//------------------------------// // Twilight's stress // Story: Letters to Celestia // by Storylover-Vodhr //------------------------------// Dear Princess Celestia; I am truly sorry that I haven’t sent you a letter for the past week, but life has been interesting and, dare I say, difficult. And, as much as I hate to unload on you, you have always been there for me, and you are the only pony I trust completely other than Rainbow Dash. And even then, She is in the same boat as I am, which makes it difficult to confide in her, as she not only already knows, but is suffering from the exact same problems. But enough about my undying trust in you, I should be getting to the point. The first event is a surprisingly simple one. Spike, through some means I do not know of, has acquired a date with a filly by the name of Scootaloo, which he will be using to go with her to her school dance. But, the surprising part is that he already has all the monetary means to support himself with this endeavor, which implicates that he has been preparing this for a long while. He doesn’t get a massive amount of money for his allowance, so he must have been planning this for quite some time. I even did the math. He gets five bits a week, as well as ten bits a month for assisting rarity, and he has amassed around two hundred and fifty bits, meaning he has saved for little over eight months, two weeks. I would count the eight bits I gave him a week and a half ago, but I found a receipt for said eight bits from Sugarcube corner. He apparently even used them to buy cupcakes for Scootaloo, according to Mr. Cake. Either way, this makes it very obvious that he has gotten over his crush on Rarity, and has now gotten a new crush on Scootaloo, one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders that I have told you about previously. This now makes me very worried for him, as he may be harmed by her sometime in the future if things do not work out properly, as there is the possibility for actual romance, rather than a one sided crush. I fully intend on having a very stern talk with her the day before the dance, warning her of what I may do to her if she does intentionally, or possibly unintentionally harms Spike. I may also remind her that I am the element of magic, and I can do a very large amount of very unpleasant things to ponies that harm my little sibling. And I will use that ability if I need to. And that sums up my current feelings on the matter. The second event was a strange one. I was assaulted by a rabid weasel. I do not know why nature holds such ire towards me, but on my latest trip to zecora’s, I was ambushed by a large group of animals, all showing the typical signs of rabies. I, knowing it would be foolish to try and defend myself from a group of diseased animals, ended up outrunning the original group, escaping mainly because they were more concerned with attacking each other than trying to maul a random passerby, but, while I escaped, I was unknowingly trailed by a lone weasel. I ended up making my way to Zecora’s, but before I made my way inside, the creature attacked me with what I assumed to be extreme prejudice, taking a large chunk out of my mane and leaving a very nasty bite on my left flank. I ended up fending the creature off by throwing it as far as I possibly could magically, which is a surprising distance, before making my way into Zecora’s. She immediately helped bandage my wound, and then gave me some terrible news about my newly contracted disease. She told me that it would take a week and a half to make the true cure, and while she can give me some potion to keep the disease from getting a foothold in my central nervous system, the cure would have to be administered through a series of twenty to thirty very painful and very large shots. And I have to be conscious. It’s only been six days, and I’m nearing the point where I’ll flip out near anything pointy. Do you have any advice? Rainbow Dash, who shares my fear of needles, tells me to keep calm and kiss her. But I think it may just be a ploy from her to make out more. And while I do enjoy that, the most ideal time for that isn’t when I am having a supposedly eight inch needle being shoved right above my belly button twenty five times. On another note, I now loathe weasels. And onto my third event. Applejack’s barn has been burning for four days now. It keeps wailing and moaning, and sounds like a bad horror film, and it’s been preventing all of the Apple family from sleeping. I even took them in after Applejack and Big mac, whose personal creed seem to be along the line of “Apple buck till you fall asleep,” stayed awake from three days straight, doing the apple harvest in a record time, simply because the wailing kept them from sleeping. Not only that, but Applebloom somehow got a hundred on a pop quiz that no pony was supposed to even pass, and Granny smith made a hundred and fifty apple pies, the quality ranging from exquisite, to edible, and then all the way down to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash cooks worse than I do. Just warning you, in case she ever offers you a cookie. The worst part is that the spirit of Sombra somehow is in that blaze, and he keeps mumbling about crystals and slaves. And once, I swore he even mentioned something about a precious slinky. No matter what I’ve tried, I cannot extinguish the blaze. The only difference I managed to do was exchange the spirit of Sombra with Discord for a minute, which promptly made a strange song called “Baby” play for an hour straight after he made a one liner about my mother, sung by what sounded like a fourteen year old mare. The song even continued after Sombra returned, and even he experienced displeasure from it, groaning about crystals in an even more grumpy fashion then he did previously. It wasn’t horrible, but it got annoying after five minutes. It then escaladed to Headache inducing after twelve. So, to sum what has happened so far in my letter, Spike is now dating, I have been attacked by a demonic weasel, and my home is now extremely over crowded. Me and Dash now share a bed with Spike, seeing as Applebloom and Applejack now use his. He wasn’t that bad, but Rainbow claims he keeps poking her in the back in the morning with his tail while he’s asleep. I ended up switching sides of the bed with her to keep her from complaining. I wish that was all that was all I had to vent about, but there is a few more small things. Applejack is annoyingly peppy in the morning, waking me, Rainbow Dash, and Spike every morning at 6 A.M for breakfast every day. The gesture is nice and all, But I was in the middle of a really awesome good dream, and I didn’t want to be woken up. Both me and Rainbow usually sleep until ten or eleven, and waking up five hours early isn’t healthy. I don’t normally fall asleep until 2 or 3 in the morning, as I wait for Rainbow, who now has night shift due to cloud dancer getting a broken wing from a fight with an angry saxophone player. And, to compound on my problems, Pinkie Pie, who I still do not understand, decided that when more than five ponies live under the same roof, it is something to party for. So, when I went upstairs with Rainbow Dash for two minutes, trying to help her find her goggles for work, she manages to set up a party with everyone from Ponyville. Rainbow Dash was excused, simply because she had work, but me? I had to stay and party after three hours of sleep, no coffee, because it’s “unnatural,” and grumpy because Spike poked me in the flank with something that was not his tail. He’s only twelve! That shouldn’t even be a problem yet! And, when all was set and done, I end up having to go to the hospital, because Dash, due to lack of sleep, accidentally blew up a storm cloud. She was fine, but it worried me to death, and, along with my forced sugar high, which was caused by the only available drinkable liquid in the house, Pinkie Pie’s spiked punch, I got arrested for public displays of affection. I didn’t even know that was possible! Where are all the police when half of Ponyville is making out in the streets? Is it because we are two mares? And, when we get home after Derpy bailed us out, I found out that Spike is passed out on the chandelier. Which is on the floor. Pinkie Pie is asleep under one of the oldest books in Equestria, using it as a blanket, and Applejack, bless her, is desperately trying to clean the place up with Fluttershy. I swear that this has been the most stressful week I’ve had since Rarity had the idea that it would be great to make all her clothing edible. And I don’t even want to know where all those rabbits came from. And that, Princess, has been my week. Your extremely stressed, but still faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.