It was a fair day in ponyville. No one thing was wrong; no one thing out of place. And on such a fair day as this, where was Berry Punch? She was locked away in her house, bent over a stack of papers. Her daughter played outside the building, though no one was with her.
Pinchy was the star of Berry’s life. So much so, that the adult had taken great care to raise her daughter away from the issues that made life less than fun. The first of the papers was a rent notice for the building she lived in. The one below that was the charge she spent on her business, a juice bar called A Pinch and a Punch. Below those were more papers citing additional charges and owed bits.
So heavy were the thoughts of owed money that they crushed a sigh out through her lips. Berry Punch leaned away from the papers and looked out the nearby window towards her daughter, who played happily in the yard. Things were getting tighter and tighter; ponies were growing accustomed to her drinks, and buying them less because of it. True, she had a few regular customers who came in, but nowhere near as many as she needed. Deciding she needed something to clear her mind, she grabbed a well-worn basket and stood from her seat, leaving the papers behind.
Upon exiting the door to the building, she smiled when her daughter approached at a rapid pace. The filly recognized the basket immediately and began into a flurry of words. The same flurry of words that she received every time she left to gather her wares.
“Can I come with you this time? I promise I’ll be careful. I really, really will. Please please pleeeeaaase?” A smile broke across the mare’s face like a flash flood. The days were few and far between when Berry would let her daughter join her for berry picking, but she had been informed by Fluttershy that today was just such a day and the dangerous animals of the Everfree wouldn’t be near the borders.
“Well how could I say no to three pleases?” Berry said with a shrug, her wide smile telling an incredibly different story than her body movements. “I guess you get to come with me this time.”
There was a brief second or two where the filly didn’t immediately respond. This time was taken up by the sheer volume of her expanding smile that threatened to destroy the universe with the amount of ‘huzzah’ it would soon unleash.
Berry Punch acted just in time, saving the entirety of existence. “Well, let’s get going, then!” she said and began to walk toward the Everfree, where her berry plants grew. The act of running excitedly managed to degrade the fun levels in the filly to a reasonable amount.
The trip was moderately not-quite-interesting and they were there in a reasonable period of time, which is to say it wasn’t quite long, but neither was it short. Berry Punch smiled as Pinch stuck close to her. The fear of the Everfree was like that for the vast majority of ponies, but Berry had a large trust in Fluttershy and was sure that, in a non-ominous kind of way, the creatures of the forest wouldn’t be around to hurt them. Just to be careful, she tapped a nearby tree twice and moved on; it would suck if she were to be jinxed in some deus ex machina kinda way and she, in fact, encountered a manticore while she was with her daughter. Don’t ya think?
The bushes of berries came into view and the mother and daughter began to pick from the plants, the daughter doing so quite speedily. Ponies often asked how Berry’s juice packed such a strong, yet agreeable, flavor. This was her secret. The soil of the Everfree was enriched with ancient magics that affected anything that grew in them. Berry, being the wonderful manager and mother she was, would taste a ‘sample’ of the drinks she created, to ensure there were no ill side effects of course. Though sometimes, if she made a new brew and found it extremely tasty, she would drink more of it. To double check, of course.
Before too long, the basket was full, Pinch not having spoken a word the entire time, and they were ready to leave. Berry Punch picked the basket up in her mouth and they began to leave. That is, until the sound of screaming echoed around the area. Pinch took refuge underneath her mother out of fear. Berry started looking around for the source, but no matter which way she looked, the sound seemed to be coming from somewhere else. Confused, Berry began to back out of the forest, Pinch moving with her all the while.
The sound of breaking branches brought her gaze skyward. A blur shot through the treetops in a falling fashion and ended up with its face in the dirt. Of course, his arrival is never going to be explained, so you’d better not be waiting for it.
Mother and daughter were silent and still from shock. Slowly, the form began to move. Berry Punch moved her filly behind her and watched as the being rolled onto its back. A cup-like entity was clutched in its hand and it was wearing quite an ensemble of clothing that spoke boldly in the language of colors. Like how really impressive things can be loud, you know. Like that.
Berry’s hooves shuffled as she found herself caught between checking if the thing was all right and running away in a mad dash for her and her daughters life. Because creatures that clearly have no built-in means of attack are gonna scare the horses with the ability to knock apples from trees. Oooo, look at the scary omnivore who probably weighs less then me.
Regardless of the thought processes in Berry’s mind, that didn’t change the fact that the noise from her movements caught the attention of the creature. It glanced toward her and its eyes widened. It bolted upright and backed away, somehow uninjured after the fall. Berry and Pinch mimicked the maneuver. They stared at each other for a period of time much like that of the trip from Ponyville to the Everfree. Then, at last, the creature spoke up.
“What did you guys slip into my smoothie?”
Berry had no idea what a smoothie was, but decided it would the best thing to ask questions about. She did, he told her, and her business was saved. Celestia came and sent him back home with his memories and everyone lived happily ever after.
Because that makes total sense, I know. No, actually, it was something closer to “holy crap, what are you?!” that shot forth from Berry’s mouth as her suspension of disbelief shattered, much like anyone else’s who is reading this story.
The man was on the offensive and held his hands up in front of him in such a way that he looked like he was used to having swords for arms. He couldn’t have, though. After all, he was only moderately involved in religion; there was no way he could be a zealot. Regardless, he still held the cup by the handle, keeping it pinched between his thumb and forefinger, which is useless information that I’m supplying purely for visual purpose only.
More pause. Then, he spoke in answer. “I’m human...” It was reluctant, clearly. So clear, in fact, that Berry saw clean through it, and that he had actually wanted to say that right off the bat, but held back for some reason. She chewed on that for a minute, then chewed on a berry to help her chew on it. Everything went better with berries.
“I see...” Which wasn’t a lie, because she could actually see. I mean, you probably knew this, but I figured you’d want to know at this point in the story that she isn’t actually blind. Because putting important information halfway through the chapter is a good thing to do, right? Right... moving on.
Berry Punch wasn’t sure if this being was dangerous or not, so she did the only thing a being would do when unsure of someone’s motives: she asked him a question and then trusted his response one hundred percent. “Why are you here?”
Ah, but the man knew the sly trick of expecting him to tell the truth, so he went along with it. “I have absolutely no idea.”
Shock. Awe. Etc. “Well, where do you live?”
“Not. Here,” the human said with a certain certainty that certainly certified his response.
“Oh, oh, mom, mom,” came the call of the child standing behind Berry. When her mother turned to face her, the child continued. “Can we keep him?”
“Uhh...” came the response from the man and the mother. They shared a glance, then looked back to the child. “Well...” Berry glanced at the man in annoyance. He blushed in embarrassment and stopped copying her, which was really for the best. I know I hate it when brats try and pretend to know me. No one knows me. My voice is not that high! Friggin’ kids.
“Please please pleeeaaase?” Pinch added, now knowing her mother’s weakness.
“Well, I guess if he wouldn’t mind it too much...” Berry decided to trust the being, for now, but if he did anything to Pinch, she swore then and there that she would turn him into punch, maybe straighten her mane to add to the effect. Get a whole mentally insane look going. She tossed that idea away; who would believe something that over the top?
“Well, I don’t really have anywhere to go, so if it wouldn’t bother you, then I’d be fine with it.”
I know you think I’m making this all up, now. ‘Where’s the tension that was so prevalent a few paragraphs ago?’ you ask. Well, Pinch is cute, so I don’t have to answer any of your crap. Search your mind, you know this to be true.
“I’m fine with it, Mr....”
“John. John Doe.”
“All right, Mr. Doe,” she said, wondering why he was named after a female deer. That didn’t make any sense. “Is there anything you can do to help carry your own weight? Bring in some money to help support the house?”
“Uhh....” It was the biggest pause of them all. Well, almost. I suppose some bears have bigger paws than that. He looked at his surroundings, then to the device in his hand. “I can make smoothies?”