//------------------------------// // Despair // Story: Screwball // by Psyga315 //------------------------------// I ran. As far from Ponyville as I could. Tom was right. I didn’t belong. I was crying. Thinking to myself, “How can I ever fit in!?” I began to think back to the events building up to this moment of despair. I remembered it all happening the day after Nightmare Night. ---- When I woke up, the first thing I tried to do was try and find that pony who claimed that she was gray. I would have tried Rarity, but I feared that she’d overreact like last night. However, just as I was about to exit, Caramel stopped me. “Hey, Screwball, I thought I’d let you know that I’m heading out to help the Apples set up for the Sisterhooves Social. You wanna come?” He asked. “Nah. I have something to check.” I said to him. “Ah. More of that soul-searching... Well, hopefully you’ll find what you’re looking for.” Caramel said as he headed out. I headed out to, but we both went our separate ways. ---- To be honest, I didn’t know where to look for that pony. The only clue I had was that her coat was pinkish. How would I know if I picked the right one? I guess going by the logic of finding the first pony I see that matches the color wasn’t it, but I went with it anyways. I found a pony just walking outside of a store, thanking the shopkeeper. She had a messy purple mane and a somewhat lighter purple coat. At the time, I thought this was the pony I saw last night. How I ever mistook her for the real pony was anypony’s guess. Maybe it was the lighting. “Hey!” I said to her. “Oh, hello.” The pony said to me. “Look, I need to ask you something.” I told her. “Can it wait? I need to do something first.” She said. “Okay. You mind if I follow you then?” I asked her. “Sure, why not?” She said, trotting towards some place I never heard of. ---- We arrived at a farm, where the purple pony soon dashed to the big red barn. I followed her. There was an orange pony with a long yellow mane and a cowboy hat who greeted the pony. “Howdy, Berry Punch. Signin’ up for this year’s Sisterhooves Social?” She asked the purple pony. “Yeah. I have a strong feeling me and Piña Colada will win.” Berry Punch said. The orange pony then showed her a form to sign on. She then looked at me. “And who’s that over there?” She asked Berry Punch. “Oh... This is...” She said as she finished signing onto the sheet. “Uh... I didn’t get your name.” She said. “Oh, it’s S-“ I said, before I finished my name, I heard someone. “Screwball!” I looked across as I saw Caramel carrying a banner on his back. He tripped and the banner fell off him, rolling out. Caramel then got back up. “I’ve seen you made a new friend.” Caramel said. “Well, it’s not what it looks like...” I said, but before I could say anything else, the cowboy pony spoke up. “Caramel, ya klutz! Can ya try not to trip up?” She said to him. “Sure thing, Applejack.” Caramel said with quick haste as he began to roll up the banner and place it on his back. “I’ll see you later, Screwball!” Caramel said, walking away to put up the banner. I then looked at Applejack. I recognized her from somewhere... but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Suddenly, another pony came along. She had poofy orange hair and a yellow mane. “Oh. Hello there, Berry Punch.” She said. “Oh. It’s you. Golden Harvest.” Berry Punch said. “It’s Carrot Top. See?” She said as she showed Berry Punch her Cutie Mark. “Joinin’ the Social?” Applejack asked. Carrot Top nodded and went to the signup sheet. “Yeah. And Me and Piña are gonna whip your flank!” Berry Punch said. “In your dreams!” Carrot Top said. “Gals! Gals! Settle down! Save the banter for the Social!” Applejack said. “Yeah. Applejack’s right. Say, Screwball, you joining the Sisterhooves Social?” Berry Punch asked. “Uh... No, I’m not... I don’t even know what it is.” I said to her. “It’s this event where sisters go into teams and compete.” Applejack said. “Oh... Well, I don’t have a sister, so...” I said. I was gonna finish it off by asking Berry Punch the question, but she beat me to it. “Say, Screwball, would you like to come and cheer for me?” She said. “Uh...” I was stumped. Eventually I agreed to come on that day when the Sisterhooves Social would happen. ---- “IDIOT!” I said to myself as I ran some more. I clearly didn’t know where I was going, being wrapped in the memories of what happened the last week or so. I tried to remember more events, but the more tragic ones outshined the more trivial ones. The only thing I remembered about the race was that Berry Punch won. At that time, I forgot the question all together. For some reason, I stuck to Berry Punch. Caramel seemed to like the idea of me making a friend, so I went with it. Not a lot of interesting things happened, save for a small incident where the whole town closed up shop because one pony apparently had something called “The Cutie Pox”. It was a bunch of hype. No one got sick and the infected pony got cured instantly. I soon recalled my party. That was the next step to my despair. ---- “Come on, it will be great!” Caramel told me as we went to Sugarcube Corner. “I don’t know. I still don’t feel like it.” I said. But it was too late, we were already in the shop where a crowd of ponies were expecting us... Well... me. “Screwball! There you finally are!” Berry Punch said as she galloped to me. I kind of smiled, since I just remembered the question I meant to ask her. She then dragged me to the punch bowl. “You have got to try this!” Berry Punch said as she grabbed the ladle full of punch with her mouth and putting it close to mine. I sipped a bit, just to have her put the ladle away so I can ask the question. She did, but spoke up first. “So, did you like it?” She asked. “Yeah... I did... Uh, if I may ask you a question...” I said. She nodded. This was my chance. “You said sometime before that you used to be... gray. How... how did you managed to... not be gray?” I asked her. She had a puzzled look on her face. It was at this moment I realized that I’ve picked the wrong pony. I’ve made friends with the wrong pony. Soon I heard someone. “Silly Screwball, I was the one who became gray!” I recognized that voice. From yesterday. I turned around and I saw her. The pony Octavia disliked so much. Pinkie Pie. In either case, I wanted to take this chance. “Excuse me for a second, Berry, I have to find out something.” I said to her. I then dragged Pinkie Pie with me to another room. Thankfully, no one else was in there. “Okay, tell me. How did you stop being gray?” I asked her. She paused for a bit then began to speak. “Well... It’s a really long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long story, so I’ll just give you the end result: My bestest-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world Twilight cured the grayness!” She said. Finally, an answer. I went to Pinkie Pie and rubbed my head against hers. “Thank you!” I said. I soon stopped my moment of cheer to look at her. “So... can this Twilight cure my grayness too?” I asked her. “Hm... I don’t know... you can try if you want! But first, you have to enjoy the rest of your party!” Pinkie Pie said as she exited the room. I followed her out of the room too. ---- “HOW COULD I BE THAT STUPID!?” I said. By now, I was somewhere far from Ponyville. I was somewhere near the mountains. But one last memory began to surface. My most recent one. ---- A few hours after the party, I got an opportunity to visit the library. Pinkie Pie told me that Twilight lived there. I thought that all my troubles would be over. Well, that’s until I headed inside. I knocked on the door and a small purple dragon opened it. “Uh... Hi. I’m here to talk to... Twilight, was it?” I said to him. “Hey, Twi, there’s someone here wanting to talk to you.” He said. He then let me in. I soon saw her. The purple unicorn that Tom told me about. “Oh. Hello. I... I was sort of expecting you.” The unicorn said, sounding a little unsure of herself. “So... you know why I came?” I asked her. “Well, not exactly. But I’m here to explain any question you have.” She said. “Good. I heard from someone that she was gray once until you showed up and made her... ungray. I want you to do the same to me.” I said to her. She looked away slightly. “...” She gave no answer. “Well? How about it?” I asked again. She sighed. “I... can’t.” She said. Immediately I stomped my hoof. “Why not?” I asked. “Because, even if I used that same spell, it won’t have the same effect.” She said. “What do you mean?” I asked. “The spell I used was a memory spell. It makes the person remember who they were.” Twilight said. I suddenly had an idea. “Wait... Maybe you can restore my memory! That might-” I said, but she interrupted me. “It doesn’t work like that... The ponies I used it on had their minds altered to act like the opposite of themselves. Them being gray was sort of a sign that their minds were altered. But... your case is different.” She said. “How?” I asked her, puzzled. “Well... This is going to be a little confusing... But you’ll understand soon. A short time ago, there was this being... a Draconequus... who attempted to take over Equestria.” Twilight said. I suddenly recalled the statue and the chat with Octavia. “Wait... A Draconequus? I’ve heard of it before. Represented disharmony, right?” I asked her. She nodded. “Yes. He also had a power to warp reality and bend it to his will. For the time he took over, he began to alter the world. He changed many things and just toyed with them. However, he created things too. And some... Ponies.” She said. I was unsure where she was going with this, but I kept my mouth shut. “Screwball... You were one of two ponies that were created by the Draconequus known as Discord. The other being Tom.” She said. She looked down again. “Why... Why are you so... depressed?” I asked her. She looked up, and I saw that she was not ready to tell me. That I was not ready to accept it. “Well... A few friends and I took down Discord and sealed him back into a statue. Something happened during his defeat: a wave of light. It healed everything Discord had altered... but not everything that he created. You and Tom are the only physical remnants of Discord’s reign. The only ponies that... don’t fit in this world.” She said. “... Don’t fit?” I muttered. “You were only born to be crazy. To be foolish. To be as Discord intended. In his world, you’d fit like a glove. But... in this world... You have no purpose. You can still make friends, but... you can never have a true purpose. You can never truly fit in and find your place in the world. You’ll stick out in some way. You’ll always feel like you don’t really belong... I’m... sorry.” She said. I stepped back. I got my answer. But... Did I really like it...? No. “W... why?” I muttered again. I recall my eyelids getting heavy. “I’m very sorry about this. I wish I could fix this but... I... can’t...” She said. “...” I ran out of the library in tears. I heard her asking me to wait, but I didn’t want to. ---- I ran across town, crying. I didn’t care who looked at me. As I ran, one voice called out to me. “Screwball! Wait!” I stopped and turned around to see Caramel. “What... What’s wrong?” He asked me. “I’m... I’ve found out who I am... Nopony. I have no purpose. I have no belonging.” I said. I then stepped forward. “Where are you going?” Caramel asked. “Anywhere far from here! I don’t want to be in a place where I don’t feel welcome!” I said. “But... we had a huge party for you and everything! Didn’t you feel at least welcomed?” Caramel asked. “... Not really... I just wanted to find out about myself... and I did.” I said. I took another step. “Screwball! You do have a belonging! As my friend! As Berry Punch’s friend! As-” He said. “SHUT UP!” I turned around and stared at him. “I don’t care about being friends! What’s the point if you’re just born to be the village idiot?! Never meant to achieve great things?!” I said to him. I could see his pupils shrinking and his lips quivering. I knew I wasn’t making him feel any good with my rant. So I turned and ran. ---- That memory plagued my mind for the past hour or so. Soon, I was finished running. My legs hurt and I feel like I couldn’t stand. I collapsed to the ground and began to sob. I then heard some hoofsteps. I lacked the energy to get up, but I heard the voice all too well. “Hey, this place isn’t safe for a pony like you... Oh... it’s you.” The voice said. “Tom... is that you?” I asked him “Yeah... It’s me...” He said. He then stepped closer to me. “What are you doing here?” I asked him. “I was about to ask you the same.” He said. “You were right... I didn’t belong. I ran away from Ponyville. I don’t know where I am going. What about you?” I asked him. “Well... For the same reasons you ran off. But... I found a place that I belonged.” He said. His words caused something in me. I turned and looked at him. “Huh? What happened?” I asked him. “Well... It’s a long story... I arrived here some time ago, and I lived here for a while. Hiding away in shame. Then one day, while exploring this gorge, I heard a plea for help. I followed the plea and I saw this pony... She had her wing caught beneath a rock and couldn’t get it off. I helped push the rock off her... but she was too hurt to walk. So I carried her on my back. I carried her up to a point where there was a large banner set up and a few other ponies were waiting for me. When I got to the ponies, I saw her. Rarity. She was among the group of friends... I recognized them all as her friends... save for the pony I rescued... They thanked me and the pony I saved asked if I could be within their circle of friends...” He paused for a brief moment, and then spoke up. “I... refused.” He said. “But... You would have been with Rarity... Why pass up that chance?” I asked him. “When I ran away from Ponyville, I accepted that Rarity moved on, and that I should too. Besides, this is my home now. My purpose is now to watch over this gorge and make sure nopony puts their own lives at risk. Like that pony.” Tom said. “But... I thought we had no purpose. We were just made to be toys.” I said. “It’s true. But... In this world, you make your own purpose.” Tom said. Something stirred in me. Inspiration? Maybe. I got up. The pain in my legs slowly faded. I then looked at Tom. “Thanks... I... I will do that.” I said. I was about to leave, but Tom stopped me. “Wait. Take this guy with.” He said as he pushed a small green turtle. I saw the turtle and picked him up with my hoof. “I found him wandering the gorge sometime after rescuing that pony. I think he belonged to one of Rarity’s friends. If you could return this guy to them, that would be great.” Tom said. I smiled and placed the turtle on my back. “Okay... I will...” I said. I then turned around and galloped back to Ponyville. The turtle clung onto my back the entire way. In my mind, the first thing I should do first became clear: return the turtle to his rightful owner.