I struggled to stop the tears streaming from my eyes. I needed to get a hold of myself before Ms. Dash came downstairs again. I looked around the room, finally spotting a box of tissues on the desk. I wiped my eyes, hoping they weren't too red from the tears.
I winced as I turned back to the room, a throb going through my head as I caught my hoof on an half open drawer. I rubbed my temple, frustrated at my sudden headache, however my curiosity was piqued by the drawer. I stopped for a moment to listen for hoofsteps coming from above me. Hearing none, I made my way behind the desk and pulled the drawer open.
Inside there was an assortment of objects, most of them uninteresting. However two did catch my eye, a book and a picture both laid there. I pulled them out and set the picture down on the table. I examined the book first.
It hadn't been touched in some time, a layer of dust covering it. I blew most of the dust away, coughing in the ensuing dust cloud. Even with it gone, I couldn't make out the title of the book. It was an thick tome, the pages yellowed and the covers illegible from age. I tried to open it, only to discover the small, yet sturdy lock on the side. With a frown I went through the drawer again searching for the key but couldn't find it. With a sigh I put the book back in the drawer, and picked up the picture.
Six happy mares smiled up at me from the picture. A yellow pegasus, a white unicorn, a orange earth pony, and a pink earth pony. Ms. Dash was there as well, smiling cockily. The mare that caught my attention though was the mare in the center. Even though my headache blurred my vision slightly, I could tell that she had the exact same shade coat as I did. Her cutie mark was obscured, so I couldn't be entirely sure, but I was certain that that was me.
Putting the picture back on the table, I once again brought my hoof to my head, my headache worsening. Not knowing how long Ms. Dash would be, I found a plush couch between two bookcases and laid down, hoping a little rest would get rid of my headache. I closed my eyes and waited.
~~~
The sound of hoofsteps rose me for my light slumber. I groggily opened my eyes looking for the source of them, my eyes settling on Ms. Dash as she came down the stairs. I quickly rose to my hooves as she reached the bottom of the steps and I walked towards her, meeting her next to the desk.
Her eyes twinkled as she asked, “Tired? I can understand that. It's been quite the day so far.” I nodded in agreement, stifling a yawn. She laughed again, filling up the tall room with her voice. It made the room seem much happier, taking the edge off the shadows that the bookshelves cast.
“Oh, Ms. Dash,” I began, grabbing the picture that lay on the desk where I left it. “I found this picture while you were upstairs and was wondering who all these ponies are?” Her eyes fell on the picture, and the laughter in her eyes died. She looked from the picture to my face, as if searching for something there.
With a sigh, she replied, “Well, this is our group of friends Twilight.” It felt odd hearing her call me by my first name. It was the first time she hadn't addressed me as 'Ms. Sparkle'. “You know me, this here is Fluttershy, this is Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and that in the center -” she paused looking up at me, “-as I'm sure you've guessed, is you.”
I winced as I reached for the picture again, my headache not yet gone. “If we're good friends Rainbow Dash,” some emotion flashed across her face faster than I could recognize it. “Then why have you been calling me Ms. Sparkle?”
She sighed and rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. “I'll explain it all in a bit, but first you have to meet someone.” The frown on her face was replaced with a smile. “Spike! Come on down.” She called out.
Remembering what she'd gone upstairs for, I looked to the top of staircase expecting to see another pony approaching. After a moment, a large, purple shape came bolted down the stairs and to a quick halt next to Rainbow Dash. With a twinkle in her eye, Rainbow introduced me. “Ms. Twilight, meet Spike the dragon.”
My eyes moved over his figure, awing over him. He was quite a bit bigger than either Ms. Dash or I, standing tall on two legs. He had long arms with quite sharp claws at the end. Down his back ran a series of green scales. His face was smiling at me, teeth sharp and visible. By all means, I should've been terrified of him. But there was something there. Something in his eyes that I saw. Something that told me that I was safe. That I shouldn't be afraid.
“Hello Spike.” Giving him a warm smile. “I'm guessing you already know me.”
“You betcha'! It's good to see you up Twilight.” His grin grew larger, though it seemed to be missing something. My smile faltered as my head throbbed again.
“So, how did we know each other?” Trying to take my mind of the pain.
“I'm your number one assistant!” His face broke into a toothy smile, obviously proud of this. “I do a lot of the work around the library, from general maintenance to the odd jobs that pop up. If there's something that needs to be done, I tend to do it!”
“I hope I at least pay you well then!” I chuckle, unable to be quite as genuine as I would've liked. Despite his contagious enthusiasm that brought the corners of my mouth up into a small smile, my head pounded even harder.
My reply sent Rainbow and Spike into peals of laughter, filling the room with a bright happy air.
I closed my eyes, not able to deal with the pain. It felt like a hot knife in my skull, burning and stabbing bringing me to the floor. I let loose a scream as the agony tore through me. I laid there writhing in agony until, finally darkness overtook me.
~~~
Garbled voices made their way to me through the haze of unconsciousness, bringing back the ache to my head.
“--estia will be here soon.” I begin to make out parts of what they say as I slowly woke up. A groan makes it's way from me involuntarily as my head throbs again. One of my eyes made its way open, only to have the light come in and cause me to quickly shut it.
“Twilight!” cried the deeper voice, accompanied by hoofsteps that came closer. “Rainbow, is she waking up?” I struggled to move a hoof, eventually gaining control over my limb and moving it to cover my eyes.
“Yes, Spike.” I felt a hoof lay itself on my shoulder. “Twilight, are you alright?” I finally managed to open my eyes, my hoof thankfully blocking the light from my eyes. Moving ever so slowly so as not to aggravate my head, I sat up.
I was on a bed in a room I was entirely unfamiliar with. I moved my head ever so slowly around to take in my surroundings wincing ever so slightly every time my head throbbed. This obviously wasn't one of the main rooms in the library as not every wall was dedicated to bookshelves, though one was. No here was a room that was much more personal. Next to the bed there laid a small bedside table which held an alarm clock and a book. There next to the door lay a dresser and mirror, and there was a small desk by the bookcases. Everything was tidy and clutter free, as if no one had used this room in quite some time.
“What happened?” I finally managed, looking to the pegasus standing next to the bed. She looked relieved, probably happy that nothing too bad had happened to me on her watch.
“Well, we were talking and you collapsed and fell unconscious.” She explained. “We brought you upstairs so you could lie down.”
“Thank you.” She smiled, shaking her head.
“It wasn't really much of an issue. What with the big guy over here,” she gestured towards Spike, “I didn't even have to do any lifting! And besides, it's your room after all.”
My room? I looked around again. That would explain the disuse. I slowly shifted my weight and began to get up.
“Whoa! Do you want some help there?” Dash offered, surprised by my movement.
“No,” I shook my head. “I can handle this.” Silently hoping that I could handle it, I moved all my weight off the bed, bringing my hooves to rest on the floor with a slight shake. “May I look around?” I ask aloud, glancing over at the large dresser by the door.
“Sure, it's your room after all. Spike and I'll just wait out on the balcony.” I looked to where she began to move to and saw the doors behind the half pulled curtains. I'd missed them when I first looked over the room. That bothered me for some reason.
I shook it off and waited a moment to check my balance. Reassured, I moved over towards the dresser. I traced my hoof over it's design, It was large, but not too bulky, and made of a beautiful redwood. It had intricate carvings on many of the surfaces and was lovingly crafted I moved to open the top drawer, but stopped when I saw the mirror again. That moment it hit me. I didn't know what I looked like. Sure to some extent I did, I had seen my body and that sort, but I had never seen my face.
I approached the mirror from an angle so that I didn't see myself right away. I was uneasy for no reason. I snorted, somewhat disappointed in myself for being so afraid of nothing, and strutted right in front of the mirror. A somewhat confused expression met my face.
There I was, a face I didn't recognize staring blankly back at me. It was odd, seeing my own reflection and not recognizing it. That was the moment when it truly hit me. How much was gone from my life? I lifted a hoof and so did the mare in the mirror. I brought it up to my face and touched it. I took the time to examine my own face. I took in everything, from my mouth to my horn, memorizing every single detail. I would remember my own face for the future.
A knock on the balcony doors broke me away from my examination. Turning my head, Rainbow Dash opened the door and entered. “Uh, Twilight, there's someone here to see you, if you don't mind.”
“Sure, I can see them. Who is it?” She walked towards the door and motioned towards someone I couldn't see. She came back in and moved away from the door, clearing the way for the pony following her.
I was stunned. Behind Rainbow was a tall pony, coat glistening a perfect white that almost seemed to glow in the sunlight. Her hair blew in a nonexistent breeze and was the colors of a stunning sunrise. She was adorned with jewelry that was amazing in it's own right, but couldn't hold a candle to the beauty of the mare herself. Her hair covered one of her eyes, but the other twinkled with delight and mystery. I felt that those eyes had seen much more than I could ever imagine. She smiled when she saw me and said, “Hello Twilight Sparkle! It's nice to see you up again.”
I didn't know how to respond, stunned by the appearance of someone so grand. Eventually, I mustered, “T-thank you. What can I help you with?” I struggled to regain my composure, as I remembered she wished to talk to me.
She chuckled at that. “Well Ms. Sparkle, I am Princess Celestia, the ruler of Equestria. Rainbow Dash sent me a letter detailing your condition and asking for my help, so here I am!”
I looked over to Rainbow. She'd sent a letter to a princess asking for help for me? I frowned and turned my head back to Princess Celestia. “Thank you, I'd like my memories back, b-but you're the leader of a country. You shouldn't worry about me, I'll recover on my own eventually.” I looked down at the ground, knowing that I'd probably just lost the best chance of getting my memories back.
Princess Celestia drew close to me and tilted my head up so ours eyes met. “Twilight, I care for all of my little ponies. In fact, they're the most important things to me as a ruler. What kind of leader would I be if I couldn't help out my ponies when they're in need?”
I couldn't believe my luck, I could really get my memories back! “I don't know what to say! Thank you so much!”
Her face darkened slightly as she looked down on me. “I can't guarantee anything, but I will do my best to restore what you have lost. If you wish, we may begin now.”
I gulped, unsure what I was getting myself into, but nodded. “Very well then. You should probably lie down on the bed.” I laid down and prepared myself for what came next. “Alright Twilight, I'm going to examine your mind magically. I will look for something there that is causing the memory loss. If it's with your permission, I will cast a sleep spell on you to assist the process.” Nodding my consent, she smiled and lit her horn. A light blue beam on magic made it's way towards me and I immediately felt the effects. My eyelids drooped and I yawned. I turned onto my side and promptly fell asleep.
~~~
All was dark and cold before me. I had been in the dark a long time, long since gotten used to the biting cold that was always present. I was strong and kept myself alive. Despite that, I knew that there was something I was missing. A part of me that wasn't there. But I stayed strong. Time passed. I moved through the darkness with little purpose, mind and body numb from the cold.
Something changed though. As time went on, the cold seemed to lose it's hold on me. Something was different. A heat had found it's way inside me, and it lived there, a hidden flame that kept the cold away. That flame was strong and lasting, with me day and night, my only bastion against the dark. I nursed it, unaware of it's power, only knowing that I didn't wish to freeze again.
One day, I lost my way in the darkness. Fear filled me and washed away every trace of warmth I had known. All I could feel was the icy bite of the dark which had consumed the flame I had come to love. I laid down in the black and wept.
Slowly the darkness gave way to light. Shocked, I turned my head towards the light. A flame, strong and undeterred by the dark, was flickering there before my eyes. It glowed warmly and moved closer to me, it asked me why I cried. Too taken with my sadness to marvel at the flame, I told it of the cold and the dark that surrounded me. I told it of the pain that I felt. I told it how I was once saved by a warmth, but I had lost my way and that there was nothing I could do.
The fire moved closer again and comforted me with it's warmth. “Hush,” it said. “I know how you feel. Long ago I too was cold and lost. I felt that there was nothing I could do. I too felt this warmth and took it inside me. Slowly I built it up and no longer did I feel the cold. But seeing you like this, it draws the cold back to me. Come with me and I shall keep you warm. I shall move the darkness aside and light your path. Together we shall never get lost again.”
I finally looked towards to one light in the dark. My life changed in that moment. It was stunning. What I had thought was a flame at first turned to be a pony. She glowed with warmth, and when she smiled at me, I felt the warmth flood into me. I felt alive again. I saw through the darkness and truly saw the world for the first time because of her. I loved her.
Time flew by as we spent it together, the warmth grew between us. It kept the cold far away, and the dark only a distant memory. And inside me something else grew. A budding flower, kindled by this mare who had brought me from the brink. Slowly it blossomed and grew. I loved her. Finally I admitted to her, and to my joy she felt the same. The warmth grew and became a hot passion that burned brightly. That fire became the center of my world. I was happy for a short time.
A flash of color filled the world spreading across all I could see. It was stunningly beautiful, even putting the mare I loved to shame. I was fascinated with this new occurrence, enraptured by everything that I had never imagined, but could now see. As time passed, the colors dulled, and with them the center of my world was torn away from me piece by piece.
The cold and the dark to enveloped me once more as I searched for the mare that was my light.
I was lost once more.
All is dark and cold before me.