My Not so Little Wrecker

by Emperor of Jurai

Chapter 4: Making First Impressions

Apple Jack had been so sure she was in the right when she did what she did and so were the others since as soon as Pinkie explained to them she had another one of her doozies like the time when they had to deal with a Hydra. Well let’s just say that they were not willing to risk having to run for their lives again just because they wanted to question Pinkie’s odd ability, and it did help that such an event did not happen too long ago so the lessons learned that day were still very fresh in their minds. As such since the last time the doozy happened it was near the Everfree forest they figured they would check on Fluttershy first just to be safe, even if in the back of their minds they did have to wonder why they were unable to find their friend Rainbow Dash during their gathering since normally Pinkie could ALWAYS find that mare no matter what.

Regardless upon arrival at Fluttershy’s cottage and learning the butter colored mare wasn’t there they were on high alert and very worried, but they did have a saving grace of Angel bunny being able to tell them where she went with many gestures from him and a lot of guessing from the girls. This was why they knew which way to go and was the reason why as they rushed to the Everfree forest they saw Ralph and Rainbow Dash Play fighting after his gay comment. But from their perspective it looked like a giant weird bear/diamond dog thing had found Fluttershy and was about to attack her only for Dash to get in over her head again and try to fight the thing instead of grabbing their skittish friend and making a run for it to get help.

This was why upon seeing their friend in apparent trouble Applejack had bucked her favorite red fruit into the varmint’s face, knocked him over, and then went about hogtying it to help keep her friends safe from it. Once done she and the girls were so sure they were going to get a thank you of SOME sort but instead of that all they heard was.

“Applejack, what the hay?!” cried out Rainbow Dash before she quickly placed herself between her apple loving friend and Ralph to make sure the cowpony doesn’t try to get in another hit on the guy.

“What do ya mean ‘what the hay’ Ah was helpin’ ya!” yelled back Applejack at this turn of events as her own temper was flaring a bit at Rainbow Dash taking such a tone with her. Her friend’s expression not helping the matter since she was on the receiving end of a scowl and slightly angry stare that she was matching with her own.

Seeing this Rarity knew she needed to get involved before those girls start tearing into each other either with words or with their own hooves and asked with a calm tone “Darling you need to calm down, why are you so upset with us?”

“Because you just clobbered Ralph with an apple, knocked him over, and tied him up!” was of course the element of Loyalty’s response as she was still upset since while she wasn’t tight with Ralph she didn’t think the guy deserved to have all that stuff happen to him at once. She was sure that only one or two of the things were needed…

Obviously hearing this response confused the girls but the first one to recover from it was Twilight as she then had a perplexed expression for another reason and had to voice the question in most likely everypony’s mind by asking “…Rainbow Dash are you saying this creature got a name and you know it?”

Hearing such a question just made Dash wonder if some of her friends were as smart as they say they are but eh like she can understand what makes these mares tick at times. All she cared about was hanging out with them, being friends with them, and making sure they were safe and happy so she simply said with an exasperated tone “Well ya I mean Ralph is a bit weird but he is pretty cool…for whatever he is.”

“So…yer tellin’ me yall weren’t in any trouble at all…?” asked Applejack with an uncertain tone that hinted slightly at the guilt behind the comment since if the answer was yes then she just roughed up somepony for no reason what so ever.

“Pff no Ralph and I were just messing around.” replied Rainbow Dash with a roll of her eyes before turning her attention toward the downed Wrecker and saw him peeking at her from between his fingers with an annoyed expression. As this happened though Fluttershy was currently fretting over the ‘Bad Guy’ and trying to help him get untied while Pinkie was too busy scrunching up her face in thought over what kind of party to throw from ‘Yay we made a new friend and welcome to Ponyville’ party all the way to ‘We just found an alien and it wasn’t scary at all’ party.

Ralph though had had enough of this and with little effort began to move his limbs slowly but surely as to avoid just suddenly snapping his limbs outward and knocking somepony flying or really hurting them by accident. The sound of the fibers in the rope snapping one by one catching the attention of the girls and thankfully getting Fluttershy to move away from him, their eyes glued to him as he then used just a little more strength to finally reduce the rope to nothing but frayed pieces of fiber that laid on or around his body. With that done he began to stand back up to his full height and dust himself off of the rope bits as well as any dirt, smashed apple pieces, or grass that was stuck to his clothes or himself. Once that was done he then focused his eyes upon his now once again very red and very swollen nose for about ten seconds.

Then his eyes quickly locked onto Applejack, who had the good graces to look sheepish and rather sorry for what she did, in accusation as a deep scowl formed on his face before he said in a tense tone “Are you ponies aiming for my nose by accident or do you have something against it, because I’m getting really tired of being hit there. First skittles here socks me in the nose back inside that weird forest and now I get it used to help make applesauce the hard way…what is up with that?”

As Ralph talked the girls were still in a state of shock that he had so easily broken out of the rope he was tied up in, well all the girls besides Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy since they already seen how strong he is when he pounded solid earth flat as a pancake without any effort. But still the four mares could tell how upset he was and were now looking varying shades of guilt since while it was Applejack who hit him and did all the work, they were the ones who didn’t try to stop her and were even mentally agreeing with the actions toward Ralph so they were guilty as well. But then something sort of clicked in their minds and…

“Uhhh why are you girls looking at me like that?” asked Dash with a quirked brow as she noticed that AJ, Pinkie, Rarity, and Twilight were staring at her questioningly for some reason, the element of loyalty pretty confused at first before she realized why they were looking at her like that and blushed in that oh so adorable way she tends to do so.

“Ugh! Okay ya I hit him on the nose too but it was his fault!” cried out Rainbow Dash as she tried to shift the blame off her, her right hoof pointing at the apparently ‘guilty’ Ralph.

Of course he bristled a bit at that accusation and was soon giving an unhappy stare toward the one who was beginning to be his new personal pain in the neck before yelling “How in the heck is it my fault?! I’m the victim here, it not like I said ‘Hey crazy flying pony who’s mane is an obvious dye job, by all means please hit my nose as hard as you can.’ Sorry but I don’t like pain you know, even if my job makes me get beat up a lot.”

After that it just turned into one of the standard little squabbles between the two as Rainbow Dash and Ralph began to butt heads together and glare into one another’s eyes with obvious discontent but never true hate. The sight of this making the girls realize for sure that Ralph wasn’t a threat since if Dash can spat with him like she does with Applejack then he must be okay to a fair degree, and besides they could see that Fluttershy wasn’t going to stop them so it must be okay to leave them at it. They did however focus upon the little butter colored mare who shrunk back a bit at all the attention.

“Fluttershy darling, since Rainbow Dash is obviously busy with…Mr. Ralph could you explain things to us? We are quite confused you see…” was Rarity’s ever so eloquent statement as she only cast a passing glance toward Ralph as she said that before giving a demure smile to her friend.

Of course everypony’s favorite farm mare had a different way of voicing her desire to learn as she said “Quite don’t really cover it Rarity, Ah don’t understand a thing about what is goin’ on around here. Would right appreciate it if ya help set some facts straight sugarcube.”

After that it wasn’t long before Pinkie Pie was right up in Fluttershy’s personal space and said “Yep a roonie I wanna know how the big alien got here too. Oh oh did he come in some really big spaceship covered with weird lights, and did he say ‘Take me to your leader.’? Well did he huh huh?!”

“PINKIE! Stop that you are making Fluttershy nervous.” Said Twilight as her purple magical aura wrapped around the party pony and pulled her away from a very relieved shy mare before saying “Now then please tell us what happened, I mean this could be the greatest discovery in history and I need to send the Princesses a very detailed report on this.”

“O-oh well um…it wasn’t much really. I was out feeding my little animal friends their breakfast when Mr. Blue Jay came to me while in the middle of feeding Mr. Turtle some lettuce. He then told me that there was a new weird creature in the Everfree Forest and that it was hurt, and umm…you know how I can’t just ignore a poor creature being hurt. “ Said Fluttershy as she slightly peeked from behind her mane toward her friends, all the attention making her shyer than usual.

“Oh of course Darling I understand fully.”
“Yep that sounds just like ya sugarcube.”
“Well duh you would do that Fluttershy, you are like the nicest pony I know silly!”
“I agree it is always in your nature to help others, we understand but please go on tell us more.”

Was the collective response of the group as they were more than familiar with the mare’s caring nature that made her such a perfect match for the Element of Kindness and such a wonderful friend and pony…even if it can be a bit of a hassle when the need for more strict methods is hindered by that very same nature. Either way upon seeing her friends were following so far and didn’t seem bothered by her words the skittish mare was starting to feel calmer and less nervous, though it might also be due in part by the fact she could hear Ralph and Dash bicker quite clearly and it caused her to gain a small smile at it since it meant poor Mr. Ralph was at least making a friend out of Rainbow Dash. She took a small nearly impossible to hear breath before diving right back into the explanation of what happened after the point she stopped at.

Her retelling her four friends of how she found Ralph out cold and fairly banged up, how she learned his name and vice versa, the unfortunate misunderstanding that caused Dash to hit Ralph followed by the bickering that happened afterwards, how he is apparently not from this world and is very worried about his friends back home and his great desire to get back to them as soon as possible, and even if it made her feel a bit embarrassed she told them of him carrying her till they came out of the Everfree forest and ended up in this current situation. When she was done the reactions were far and wide as Applejack was hiding her face behind her hat out of guilt for harming the poor fella after he been through so much, Rarity looking a bit shocked that Fluttershy allowed Ralph to carry her though the fashionable mare did wonder what it would be like, Twilight herself torn between her deep curiosity and her mental search through her mind of any spells that could help the guy, and then there was Pinkie Pie who was busy giggling and snorting as she found the recounting of what Ralph and Dash did was pretty funny as well as what the two were doing right now as they all talked.

“Umm…I hope that Rainbow Dash’s and my choice to bring him with us to Ponyville was okay…I’m sorry if it wasn’t.” came Fluttershy’s soft reply as she was worried that the looks she saw on her friends implied they didn’t like what she said. This of course quickly made the four mares promptly assure the caring pegasus that it was perfectly alright and they felt she did the right thing helping someone like Ralph.

“But now I don’t really know what we are going to do about him…I mean you said he was a bad guy right?”
“Oh yes but Mr. Ralph isn’t bad at all though Twilight…he said it just a job he has back home. Like he said…just because he is a ‘Bad Guy’ doesn’t mean he is a bad guy…oh dear that does sounds confusing doesn’t it?”
“Hmm only a small amount as apparently the first use of bad guy is a title while the second is a description of his personality, a clever use of words that is slightly funny sounding if one thinks about it-“

Of course by then the girls have figured out that they lost Twilight as she started to go off on a tangent of sorts and for now left the studious mare to it. The four mares taking time to only slightly tune her out with Rarity taking center stage as Applejack was busy working out a good way to apologize to Ralph, and Pinkie was too busy sitting and watching Rainbow Dash and Ralph argue while eating a box of popcorn she…somehow acquired at some point while no one was looking apparently.

Filing that sight away in the ever growing section of her mind for ‘Pinkie being Pinkie’ Rarity then said “Now then Darling I am to guess Mr. Ralph is…an actor of sorts then? I mean if he is nice then he is only playing the part of a ‘Bad Guy’ as you will yes?” Upon seeing a small nod from her friend Rarity turned her head to look at Ralph and gained a slightly confused expression at seeing Dash had started to tickle the man with her wings, much to the apparent dismay of the Wrecker as he tried to get her away from places that were ticklish it seems only to become even more distressed when Pinkie Pie joined the fray to double team him.

She of course hid a small giggle behind a hoof at the sight of such a big and obviously strong creature being laid low by tickles of all things, it made her feel even all the more silly for believing he was trying to harm anyone. She then said “Anyway darling there is one thing I am slightly worried about…however will we be able to explain this to everypony in Ponyville? As much as I love the place you do have to admit that they are...slightly easy to send into a panic, and I am quite sure seeing a big fellow such as Mr. Ralph will be more than enough to gain such an reaction from them. Not to mention the fashion disaster he is wearing…”

Now for the other Elements of Harmony hearing such a thing from Rarity was rather common and only gained a slight roll of the eyes from most at the fact she seemed to think Ralph’s outfit was the most important part of her statement. But Ralph didn’t know such things and found what she said a bit insulting and used the fact that he wasn’t under attack to make his displeasure of that statement known by standing up and saying with a slight annoyed tone “Hey what do you mean fashion disaster? I like this outfit; this is my signature look back home. I mean sure I wore a tux for Felix’s wedding but besides that I always wear this.”

Now hearing that Ralph wore such a dreadful outfit nearly twenty four seven caused a few gears to strip their teeth in Rarity’s mind, the poor mare unable to contemplate wearing the same outfit day in and day out let alone one that was obviously not in style. She quickly placed one leg over her forehead and swooned a bit before falling backwards and fainting, yet instead of landing on the grass she had inexplicably procured a plush cushion to lay upon in an overly dramatic fashion. Every single person and pony there just rolling their eyes a bit at the sight while Ralph even went so far as to move a hand over his face and shake his head in disbelief at what he saw for these ponies were just plain nuts in his mind.

After that he simply turned to look at the other five mares while casually gesturing toward the white unicorn with one hand before asking “Is she always like this?”

“As mah big brother would say…’Eeyep’, sorry Sugarcube it just Rarity being a drama queen again. Ah hope ya won’t take what she said to heart.” Applejack replied while the others gave nods of agreement in regards to her statement about their overly dramatic friend.

Ralph of course just figured it didn’t matter if Rarity was going to make some negative comments about his clothing as he had bigger things to worry about than a fashion critic. As such he just shook his head a bit before he then began to tap the ground with his left foot in impatience while asking “Ya ya don’t worry about it but are we going to get a move on now? I don’t want to be away from my home longer than I have to for obvious reasons, and I’m also pretty sure you ponies wouldn’t mind having me out of your hai-…manes as soon as possible too.”

“But you’re not in our manes silly billy you are standing right there, but now we gotta get back to Ponyville so I can throw you a party! Oh it going to be so fun, wecanplaypinthetailontheponyandbobbingforapplesandsinganddance!” was the veritable avalanche of words that spewed forth from Pinkie’s mouth at speeds that made Ralph’s head hurt, she was already going on about other things too which only made the headache worse. As such before any of the other girls had a chance to shove a hoof in her mouth he reached down and placed one finger on her lips and used it to stem the river of words that were heading at him.

“OKAY…enough of that, now can you talk slo-…Why are you sucking on my finger?!” cried out Ralph in alarm as it just felt weird to have that mare doing that and quickly tried to jerk his finger away from the crazy pink mare, the meaty digit coming out of her mouth with an audible pop and coated in hearty helping of saliva. Ralph quickly moved to wipe the stuff off on the grass or anything that would work to get it off, all the while hearing Rainbow Dash was laughing loudly and kicking her hooves in the air at how silly Pinkie Pie was being and how she got Ralph to react.

“You taste kinda funny Ralphy!”
“Glad to hear that, just means you won’t try to eat me or something…”
“Are you loco in the coco Ralphy? Ponies don’t eat meat or anything like that.”
“…Stop calling me Ralphy!”
“Oh Oh I could call you Walphy or oh I know I can call you Mr. Fist if you want!”
“…Gahhh no to both! Can’t you call me just Ralph?”
“Okie dokie lokie then ‘Just Ralph’!”

“…Fine you can call me Ralphy, now please can we just get to this Ponyville place!?” Cried out Ralph in obvious annoyance while the others just watched the two in a mix of amusement and pity as poor Ralph had no idea what he was getting mixed up with when dealing with Pinkie Pie. Ralph himself just placing a hand over his face as if to ward off an oncoming headache as Pinkie made use of his permission to her fullest…and he knew that this mare was crazier than Turbo though thankfully in the silly fun way and not the insane jealous controlling way.

As he pondered such things though Twilight had been figuring out how best to help their newest friend and figured for now it would be best to get him to her Library so that she could look through her tomes to see if one of them held the answer they needed. Soon enough she figured that it would be best to just teleport him and herself to the library while the others walk back. Sure it would wear her out a bit but considering Ralph’s size and the fact turning him invisible wouldn’t make it where ponies couldn’t bump into him it seemed like the better option. As such she soon turned to face the ‘Bad Guy’ and spoke up.

“Okay girls I got an idea how we can help him, I will take him with me to the library with a teleportation spell, that way he won’t have to go through the town and risk scaring everypony.”
“Umm…Twi are ya sure that is a good idea? Ah mean Ralph is a pretty big feller, yer sure ya can handle teleportin’ him?”
“Well...I admit it will be pretty exhausting but other than that the only thing we could do is make him invisible and…well no offense to you Ralph but I doubt you could walk through a town full of ponies without tripping or bumping into somepony.”
“Eh none taken, I’m with you sister I don’t think I could do it either. Heck I have to watch out for bumping into stuff or people even when they clear out of the way for me, if these ponies can’t even see me then I’m sure I’ll end up tasting dirt again sooner or later. But…uh…one question.”

Ralph paused for the moment to stare at Twilight in concern as she gave him a nod to continue speaking and as such he asked “…Did you say…Teleportation spell?”

“Yep yep she did Ralphy! Twilight is able to use a spell to make her disappear in a flash of light and stuff! It all like fizzssstttt BAMP then she pops up somewhere else! It really cool and I think only Twilight and a few others can do that super flashy cool spell thingy...OH oh oh! I wish I could do that then I could throw the bestest best surprise parties ever!”

Of course the very thought of Pinkie Pie caused everypony as well as Ralph to shudder at the mere prospect of such things and caused all to be grateful that Pinkie was simply an Earth Pony…though the mare seems to bend the rules on what an Earth Pony can do most times. But still Ralph was a bit familiar with the whole idea now as he been around enough and ran into a few game characters that do that, and as such he soon said with a smirk.

“Oh okay guess it kinda like that one creepy hero guy I ran into once…ugh what was his name…OH Nightcrawler or something. Huh wonder how he would react that a little purple unicorn can do what he does...”

“I don’t know who this Nightcrawler is but does that mean you are okay with the idea Ralph?”
“Ya ya sure let’s just get this over with.”
“Okay then just stay still as I get the spell ready.”

Came Twilight’s calm reply before her horn began to glow brilliantly with her purple magical aura as Ralph started to feel a tingly sensation all over his body from the magical energy building up around him. But a discomforting sight greeted him as he watched Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and even Pinkie Pie back away from him and Twilight with looks of apprehension on their faces as even the party pony knew to not get too close to one of Twilight’s bigger spells.

“Why are they backing away from us like that? I mean you done this a lot right…?”
“Ugh…this actually is the second time I teleported with somepony else, but don’t worry I did the calculations in my head we should be fine…probably.”
“WAIT WHAT!? NONONONO STO-“

Ralph’s cry of alarm and his attempt to quickly scramble away from Twilight was cut off when the studious mare’s spell was completed and the two disappeared in a blinding flash of light with a loud BAMP as well. The ground where they stood slightly burnt and smelling of ozone oddly enough and causing the five other mares to look at each other in varying amounts of concern before Rarity broke the silence.

“Fluttershy darling…”
“…Umm…yes Rarity?”
“Be a dear and fetch your first aid kit, I do believe poor Mr. Ralph might be needing it by the time we catch up to him and Twilight.”
“…Oh my…”

Was the last thing Fluttershy said before making her way back to her home to grab her medical kit as she had a feeling that Rarity would be right, if anything she believed her new friend might have a few burns on him at the very least and that made her worry greatly. As she was busy dealing with that the other four mares looked to each…

“Hey where did Pinkie go? Uuugghhh that crazy pony must have ran off to make Ralph a welcome party…”

Correction the three mares looked to each other before nodding their heads and breaking off as Rarity opted to stay and wait for Fluttershy to return before walking with the shy mare to the library, Applejack herself was going directly to where Ralph and Twilight was to make sure things were okay and to get in an apology before things got crowded again, and lastly Rainbow Dash was left with the most difficult job of all…convincing Pinkie Pie to keep things under wraps about Ralph. A task that required getting the party mare to understand that a big welcome to Ponyville party is the exact OPPOSITE of what they need at the moment.

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While all this was going on a certain purple scaled dragon was enjoying a simple day in the library and looking forward toward the fact his chores for the day were nearly done. All he had to do now was dust the books and then he was free for the day and could go outside and do whatever he wants…that or just get into his bed and sleep the day away until dinner time. At least that was the plan before a brilliant flash of purple light flared up behind him that was soon followed by a BAMP and a THUMP. But oddly enough another sound was filling the air and it sounded like…

“Uuuuggghhhh…”

That sound sent a chill down Spike’s spines as it was far too deep and loud to be Twilight or any of her friends and as such he slowly turned to see what it was that had appeared behind him. Turning fully around he was face to face with a creature that easily dwarfed the baby dragon and was huge enough he knew it could easily crush him like a bug, but more so it was covered in black spots and smelled of burnt hair, fabric, and other unpleasant things. By now Spike was fearfully clutching to his chest his trusty feather duster as he looked upon the giant before him…his body on the razor’s edge between complete panic and mind numbing fear.

Ralph by now had gathered enough of his wits to shake his head a bit to help brush off the disorientation that came with just poofing from one place to another, and more so to get rid of any soot that was clinging to his body. But after doing so he took notice of Spike staring him down and said “…Uhh…Hey?”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Spike at the top of his lungs before he slammed his eyes shut and threw his feather duster at the monster like a javelin of sorts.

Which for some reason was able to slam right into Ralph’s heavily abused nose, the tender and now slightly burnt flesh so sensitive that the light impact of the cleaning instrument caused the ‘Bad Guy’ to stumble backwards while holding his face as he yelled “AUGH?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE NOSE?!?!”