FLUTTERSHY: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You've just purchased a FLUTTERSHY unit of your very own! To ensure that you use your new unit to the very best of his abilities and that you avoid painful, unexpected brushes with death, we've provided you with this manual.
WARNING: This unit loves animals and nature till breaking point. If you harm any innocent living thing in front of this unit, prepare for a world of pain. All necessary precautions you should take for your own safety are in this manual. Thus, we will not entertain any refunds, complaints or charges due to injury from your purchased unit.
Name: She responds to Fluttershy and Mama.
Age: Older than our PINKAMENA DIANE PIE unit
Place of Manufacture: Equestria, Cloudsdale
Height: Default pony height
Weight: Thin as hell
Length: ...Long enough for you to ride. As in sit on. Yes. Not whatever you're thinking.
Your FLUTTERSHY unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) ANGEL BUNNY unit (These complimentary units will be cared for by your FLUTTERSHY unit unless she is in Psychoshy mode- see below)
Ten (10) random animal units (COLLECT ALL 100! EACH PACKET CONTAINS 10! ONLY 10 US DOLLARS PER PACKET!)
One (1) Grand Galloping Gala dress
And if you have the ELEMENTS OF HARMONY EXPANSION SET coming free with the (not free) MANE SIX BUNDLE PACK:
One (1) Element of Kindness Necklace
Programming
Your FLUTTERSHY unit is capable of doing the following:
Babysitter: Your FLUTTERSHY unit is programmed to be a wonderful mother to any life form. Baby units, animal units, your slutty cousin's annoying illegitimate child she had when she was fourteen- she can take care of them, no problem. However, if she goes into Psychoshy mode while babysitting, she will be... clingy. Contact us in case of any life-threatening situation.
Silent Killer: Even without sending the unit into an insane frenzy, you can easily transform your FLUTTERSHY unit into an effective assassin. If you, say, swing a genuine 100% tiger fur coat in front of her and said that it belongs to that stuck-up put-on-ten-pounds-of-make-up-per-day whore at school, you'll find her dead by the time you can say 'yay'. And best of all- no one will know. After all, your unit is so innocent and sweet! (However, if the crime is traced to you, we're not taking responsibility.)
Beggar: With that irresistible quivering lip look, even without the puppy eyes and tears this unit can evoke sympathy out of the most iron willed men. Purchasing many FLUTTERSHY units to use as abused beggars will be very healthy for your wallet.
Removal of your FLUTTERSHY unit from Packaging
Our FLUTTERSHY unit is the sweetest and least provokable of all units, but anyone could have a bad day. To avoid a severe case of Puppyeyeintus, we have compiled a list of more acceptable ways to wake up your unit.
1. Take the ANGEL BUNNY unit or any of the animal units and start playing with them. She will slowly creep out to join. Be gentle, and she will have a good first impression of you. She may even tell you her name in an audible volume. Recommended.
2. Bake some delectable vegetarian treats and make the smell waft over to the box. Your FLUTTERSHY unit will burst out before gently floating over to the table. She will devour the snacks eagerly, warming up to you. Also recommended.
3. Hurt any of the animal units. Their cries will force your FLUTTERSHY unit into Protective mode, making her kick herself out of the box and give the offender The Stare/a telling off and threats to tell the aforementioned person's mother/kill the culprit. Thus, it is recommended for your arch nemesis to do this.
4. Instruct any MANE SIX units to open the box. The sight of a familiar friend will coax FLUTTERSHY out of the box. However, if said MANE SIX unit has anything bad to say about you, prepare to die.
5. Write a love story between two trees and exclaim 'WOW, I WONDER WHO WILL READ A BOOK ABOUT THE ROMANCE BETWEEN TWO TREES'. Your FLUTTERSHY unit will be at your side in seconds and read your work enthusiastically, no matter how badly written it is. She will then compliment you on taking a 'different' approach to romance and offer to be your friend.
Reprogramming
After unpacking your FLUTTERSHY unit, you can reprogram her into any of the following modes:
Shy (Default)
Kind (Default)
Protective
Psychoshy
Sad
Horny
Gungirl (Locked)
Your FLUTTERSHY unit comes in Shy and Kind mode. She will be soft-spoken and attempt to be the best friend you can ever have, protecting everything that is nice to her. Anyone whom she likes will be treated as a great friend. However, she is also rather overprotective, though not as much as Protective mode. In Protective mode, which is activated by harming her friends, all traces of shyness is erased and she will immediately defend her friends with a meat cleaver. If you dare to hurt her friends in that mode, prepare to die. Again. Only in these modes can she use the Element of Kindness Necklace.
Psychoshy mode is the scariest mode FLUTTERSHY has, seconded only by Gungirl. She will be extremely clingy, hoarding and keeping all her friends in any enclosed dungeon/chamber/evil place of doom that they are incapable of escaping from. She will never allow any of her friends or 'children' to leave her, lest they want to be skinned alive as an example to the rest. To reset her back to default mode, you must let her see the error of her ways by showing the suffering her friends are going through. To get her IN this mode in the first place, you must make her become frustrated over animals not liking her.
Sad mode is activated by insulting or bashing FLUTTERSHY. She will immediately start crying and apologize incessantly. If a Default RAINBOW DASH unit is nearby, she will comfort your FLUTTERSHY unit back to Default mode if she did not see you criticize her. If the RAINBOW DASH unit DID see you, there is a 99% chance of a shitstorm that's coming right at you.
During the mating season for horses, FLUTTERSHY will automatically go into Horny mode. In this mode, she forces all pony units, mare and stallion alike, to ride the living daylights out of her. Since she is incapable of becoming pregnant until further advances into the science of robotics, she doesn't care about trivial stuff like condoms and safety. No unit is safe in this mode. She will even demand PRINCESS CELESTIA to engage in sordid activities with her. If left alone with any young and attractive humans in this mode, they will be met with not-so-educational enlightenment about bestiality. It is recommended for you to reset her CLOCK programming every time the mating season draws close. She tends to wear her Grand Galloping Gala dress while in this mode to appear more attractive.
Your FLUTTERSHY unit's Gungirl mode is only activated when her closest friends declare war against any common enemy. At first, FLUTTERSHY will try to convince her friends to settle the matter without violence. However, once one of her friends are hurt, all hell will break loose. She will have a warm smile implanted on her face, happy she is helping her friends by killing. She will carry the same smile while firing a shotgun. Otherwise, she acts just like default, though she is stronger and less shy, willing to stand up for herself and shoot the shit out of you. To reset your FLUTTERSHY unit, you must contact us. We will send a team to resolve your war and reset all units.
Relationships with Other Units
RAINBOW DASH: Having been to flight school together, FLUTTERSHY is quite close to RAINBOW DASH. RAINBOW DASH also tends to take the role of protecting your FLUTTERSHY unit from any harm. RAINBOW DASH also helped your unit get her Cutie Mark, so she is quite close to her.
MANE SIX PACK: While RAINBOW DASH gets a special mention for being quite close to FLUTTERSHY, your unit treats the rest of the MANE SIX PACK equally. They are all her great friends, and she will stick with them to the end. The chance of romance between any of them is high if any of the units take the initiative.
ANGEL BUNNY: This unit is her 'baby', and she will pamper and spoil him incessantly. Dare to touch him and your face will be introduced to her two hind hoofs. Same goes for other animal units.
Cleaning
Your FLUTTERSHY unit will clean herself, but she won't mind if you shower with her, though she will be more shy than usual.
Rest
Your unit will sleep regularly at 9pm in your timezone and wake up at 6am. Nothing comes in her way when it comes to sleeping. Nothing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q. Why are there moans coming from the other room?
A. Is your unit in Horny mode? If so, save the poor victim that your FLUTTERSHY unit is screwing with.
Q. Why did my FLUTTERSHY unit just kill some of her animal units?
A. Congratulations! You have unlocked her Psychoshy mode! Now get the hell out of there.
Troubleshooting
Problem: Instead of a adult-sized FLUTTERSHY unit, you received a small and shrunken down FLUTTERSHY unit which does not have a Cutie Mark. She tries to fly but always fails horribly.
Solution: Whoops! We sent you a FILLY FLUTTERSHY unit. This unit is a weak flyer and not yet introduced to the wonders of the ground. We can switch her for your ordered unit if you contact us.
Problem: Your unit has taken to writing tree romance stories as a hobby, and it's leaving all readers scarred for life.
Solution: You used Method 5 to get her out of her packaging, didn't you? There is no known way to reverse this except for a full system reboot. Contact us if you really can't stand stories of trees caressing each other in inappropriate places all over the house.
End Notes
If treated with kindness and love, FLUTTERSHY unit will be a wonderful companion! We wish you luck!