Insert title here
Previously on Deadpool vs Equestria...
{Deadlights?}
...
{What?}
...
...
{Where'd he go?}
[He's crying now. I think we need to take over.]
{I'll do it.}
____________________________________________________________________
Deadpool looked back on the redecoration of the room he was in the last issue. Every S.H.I.E.L.D soldier was now on the floor. Pretty much dead. He stabbed a few, decapitated a few, shot two, and one of them, he used one of his smoke grenades to kill him. The smoke all went into his mouth, and stuff happens. He tried his best to breathe, but he just couldn't take the heat, and his lungs started sucking at their job. It was very sad.
{I do wonder what would happen if the smoke grenades used smoke from a burning building.}
{Indubitably, sire.}
[What have you done?]
{I made him a cultured dick. Look at him. Look at him and cry. Meet your brother.}
{DADDY!}
{I'm not your father.}
{WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!}
[Look at what you've done.]
{Oh, darn, I have to sing a nursery rhyme.}
{Hush little baby, don't say a word,
{Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird,
{And if that mockingbird don't sing,
{Then... Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ringforwhenyougetmarriedpresumably,
{And if that diamond ring gets... ... ...Uh... sold? Sold,
{...Papa's gonna feel like a... big asshole...}
{Ass..hooolllleeee.}
[Now it's cursing.]
{FUCK!}
[YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!]
SHUSH!
{... ... ...He did it...}
I'm finished spraying water in my face.
[I thought you were crying.]
I wasn't crying, I was spraying water in my face so my face got cold, because I didn't do that thing you said I didn't do.
{Why didn't you?}
I went bowling with friends earlier today, and I felt kind of tired, so I didn't want to do anything overcomplicated like think up something by myself instead of sticking to something already happening.
[You're writing right no-]
{Sequels should never come out quickly after something else. Time and thought must be put everywhere. He'll come back to it when he's ready.}
Thanks. Anyway.
Deadpool checked his sub-machine gun. He was disappointed by the amount of ammo... the small amount.
"...Huh... getting pretty close to 'click click click.'" He said, before looking at a door. As always, the door looked tech-y. "Well, no time like the present until we find a time machine." He walked to the door, opened it, and walked through.
And he fell off the Helicarrier. He had failed to notice the parachutes next to the door, as well as the sign clearly placed onto the door saying, 'Fire Exit.'
He quickly unsheathed his katanas, and stabbed the Helicarrier. Except, the Helicarrier's plating was very tough, so that barely made a dent. He fell. Fell. Fell. Onto an ascending gunship carrying reinforcements. Which was heading back to where he fell from. He didn't want to go back there, but he waited until it went to the fire exit, before activating his teleporter.
He ended up inside a de-activated jail cell. He looked around for a moment, before walking out, and trying to teleporter again. He ended up back in that cell.
{Maybe S.H.I.E.L.D figured out how your teleporter thingy works, and made it direct you back to this jail cell.}
"FUCK!" Deadpool cursed.
{SHUSH! The baby is sleeping.}
{Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......}
"...Okay."
Deadpool looked around. There were weird red glove things on a table. He put them on, ignoring the possibilities of it being unstable. Fortunately for him, it wasn't. Deadpool looked at the palms of the gloves, and they looked like a black... comfy thing. He walked over to a wall, then touched it, where it stuck a little bit. He tried pulling it off, and it did so. He figured they would let him climb walls, like Spider-Man.
Maybe if I wear these gloves, nobody will know I'm Spider-Man.
{Like how 60's Spider-Man thought a shirt would hide his identity over his identity?}
Deadpool decided to climb up to the ceiling. However, his feet didn't stick like Spidey's, so his legs hung back a bit, which was started to hurt his back.
"Must... overcome... pain..." Deadpool unneeded-ly said to give himself confidence, before ceiling crawling stealthily out of the room. There wasn't really anybody in the other room, so he let go of the ceiling, and remembered to land on his feet. He stuck to the shadows, and continued on to find Pinkie's prison cell.
{Alright, let's do a time cut.}
-----
-----
Deadpool looked at a door. It was titled 'Interrogation Room.' In fact, so were all the other ones. Every door and wall and ceiling and floor and fingerprint and his arms have been titled 'Interrogation Room' ever since he found those gloves. He got rid of them, by the way.
{The desperation of Pool-O-Vision. Hmeh.}
Deadpool kicked the door down. Well, no, he didn't. It was really hard steel, so he broke his toes. He fell down, and took a moment to pull them back into place with satisfying 'CRRRRRRRRK' for each toe. He stood up again, and found the door wasn't locked. So he opened the door, and went into the room.
That man that looked like he hadn't slept in years last issue was in there. Tied up to a chair. Deadpool still found something very odd about him... something familiar.
"...Hi." Deadpool said.
"Hello." The man replied.
"...I see you're tied up."
"Yes."
"Did Diane do that?"
"Yes, Pinkie did do that."
"Ah."
"Yes."
"Do you know where she is?"
"Over there." The man nodded his head to Deadpool's left. Deadpool looked left.
[Your other left.]
{That was just...}
Deadpool turned around, to see Pinkie Pie with a very large grin on her face.
"Hi, Pinkie." Deadpool greeted.
"Hey, Wadey!" Pinkie greeted back.
"I don't like New York anymore." He informed.
"They're very weird, and they have that guy over there who reminds me of the Author." Pinkie said, pointing at the man tied up to the chair. Deadpool blinked, and looked at the man.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...?"
"......"
"...No, I don't see the resemblance," Deadpool finally said, "Let's go." And so he and Pinkie left the room, while the man just sat there.
The rope loosens.
"Well, might as well inform Director Fury." The man said.
-----
Deadpool led Pinkie to the Fire Exit he found, which, fortunately, had no guards present. There were about five parachutes. They both took one for each other, while Deadpool held a parachute package for later use. They prepared to jump, when...
"Stop right there, Deadpool!" Came the voice of Samuel L. Jackson. Or Nick Fury.
Deadpool and Pinkie looked back. Sure enough, it was Nick Fury, with a bunch of soldiers behind him, and the creepy man who looks like me keeping to the far left of the group.
{Well... if you jump back, they're going to catch Pinkie with a stun shot, if you throw Pinkie off, you'll be caught with a stun shot, and if you push both of yourselves off, the Author, who is apparently against us now.}
The Dynamic Duo just looked at the group, as the soldiers began to walk closer.
Then a bald eagle flew through the fire exit, and flew around the place, scratching most of the soldiers, including the creepy man, but not Nick Fury. Funny, because the S.H.I.E.L.D logo has a bald eagle on it. While they were distracted, the Triangular Two {What?} both jumped off the Fire Exit of the Helicarrier.
As soon as they left, the bald eagle flew out of the Fire Exit.
Nick Fury's unclaimed eye twitched, then he looked at the nameless creepy man. "What happened?" He asked.
"Why are you asking me? I'm... just an advisor." The man replied. Just an advisor.
-----
Deadpool and Pinkie land on the ground. They look back up at the Helicarrier with a disinterested look. Pinkie felt a tapping on her foot. She looked down, and saw a black cat pawing at her foot. Then it went away.
"Usually in these situations, we have to follow the cat," Pinkie stated. "Let's follow it!" She then ran off after it before Deadpool could protest. So he ran after her.
The cat led them to an apartment. As they went over to higher floors, Deadpool started to find it was getting more familiar. It was only when the cat led them through a door, and Deadpool was about to open the door to the living room, did he realize,
"This is Weasel's apartment." He said out loud.
"Yep." Came another voice. Which Deadpool looked over to. It was Weasel, standing with Fluttershy, who was holding Angel Bunny, Hyper Hamster, and Cutie Rabbit in her arms. And she was human. If Deadpool was able to not concentrate, he'd be admiring her form in a way reminiscent of Yellow Box's desires to view human Pinkie, except in the same room.
Except, Deadpool was, in fact concentrating, and looking Fluttershy directly in the face.
She was not amused.
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To be continued in the next issue.
[WHHHYYYY WHY'D YOU DO IT!?]
You mean... make a character based off of what I would like to be, a person who looks a little bit like how I do in real life, except cool?
[No, we're getting Stared at!]
...Well... she is rather overprotective of her animals.
{...}
...Time warp.
