Dash and Derpy's Ditzy Discursions

by AndyManX

Cloudy With a Chance of Derp

Rainbow Dash was always looked up to for her excellent skill in flying and weather control. It was no surprise when she was placed as Ponyville's lead Weather Pony. Being able to clear the sky in ten seconds and having the leadership to organize other pegasi in large events such as Winter Wrap Up, Rainbow Dash was the clear choice. Despite her great qualities, however, Rainbow wasn't a one mare army. For the large weather jobs, such as organizing thunderstorms or large levels of snowfall, Rainbow Dash would need the help of a few other ponies. This may be contrary to her nature, but Dash accepted that sometimes, one just needs help.

That day was no exception. Dash had just gotten word from some of the Manehattan pegasi that a large thunderstorm would be moving from the bustling city and down to Ponyville. The storm was fierce in Manehattan, but the buildings there were sturdy enough to withstand it. Ponyville, however, would have taken some damage, so precautions were needed. That's where Rainbow Dash came in.

"Right," Dash said to herself, "so all I have to do is get the storm broken up before it hits Ponyville too hard. Easy enough. Let me just check the schedule, see if I can get a bit of help here..."

Rainbow hurried back to her cloud home to look at her master schedule, covering all the work times for the weather team. The weather pony schedule alternated every day, as the workers had other obligations sometimes. There were generally two or three other ponies on the job besides Dash at any given time. That day, there were two ponies on call.

"Hmm... Well, Lightning Bolt called off today... Something about family issues. Oh well, that just leaves..."

Upon reading the name of the only other pony on duty, Dash's jaw dropped, her eyes went wide, and her ears drooped, all creating an expression of horror.

"Oh sweet Celestia, not her..."

Almost as if on cue, a pegasus crashed through one of the cloud walls of Dash's home and into Dash herself. After a moment of getting over the initial shock, Dash came to and finds herself staring up to a gray pegasus with a blond mane and yellow eyes, looking in opposite directions.

"Sorry about that, Rainbow Dash!" The mare spoke, "It's hard to tell how far away the wall is sometimes." She then pulled Dash and herself upright. After that, she saluted with a serious look on her face, or as serious as you can get considering your eyes refuse to agree to look in one direction.

"Derpy reporting for duty!"

Rainbow Dash stood dumbfounded. Of all the ponies to help her with clearing a storm, Derpy had to be the ONLY one available that day. Dash and Derpy never really saw eye-to-eye, so to speak. Where Dash was always concerned with grand and spectacular, Derpy focused on the simple to occupy herself, often to a fault. Derpy was constantly distracted by little tangents of fun, such as hopping on a cloud or following a group of butterflies. This usually made working with her difficult as it's hard to keep her attention most of the time.

Dash sighed and buried her face in her hoof, already feeling the weight of the day's frustration weighing down on her. "This is gonna be a long day."

Dash and Derpy were out a few miles west from Ponyville, going to meet the storm halfway. They soon found themselves in a blanket of dark clouds with a torrential downpour and a light show of thunderbolts coming from them. Dash had her serious face on, ready to tackle the towering adversity in front of her.

"Alright, Derpy," Dash said, turning to her partner in this endeavor, "all we have to do i-huh?"

Derpy was nowhere to be seen. Rainbow looked around for Derpy, both confused and frustrated at her sudden absence. She soon saw the clumsy mare chasing a small group of birds through some trees. Dash facehoofed at the scene.

"Of all the silly... DERPY!" Dash called out to the other weather mare, who immediately stopped and looked up to her. "Come on, we got a job to do! Stop horsing around!"

Derpy quietly flew back up to Rainbow Dash. Her expression was one of childish self-disappointment and worry.

"Sorry, Rainbow," Derpy began, "I just thought I could get the birds and-"

"No!" Dash cut Derpy off, not wanting Derpy's usual antics to get in the way of the issue at hand. "No playing with the birds! We gotta break this storm quickly! Come on, let's get to it!"

Derpy saluted her superior and the two took off into the oncoming storm. Rainbow went right to work, flying through the large storm clouds, making large holes in them. She kicked away at the edges of the clouds, thinning them out to safer sizes. The wind was strong during that time and the clouds occasionally discharged a lightning bolt here and there, but Rainbow Dash just saw it as a way to endurance train while on the job. Braving the elements, she easily brought down a good portion of the storm to safer levels.

"Aww yeah!" Rainbow praised herself, "That's how you do it! How ya doing over there, Der... What the..."

What Dash saw was and wasn't a shock at the same time. In the area where Derpy was clearing clouds, there were only a few with actual visible work done to them A couple had a hole or two through them, but besides that, nothing had been done to that area and Derpy wasn't to be seen. Rainbow looked down to find her partner chasing a group of birds through tress. Again.

This time, however, Dash had had enough.

"DERPY!"

The wall-eyed mare immediately halted and looked up to her partner. She swallowed nervously, knowing what was about to happen.

"Sorry Rainbow, but I-" Derpy began, only to be silenced by Dash's oncoming verbal assault.

"NO! No more 'sorry's or 'but's or anything! I'm busting my chops up here and you're just playing with birds!?"

Derpy was downright scared. Earlier she was berated by just a frustrated pony. This time, she was receiving the full front of an angry pony's wrath. She tried to continue.

"But I thought that-"

"You thought WRONG! If all you want to is play around on the job, then you might as well not be here! Why don't you just get out of here and let the ponies who are serious about their jobs do them!?"

Derpy was left speechless. She knew that she was clumsy and not exactly the brightest pegasus, but she felt hurt hearing this onslaught of words. Then, the tears came. When Rainbow saw them, she shook her head in disappointment.

"Just go home, Derpy." Dash said sternly, "You're done here."

With that, she took off and disappeared into the clouds, leaving Derpy to quietly sob alone.

Rainbow resumed her task of clearing the clouds on her own. She tried to focus on her work, but all she could think about was the frustration that Derpy had put her through. Frankly, she was mad.

"That ditzy pony... Why'd I even let her come along? All she does is cause trouble for everypony around her! Next time I'll just get Cloud Kicker or somepony relia-"

Dash's rambling got cut short by a lightning bolt firing off just beside her. Had she been paying attention, she would have dodged it just fine. Unfortunately for her, the bolt grazed her wing, singeing it. Rainbow yelped in pain and fell down out of the sky. She landed on a cloud lower than the ones she was working on and felt her injured wing. It was slightly burnt and tender to the touch. Dash tried to flap it but was greeted with more searing pain.

"OWW!" Dash screamed, "Celestia, that hurts! How am I supposed to clear this storm now!?"

Dash looked up to the storm above her. While she had done quite a lot on it, it was still forceful enough to cause some damage to Ponyville. And wouldn't you know it? It was nearing the small town. Dash watched in horror as the black clouds loomed over the city inch by inch.

"Oh horseapples, what am I gonna do!?"

Rainbow's gaze went down from the storm to a treetop not too far away. On that tree was Derpy, sitting and crying softly. Dash's mouth hung open in shock at the sight.

"That silly pony didn't..." Dash shook her head clear of the thought and instead called out to her, "Derpy! What are you doing!? You gotta get out of here!"

Derpy, hearing her name called, looked over to Dash and saw her injured wing. She then looked up to the still daunting storm and swallowed nervously. Even if she left for home, she would still be left in danger of the storm. She only had one option and she went right to it, her expression suddenly turning serious. Derpy flew off into the trees and Rainbow dash facehoofed.

"Oh for Luna's sake," Dash began, "there's no time for this, Derpy! Stop playing with the-"

This time Rainbow was cut off by the next sight she saw. Out of the trees a large flock of different types of birds rose, flying frantically to escape their pursuer, a gray pegasus with her game face on, who soon flew up as well. Derpy chased after the birds up into the storm clouds and left Dash to watch in amazement and confusion.

"What the..." Rainbow was left speechless by the sight. Derpy was quickly zooming through the clouds, chasing the birds into them. They altogether made multiple small holes into each cloud they passed through, spreading them out significantly. Derpy kept focused in her endeavor, swiftly guiding the flock into every cloud she could and clearing them all in a matter of minutes. After that time, the sky was just a very light shade of gray, the storm thinned out to almost nothing. The birds flew off in their separate ways and Derpy flew to meet a over-surprised Rainbow Dash on her cloud.

"D-derpy..." Dash began, "that... was... AMAZING!!! I didn't know you could do something like that! You cleared out that storm better than I could have! Great work, no, incredible work!"

Derpy smiled proudly and responded to her superior.

"Thanks, Rainbow Dash! I knew getting the birds in the clouds would make things smoother!"

Dash chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"That they did, Derpy." Dash remarked. Her expression fell a little after that as she felt remorse. "Listen, I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. If I had known that's what you were trying to do..."

Derpy giggled and patted Dash's back.

"It's alright, Rainbow. You just gotta listen so this doesn't happen again. Communication is always a good thing!"

"Yeah, I'll remember that..." Dash smiled at her partner and then looked at her own damaged wing.

"How am I gonna get down like this? I can't fly too well with this wing."

"Oh don't worry about that!" Derpy exclaimed, "I'll carry you to Ponyville myself!"

Derpy went right ahead and scooped Rainbow Dash onto her back and jumped off the cloud.

"Hey wait, Derpy, I'm not sure-" That was all Dash managed to get out before the two plummeted to the trees below. Turns out Derpy couldn't hold much weight. The duo landed in the tree branches, their manes and tails tangled around them. Dash shot a small glare at Derpy, who smiled embarrassingly.

"I just don't know what went wrong!" She said.

All Dash could do was sigh and laugh at the situation before the two worked their way down and headed back home.