Big Mt, 2286, Saturday the 19th
It was a usual Saturday in Big MT, Lobotomites were prowling around looking for things to kill whilst the Y-17 Trauma Override Harnesses were wondering around with Tesla Cannons, and the Courier was sniping the lot from her balcony. Inside, the Think Tank were collaborating on a new protect with an old friend who stopped by every now and again to aide them in their quest for science.
"So what you're saying is that we don't cross the phase streams?"
"Precisely Bassicus. Doing so could end all of creation as we know it." Monotoned Dr. Klein.
"Or turn everything into giant teddy bears." Dr. Dala giddily replied.
"No it will just destroy all of creation."
"I crossed the phase beams." Bassicus smartly replied.
"You've doomed us all!" Shouted Dr. Klein.
"And you haven't noticed something odd yet?" Queried Bassicus.
"*Unintelligible White Noise*"
"Let him figure it out on his own, Dr. 8."
"Would you be quiet Dr. 0." Growled Dr. Klein.
"Ah screw it, We're still here Klein."
"Your point, Borous?"
"Forget it. Lets continue with science."
"Excellent idea, Borous."
After that little side adventure they finally got back to the task at hand. After several hours the courier came down to see what all the fuss was about and to say hello to her only non-ghoul or brain-in-a-jar immortal friend.
"Hey Bassicus, how's it hanging?"
"It's hanging rather well, considering the cables are being held up by centuries old steel supports."
"...OK?"
"That was a joke. I'm doing rather well, thank you for asking."
"IT is complete!" Decried Dr. Klein in a rather excited voice.
"I've gotta go stop them from terrorizing another dimension, cya." And with that he fled to take the most powerful device in the Think Tanks claws away from them.
"Get your stinking penises off our new invention!"
"For the last time, Klein. They're called fingers and it's rightfully mine as I supplied the idea and the parts behind its construction."
"DAMN YOU AND YOUR LOGIC!" D. Klein bellowed before retreating to his room.
"That was easier than I thought it would. Well I'm gonna arm up and then leave this dimension forever."
"Why?" asked the Courier as she started giving Bassicus a shoulder massage.
"Because this planet sickens me. Also I know you're pregnant and I want nothing to do with the child." He replied before breaking contact and sprinting like there was no tomorrow to Dr. Mobius' lair to escape the infinite wrath of a woman scorned.
Thirty minutes later he found himself inside Dr. Mobius' Lair, where he stores all his stuff to keep it safe from the Think Tank.
"Mobius, I'm hoooome!" he yelled in a sing-song voice.
"Did you distract the Think Tank like I asked?"
"Yes and I also got my ticket out of this hellhole in the process."
"Well I guess you'll be wanting your liver back then." Dr. Mobius said with a slightly sad tinge to his voice.
"You have my liver?"
"... No." Dr. Mobius tried to sidetrack.
"When did you get my liver?"
"Last night. I was going to put it right back. HONEST!"
"Why do I live here again?"
"Because the Think Tank have done far worse?"
"Point taken. Well I'm gonna get my stuff and then copy all the data from the databanks into my Pipboy 25000."
"Where did you find that anyway?"
"Made it."
"Okay, Bring back some Mentats."
"Sure." After that slightly awkward conversation Dr. Mobius, Bassicus went to his room to gather this belongings. One suit of Hydra Power Armor (Custom made by combining a Y-17 Trauma Override Harness, a suit of T51-b Power Armor, Remnants Power Armor and Various Stealth suits and advanced alloys.), a Titan Anti-building Rifle (Made from overcharging a Gauss Rifles magnets with a Tesla Cannons conductors and power sources and then throwing in a Anti-Material rifle for good measure.), a Rail Pistol (Bassicus loves him some good old magnetically accelerated .44 rounds.), an Electron Plasma Halberd (The Bastard child of the bastard children of a Plasma Rifle, a Protonic Inversal Axe, a Saturnite reinforced pool cue and a Pulse Emitter.), and various other bits and bobs mostly consisting of food, caps and a shit ton of chems.
"Well I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Wish me luck."
"Bye, have a pleasant time in wherever." Dr. Mobius said, a little sad that all the cool stuff Bassicus owned was leaving.
After that heartfelt goodbye from Dr. Mobius, Bassicus set the Dimensional... Mover... Device on random and activated it.
Equestria, Canterlot, 1001, Saturday the 18th
Princess Celestia was minding her own business when she inadvertently walked into a statue placed in the middle of the hall. "Who put this here?" She said whilst rubbing her muzzle.
"What was that commotion I just heard?" asked Princess Luna in perfectly normal Modern Equestrian (The speaking in Old Equestrian was a Prank she decided to play on all the citizens of Ponyville) as she walked into the hallway to spy her sister lying on the ground rubbing her muzzle. "This is just too funny."
"Shut up and help me move this statue to the gardens, will you?"
"Fine, fine."
"I can hear everything you've been saying you know, and out of the top hundred weirdest things that have happened to me, this doesn't even rank in the top twenty."
"What was that?' Luna asked whilst looking for the source of the voice.
"I did." Luna swore she heard the statue speak.
"Okay, this is starting to fell a lot like that time a cult was formed around my actions and I had to disband them before they did anything crazy. Turns out they were all blind."
"What manner of statue are you?" Celestia asked the statue.
"I'm a statue, I just ran out of power for my Power Armor. So if you would kindly replace the Fusion Core with a fresh one I'll be on my way."
"Fusion Core?"
"The large rectangle with 'Caution: Highly dangerous if given to retards' on it."
"You mean this?" Luna asked after a few minutes of rummaging around in his truly vast back.
"Yes, now just take out the drained one and insert the new one."
"Okay." Luna obediently obeyed the strange statue and replaced the Fusion Core like it asked. After a few seconds strange whirring noises were heard from the statue, then it began to move.
"Thank you, kind ponies."
"You wouldn't believe how many inter-dimensional travelers mistake us for horses."
"Well would you look at that! Trees, I haven't see those since I visited Oasis. So green." The strange moving statue remarked as it walked to the nearest window and gazed outside the palace.
"What are you exactly?" Queried Luna.
"I'm a human, weird, possibly magical, talking ponies."
"I see... Why did you come here?"
"Got bored of the same scenery after two and a bit centuries."
"You're immortal as well?" Luna hopefully asked. It gets so lonely only having your sister as a companion.
"Sorta, I can die from excessive bodily trauma and getting absolutely piss drunk and betting the Think Tank I can't out science them, that was a wild, wild giant invisible robot hunt."
"I wonder if twilight would get along with him?"
"Probably, though I don't know how she'll react to a strange armor clad creature showing up."
"Probably try to study it."
"Let's try to introduce him ourselves."
"DAFUQ IS THAT!" exclaimed the alien... pointing at a pigeon.
"That's a pigeon."
"Not that, the thing behind it." He said after angling his appendage slightly more so it pointed at Cloudsdayle.
"That's Cloudsdayle, it's the center for all weather control in Equestria."
"I don't see how any machines could possibly be stored in those clouds. Unless they're made of a composite lighter than air alloy, which would mean I can tinker around with it and see what I can make!" The alien suddenly started ecstatically saying.
"Would you like a place to stay mister..."
"Bassicus."
"Mister Bassicus. I'm sure we can find a bed that can comfortably accommodate you." Celestia said whilst eying the six foot ten giant.
"Awesome, I haven't slept on a proper mattress since 2060, which was the day I was abducted by aliens." Bassicus cheerfully remarked to both princesses.
"You were kidnapped by aliens?"
"Sure was, escaped after a while and then was recaptured whilst helping out a friend in the Capital Wasteland. Showed those assholes how not to treat humans."
"What did you do?" Luna asked, fully not expecting the answer she would receive.
"We killed them all and took over the ship and destroyed the other ship they sent to take us out. got some cool teach out of it, never did figure out how to properly implement it into something better. But there's always tomorrow." He stopped for a few seconds to sniff something before continuing," I really need a bath, Two centuries of not bathing really does a number on how you smell things."
"So somepony didn't fart." Celestia mused, causing Luna to start giggling.
"Laugh it up, I can still explode you onto the walls."
"We're the rulers of Equestria, we move the sun and moon, what could a being such as you possibly do to harm us?" Celestia menacingly glared at Bassicus. In response to which he took out his Anti-Building rifle and walked outside and aimed at the mountain on the other side of the valley.
"Might want to cover your ears." He warned before pulling the trigger and causing the mountain he was targeting to have a rather large tunnel bored into it and a slight hissing sound to come from the barrel. "Why everything I meet believes this is going to e the loudest gun in the world is beyond me." He said whilst chuckled at the look on the princesses faces as they saw what this weapon was capable of.
"I think we should respect his privacy and not try to read his mind." Luna whispered to Celestia who vigorously nodded her head in agreement.
"Wouldn't work even if you tried. I have enhanced mental abilities thanks to the experiments the aliens did on me."
"Well let us retire to the dining hall for dinner."
"Whats for dinner?"
"What ever you want."
"Sweet, I can't wait to see your take on a Deathclaw Egg Omelet."
"Deathclaw?"
"Giant blood thirsty creatures that roam certain parts of the wastes and are really hard to kill without the right gear."
"Then how do you get their eggs?"
"I generally just waltz into their nests with my stealth systems active and swap them out with some remote detonated Fatmines."
"Well, let us retire to the dining hall so we can discuss more of your 'exploits'" Suggested Celestia.
"Good idea, moon butt."
"What did you call me?" Luna asked angrily.
"Moon butt, but that's only because you haven't told me your names."
"Oh, how silly of us to forget proper manners. I am Princess Celestia and this is my sister Princess Luna."
"Thank you for being gracious hosts Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. I look forward to not living in a complete hellhole filled to the brim with things that want to kill you." he said before walking off in a random direction.
"Does he even know where the dining hall is?"
"He seems to be going in the right directions."
"Has he ever been here before?" Luna asked right before they heard a large amount of swearing as Bassicus fell off of Canterlot.
"... Maybe not. Should we go and save him?"
"I guess." Celestia prepared to launch off the side of Canterlot after Bassicus when an almighty flash of light temporarily blinded her.
"I knew I installed emergency teleportation devices on this armor for a reason." Celestia opened her eyes to see Bassicus standing in front of her completely unharmed.
"How advanced is your civilization?" Luna asked with her jaw agape.
"Not that advanced. Though I did pick up some neat toys from the Commonwealth... Which I left back at my secret underground base. Meh, I'll go back and get them later. Don't suppose we could go get that meal you wee talking about now, could we?"
"Certainly." Celestia said with an air of fake certainty, internally she was absolutely terrified of what this strange creature was capable of and whether or not it was a threat to her little ponies.