There was something wrong with Pinkie Pie.
No, that really wasn’t enough. It wasn’t strong enough, or new enough – since the first day she had come to Ponyville, back when she had been a reticent and unfriendly outsider eager to be in and out as quickly as she could, she had found herself thinking exactly that a hundred times. A thousand. More. There was something wrong with Pinkie Pie, but everypony knew that already. It was common knowledge, and that was the problem. This wasn’t common. It wasn’t even common for Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie was behaving strangely. Which was to say strangely for Pinkie Pie. And Twilight Sparkle was worried. It had been subtle at first – Pinkie had had a little less energy in her tone, a little less spring in her step. Little things, easy enough to ignore as the effects of tiredness or a the stress of the task they’d been given. But from there things had only escalated. The party pony sat across from her now, staring into space with a slight frown on her face, and Twilight couldn’t help but notice the deep bags under her eyes or the way they were no longer sparkling.
“Pinkie?” She ventured, breaking the long silence that had hung between them. Pinkie didn’t answer. Didn’t react. So Twilight cleared her throat and spoke again. “Pinkie, are you listening?”
The pink pony blinked, and her eyes darted around – for just a moment she looked terribly, terribly lost and afraid. Then she smiled. It was a beautiful thing, bright and wide and beaming, and her eyes lit up to match it. When Pinkie tilted her head and let out a quiet giggle, Twilight could almost believe that nothing was wrong. Almost.
“Hmmm. That’s a tough one, Twilight – I thought I was listening and I was trying really hard to listen cause you said it was important but then I got distracted listening to other things and I didn’t hear what you said and I’m really sorry about that! But I guess the answer is kind of yes because I was listening but I wasn’t listening to you. What was it you were saying?”
“I asked you if -” The unicorn cut herself off and frowned. “Wait, there’s nopony else here – if you weren’t listening to me, what were you listening to?”
“Oh, it’s nothing important. I just thought I heard something but I was wrong and that’s good because I was really really hoping I didn’t hear anything because – well, nevermind, it really doesn’t matter. What did you ask me? Unless that was what you asked me which would be kinda neat and kinda scary because I hadn’t told you I was listening to somepony else yet!”
And then it happened. For just a moment Pinkie’s smile faltered, and then it was back. When the pink pony spoke again, there was something off in her tone. A hint of desperation. Like she had seen something she wanted – needed – but couldn’t quite get at. Twilight didn’t know why, but it sent a chill down her spine.
“Is that what you asked me, Twilight? Huh?”
She shook her head slowly, never taking her eyes of the pink pony’s smiling face, and saw the glimmer in them dim, just a little.
“No, Pinkie. I asked you what’s wrong. I’ve never seen you like this.” She tried hard to keep the worry out of her voice. She failed miserably, but if Pinkie noticed she didn’t react.
“Oh, I’m fine! I guess I’m just a little nervous is all. It’s not every day you go up against a monster that can turn back time, after all!”
“Pinkie, I’ve seen you before a big fight. I saw you laugh at Nightmare Moon, I saw you put off fighting Discord so that you could drink chocolate milk! We’ve gone up against things a hundred times worse than this, and I’ve never once seen you this afraid. Please. I’m your friend. I want to help you. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong! Those times were different, ‘cause I already knew we were gonna win and if you know you’re gonna win you’ve got nothing to be afraid of so why would I be afraid right? But this time -”
Pinkie’s smile disappeared, and this time it didn’t reappear. For a moment the pink pony just sat, her eyes fixed on Twilight’s own. Some part of Twilight wondered how she had never noticed just how empty those eyes really were.
“It doesn’t matter, okay? You wouldnt believe me even if I told you. You never do.”
“Pinkie, please! I -”
Pinkie cut her off then, not with words but with a kiss. Deep, wonderful and all too brief. When the other mare pulled away, Twilight found herself treated to a small, real smile.
“I know you don’t remember, but you asked me to give you one of those and I promised I would. So now we’re even, okay? Well, no. We’re not even. Not even close.”
“What do you mean?” Of the thousand questions that had risen in her mind, that seemed by far the easiest. So she grabbed it and clung to it. Questions were easy, even if the answers weren’t.
Pinkie just shook her head, that beaming smile sliding onto her face once more. “Don’t worry about it, okay? I’m sure we’ll win this time and then it’ll all be okay and we can kiss a whole lot more and maybe I’ll throw a party. Or maybe…maybe we can just talk? Talking is nice too. I kinda miss being able to really talk to you girls. But don’t worry – if we lose this time, I’ll keep trying. I promise. I’ll never give up on you.”
And then Pinkie was gone, out the tent flap and away, leaving Twilight to stare after her and wonder why.