//------------------------------// // Chapter 8: Anglerfish! // Story: For Science! // by treco89090 //------------------------------// Chapter 8: Anglerfish This chapter actually has nothing to do with anglerfish, it just sounds like a cool title, probably because I was listening to song about anglerfish at the time. ON TO THE STORY!! As Rarity and I went through the Equestrian country side we chatted about things possibly involving anglerfish, but probably not. “So I was in class and we were watching a movie called Finding Nemo and there was an anglerfish.” I said. I lied, this chapter totally talks about anglerfish. “Sounds interesting, except I hate anglerfish.” Rarity said as we got to the wall. “Well, we don’t care anymore, got it? Now we have to get inside” I said when we got about a football fields (That’s one hundred yards) distance away. “Okay, we should totally disguise ourselves as cacti and sneak through that heavily guarded gate.” I said, getting an idea. “Darling, why would we do that?” Rarity asked. … “I feel retarded” Rarity said as I slipped on the last of her cactus costume. “Trust me, it’ll be fine, I do it all the time” I said, adjusting my hat “Granted it never works, but that’s because humans have opposable thumbs so.” So we began to move out, standing on two legs like boss’s, when we approached the guard shouted “Hey, what are you doing?” “Pay no attention to the walking, talking, cacti moving through your gate, that sounds like a euphemism but it’s not” I said “Fine, whatever” he said, obviously not caring, or he was drunk, either way it worked. So we got through, but stayed in outfit to avoid patrols. When we reached Twilight’s library we went through her door to be met with pointed guns. “Um, pay no attention to the walking, cactus” I said since Rarity gave up on the act. “Oh shut up and take that outfit off Alex” Rick said, dropping his gun. “Told you, it doesn't fool humans” I said to Rarity, taking off my hat. “I’m glad you guys are safe, what happened?” Twilight asked hugging Rarity. “Well, things didn't go quite as I hoped, Opp went all Benedict Arnold on us, and apparently the alien scum enjoy executing unarmed POW’s more the n the Soviets.” I said taking off the last of my costume. “What are ‘Soviets’ ?” Twilight asked, obviously not haven’t been educated on 20th century political parties on Earth. “Long story, also I apologize if you are Communist or pseudo communist *Putin* and you are offended by that previous statement.” I said to no one. “Isn't breaking the fourth wall Pinkies job?” Rick asked. “How’d you know that?” I asked in return. “Um, I may have read chapters 1 and 2” He said. “You fucking disgrace! This is almost as bad lying about cake!” I shouted. “How is that disgraceful?” Rick asked, confused. “I don’t know, I just wanted to put a Portal reference in this chapter” I replied. “Look I’m glad you two are enjoying ourselves but we have a war to fight” Rainbow said, interrupting us. “Oh, yeah, let’s continue on that train of thought shall we?” I asked. Everyone agreed. “Okay good, first plan of action, find the princesses.” I said. “Anyone have a plan?” I asked “Yes, Fluttershy.” “We could ask nicely.” She said shyly We all looked at her. “Anyone who isn't a pacifist?” I asked again. “We need Pinkie Pie” Twilight said “But we don’t know where to find her” “Did you try looking in a different prison?” I suggested. “Well we’d have to search them all’ Twilight said “Besides, that will take time. “Hmmm, what about that oddly placed pink building out there that seems to be shooting rebels?’ I asked, pointing out the window. “Well, that was convenient” Rainbow said, looking through binoculars “there she is, firing her party cannon” “Well, lets go” I said turning to leave. That’s when a portal opened and a blue eyed robot flew out. “I’m terribly sorry but what is going on?” He said in an awesome British accent. “Hey, it’s Wheatley!” I said excitedly. “god dang this might as well be a Portal crossover” Rick said. That’s when we heard this over comm “I said that stuff is my job!” Pinkie shouted. “Oh yeah we should probably help her.” I said shooting a portal all the way in the wall of Pinkie’s fort thing and one in the floor. “Seeya Wheatley” I said before jumping through with the others and breaking the portal. “Bloody fucking ponies.” He said before going back to Aperture Science. We arrived inside and there were turrets EVERYWHERE! Not the point, mostly because they were shooting at the rebels outside and not at us. “It’s about time you showed up! Darn things just keep coming” Pinkie said over the comm, we quickly ran up to the top. “Well, this is interesting” I said pulling out my handy-dandy pistol and shooting at the dudes. Just then I got a phone call. My first reaction was “wow, I have reception out here?” My second was “Now why is my friend Juliet calling me in the first place?” (FYI Names have been changed to protect the innocent) “Hello?” I asked picking up ducking down to avoid gunfire. “What the hell is going on over there?” She asked, obviously hearing the rather loud gunfire. “Fighting a war. Make it quick, I’m kinda busy.” I replied, popping up and firing a few shots and dropping back down. “Cool, anyway I need your help so if you could like come by my house at some point in like the next 10 minutes that would be great. Bye” She hung up. “Hey Rick, I gotta go for like 30 seconds, think you can hold the fort without me?” I asked “Yes? Okay bye” I said before he could answer and portaled back to Earth. Back on Earth it was quiet. Too quiet. I mean there were cars and stuff, but no fighting noises. I ran up to her porch and knocked on the door. She answered almost immediately. “Hi, can we make this quick, I’m in a hurry.” I said when she answered. “Um, what’s that?” She asked, pointing to my portal gun. “Portal gun, now, what do you need?” I replied. “Oh right, listen I need you to help me move something.” She said allowing me inside. “What is it?” I asked, walking in. “Oh” I said Looking at the thing in front of me. The thing, being quite massive, was not her mom, believe it or not (SNAP), anyway it was the biggest stack of Oreos I had ever seen in my life. “Do I have to move them, or can I eat them?” I asked, looking away from the gift of God in front of me. “Well not by yourself , no, with me.” She replied. “Um, well give me a minute, I need to tell Rick something.” I said firing a portal at the ground. “Hey Rick” I said popping my head up out of the portal to see them all sitting there utterly exhausted, but no longer under fire “I’m gonna be a little longer then 30 seconds” I said before leaving again. “Alright, let’s eat!” I said grabbing about ten Oreos.