"Reporting live for BBC news. I am currently stood right outside Aperture facility as they prepare to unveil their newest experiment, one that has been promised to move our technology years ahead of its time, created by non other than...There he is!" The reporter quickly waved her hand, encouraging the camera man to follow her closer to the disturbance.
A huge crowd of reporters and fans filled up the pavement beside the road as a car came around the corner. The car itself was nothing special, the person who was inside that however was. And if today went as planned, he would be spoken alongside names such as Einstein and Stephen Hawking.
The white car slowly came to a stop before the crowd who were kept at bay from a small path leading from the car to the building by police. The front door of the car opened and a tall and well muscled man stepped out. He was wearing a perfect black suit with a blood red tie and black leather gloves and was bald apart from a small black cap on top of his head. He had been well paid for this small job, to make sure nothing went wrong today. The man he was hired to protect had many enemies. And for now, he was resigned to play the part of the butler.
His critical eye scanned the crowd, picking out likely suspects of an attack and held them in his memory so he could stop them if they tried to attack. There was too much pushing and movement to see any tell tale signs of a bulge in a coat. He would have to just be best prepared to stop any gun the moment it came out. This was not an ideal bodyguard situation, but this man he was protecting was one for theatrics and insisted it had to be done, to soak up the public applause as he unveiled his new technology.
He kept his face neutral and walked up the side of the car, opening the door.
A foot poked out and the crowd went ecstatic, people desperately pushing against the line of police just to try and get closer. Teasingly, the rest of the body came out slowly, sporting a wide grin. The man was wearing a scientists lab coat which covered his whole body. He wasn't particularly handsome, or very ugly, his brown hair was cut short, sticking up slightly at the front. He was best described as 'average'. He had a brown shirt underneath the coat and white trainers, completing the look of a stereotypical scientist, much to the crowds pleasure
As he stood out into the sunlight reporters thrust their microphones closer and tried shouting over each other to get the first question and response from him.
"What will you do when-"
"How does it feel to-"
How will this-"
He shook his head and playfully pulled the motion of a zip across his mouth, waving away with his free hand. The crowd ignored this and pushed against the line regardless, desperate to be closer. He walked up quickly, smiling and rarely blessing some stranger with his signature.
He tapped a little dance as he walked up the red carpet between the police guards. This was the day he had been waiting so long for. This day was going to be just perfect...
The man stood at the podium, in front of a large blanketed object. Everyone knew what it was, but this was the first public unveiling and so it remained covered for dramatic tension. He coughed, and began his speech to the assembled crowd of scientists and reporters.
"Ladies and gentleman, today, we stand at the dawn of a new age in technology, a rise in..."
He sighed and threw the papers to one side
"I had this whole nice little speech planned, well, written for me. But you don't want to hear me ramble on about how this technology is going to revolutionise the human race. And I can't be bothered to go on about it either. So lets just skip ahead."
He flashed the cameras a quick grin before turning around and whipping the cloth of the device. The audience gasped and began a round of furious applause. In front of him stood a large metal disk shaped object standing up. It flashed with sparks of electricity and wires ran down the sides, feeding it power to get it ready. It stood up with two 'legs' supporting the circle and was taller than the man.
He chuckled lightly as he beheld his creation. Five years of research had led him to this moment, well, not all of it was his creation exactly.
Phoenix Corporations, the other major player in revolutionary technology. Aperture and Phoenix have been rivals for over ten years, ever since they were both founded in 2015.
He had already created the device, all he needed now was to calculate the exact formula needed to bend light around a fixed point to such a high degree that the person entering would not be ripped to shreds and the bare atoms spread across the universe. This formula was so elusive he spent over a year working on it with no success. Then came the word
His spy in Phoenix had alerted him that they were close to finishing the same device that he had been working on, except they had worked out the code. He then took the only logical step.
He sent in a team of spies to steal the data and trash the lab so Phoenix would never finish the device.It had been expensive, especially for a mission such as this and had to use all the money he had gained for creating the Aperture Science Sentry Turret.
It was worth it. Not only did he now have the formula, but he also struck a severe blow to their industry. The best part was that they had been keeping the formula a secret, and now only the ruined mangers know about it, with no evidence to press him for charges.
"That looks even better than the last time I looked!" The man waved to the cameras as they went berserk over pictures. "So I promised, so I will deliver."
The man stood for the pictures for a few more seconds, living his glory. He absentmindedly rubbed the silver coin in his pocket. He went up to the side of the machine and pressed a small red button. The large metal device hummed as it warmed up and cables sparked as electricity flowed through them.
Everyone went silent as the machine carried on, growing louder and louder. The man's smile began to flicker as volts were spat out with no results. A few tense moments later the silence was shattered by a loud crack which echoed throughout the hall.
A vortex of air began swirling inside the ring, a stray sheet of paper was sucked in and viciously ripped to shreds which fluttered out behind the machine. A thump sounded out and an orange portal expanded from the centre of the ring until it filled the entire inside of the device. It glowed ominously, a solid orange which bathed the audience in light.
A loud cheer rose up from the crowd. Reporters screamed into their respective cameras about the success.
The ceiling opened up above them, causing them to look up. A similar ring descended to the floor beside the first, this one casting of a contrasting blue light.
"And here we have, the worlds first teleporter. Ladies and gentleman, I myself shall test this out right now. See you on the other side!"
And with that the man jumped into the orange portal which completely consumed him. The crowd gasped and went silent.
Seconds ticked by without noise.
Suddenly a ear splitting metallic screech deafened the crowd and caused the windows to shatter. At once both portals glowed purple and imploded, creating an explosion that scorched the lab, destroying years of research and singing the front row of the audience.
Okay, this is not how today was meant to go. I was supposed to pop out the other portal, where I would be congratulated and made a hero of science. I was not supposed to rocket through the nether space like some sort of insane bird. I shall sum up my situation as briefly as I can.
After stepping into the orange portal I fell downwards, instead of coming out the blue teleporter. It seems I had forgotten to take into account the effect of parallel dimensions magnetic attraction on the electric impulses of the brain and body for when I pass through the nether space. But come on, how was I supposed to realise their were other worlds?
The objects I passed through the teleporter came out the other side perfectly fine, it must be the electrical activity of a living creature that is causing me to be taken astray. Problematic.
I am in a...'world'? Reality? No, it is more the space between worlds and realities. Anyway it is pure white and I am falling at an incredible rate. Since this place has no air as such and no other movement there must be some sort of attraction force acting on me, most likely from the nearest universe to the one I just popped out from.
The speeds I'm going at are beyond human, easily mach 2.5. Before any of you start complaining "but you can't go faster than terminal velocity when falling" I am in the nether world, there is no air, therefore no air resistance, therefore, no terminal velocity. I can go as fast as I like, of course, the next object I hit is likely to be the end of me.
There is some sort of brown spot in the distance, as that is the only colour I can presume that is the thing that is attracting me towards it. Doesn't look like much.
Okay it does look a little bigger now. It doesn't look like much, just a brown smudge floating in the nether world. Although I am going very fast. If it's solid...
I am not going to survive this, I am going way to fast to OH SHI-
Darkness surrounds me, but I am still falling. There are bright specks of light above but there is nothing apart from that
Unexpected, I had believed the afterlife to be nothing, but here I physically am, falling somewhere. Maybe there is a heaven and hell.
At the rate I'm falling, I would definitely say hell. At least dying didn't hurt. I didn't feel a thing, which is strange. My body would have enough time to send the first of the pain impulses to my brain before that too was smashed to pieces, or maybe I underestimated the speed I was going.
As I slowly spin in the air I am faced with a new and unconsidered problem. Mostly due to the impossibility of the situation. I am in fact, heading straight for earth and I am some how at the edge of the atmosphere.
Hmmm...
I'm not even going to bother trying to unlock the logic behind this. For now all I will say is this. Earth IS hell. That makes the most sense right now.
Well, that's the least of my problems as I'm heading there very fast and starting to catch fire from the wind resistance. The air is screaming at me as I rocket and faster and faster towards the planet in front of me. Soon it is all encompassing and I see I am clearly heading for some sort of lake in a small forest...on a mountain? It seems my luck is finally turning.
Well, that all depends on whether this lake is deep enough, by the way the light of the moon is refracted and reflected through the shimmering waters I would have to say it's deep, but the mud distorted these rays and makes it impossible to come to a certain scientific conclusion in the few seconds I have before I crash. Now it's just a question of...
WHAM!!
Darkness
Spots of light.
A rush of sound in my ears
The whole world around me pulsed.
It grew lighter and began to vibrate before I slowly began to regain consciousness. The world flashed white and I breathed in.
Water rushed into my mouth, filling my lungs. I desperately tried to cough it back up but I had no air to replace it. My eyes stung under the water with all the mud making it hard to see. I tried to move one arm forwards but it wouldn't work properly and I couldn't lift it very far. Something wrong with my muscles or shoulder, maybe some type of cramp or an impalement of an object in my shoulder preventing proper movement. Either way it was interfering with me saving my life.
I tried to move my back leg back as well to propel my self forwards and hopefully out of the water. However that had also been impaired and the best I could do was some sort of kicking motion with my strange limbs.
A few seconds of manic flailing later and I began to feel things go dark. I was running low on oxygen. I desperately needed more so I could live. Even if I go without oxygen for much longer then my brain will begin shutting down, which could cause irreversible brain damage even if I survive. To do that to a brain like mine would be an offence to nature.
Finally I breached the water like some sort of majestic wet dog. At once I vomited a lung full of water only to once again slip beneath the surface without taking a single breath.
I scream out bubbles at annoyance of this. My feet aren't very useful for moving in the water. They're so cold, I can't even feel my toes, or my hands. I just have to pray they are still there and that I can still use them to flop in the water.
At least the fire on me has gone out
Once again I come out of the water, and this time I take a huge gasp of oxygen. It was beautiful. Bobbing at the surface, I can now see a shoreline, just a few meters away. It will be a good time to check out all my injures. My shoulders and legs aren't moving properly, my face feels really weird and long, my short hair is getting in my eyes (illogical) and I feel...I'm not sure, hunched over? My legs and spine seem to be at different angles. Maybe the fall was worse than I thought.
I once again begin my pitiful flailing in some hope of moving forward to the bank. I must be doing something right as it is slowly getting closer to me.
I grab the edge, trying to dig my fingers into the soft dirt in order to pull me up on to dry land. Instead my hand just slides back straight into the water. I try again and look down to see no fingers, or hand....
Deep breaths, now is not the time for fear. That comes later. For now, I will simply attempt to survive this dream/afterlife/hallucination scenario.
This time I give a big push with my legs downwards and slam both my 'arms' down onto bank in order to drag myself out of the freezing water. Finally managing to get some sort of grip I heave and kick wildly, sending splashes of water out behind me as I use all my might to get out.
Something gives and I send myself flying forwards onto the blessed dry land. I lie there panting while I recover from my near death experience. It is an interesting phenomenon, with the rush of adrenaline and the will of the body to survive. However I am in no mood to repeat it, ever again.
Dreading the moment I do think it's time to see what has happened to my body. I open my eyes, blinking away water droplets that had settled around the lids. Despite the fact I am lying on my back, my arms and legs are stuck up into air above me, which is usually rather uncomfortable with the strain of keeping the limbs in the air I found my self at peace, as if it was natural to have them sticking up like that.
I looked down and realised why.
So I am in hell
In short terms where my legs previously were I now had the common legs of a horse, or pony to be more precise by the measurements. Truly Satan is craftier than I gave him credit for. Who would of expected an eternal punishment of being reduced to a measly pony. We probably had to give lifts to the people who ascended to heaven too, oh the humiliation.
Well, at least now I can rule out the theory of somehow surviving the teleporter, and was just waking up after dreaming about falling from space.
Very well, If I am to be a pony, then I must first learn to move.
If I'm honest with myself, I am taking this very well. Most people would have freaked out over being magically turned into another form of being. But I am logical, there is no useful point in freaking out and so I will simply cope with the problem at hand. The problem right now, is that I have no idea how to move
First task: getting off my back
Method: The tortoise
Slowly swinging my legs from side to side I tip over on my right side. I twitch my muscles one by one, trying to get a feel for this body. There does seem to be some sort of way in which my legs want to move. Lifting my front 'legs', shudder, I put my two front 'hooves' on the ground and push up.
As the front of my body moves into the air I push down with back feet, ah, hooves, and get up.
Okay, I'm up, even if a little shaky. I must admit, it does come naturally.
I take a step forwards and immediately face plant into the ground.
Okay so maybe not that naturally. At least I have plenty of time to stay calm, and slowly learn to
GRAWWWWWWWWWWW
Dammit.
I look up from the ground to see the first of Hell's creatures, and this is final proof I'm in Hell.
A twisted fusion of lion, scorpion and bat, at a guess, poked its head out from the cover of the trees. Once again I got up to my feet/hooves/couldn't care less at this point, ready to face the danger. It glares at me with two beady eyes, bordering on intelligent...to a degree. Rough fur covers its body, alas not covering the claws on its paws which he is about to use to skewer me. I eye the tail closely, a predator with a tail like that would use it as it's main method of killing the prey without wasting meat or blood cutting me up. So likely fast acting poison, or at least partial paralysing. It's two wings are out behind it, but it has no use flying here, I'm on the ground and vulnerable.
Concentrate, read it. Predict its movements.
As it nears I calculate all of it. Going fast, knock me over, then eat me. But there's more to it. Its body is largely relaxed, expecting little resistance. There. Muscles contracting near the tail. He intends to sting me and then knock me down while I suffer the poisons effects. Well, not today.
I perform brilliant calculations in a second and hop ever so slightly left, dodging the predicted tails path as it slams into the earth beside me. As soon as I can I wrap all limbs around the tail as he runs past me and towards where I was a second ago.
He blinks as he realises it missed, not expecting such a quick reaction. Well, not reactions as such. Just a prediction of movement and acting accordingly. He lifts it's tail out of the ground and as it retracts over him with me still clung to it, somehow, I pull down sharply so I land on his back with his stinger still in hoof, hey, these horse parts are getting easier to remember. Anyway, I close my eyes for less than a second to make a rough guess as to where the heart is.
I doubt these creatures are immune to the poisons effects if it is directly injected into the bloodstream, but I cant take any chances that they may have grown an immunity to it, such as if the species males often fought each other. Evolution would force them to evolve immunity. This may be hell, but science still applies...I think.
"Fluffy!"
What the... A voice!? Gah, can't think about that know, focus on destroying the beast. Using all the force I can muster in this pathetic body I bring the tail I am still holding in one hand crashing down into its back, slightly left of spine, hopefully hitting the heart, and not any bones such as the spine or the lung.
The creature shrieks beneath me and thrashes, throwing me a good distance where I nicely crash straight into a tree, nearly knocking me out there and then.
Groggily I look up from the floor to see the beast flailing around, it's tail jammed into it's back. Very unpleasant, especially for him. This is a very different version of hell than the one I imagined. Well, I expected more fire and brimstone and all that.
I stumble up before falling against the tree and smacking my head again. I've been through a portal straight to hell where I crashed into a lake from outer space and then had to fight of one of Hell's beast's straight away. Give me a break.
"YOU...YOU MONSTER! BEAST! FOUL CREATURE OF TARTARUS!!" A voice screamed angrily. The weird part was It sounded more in my direction than the monster.
"THOU DAREST TO BREATHE AFTER THIS MURDER MOST FOUL!!??"
I would have to say female, although at that volume it could be through a megaphone. As if I didn't all ready have a headache from the multiple collisions between my head and every object in this goddamn world.
Everything's blurry, not a good sign. I can barely stand up resting against a tree, still on all fours, like some sort of stupid animal. I shake my head and look up.
Something is right in front of me, but for the life I don't have I couldn't tell you what. All I know is that it was a dark silhouette against the light of the moon
"WHO-
The sheer pressure and wind behind that voice pushes me backwards a step or two. I lose my precious hold on the tree and I stand alone and can't think straight at all. It's like a dark fog clouding my head, requiring all my concentration just to stand up.
-ART-
I stumble a few more steps this time and my hair whips backwards in the wind. I can feel the skin around my teeth being pulled back in a twisted grin. What happens next, well, I believe my aggressor took that as me smiling in defiance of her
-THOU!!!????!"
This time, I actually fall over backwards from the hurricane voice to where I clonk into a tree head first and a spike of pain shoots through my head, killing my movements and forcing me to collapse to the ground as darkness rushes in. My eyelids droop down and my brain prepares for unconscious. I hate this place already.