The Klondike Bar

by 1337Pony

A Great Loss

Hate flowed through me. My hand clenched into fist, making my fingers and knuckles turn white
from the pressure.

The creature in front of me had done the unthinkable. An unforgivable sin, something so foul that every atom in my body told me to kill whoever caused this tragedy.

A white substance (giggity) was splattered onto the grass below me. Bits and pieces of chocolate were spread around the mixture. The picture below me was etched into my mind. The Klondike bar was mercilessly murdered, and the perpetrator shall play.

The life of the Klondike bar replayed through my head. My first true love, our first kiss, and session after session of consensual sex. All of it, gone, wiped away from history.

I looked up from the crime scene to the small pony that looked at me with shocked eyes. Now I had never seen a technicolor pony before, at least not in real life. I was a strong brony, although I still acted as any other sane individual would.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT” I yelled. I recognized the purple, or rather lavender, creature in front of me to be Twilight Sparkle. I examined her people eyes that held the same shock that were in mine. It seemed I wasn’t the only one that was scared shitless.

“H-who are, how-” was all Twilight could manage before she fainted.

I sighed. At least now I had a little time to figure out what the hell happened. I looked one more time at the Klondike bar on the floor. I grimaced as I began heading downstairs. Once the reached the bottom floor I found what appeared to be paper towels and began heading back up.

“Twilight!” came Spike’’s voice from upstairs.

Shit, looks like I forgot about something. By instinct I ran up the steps back into Twilight’s room. There I was Spike shaking Twilight’s body, that seemed to be waking up.

“Twilight please wake up!” Spike said frantically, his voice beginning to choke up. I could see tears forming at the edges of Spike’s eyes. Spike finally noticed me through his peripheral vision.

“What the...YOU DID THIS DIDN’T YOU!” Spike yelled, anger filling his voice. He began to slowly walk towards me, his nostrils flaring, causing wisps of green flame to come out.

M’kay brain, give me some options here. Run? Nope, can’t go outside and risk giving half of Ponyville a heart attack. Fight? I could probably take Spike on, but it would create more problems than it would solve. Stay and hold my ground? A pretty shit plan, but still the best I could come up with.

“Look Spike, I don’t know how I got here. Twilight just got surprised and fainted. I didn’t do anything to her. I swear.” I said calmly, trying not to escalate the situation.

“Why should I believe you, and how do you know me and Twilight’s names?!” Spike snapped back at me.

“I’m a friend. Just please trust me, I mean no harm.” As I said this I raised up my hands.

“You promise?” Spike said, the anger seeming to leave his body.

“I promise.”

“Well, uhh, I’m sorry about how I got kinda angry at you.” Spike replied, rubbing his hand on the back of his head.

“It’s fine. You were just trying to protect someone you love. I understand.” Images of the Klondike bar flashed in my head.

“Cool. And what... exactly are you?”

“I’m a human.”

“What’s a human?”

“A terrible species. Most of us have hate and destruction in our instinct.” Which is exactly why I didn’t interact with humans anymore. Only frozen delicacies could be trusted.

“Well you seem nothing like that. I mean you aren’t are you?”

“Of course not. I said most of us are like that, not all.”

My train of thought was interrupted by light scratching noises. I looked over to the source of it to see Twilight writing on a piece of paper by levitating a paper and quill.

“Well don’t mind me, keep talking.” Twilight said quickly.

I facepalmed. I scooped out what was left of the Klondike bar with the paper towel I still held in my hand and walked out of the room.

“Where are you going!?” Twilight yelled after me.

“I’m going to bury my lover!” I yelled right back.

“What!?” Twilight asked in a shocked tone.

I ignored her and made my way to the bathroom. Once I had reached it I went inside and closed the door behind me. I put down the cream-covered paper towel into the toilet.

“Look Shelly, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but you’ve always been there for me. You have been my support, my lover, and my best friend. I will always miss you, the way you smile, and the way the sunlight glistened off you when it was hot. Goodbye. I love you.”

Tears were now flowing freely down my face and dripping down onto what was my former companion. I stood there for what seemed like an eternity, unable to take my eyes from the toilet.

In a sudden movement I reached out to the hande of the toilet and pulled it. I managed to pull my eyes from the toilet to avoid the gut-wrenching scene. I stayed in the restroom until my eyes cleared up.

Once I was completely ready, or as ready as I could be in my state of loss, I went back to Twilight’s room. When I entered I could see Spike and Twilight whispering to each other on thes other side of the room.

“Hello again.” I stated flatly.

“Um... hi. Sorry about your ice-cream.” Twilight said, blushing slightly.

“I guess when it’s your time to go it’s your time to go.”

“Well, do you mind if I asked you a few question?” Twilight said while beginning to levitate the quill and paper again.

“Sure, go ahead.” I didn’t really have much else to do. Besides, there are a lot of things I want to learn about Equestria. Better yet, how the hell to explain how I know all of this. I don’t think they’ll take their reality being a T.V. show very well.

“So, I guess let’s start off with the basics. Humans have many theories about how we came to be. One is that it started with a HUUUGE explosion! And then other stuff happened.”

Me and Twilight remained talking for quite a while. Shortly into our studies Spike headed out of the room, probably to go off to sleep.

I knew he didn’t like staying up past him bedtime. I didn’t realize how tired I was until began yawning more often than talking. I asked Twilight where I could sleep and she said there was an extra bed in the basement.

I headed downstairs and threw my body on the bed that was more than just a little small for me. I immediately fell asleep.