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// This chapter is a joke. It doesn't actually continue the storyline. The title is also very long and is increasing in size as I type. I should stop typing. Damn it, I keep typing! SON OF A- 
// Story: Unchangeling 
// by Kira 
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CHAPTER NUMBER


CHAPTER TITLE


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"What's up, douchebags! Crunch narrating here. This chapter will be narrated by me, even though it's obviously the author. He works very hard, by the way. You should advertise his story everywhere and get him like infinity likes. ON WITH THE STORY!"

Derpy flew along, occasionally doing a barrel roll. It wasn't hard. You just had to Press Z or R twice!. Her plan was to get the Ursa Minor that almost killed the entirety of Ponyville and bring it back. Perfect plan, right? Whatever could go wrong?

Well, an assload of things, as it turns out. You see, the Ursa Minor happened to be a female going through its first heat. It was in a hormonal rage as it rampaged through the town searching for a worthy mate. It found it in the town hall building. The details, or 'Deets' are too mentally scarring to put here, so the author decided against it.

So, this big ass bear- excuse me. This big ass Ursa Minor comes into town and starts to rape the  town hall. Somepony's gonna get peeved, right? Wrong. Everypony just watchedd in awe. Except me. I ran away and kinda peed a little bit. Still, I did manage to find a rabbit and steal its emotions. I heard FLuttershy calling out for some guy named Angle, but whatever. Not the bunny, not important.

Derpy was happy with what so did. She impressed me, apparently. As a way of expressing this, she snuck up behind me as I was stopped in the woods (after eating the bunny joy) and slapped in the buttocks. Hard. I had internal bleeding on my left cheek and she borked the skin on my right one.

This unique combination of events, mainly a huge bear getting it on with a building, led to a space/time rift. A man name Arin, otherwise know as 'Egoraptor' fell out of it. He didn't get to play a role in the story, though, as the fall broke both his spine and his rectum. Ouch.

However, also out of this rift fell a black man, Equestria's first. He ran like the devil the the bear, who happened to be racist. The bear finished with the building and ran off screaming like Toby Turner, or maybe moar like Sarah Jessica Parker. I don't know. Can real horses scream? Well, whatever.

This paragraph is just a filler. I need more words to make this chapter seem long enough to reed, so I'm putting this stuff in. Don't ridicule me! This chapter doesn't even matter!

BACK TO THE STORY! Yeah, the black man turned out to be a murder (not because he's black, I swear!). Derpy was killed, and as was Applejack. He hugged them to death. Immediately after Applejack died, Celestia teleported in carrying a large leather whip and hit the black man whit it. She was shunned by her people for racism and Equestria fell under the rule of Luna. Luna ordered night to be forever and it was so ugly that everyone died. The end!