Princess Celestia,
I’ve done something horrible. This place is not what I thought it was. I don’t know what to do to help it and I feel terrible. I’ve seen my friends turn against one another. Not only that, but … Princess, I killed two of my best friends. I burned them alive. Their screams haunt my dreams at night and my memories while your sun rolls in the sky. I can still hear their cries of agony and the roar of the flames as it devoured the building. I … I can’t help but see them, their bodies sizzling from the grease of their flesh as it fries in the heat. They struggle in vain to escape the fire, reaching helplessly in an attempt to escape. Their movements slowing as the stench of burning mane and flesh fills the air. They’re inescapable, the odor and screams …
Let me gather my thoughts and try to explain …
Applejack distributes illicit substances. The whole apple harvesting business is a fake. Apparently, everypony knows what she does, but they didn’t tell me. They let me think she was a kind and benevolent pony, but she just acted that way to keep me in the dark. She thought I was sent from Canterlot to gather information against her. That’s why she let me stay, to figure out what I was doing and to … silence me. I’m sure she would have killed me if I had been a spy. If she saw this letter, I’d certainly not survive. She would take me to a shed, tie me up, and beat me to death. She’d take her time in killing me. She’d probably enjoy it despite how she tells me that I am her closest friend. The look in her eyes when she held me at gunpoint and made me throw that bomb into Sugar Cube Corner, it gives me chills. I could see right into her soul … she was enjoying it. She was enjoying making me kill Pinkie and Fluttershy. Her grin was sickening when the screaming started. We stood out in front of the razing building for a while, I don’t know how long really, it felt like an eternity. I never thought we would leave. It was like a nightmare that wouldn’t end. I just kept thinking that I would wake up shortly; springing up in the bed with my heart beating rapidly but comforted with the knowledge that it was just a horribly vivid dream. Of course, that wasn’t the case…
Why? It turns out that even Pinkie and Fluttershy, my closest friends, were manufacturing another type of drug and selling it to a rival group of Applejack’s. They promised that they were stopping, that they were leaving that very night and Applejack would never see them again. It didn’t matter. She set her thugs on them and, once they were thoroughly beaten and injured, she made me finish them off.
Friendship? Is this what friendship is, Princess? Am I supposed to trust Applejack after all of the lies? After what she … I did to Pinkie and Shy? A friend is supposed to love and support, but how can I support this? How can I love Applejack?
I suppose I have no choice. I live with Applejack still. She won’t let me leave. Even if I did, where would I go? I can’t come back to Canterlot after this. I couldn’t be your pupil any longer. I don’t deserve it. Applejack made me her advisor, telling me that I had a role to fill now that I was part of her Family. I have no choice but to remain at Sweet Apple Acres and assist Applejack with my intelligence. Maybe I can sway her from more murders, but I doubt it. Not after I witnessed how much she enjoyed it. I could always kill myself. It might be what is best after the sins I have committed. There’s still the magic of friendship, I suppose. Somewhere there must be real friendships, one’s that are not based on lies and deceit. If I can search it out, I may be able to help of the ponies in Ponyville. Maybe I can even redeem Applejack and the other Apples. I don’t know if it can happen, but I will try. I don’t want to end my own life, Princess. I get the feeling that I won’t have to. Eventually, I will anger Applejack or somepony else and find myself a victim of this place.
I’ve failed your test, but maybe I can still do some good. If I try my hardest, I may be able to salvage what little good there is in this town and find my way back home. It’s the only hope I have left.
Your Student,
Twilight Sparkle
***
Twilight looked at the letter she had just written, her eyes floating in tears, and understood that there was no possible way she could actually send it to her teacher. She couldn’t face Celestia after what she had done. In some ways, just writing it had eased her suffering, but she knew there was much more pain to be had. Her horn flickered with purplish energy as the paper crumpled into a neat ball and magically caught fire.