//------------------------------// // The Earl of Pearls // Story: Unscrewing Herself // by Mr. SexSymbol //------------------------------// Hours prior Discord's Release: 4 "Chocolate rain? That's impossible!" Tesa cried out. She opened the carriage door and stuck her head out, looking up to the sky. She then opened her mouth and let several drops fall in. Just as Merry had said, the rain was thicker than water and tasted like chocolate. "Not impossible but illogical." Merry reasoned, still staring at the empty cup. The pitter patter was the only sound that was made when they then looked at each other, thinking of what this could mean. "Chocolate rain... it sounds... familiar to me for some reason." The light plum colored mare closed her eyes and began to hum and tune. "Chocolate rain..." "Merry...this is no time for singing, let's just tell the guy pulling us to go back for now. This is just too weird," Tesa muttered, shivering and glancing from the two small rounded windows. Merry sighed. "No no. I want to make my message clear to the earl and for that I need to do that in person." Tesa shook her head. "Listen, Merry... I just don't feel safe here. Let's return home." "Nonsense!" She shouted, "We will not stop. Now you there outside, hasten, pick up speed, go faster, mush!" The carriage didn't change pace and Merry's face scrunched up in confusion. "Perhaps he didn't hear me." Merry opened the side door and stuck her head outside. "Steed, pick up the pace I have to... be...?" Her command rolled off her tongue and slowed to a stop. There was nopony there. Yet the carriage was moving on it's own. The ground was soaked with milk and Merry peered down at it, thinking that maybe the stallion that was pulling them before had turned invisible or something. No hoof prints. She slowly pulled herself back inside and shut the door before looking at her accompanying friend. "We'll be there shortly." Something unnatural is happening... This rain and this enchanted ride. I'm quite sure that Tesa had nothing to do with it. Tesa smiled cheerfully. "Oh good... I'd rather return home but if we're really that close than it's fine by me to keep going." They both suddenly jumped in their seats when the loud clash of thunder boomed from above. The blue unicorn whimpered, "Hurry up, hurry! I hate lighting storms!" "Don't worry! Keep calm and trust in me. We'll be at the earl's estate in several minutes." Tesa shook her head. "A few minutes? You just picked me up from the cemetery. There's no way we could make it there in a few minutes." Merry didn't reply and simply laid back and closed her eyes. "You know Tesa... I've noticed that you're quite the complainer." "I've noticed that you've been more talkative." She retorted, scrunching up her snout. Merry's eyes snapped open. "You're right. Absolutely right. Whatever happened to that quiet, brooding mare who rarely left her room? Just last night, before I slept, I decided to send a letter denying the Earl to combine our business." She worriedly looked at Tesa. "Yet here I am." Tesa glanced around, unsure where this was going. Merry suddenly grabbed Tesa by her shoulders and brought her close. "Look at me! My eyes. Is there anything wrong with my eyes? Abnormal colors, an excess in visible veins, anything?" She spoke rapidly, as if afraid. "Miss, calm do-" "I will NOT calm down! I must be under some spell. Do I sound normal to you?" She shouted, her grip tightening. "N-no..." "Now tell me! My eyes? Coat color? Anything different about me, excluding my behavior, anything strange?" The carriage went silent once more for some time as Tesa examined McScrew closely. Merry nervously tapped her hoof against the seat, blinking rapidly and trembling. If it's under a spell I bet it's that Earl. He wants my orchard for his own... for his... reasons. Whatever they may be. He must have sent a spellcaster and made me all jittery. What will become of me? This is not me... Tesa sat back and looked all over Merry and then sighed, shaking her head. "I see nothing." "Truly?" "I would never lie to you. You know that. I'm your friend," Tesa said, smiling and extending her hoof. Merry glanced down at it and back to her, starting to extend her own. "... So am I." Just before they could touch, the carriage made a sudden stop. The two mares inside screamed and hung on desperately to their seats to keep themselves from falling over. "Miss McScrew! You have reached Canterlot's West Earl, Hulio Pearlington!" A deep voice called from outside. Merry sat up straight. "Oh! He's back!" Tesa raised an eyebrow. "Who?" "Uh, never mind me. Just ah..." Merry remembered that she had not told Tesa of how the stallion who was their carriage puller had strangely disappeared. Tesa shrugged. "Right, so shall I carry the barrel out back?" Merry looked at Tesa's skinny weak body, worried and shocked that she would even ask that. "Oh no, it would be too heavy for you. Why no-" Tesa looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. "I have magic. Don't worry about me! Focus on getting your point across with this Hulio. Tell him 'No! You can't have the orchard and we have no deal! Hmph!'" Merry shut the door to the carriage. "Do I have to say 'Hmph?'" The barrel that was tied to the back of the carriage glowed a light blue and was lifted off, floating several inches about the ground. "If you want. Maybe give him a slap or two?" Tesa jeered, grinning. Merry laughed. "I don't see why not." She then left Tesa to prepare the plum barrel to get inside the carriage once for a mirror. Merry reached down under her seat and pulled back a shelf, picking up a small red rimmed mirror. She took the little time she had to ready herself for the earl. As much as she disliked him for being a bothersome pest, it was a necessary social standard to present herself in such a formal matter. Also Bruce and Tesa had spent some time and energy fitting this dress on to her, at the very least she could go through this whole ordeal for them. Merry quickly bounced her puffy white mane into shape with her hooves and quickly put the mirror back in it's place. Just before she hopped out of the carriage, Merry felt a chill go down her spine. She turned around quickly and looked around the interior of the carriage. Red velvet covered the walls, looking like plump little bumps. The seats were just made of simple wood and painted over with gold. Carvings were made on the seats, like roots digging through the ground. A small lantern hung from the top, lit by an airless magical fire. Merry squinted, unsure what had made her feel so uneasy... Oh you will do quite nicely... "Ah!" She gasped, and looked around her surroundings for the voice. Outside, something black moved in the distance, beyond the trees. Merry got out of the carriage and trotted closer to the small cluster of trees peering in. Something was there, something dark and fearful, something unnatural... Merry leaned in, pushing aside some brush for a closer look when... "AHA! MISS MERRY MCSCREW!" The hearty voice of the Earl boomed out right behind her. Soon followed by an earsplitting scream loud enough to scare off the birds in the trees. The Earl began to laugh as Merry fell back down from jumping up in the air after being startled. The mare landed down on the ground on her backside, quickly rolling over before the dress fell down and revealed her blank flank to him. Her face burning she stood up straight and huffed, in a rather delicate and yet agitated sort of way. "Hulio..." Merry seethed. Hulio Pearlington, Canterlot's West Earl and adviser to Princess Celestia herself, bowed with dignity. A white Earth Pony like Merry, Hulio was wearing an expensive looking vest of blue and red. His mane a very light brown, a dirty blonde actually, and was characterized by a large pompadour. Though he boasted to all he was stocked and barrel chested, Merry knew better that he was actually fat and the vest her wore only gave him that appearance. "Ahaha... Oh Madam McScrew, you should have seen the look on your face! What were you doing out over here darling? Did you see a cute squirrel or something?" Pearlington chuckled, patting his huge hoof on her back. Her dress rumpled a bit where he touched her and she puffed up her cheeks angrily. Hulio had known the McScrew family for years and was good friends with Merry's father, Plump McScrew. Of course as she had expected, the Earl was treating her like a filly and it annoyed Merry. "Yes yes, shall we carry on with business then? I have a... tight schedule and you're just offering up a delay." She moved his hoof off her back and placed her own up beside her mouth to shout. "Tesa! Follow Hulio and I inside, let's get this deal done and over with." Merry then returned her attention to the Earl. "Tell me. Why are you so interested in my plums that you tried to buy off the entire orchard for the past ten years?" Her hoof was jabbing at his squishy chest as she said the last four words. The rich colt grinned, a smile that unnerved her. "Ahh... that. That is something I'll have to show you my pretty. Words cannot explain it alone. Come with me to my study and all your questions will be answered." He winked at her and Merry simply rolled her eyes. "Very well, lead." The Earl's castle was one of the grandest of the six castles of Canterlot, the other three belonging to the other earls, one where the princess sisters resided, and the last was combined with a musician academy where thousands upon thousands of ponies crowded to listen to the fine songs by the students. The castle was old and nopony owned it, thus it was made into a school and a concert for music lovers everywhere. As for the Earl's not so humble abode, the castle was made completely out of marble. As the sunlight shone over the clean surface of the white stone, it sparkled brightly. Carved into the sides of the castle was the Earl's emblem, a clam with a large pearl within it's bed. Tesa quietly ooh'ed and aah'ed as they entered the front iron gate and gazed at the garden. Flowers of many kinds littered the grass and small patches of water were seen here and there. The three of them trotted along a small granite roadway laid out before the castle, two streams trickling right beside them. Merry kept her own astonishment to herself, her face unchanged. She didn't want to give the Earl anything that would annoy her. Such as "Oh I see you enjoy my garden, only cost me a few million to get these rare breeds growing in this type of climate" or "Marble, dear, marble is what makes this palace so grand!" Anything that would get him going on and on and on... That still didn't stop the stallion from going on ahead and blab. "Oh my beautiful filly, it's wondrous, ever so wondrous! Did you know that certain acids in fruit can effect the texture, color, and size of a pearl? Simply delightful!" He exclaimed. The three of them passed the grand door to the castle and entered the foyer. A massive marble staircase to the second floor was the first thing the two mares saw, it was covered in a ocean blue carpet. A shining statue of the Earl, all masculine and muscular, stood proudly in the middle of the foyer in the first floor. Something told Merry that it was made of marble, everything else was so why not this? Tesa gazed on it for several moments when the Earl side stepped beside her. "I see you enjoy gazing upon my form of perfection. Made completely out of my finest pearls," Merry frowned. "An exceptional piece of mastery. Or as you say, a masterpiece!" The Earl chuckled to himself as he marvel the statue for several moments. "Now then!" He beckoned for them up the stairs. "As I was saying, I have discovered that several fruits can change the property of my pearls. Oranges can make them bumpy and shine like the sun. Cherries fling off a sexy red and Zap Apples are, dare I say it, shocking!" The Earl giggled to himself, Tesa laughing weakly alongside him. Merry pouted, not exactly seeing where this is going. "As for your plums dear, ooh after a taste, I knew I had to try them on my pearls! Though that encounter with the McScrew Family Brand Plums was an excellent one, my favorite vest was left with a horrible stain that would not go away... Oh well, I can always buy a new one, eh? Heh hey!" Merry rolled her eyes once again. "Applying fruit juice to pearls sounds like a pointless idea to me. Who would buy jewelry drenched in juice? Especially once ponies learn that any pony could just dunk their pea-" A mare with no talent, the one who's heart is as cold as ice. Wonder what it will be when it is ME who makes things with a little more... spice! Merry McScrew stopped in her tracks, sucking her breath in when she heard the voice, that VOICE, once again. Tesa had the barrel floating right in front of her so she could not see Merry right in front of her. The blue unicorn accidentally bumped right into her friend, causing the top of the barrel to pop up and let a ripe fat plum fall out. The soft tender flesh of the violet fruit exploded over the pure white cloudy mane of Merry McScrew.