School of Hard Knocks

by flutterdashforever


Alcohol

Hey there diary, it’s me, Fluttershy. Today school was nice again. I still don’t do that well at science but I got to hang out with Rainbow Dash a lot today. She seems distracted lately. She looks at me funny. I don’t really get it, diary, I’ve been swooning after her for weeks but now that I’m close to her I can’t seem to take that final step. Perhaps it’s that I don’t quite feel ready but I’m not sure. Anyway, the reason I’m writing is because I managed to convince my parents to let me go and help Rainbow settle in to her new place, squee. The day before yesterday was Saturday; Rainbow’s birthday. I didn’t get to see her but I will tonight. She told me today that she’s only got the very basics so far. The landlord is a friend of her parents so she gets a very reasonable rent. All the others went to see her the day she moved in to help out but I was totally swamped with homework. Oh diary, I know they only want the best for me but I really wish my parents weren’t pushing all this extra tuition on to me. I look forward to seeing Rainbow tonight; maybe if I see her again I’ll be able to work out what to do about whatever this is that I’m feeling. I don’t think so, though. I’d better go get ready, I’ll tell you how it went when I get back.

Fluttershy stood and stretched. She removed the yellow pony ears from her head and walked out through the open doorway. Once outside she took off, heading in the direction Rainbow had described after school had finished that day.


“Fluttershy, come in.” Rainbow smiled and held the door open. From inside came the sound of loud, blaring music.

Fluttershy walked inside and looked around. In the corner was a large amplifier. Fluttershy didn’t recognise the song.

“Show me how to lie, you’re getting better all the time,
And turning all against the one, is an art that’s hard to teach,
Another clever words sets off an unsuspecting heard,
And as you step back in to line, a mob jumps to their feet,
So dance fucker dance, man he never had a chance,
And no one even knew it was—” Rainbow held up a small black remote and pressed a button, cutting the amps off mid song.
“Sorry about that, it’s my action music, if that makes any sense. I like to listen to it when I need to get stuff done.”

Fluttershy looked Rainbow up and down. She was wearing a pale blue tank top and short denim pants. There were slight sweat stains under her arms and in the corner of the room was a tacky set of cupboards halfway in to what looked like a decent position.

“Do you need any help with that?” Fluttershy asked tentatively.

“Nah, I’ve got it.” Rainbow paced over to the cupboards and, with one great heave that demonstrated her much higher than average strength, moved them fully in to position. She opened one of the doors and withdrew something. “Have a seat.” She said, back still turned.

Fluttershy saw two old, dusty looking couches, a stubby coffee table between them on which sat two glasses. She sat down.
Rainbow walked over and flopped down on the other seat. She leaned across and poured a golden liquid in to both glasses. She picked up her glass and motioned for Fluttershy to do the same. “Here’s to freedom.” She took a long draft from the glass and hissed between her teeth, grinning. “Wow, forget a penny, you could probably dissolve a diamond in this stuff.”

“I’ve never drunk alcohol before.”

“Then you’re missing out,” said Rainbow, confidently.

Fluttershy raised the glass to her nose and sniffed it. It smelled slightly of apples. She tried to take a long drink as Rainbow had but when the stuff hit her tongue like liquid fire, she choked and almost spat it out. She managed to swallow it and felt the slow burning as it worked its way in to her stomach.

Rainbow cackled at her companion’s reaction. “Applejack’s idea of a combination housewarming and birthday gift."

“It’s strong stuff,” said Fluttershy, her voice still a little croaky.

Rainbow stood and walked back over to the cabinet. “Well I’ve also got vodka, that was from Pinkie, sherry, that was from Derpy who Pinkie brought along, didn’t talk to each other much, though, think they might have had a bit of a tiff, and,” She grinned. “cabinet sauvignon nineteen-ninety-eight, guess who that was from.”

“Which is the mildest?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

A tiny little evil thought occurred to Rainbow at that moment. It had been a trying few days and she felt in need of a good laugh. Besides, it had been weeks since her last really good prank, the opportunity was just begging to be taken. It would all be alright, she wouldn’t let it get out of hand. “Well, vodka is pretty weak stuff; you’d have to drink quite a bit of it before you get too silly, even if it’s your first time.” Rainbow fought to keep a straight face and succeeded.

Fluttershy smiled, unaware of her friend’s deceit. “That sounds good.”

Rainbow returned with the bottle and poured a decent slosh in to Fluttershy’s glass. Fluttershy lifted it to her lips and drank. She smiled when it didn’t cause any immediate flaming insides. She sat back and relaxed against the chair, sighing contentedly. “So why did everyone get you alcohol?”

Rainbow shrugged, relaxing as well. “I dunno. Well, Pinkie was never going to get me anything else and Applejack believes that a good stiff cider fixes everything but I don’t know about Rarity. Perhaps she knew what Applejack was getting and wanted to, I dunno, make a point about fancy wine or something.”

Fluttershy smiled and drained her glass. “It doesn’t look like you’ve got that much stuff to move, it wasn’t too bad was it?” Fluttershy held out her glass and Rainbow, laughing wickedly on the inside, refilled it.

“No, it wasn’t too bad. Applejack is seriously strong, I swear she spends all her free time at the gym.”

“So does this mean that you’re parents have split up for good?”

Rainbow Dash was beginning to sense something was amiss. She began to keep a mental count of how many drinks Fluttershy had drunk. “Yea, I’m not too worried though, dad never really had much time for me anyway.”

As she refilled Fluttershy’s glass, Rainbow thought, two.

“Work related?”

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve just never really felt like he was actually very concerned with my life.”

“That’s sad. I thought you said he was pretty cool when you came out to him.”

“Yea, I guess. Really it’s always been mum I lean on for support. When I came out to dad what he actually said was ‘Remember that having sex with girls doesn’t mean you can’t get sexually transmitted diseases. Always make sure anyone you sleep with has been tested.’ Which I think technically counts as cool but he hasn’t really mentioned it since.” Three. Rainbow was vaguely aware that her head felt a little addled and fuzzy from the drinks she had consumed.

Fluttershy blushed a little but smiled as well. This reminded her of a question she’d wanted to ask Rainbow for a while now. “Have you ever actually, you know, had a girlfriend before?”

Rainbow frowned distractedly. She picked up the vodka bottle and examined it closely. She wouldn’t have put it past Pinkie to drink the vodka herself and then refill the bottle with water just to mess with Rainbow. She sniffed the contents; it smelled like vodka, she sipped it; it tasted like vodka, she looked at Fluttershy who was now blushing. “Sorry?”

“Is everything alright?” Fluttershy asked, draining another glass and passing it to Rainbow, who refilled it dreamily.

“Oh, um, yes, everything’s fine. Um, sorry, girlfriend.” Rainbow managed to pull her focus back together. “No, I haven’t.”

“You said you’ve kissed boys, though,” Fluttershy persisted.

Rainbow snorted, finishing her fifth glass of the stiff apple cider before she replied. “Yea, just because all of my friends were and I wanted to fit in. It was always unpleasant and… wet” Yes, she was definitely starting to feel the effects of the alcohol now.

“But how did you do it? You know, just waltz up and kiss them?”

“Oh, you know men.” Rainbow was slurring her words slightly, the five cups of cider queuing up to impair her cognitive functioning. “Any girl halfway pretty who tries to kiss ‘em and they’re sold. To be ‘pletely honest with you Shy, keeping ‘em off was the real hassle.”

Fluttershy smiled as her friend became noticeably less sober. “I hope they didn’t do anything inappropriate,” she said, earnestly.

“Oh, no. I would’ve kicked them in fork so hard they’d suddenly go deaf if they’d tried any funny business.” In fact what Rainbow actually said hasn’t been directly quoted here as it was vulgar and likely to cause offence. Be assured that, were Rainbow sober, this would be the version she would say.

Fluttershy held a hand over her mouth, shocked at her friend’s language. “Rainbow, I think you should probably slow down a little, or maybe switch to the vodka.”

Rainbow smiled slightly and tried to remember how many drinks Fluttershy had now drunk. Five? It’s either five or six. “Wouldn’t want to deprive you,” she said, kindly.

Fluttershy shook her head and tried to bring her attention back to the conversation. “So what you’re telling me is that you just waltzed up to a boy and kissed him? Didn’t he object?”

“Like I said; keeping ‘em off was the trouble. I had plenty of boys who would have kissed me.” Rainbow frowned in to her glass. “No girls though.... I was the only person I knew who was gay up until I met you.”

“But I thought Pinkie was bi.”

Rainbow waved a hand a little unsteadily. “Pah! Bi! Being bi is like- is like- is like playing football but not actually choosing a side. You just run around the pitch, see, kicking the ball in whatever direction takes your fancy. Sometimes you kick it to someone from one team, then you kick it to someone on another team. It’s disloyal and awfully fucking confusing.”

Fluttershy looked at the cider bottle sitting on the table, it was nearly half empty. “Rainbow are you feeling ok?”

“I’m fine. How are you holding up?”

Fluttershy thought for a moment. Vodka must be really weak stuff, of course, she’d never had alcohol before so she didn’t exactly know what it was supposed to feel like. “I don’t feel anything yet.”

Rainbow shook her head. This was incredible. “Not any… sort of… oh fuck it.” she shrugged. “s’probably not impor- impor- im- it’s probly nothing.”

A brief silence followed in which Rainbow finished off another glass. At last Fluttershy broke the silence. “What’s it like? Kissing I mean.”

Rainbow looked thoughtful. “Kissing boys or kissing girls?”

Fluttershy blushed. “Kissing girls,” she said, meekly.

“Well I don’t speak from ‘great deal of s’perience but…” She paused, thinking or at least, coming as close to thinking as she could have given her blood alcohol levels. “S’like, um.” All at once she leaned forwards and captured Fluttershy’s lips in a gentile kiss. It was soft and sweet, tasting lightly of apples. Fluttershy’s heart felt like it was doing a tango in her chest, time seemed to stand still, all there was, all there ever would be, was this moment, this shining, beautiful moment. After what was both an eternity and a few seconds, Rainbow pulled away. She considered for a moment, then said quietly and tenderly, “It feels like that.”

Fluttershy was completely caught off guard, her heart was thudding and her chest felt a little constricted. She sat in shocked silence for a while. When she spoke, her voice was awed and filled with certainty. “I want to do that again.”

“So do I, Shy, so do I. kissing is pretty awesome.”

“Then kiss me,” said Fluttershy, almost too quietly to hear.

Rainbow leaned forward hovering close enough that Fluttershy could smell the enticing scent of apples that hung tantalisingly on her friend’s breath. “Fluttershy… I think…” At that moment, something bobbed to the surface of Rainbow’s brain. It was a tiny little thought that whispered to do something sensible. “Maybe in the morning, right now drunk both we’re excessively…” Rainbow moved her lips thoughtfully. “Or you are at least and I don’t want you annoyed at me later when I let you do something stupid while you were drunk that I was shober enough to prevent.”

Fluttershy looked thoughtfully at the empty bottle of vodka on the table. Her head did feel a little fuzzy but it wasn’t effecting her thinking. She was still absolutely sure that she wanted to kiss Rainbow again. She did, however, have to consent that Rainbow was at that stage of being drunk where anything seems like a good idea and the phrase ‘You’ll regret it later.’ holds absolutely no sway.

“Alright, I’ll head home.”

“Oh no you won’t, missy. You’re way to fly to be drunking. You’re going to sleep here tonight and head home in the morning once you’ve shobered up.

“Alright, if you say so.”

“Bed’s this way. You’ll have to share with me tonight. It’ll be a little cramped but you’ll survive.” Rainbow walked off without checking if Fluttershy was following.

Fluttershy smiled and got to her feet. She didn’t know why but the thought sharing a bed with Rainbow made her very happy. She didn’t like to think of what the morning would be like, but between that moment and having to deal with what had happened, was a night in Rainbow’s bed. Things were looking up.



Authors notes: Yay for drunken Flutterdash kiss! *Does drunk ponies dance.* I hope this chapter doesn't come off as too cliche as I've been planning it ever since I had the whole, 'Fluttershy doesn't get drunk' idea. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Yea, I might kinda have stayed up late and wrote this whole chapter in one go... by the end I don't care to think how much I probably sounded like Rainbow. Anyway, sorry to pull an IMBTFOLPO on you but I promise it won't happen again. I just liked the idea of having Rainbow listening to that song ever since I saw a youtube called "Gonna go far kid Rainbow Dash." The song is called "Gonna go far kid." and it is by "The Offspring." Hope you enjoyed this chapter.