//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: King of Chaos // by ProfCharles //------------------------------// “Hello... Celestia.” A warm smile lit up both faces as they looked at each other. “My faithful student.” Celestia’s voice was serene, compassionate and wise—everything Discord’s wasn’t. “How are you today?” There was the slightest hesitation when she said ‘today’, so slight Twilight nearly missed it. “I’m...,” Twilight thought back to her day (or night—ponies stopped keeping track millennia ago)—how Pinkie had woken her up early, how Discord humiliated her, how worthless she felt in court, but most importantly how Pinkie stayed by her side and kept her laughing throughout it. “... okay. You know, same old, same old.” Celestia frowned and pursed her lips, but didn’t comment. “Um, Celestia?” “Yes, Twilight?” The warm smile returned, filling Celestia's face as if there had never been a frown. “In court today,” Twilight began, unsure how to word her thoughts, “somepony told Discord that their neighbor owned a mirror. He sent his griffin guards.” “I am aware of this. Luna is handling it.” Celestia’s expression didn’t change, except for a flickering of her eyes. “Luna...” Twilight breathed in awe. She had never met the Shadowmare, so named because Discord had cursed her with the body of a shadow. She was the weaker and most vulnerable of the two sisters, so she spent most of her time hiding, forging the mirrors Celestia used to contact the outside world from pure moonlight. Twilight always assumed it was Luna who had left her mirror in her room as a filly, but she had never quite plucked up the courage to ask. “Did he–” she began, but a look from Celestia cut her off. “You know I won’t answer that, Twilight,” Celestia rebuked gently. “The less you know, the safer everypony is.” “I know, I know,” Twilight said, sighing as she buried her head into her pillow. “But its just so frustrating. I feel useless. I can’t stop or hinder or even challenge him, I can barely spy on him—I’m either at his feet or trapped in this room, and you always seem to know whatever is happening before I tell you anyway. I’m just...” Twilight sighed again. “Sick of being useless.” Celestia brushed her mane out of her face so she could look at Twilight with both eyes. “Just because a piece has been moved into its proper place, doesn’t mean it’s useless.” Twilight cut her off with an angry wave of her hoof. “Is that all you think of me? A chess piece in a game?” “Twilight.” This time Celestia’s rebuke was hard and stern, causing Twilight to flinch backwards, even though Celestia couldn’t actually do anything to her. “I’m sorry, Celestia,” Twilight said, her whole body dropping with shame. “I’m just frustrated.” “I know, Twilight, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too.” Celestia’s voice returned to its serene state. “Have you reconsidered trying to recruit your friend Pinkie? From what you have said about her, she sounds like a perfect companion for you.” Twilight shook her head. “I don’t want to get her involved with this. This is my burden, and mine alone. Besides, she is rather fond of Discord and his... games.” Celestia sighed. “Very well, Twilight, I will, as always, trust your judgement on this. Now, let us speak of something else. How are your studies going?” Twilight perked up at this—finally, something she was good at. “Very well. I mastered growing magic the other day.” Twilight chuckled to herself. “Discord had me put mustaches on everypony in the castle. Even the mares got mustaches!” She smiled, lost in the memory. That had been one of the good days, where she had felt useful and appreciated. However, she was so wrapped up in the memory that she failed to notice Celestia’s brief frown. “I’m glad to hear that,” Celestia said smoothly, covering up any traces of her displeasure. “Your magic is progressing at a fast pace. I’m going to teach you something a bit harder now. Transformation magic. We’ll start with a simple little spell—apples to oranges.” For the next pygmy goat and a half (Twilight frowned—she didn’t even know that pygmy goats could be used as a measurement of time) the two mares practiced the spell, turning various objects—since Twilight didn’t have any apples in her room—into oranges and back. Just as she was beginning to get used to the spell was when, rather predictably, Pinkie and Spike returned. “We’re back!” Pinkie threw the door open with a crash, jumping at the noise and overbalancing due to the dragon sat on her back, sending the pair crashing to the floor. Twilight used this distraction to hurriedly stuff the mirror back under the pillow, before jumping of the bed. “Spike! Pinkie! Are you two okay?” Twilight asked, helping the two to their feet. “I’m okay!” Pinkie said chipperly. Spike merely groaned. “Spike! What's wrong?” Twilight said, checking him all over for signs of injury. “Too... much... ice... cream...” he wheezed out, clutching his stomach. Twilight unceremoniously dropped him on the floor, before turning to Pinkie with a glare. “Pinkie! I told you to not ruin his appetite! We’re having dinner in a quarter of a gazeebo!” “Sorry Twilight,” Pinkie said, ears drooping and eyes watering. “I just keep on messing up today (or night) don’t I?” Twilight’s expression immediately softened. “Oh, don’t say that Pinkie,” she said, pulling her friend into a hug. “Mistakes happen. I’m sorry for shouting at you. I’m just feeling a little stressed at the moment.” Twilight subconsciously glanced at her bed, causing her to miss the fact that Pinkie also glanced at her bed. “Come, help me put Spike to bed, and then we can go off to dinner together, okay?” “Okay-dokey-lokey!” The two mares tucked the barely conscious dragon into his basket before stepping out of the room. Just before closing the door, Twilight poked her head in, listening to Spike’s gentle snores. Smiling, she softly closed the door, and watched it turn into a bust of Discord’s laughing head. “Which way, Pinkie?” Twilight asked, trying to ignore the chortles coming from the sculpture. Pinkie swiveled on one hoof (don’t ask), before pointing down the corridor. Without another word the two mares began to alternately trot, hop, swim and float down the various hallways, only pausing to allow a school of fish to swim past and to give some quick directions to a couple of lost statues. “Soo...” Pinkie began, breaking the comfortable silence that had developed between them. “Did you have a good nap?” “Huh?” Twilight said, confused, before remembering that she was supposed to have been sleeping. “Oh, not really, I couldn't sleep, so I started to practice a new spell—apples to oranges.” Pinkie bounced around with excitement. “Ooh, that sounds like a good spell—show me!” She pulled out an apple from... somewhere, and held it out to Twilight. “Okay, but I haven't got it perfected yet, and I haven’t used it on an apple either,” Twilight said, lowering her head and pointing it at the unsuspecting apple. “Wait!” Pinkie interrupted, holding up her hoof. “You can cast it on things that aren’t apples? But it’s called apples to oranges!” “It’s a beginners spell, Pinkie,” Twilight explained. “The spell is intended to teach the basics of transformation magic. As such, the name is more of a guideline than a description. Now hold still, I don’t want to hit you with this—I haven’t learnt the counterspell yet.” “Okey-dokey-lokey!” Pinkie said enthusiastically, holding the apple as far away from her as possible. Twilight gathered magical energy to her, her horn glowing with power, before firing a beam of purple light at the apple. Just as a gleaming shield fell from the ceiling, falling between the unicorn and the apple. Bouncing off the reflective surface, the beam shot back at Twilight, striking her in the head before she could move. The shield clanged and bounced off the floor at the same time as Twilight did, collapsing under the shock of the transformation. “Twilight!” Pinkie screeched, rushing over to her friend. “Twilight, are you okay? Come on Twilight, speak to me. Please, speak to me! I WON’T LET YOU DIE ON ME!” “...Pinkie, I’m not dead.” “Oh...” A short awkward silence ensued. “Um, Twilight, are you okay?” “I feel a little woozy after... Ohmygosh, the spell!” Twilight grabbed Pinkie’s head with her forehooves. “Pinkie, tell me... Am I an orange?” “Uh, not really...” Pinkie said, eyes glancing away. “Oh good. Wait, what do you mean, not really?” Twilight asked with worry. Instead of answering, Pinkie lifted a hoof and tapped Twilight’s horn. Or rather, she tapped the orange attached to Twilight's head in place of her horn. Twilights scream of anguish could be heard halfway across the castle. --- Twilight stared glumly at the plate of oranges before her, before slowly lifting a hoof and touching the one on her forehead. Besides her, Discord was laughing uncontrollably, clutching his stomach as incoherent words fighting against booming guffaws. “Oh... Hah hah... That is the funniest thing I have ever seen,” Discord said as his laughs died down, wiping tears from his eyes. “My own Court Mage, turning her horn into an orange. Bah-hah-hah! Classic. Once again, I have to ask who is the Court Jester around here.” He turned to Pinkie. “Watch out my dear, I think this one is after your job!” “Ohh, does that mean I get to be Court Mage?” Pinkie asked, tearing into the giant cupcake in front of her. Discord shrugged. “Sure, why not?” “As if you even need a Court Mage...” Twilight muttered under her breath as she began to awkwardly peel the oranges with her hooves. “Why don’t I need a Court Mage? Hm?” Discord asked, leaning over to look Twilight directly in the eye. Twilight gulped. “You’re an immortal spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. You are far more powerful than I, a mere Unicorn, will ever be. Heck, you can do things I can’t do, like fixing my horn.” Discord ignored the rather unsubtle hint, and after a moment Twilight sighed and carried on talking. “You don’t need a Mage to cast spells for you. And you certainly don’t keep me around for my contributions to your government, as it is.” Twilight eyed the feasting nobles with displeasure as they gorged themselves on whatever food Discord had seen fit to summon for them. Each and everyone of them had a grey coat—the tell tale sign that they were under Discord’s mental alteration spell. “Which brings me to ask; why do you have me here?” Discord shrugged again. “I’m the Spirit of Chaos. I don’t need no reasons for nothing.” Twilight frowned and sighed. “So, I’m just here for your amusement then?” “Yes,” Discord said simply. “Well, that, and of course there’s the fact that you’re highly resistant to my mind alteration spell.” Twilight’s head shot up, her eyes wide. “I am?” Discord chucked. “What, you didn’t know? I even tried discording you in court today (or night—okay, this joke is getting old now), but it lasted about only a few seconds before you shook it off.” At Twilight’s look of confusion, he elaborated. “When I kissed you on the head? Hah, see, you didn’t even notice!” Twilight rubbed the top of her head with her hoof. “I didn’t even realise such a thing was possible.” “It’s rare, I only see a couple of individuals with it in any given century. Usually the fools challenge me, thinking it gives them some sort of power of me.” Discord laughed as his eyes gazed into the distance, recalling a fond memory. “They were always surprised when I turned them into pudding.” Twilight turned back to her food, mulling over this new knowledge. Does Celestia know? Is that why I was given the mirror? But it won’t help me if I ever have to face him—he said it himself, it doesn’t give me any power over him. She picked up an orange and resumed peeling it, fumbling and dropping it several times, much to Discord’s amusement. No, I won’t ask anypony for help. Certainly not him. I can do this. Eventually, she managed to get the peel off, but before she could begin to eat it she was distracted by a knocking at the window behind her. Turning, she saw a grey pegasus mare with a blond mane and wonky eyes with a mailbag around her shoulders tapping at the window. Immediately, Twilight’s face lit up and she made to open it with her magic, before remembering that she couldn’t. Sighing, she turned to Discord. “My lord, could you please get the window for me?” “Certainly, my dear.” Discord reached over and pulled the window of the wall like a sticker, before holding out to Twilight, the window draped across his paw. Disconcertingly, Twilight could still see the mail mare on the other side. “I meant ‘could you open it for me?’,” Twilight said with an exasperated tone. “Well, why didn’t you say that then?” With a quick flick of his claw, the window, still draped over his paw, opened, admitting the pegasus into the room. “Derpy deliveries!” declared the dopey dame (Say that five times fast!). “You post it, we’ll drop it!” She punctuated this by dropping a large brown package onto the table, almost squashing Twilights oranges and knocking several goblets over. “Hello Derpy.” Twilight beamed at the pegasus. “Has Cadance sent me another package?” “Yep, please sign here please.” Derpy held out a lump of cheese. “Derpy, that’s a lump of cheese,” Twilight deadpanned. Derpy gave the cheese a confused look before shrugging and putting it back in her bag. Snapping a quick salute and bowing to Discord, she left out the window she came in, slamming it shut so hard that it fell off the wall. “My bad!” “So, what did Cadance send to you this time, Twi?” Pinkie asked, leaning over. Twilight picked up the parcel and ripped off the paper, her eyes lighting up with joy. “Its a book!” Twilight exclaimed happily, causing Discord to snort derisively. “Cadance never sends me presents,” he sulked, crossing his arms. “Well, maybe you should have thought twice before sending her those enchanted shoes then,” Twilight snapped back, glaring at Discord. “Oh come on,” Discord said, rolling his eyes. “She’s still not sore about that, is she? It was nearly three hundred years ago, after all. I don’t even know what she thought was wrong with them.” “They forced her to dance the cancan nonstop for almost a hundred years!” Twilight said, still glaring daggers at Discord. “She still walks with a limp today!” Discord looked at Twilight, a solemn look on his face, before a series of twitches sent him into gales of laughter. “Bah-hah-hah! She still has that limp? Hah-hah, Oh, its been too long since I visited the Crystal Empire. Hang on, brb.” With a snap of his claws, he was gone. “What book did she send you, Twilight?” Pinkie asked, breaking the sudden silence that had descended over the table. “It’s the biography of the warrior-mage Don Quicktrot, the famous Bitalian who gave his life defeating the windmills from space that attacked Bitaly four hundred years ago,” Twilight explained, stroking the cover gently. Pinkie frowned. “Isn’t it Discord’s job to fight things like that though? You know how much he hates ponies dying.” Didn’t stop him from sending his guards after that poor stallion earlier, Twilight to herself, mentally sighing. It was true, however, that Discord hated death in all its forms. The ‘apex of order’ he called it—after all, you can’t change if you’re dead. “I was on vacation that week,” Discord replied, popping back into existence soaking wet with a big grin on his face. “What happened to you?” Twilight asked with a frown. “Well, it turns out that in the Crystal Empire they all go to bed at this time. Which is where I found Cadance. With your brother. Having—” “Lalala I can’t hear what you're saying!” Twilight said over him, putting her hooves over her ears, causing Discord to chuckle. “Yes, well, they were less than impressed with my entrance. So Cadance teleported me into a swimming pool. Full of sharks.” Discord looked thoughtful. “I’m actually rather proud of her for that. Might not actually ruin her wedding this time.” “You’re not even invited to that. Family only,” Twilight said, her growling stomach reminding her to pick up and eat her untouched orange. “Pft, as if that has ever stopped me,” Discord blithely said, waving a paw unconcernedly. “Besides, worst comes to the worst I could always marry you. That’ll make me family.” “Don’t you dare,” Twilight growled, causing Discord to chuckle. “My dear, you know that I am only going to see that as a challenge.” “Discord...” “Nope, too late.” Discord picked up Twilight and held her close to him. “We’re getting married, and then we're going to trash your brother's wedding!” Twilight’s facehoof could be heard from across the room.