Chapter 3: A New World, a New Life
I woke up to the smell of the sea, and to my beautiful angel by my side. I hugged her tight and kissed her forehead, and she moaned in her sleep and pulled herself tighter against me. However, as I began to become more alert, I noticed the hair was not blonde, but rainbow-patterned...and the tip of the wings along the back of her collar were blue, not gold. The realization of what I just did to my company dawned on me, and I fell backwards off the bed in shock, slamming my head against the ground.
Ugh...what a fucking great way to start the day. Nice job, dumbass.'
As my vision began to clear a bit, I noticed the concerned face of Dash looking down at me.
"Oh my gosh, are you okay? I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to startle you or anything!" she explained quickly.
I waved a hand in dismissal. "You didn't do anything, Dash. It was just me being stupid."
She looked down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at me. "Who was she?"
"Who was who?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I stood up.
She held my gaze with a blank expression. "The girl you thought I was...who was she?"
"Wh-what do you mean?" I stuttered out.
Dash rolled her eyes at me, but still held a concerned and gentle look. "I'm a lot smarter than my friends - or you - think. And besides...I was awake, Koa."
I was honestly shocked. The show never showed this side of Rainbow Dash...was I speaking to the same person? And she was awake? Now I felt even more like a dumbass. I could have just made something up...but something about her made me not want to lie to her...ever. And so, with a heavy heart, I sat next to her on the bed.
I dropped my gaze to my feet as I drew a sharp breath in before speaking in a somber tone, "She was my wife." I heard a gasp next to me, but I continued. "She died a few years ago after getting sick." I then placed my hand on Rainbow Dash’s back. "She had a tattoo of golden wings on her back, a lot like the one of your wings on your back. She was my godsend...and I miss her so much. I used to call her..."
Dash finished for me. "My little angel..."
I stared at Dash in awe, wondering how the hell she could have known that. "How did you know I'd say that?"
She smiled softly at me. "Just a feeling. My mom used to talk about me the same way, and called me the same thing." She looked down at the ground and sighed sadly. "She was struck by lightning during an unregulated thunderstorm that hit Ponyville when I was four."
I rubbed her shoulder softly as she sat there. "I'm sorry Dash...I didn't know."
She shrugged and looked at me with those bright rose eyes. "It wasn't your fault, Koa. It wasn't anypony's fault. I lost my mom...but I know she was doing what she loved and she was trying to protect me." She smiled and gained a look of pride, even though there was a tear in her eye. "All of the other pegasi left and let the storm rage. But my mom...she wasn't going to just give up. If it hadn't been for her, there might not be a Ponyville left...and more than just her would have died that day." She then placed a hand on my shoulder and frowned. "But you? You lost the one pon- er, person that meant most to you. You're a lot stronger than I am, Koa."
I dropped my hands to my sides and stared at her. "Me, stronger than you? I never took down Discord, or Nightmare Moon, or the queen of the changelings. How the hell am I stronger than you?"
She smiled sadly again and closed her eyes. "You know me somehow, so I take it you noticed that I don't let myself get close to anypony." I nodded and she continued. "Well, there's a reason for that, Koa. After I lost my mom, I withdrew into myself a lot. I was little...just old enough to know my mom, but not old enough to be able to be okay when she died." She shuddered a bit before clearing her throat and continuing. "I never wanted to go through that kind of pain again...so I put a distance between myself and everypony else. If I never got close to anypony, it wouldn't hurt as bad when I lost them." She then opened her eyes and looked at me. "That's why you're stronger than me, Koa. If I lost somepony I cared about that much to want to marry them, I don't know if I'd be able to go on."
I shrugged and lay back on the bed. "Well, I can't say it's easy, Dash...but I'm not going to just give up. My 'never stop fighting' attitude was one of the things she liked most about me...and if I just gave up, I'd be insulting her memory." I felt the bed move as Dash lay down as well, a few feet away from me. I turned to look at her and smiled. "She'll never really be dead...I make sure she lives on in me. I keep her in my heart always, and remember the good things she taught me - like how to smile even when you want to cry. She taught me how to always find the joy in life...and because of that, she'll never be gone."
She smiled back at me and nodded. "That's why I worked with the weather team, and why I never gave up becoming one of the Wonderbolts. My mom always told me that if I worked hard enough for it, I could have anything I wanted. I took that to heart, and I guess it's kinda became who I am." She giggled and shrugged. "It gets me into trouble sometimes, but it's also led to some of the best things I've ever experienced."
I nodded and stood up, looking at the brightening sky as the sun prepared to rise. I smiled and pulled Dash up with me. "Come on, Dash...there's something I want you to see."
We walked out into my back yard (if you could call about thirty square feet of grass a back yard) and I climbed up to the roof of my house. I then reached down and took her hand, pulling Dash up with me. We sat on the roof of my home, and then Dash's eyes widened as the first part of the sun peeked over the horizon. I chuckled and held onto her hand in case she slipped. As she watched the sunrise over the city, she squeezed my hand lightly in excitement. Oddly, where just yesterday this would send discomfort through me, it calmed me, and I squeezed her hand gently as well.
I smiled as she looked over at me. "Not bad for your first sunrise on Earth, huh?"
She nodded and smiled right back, though her gaze didn’t break with the horizon. "Not bad at all, Koa. Thanks for this...really. It's beautiful."
'Not as beautiful as you.'
The thought suddenly made me feel very conflicted...and with the conflicted feeling came the discomfort again. 'What the fuck are you doing, Koa? This isn't Kay! Stop that!' I released Dash's hand, and she looked confused at me. I got up to step down off of the house and ended up slipping on a shingle. The last thing I saw as I tumbled headfirst towards the ground was the concrete driveway leading to my garage...and then nothing.
I "woke up" to find myself looking at Kay, her beautiful green eyes twinkling in the sun just like they always had, and her blonde hair seeming to glow with its own radiance.
"Kay?" I asked with great apprehension.
She nodded and walked over to me, reaching down and pulling me off the ground. As soon as I stood, she threw her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. She even smelled the same...like jasmine and coconut.
I pulled away from her so I could look at her, and tears came to my eyes. As I began to take hold of my emotions, I had to ask a question that was now bothering me. "Is this a dream?"
She shook her head and smiled. "No, my demon. It's not a dream."
Then the other option dawned on me. "Wait...did I die?"
She shook her head and giggled. "No, you're very much alive."
I was now even more confused. "Okay, if I'm not dreaming and I'm not dead...how is this possible?"
"It is not a dream, but neither is this happening in reality. And yet, it's real. I'm here because you needed me." she said softly, her smile starting to change to a look of loving concern.
I nodded. "I do need you, Kay...I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I miss you so much." I stated softly, nearly crying.
She smiled sadly and sighed. "You need to let me go, Koa."
"I...I don't know if I can, Kay. It wouldn't be fair to you to just forget about you." I cried, falling to my knees in quiet sobs.
She stood over me and raised my chin with a hand, smiling down at me. "I never said forget me...I said let me go. And how is it fair to you that you keep torturing yourself like this? Live your life, Koa."
I stood up and looked into her emerald eyes. "You are my life, Kay...I love you and I can't just let it go so easily."
"I never said it would be easy, hun. Do you really think I want you to be alone for the rest of your life? Just completely alone, passing through life on your own holding onto what's gone? If you're trying not to be an insult to me, you're not doing a good job." she finished, her face now turning to a look of frustration.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Kay." I stammered out.
She crossed her arms and held an unamused expression. "You're going to fight this the whole way, so I'll just say it: she needs you, Koa. I love you very much...but I'm not the one that needs your care...and your love right now."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing...this couldn't be happening. This had to be some sort of trick. "No...I can't do that. You know I can't do that."
My angel simply walked away from me, stopping before looking over her shoulder and saying the words that hurt me more than anything I have ever felt before...
"I'm disappointed in you, Koa. I thought you were better than this."
I woke up to a slight stinging sensation on my forehead along with a agonizing throbbing wreaking havoc on the pain receptors of my head.
I groaned and pulled my hands to my head. "Ugh...someone please just kill me now and get it over with."
I opened my eyes to see a crying girl a foot or so away from me...Dash. I coughed and she flinched, turning around to see me. Her eyes widened and she wrapped me in a bone-crushing hug as soon as I sat up.
"Thank Celestia you're okay, Koa! You were out for hours..." she said as she buried her face in my chest.
I was again surprised by the gesture, but wrapped my arms around her. "Sorry about that, Dash. I didn't mean to scare you. I just got a little clumsy, I guess."
She nodded and stood up. I noticed that even though it's only been one day, she seems to be adapting to her new body well. She no longer wobbles when she's standing, and her dexterity with her fingers has been increasing a lot. How did I notice this? Because she was now running a stick through her fingers, back and forth. I'd been trying to do that for years in high school...how does she master it in one day?
She noticed me staring at her hands and blushed. "S-sorry...I'm a little stressed out is all."
I nodded and smiled. "Well Dash it's okay. I understand."
She grinned and blushed. "I...I was just worried about you is all." She then looked up at me with a tear in her eye. "You're my only friend...I don't want to lose you, Koa."
'Let me go, Koa...'
Maybe Kay was right. I couldn't say what would happen here, but maybe it was time to let someone into my life again...and actually care about another person. Dash needed me - she needed someone who was going to guide her in her new life and be a good friend to her. She needed someone to care about her and show her that maybe, just maybe, this new life didn't have to be bad. It would have to be me...and I would have to genuinely care about her to do that properly. I knew it wouldn't happen overnight...but I felt that admitting this all to myself was the first step towards a new life for myself as well. Maybe it was time to stop living in the past. Kay was a love I could never forget, but maybe that doesn't have to keep me from caring about another.
And so, in an act of spontaneousness, I walked over to the rainbow-haired girl and hugged her tightly. "You're my friend too, Dash...and I wouldn't want to lose you either."
For a moment she froze, but once she got a hold of herself she returned the hug and giggled. "It's good to have a friend." She released me and laughed. "If only AJ could see me now...she'd think I'd lost my mind."
I chuckled. "And why is that?"
The girl giggled again and explained, "Because, I never hug anyp- erm, I mean anyone...except for AJ and Fluttershy. And I never get this sappy."
"Well, change isn't necessarily a bad thing, Dash. I like you this way. I mean, not that I've known you any other way...well, you know what I mean." I said with a nervous cough.
She sighed and smiled. "Yeah, maybe you're right. I mean, it's not like I have a reputation here or anything. Maybe this can be a new beginning for me."
I walked over and placed an arm around her shoulders as we both looked out at the ocean. "A new beginning for both of us, Dash...and I want you in mine."
She then placed her hands around my waist and snuggled in close to me...and I didn't feel uncomfortable now. Quite the opposite...she was comforting me and giving me hope for my better tomorrow. I didn't know what it was, but this girl gave me the confidence to keep going towards a better future than what was originally given to me.
I looked down at her and smiled. "Hey Dash, you want to go into town with me?"
She snapped out of the moment and nodded furiously. "Yeah, that'd be great! No offense, but I'm getting a little stir crazy here. I gotta get out and stretch my wings..." She then trailed off, her expression darkening. "Ugh...I miss flying already..."
I nudged her with a smile. "Just because you can't fly doesn't mean you can't still be one of the best athletes out there, Dash. There's so many things for you to do in this world, you'll never be bored. That much I can guarantee."
She nodded and after cleaning up, we headed into town.
Our first stop when we reached town was a convenient beachwear shop. I would have to take her shopping at some point to get some real clothes for her, but since we were on the beach, this would do for now. No surprise, she turned her nose up at the bikini. Instead, she settled for a tight-fitting pair of blue and gold shorts with sports-style blue tank top. After paying and heading to a changing room near the beach so she could change, we headed towards the nearby shoe store. She fell in love with a pair of rainbow skater shoes, so I grabbed them for her along with a pair of flip flops. As she put her new shoes on and smiled, I couldn't help but crack a smile as well. It was great to see her smile, and I hoped I could get her to do it more and more.
I then placed a hand on her shoulder to get her attention, and she looked up at me. "Okay Dash, we're gonna head over to my shop. I want to show you what I do, and I think some of my friends would like to meet you. However, we do have a bit of a problem..."
She looked at me confused. "What problem?"
"Well, we're going to need a name for you to go by when you're in public. Rainbow hair is easily passable around here. A name like Rainbow Dash...not so much." I placed a hand to my chin and thought for a moment. "Well, how about Rosabela? It starts with the same letter your name does...and I think it suits you."
She shrugged. "Sounds good to me. What does it mean?"
I grinned and winked at her. "It means 'beautiful rose' in Italian, which is a different language from what we’re speaking now."
She blushed furiously, but smiled. "W-well...thanks Koa. That's really nice of you."
"No problem, Dash. Alright, let's head over to my shop. Follow me." I said with a smirk, noticing she was still blushing.
We reached the shop ten or so minutes later to find the place luckily pretty dead, with it only being the early afternoon. The first one to notice us was Lily, the youngest of us. She reminded me a lot of Vinyl Scratch from MLP, and she even shared her love of music. I had a feeling her and Dash were going to be great friends.
Lily eyed Dash with a smile and giggled. "Wow...wicked hair." She then looked at me and winked. "Nice pick, Koa. It's about time."
Dash blushed and I just chuckled. "It's not like that, Lily. She's a friend from...out of town."
Lily smirked but nodded, ogling Dash's toned figure. "Mmm...and quite the friend she is..."
"Hey easy, easy!" I said quickly, eliciting a giggle from Lily.
She walked over to Dash and slugged her softly in the shoulder. "Oh c'mon, girl. I'm just messin' with ya. I don't swing that way anyway."
"Y-yeah, you got me good. Umm...I'm Rosabela." Dash said with a smile, raising a hand to shake.
Lily took her hand and shook it firmly. "Name's Lily. Nice to meet you, Rosabela."
"You remind me a lot of someone I knew back where I come from. She was really cool." Dash said, smiling at her new friend.
Lily grinned and giggled. "Well, I'll take that as a compliment."
For the first time Dash seemed to notice all our tattoos. "A-are those..." I interrupted her by a shake of the head, and she fell silent.
"I'll explain later, Rosa." I answered with a soft smile.
Lily looked utterly confused. "Explain what? What's going on?"
"It's personal, Lil. Sorry." I stated plainly.
She just shrugged and walked towards the back. Dash then walked over to me, and I had a feeling I knew what she was going to ask.
She ran her fingers over some of the tattoos on my arms and her face scrunched up in thought. "So what are they then?"
"They're called tattoos. They're not magical in nature at all. It's just ink put into the skin by needles," I explained, and she recoiled a bit at the mention of needles, "and unlike cutie marks, you can get them anywhere and they can be whatever you want."
She sighed. "They're really cool. If it weren't for the whole needles part, I would totally get some."
"Nah, it doesn't feel like a needle much at all. It just feels like someone's dragging their fingernails across your skin hard. Unless of course it hits a sensitive spot on the skin. Then it hurts...but I think it's worth it." I marveled at my body art and smiled. "I love mine. You might change your mind one day. I mean, I used to be afraid of needles for the longest time."
She looked up at me with wide eyes. "Really?"
I nodded. "Yeah. At the mention of needles in a doctor's office, I used to run away."
She giggled. "Yeah, I did that a few times. Well, flew, actually."
We had a long laugh and spent the next few hours talking with Lily. As expected, Dash and her blended really nicely, and I was glad she had found a friend other than me.
I noticed the sun was starting to touch the horizon, so I got up and grabbed the shopping bags before turning to Dash. "Alright Rosa, it's about time to head back. You ready?"
She turned to me and smiled. "Mmhmm." She turned back to Lily and slugged her playfully. "See ya later, woman."
Lily giggled and returned the gesture. "You better, Rosa."
After waving goodbye to Lily, we both headed outside and back to the house.
We got home later than I expected, as I made sure to stop by a small clothing store that sold things other than beach wear. I had Dash grab a few outfits for herself, as well as underwear and socks (after explaining the reasons for wearing them). When we finally got home, night was well on its way as the last light of day died on the horizon. The moon was still mostly full tonight, so thankfully it was still rather bright outside. As my stomach started to grumble at me, I felt bad because I had forgotten about meals. I would be fine, but Dash hadn't eaten in almost two days. Not wishing to try and ease her into meat tonight, I instead fixed her a bowl of vegetable soup with toast. She ate it in earnest while I simply ate some buttered toast, and she thanked me afterwards.
As we got ready for bed, I found myself smiling the whole time. The beginning of today had started out a little sad, and kind of weird...but now I was closer with Dash than I had been before...and I felt that I could finally be okay with letting my feelings for Kayla rest. I climbed into bed and lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling. My mind was blank as I just traced my eyes along different shapes I saw in the paint of the ceiling, until I heard a soft knock at my door.
"Koa? I know you told me it was only for one night...but would you mind if I slept in here?" Dash said, twiddling her thumbs nervously.
I smiled and scooted over, patting the empty spot in bed next to me. She ran and jumped in the spot as a young child would, and I couldn't help but let my lips curl into a smile. To think that just a day ago, I was dreaming on a beach of playing with a certain cyan pegasus...and now she was laying next to me in human form. Can you say best day ever? I'm sure if I told Mike about this situation right now, he'd just be asking if I'd "hit that" yet. In all honesty, I wasn't even thinking about that. Dash was amazing, but I just liked having her around me. I wasn't ready for any sort of relationship with much of anyone, and I had a feeling she felt the same way. Still...it was nice to have someone to have next to me, even if it might only be temporary. I could tell Dash felt the same as she again wrapped her arms around my right arm and literally wrapped her entire body - legs and all - around me.
I was unfamiliar with pony sleep etiquette, but apparently this would be considered normal, because she didn't seem the least bit uncomfortable about it. Sure, the human rationale in my mind told me that this was dangerously close to "playtime", but if she didn't see it that way, I wasn't going to allow myself to. She was definitely still adjusting to this world, and so she still needs to know that she is safe, and that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. So, ever so gently, I lifted my arm out of her grasp and instead wrapped it around her.
She fell asleep almost instantly, and I felt myself following soon afterwards.