“Uhhh, what are y'all doin’ here?" In front of Applejack were four full-grown stallions lying on top of each other and laughing; she wanted to know which emotion to use for yelling at them.
The group immediately rose up. Big Macintosh, Carrot Cake, and Braeburn shifted their heads to Caramel, who could talk his way out of any situation.
Caramel spoke up. “Oh, it’s simple, Applejack. You see, Braeburn wants to become a professional wrestler, but he doesn’t have anyone to practice sparring with. Big Macintosh wanted to help, so he mailed a letter to Braeburn about sparring with him at the barn. Carrot and I were intrigued, so we came to. While wrestling, the four of us accidentally bumped into each other and tripped, thus putting us in the situation you saw before.”
Applejack breathed out a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat off her forehead. “Fyuu, Ah thought y'all were doin’ somethin’ else, but why were y'all laughing?”
“Big Macintosh farted.”
“Hey!”
“Well, alrighty then! Ah better leave now, don’t wanna interrupt your rasslin’!” Applejack left the barn and took in a deep breath of fresh air.
“Great job, Caramel! You got us out of another tough spot,” The amber pony smiled and blushed at Carrot’s compliment. “…unlike other ponies.” Carrot turned to Braeburn.
“What? It was just a pony pile on Big Mac. By the way, could I live here for a while, BM? The next train trip to Appleloosa won’t be scheduled until next week.”
“Eeyup.”
“Fantastic! Ah’m gonna go to the guest room right now!” Quickly, Braeburn galloped out of the barn.
“Well, I should probably head back to Sugar Cube Corner now. I don’t want to make Cup angry.”
“Yeah, I should probably head back to.”
Carrot and Caramel left the barn, leaving Big Macintosh all by himself.
“Tomorrow’s gonna be a special day.”
-------
Big Macintosh advanced to Fluttershy’s cottage, contemplating on how great this day was going to be. With him was a bouquet of dandelions in hoof and a seemingly uncomfortable suit. Today’s the day! Ah’m finally going to propose to Fluttershy! Ah really should thank Caramel for making a reservation at Fine Wine to Dine. Too bad Ah have to wear this stupid suit. Why did Ah borrow Carrot’s suit, the darn thing doesn’t even fit?! Oh, Ah’m already here. With two knocks at the door, it opened instantaneously, as if Big Mac was expected. Big Macintosh frowned, for the one that unlocked the door was Angel, Fluttershy’s spoiled, but caring, pet bunny.
“Uhh, howdy, is Fluttershy ready to go?”
Angel never liked his master dating Big Macintosh, so he gave him a swift kick to the hoof, it had no effect.
“Pssh, like that would hurt me. Besides Angel, you’re probably going to see me for a long time after this day; don’t ya wanna be friends?” Big Macintosh placed the bouquet on the ground and whipped out his hoof, offering the twisted bunny a truce.
Angel whipped his paw out, reached for the hoof in front of him, and shifted to the bouquet of dandelions. With the bouquet in his paw, Angel opened his mouth wide open and sloppily devoured all the flowers.
“Why, you little…”
“Hello, Big Macintosh. I’m ready to go.”
The crimson stallion regained his composure without delay as soon as he heard Fluttershy’s angelic voice.
“Okay then, let’s…wow.” Big Macintosh’s eyes wandered, analyzing Fluttershy’s stunning dress. It was just a simple, yet elegant, black dress that accentuated the curves on her delicate body. “You look beautiful.”
Fluttershy’s yellow face turned into a light pink. “Oh… my, thank you. I can’t wait to go to that fancy restaurant with you.”
“Eeyup, let’s go.”
-------
“Welcome to Fine Wine to Dine, the greatest Prench restaurant in Ponyville, and no, I don’t like the name. The owner just likes bad rhymes and puns. Do you have a reservation?"
“Eeyup, the name’s Big Macintosh.”
“Oh, here it is. I shall show you and the mare to your table.” The host escorted the couple to their table, complete with plates, silverware, and romantic candles. “Your waiter will appear shortly.”
“Wow, Big Macintosh, this place sure is fancy. How’d you ever get a reservation at a place like this?”
“Well, you can thank mah good friend…Caramel?!”
“Hello, lovebirds. I shall be your waiter this evening. My name is Caramel.”
Big Mac scowled. “We know who ya are. What are you doing here?”
Caramel kept a composed look on his face. “I’ll have you know that I just got hired here today. I must say, being a waiter isn’t so bad. The staff is polite, the atmosphere’s peaceful, and the customers tip quite generously.”
“Congratulations, Caramel. I feel so happy for you.”
“Why, thank you, Fluttershy.” The newly-hired waiter leaned to Big Macintosh and whispered, “Don’t worry. I’ll help you.”
“What do ya mean by ‘help’, you sayin’ that Ah can’t propose by mahself?”
“Not at all, I’m talking about the road getting there. I’ve seen your dates before, and they’re usually pretty quiet. You’re not exactly a conversationalist, and one does not simply drop the proposal bomb. I’m here to help you casually talk with Fluttershy until you decide to propose.”
“Ah like ya better when you’re shy.”
“I work at a restaurant now; I can’t afford to be shy. Trust me, when I leave this place, my self-confidence is going to go down fast.”
“Um, what are you two talking about?” asked a confused Fluttershy.
“Oh, nothing. Are you ready to order?”
“Yes, I’ll have the ratatouille.”
“And you, Big Macintosh?”
“Uhhh…” Damn! Ah don’t know anything about this place. What should Ah order?! “Ah, too, will have the rat-patooty.”
“Okay, your food will appear shortly. What about your drinks?”
Big Mac smiled. He knew what to order this time. “We would like two glasses of your finest wine.”
“Um, Big Macintosh, I actually don’t want any wine. I can’t really handle alcohol.”
Caramel spoke up. “How about I get you two the amazing Apple Family cider instead?”
“Yes please, thank you so much.”
The farm pony rolled his eyes. “Yeah, thanks Caramel.”
-------
Tables away from the couple, two peculiar ponies spied on the muscular earth pony’s dinner with the beautiful pegasus.
“Why do we have to be here, Braeburn?”
“Ah told you already, Carrot, we’re here to watch BM propose to Fluttershy.”
“And why do I have to be dressed like a mare? Why can’t you be dressed like this?!” Carrot Cake donned a frilly blue and pink dress. The bottom half puffed out much like the dresses in Granny Smith’s time. The design was just awful, but the stitching was fabulous! To make the disguise more convincing, the baker dolled himself up with makeup, eyeliner, lipstick, and a curly orange wig similar to Pinkie Pie’s mane.
“It’s because you’re married. If Ah wore the dress, ponies might believe that you’re cheating on your wife, but if you wore the dress, then nopony knows who you are, and it looks like Ah’m just on another date.”
Carrot paused and uttered, “You smart bastard.”
-------
Caramel walked up to the sweethearts. “I’m sorry, but the ratatouille isn’t prepared yet. Here are your drinks and some complimentary croissants.”
“Thank you, Caramel. You really are an excellent waiter.”
“No problem Fluttershy.” The amber pony angled towards Big Mac. “Ask her about her friends. She loves her friends.”
The soon-to-be husband nodded. “So Fluttershy, what do ya think about your friends?”
“Oh, they’re great…”
-------
“Carrot, have you tried these croissants?! They’re out of this world!” Braeburn was scarfing down those croissants faster than Angel devouring a lovely bouquet of flowers.
“Not now, Braeburn. Caramel, we’ll both have the ratatouille.”
“An excellent choice.”
“So how’s their date doing?” pried Braeburn, who still had food in his mouth.
“Pretty good, so far. I can’t help but feel like I’m forgetting something though, something that could totally ruin Big Macintosh’s proposal.”
“Don’t sweat it, Caramel. It’s not like Big Mac will see Carrot, Ah mean Cici, bust a gut, and die from laughter.”
Cici interrupted their conversation. “I really hate this dress. Thanks for not laughing, Caramel.”
“No problem, but I should probably warn Big Macintosh.”
-------
“…and then Rainbow Dash swooped down, did a Sonic Rainboom, and saved Rarity and the Wonderbolts!” Fluttershy finished her story, obviously ecstatic about reliving those events.
“Wow that really is a great story. Oh look, Caramel’s finally here with our food.”
On Caramel’s back sat a large platter containing four smaller plates of ratatouille. They smelled heavenly. “Here’s your magnificent appetizer, and Big Macintosh, here are some napkins in case of a mess.”
Big Mac noticed a strange scribble on one of the napkins. It read:
Propose now! I fear that something bad is going to happen.
The farm pony took a bite of his ratatouille, which was delicious, and acted immediately. “Fluttershy, Ah need to tell you something right now.”
“Oh, what is it Big Macintosh?”
“Fluttershy, thill thoo tharry thee?”
“What?”
-------
“Here you go, gentlecolts, your ratatouille.”
Carrot had a worried expression on his face. “Um, Caramel, I saw that you gave Big Mac and Fluttershy the same thing.”
“Yeah, so?”
“Don’t you remember?! Big Mac is allergic to cucumber! We need to help him before he starts reacting!”
“What?” Caramel realized his huge mistake. “Oh no! I’m so sorry, I totally forgot! Carrot, Braeburn, come with me right now!”
Braeburn objected. “Later! Ah wanna eat me some rat-patooty!”
The duo dragged Braeburn by his vest and headed to Big Mac.
-------
“Ah thed, thill thoo tharry thee?”
“Umm…”
Suddenly, Caramel, Braeburn, and Carrot barged in their discussion.
“I’m so sorry Fluttershy, but Braeburn and his marefriend came here saying that Granny Smith needed Big Macintosh for an Apple Family emergency.” The trio snatched the stallion and ran off.
Fluttershy tilted her head to the side. “Um, what just happened?”
-------
“What do we do now?! It looks like Big Mac ain’t breathing!” screamed the cowpony as the threesome carried Big Macintosh. They were running and panicking, but they didn’t know where to go.
“I don’t know!” yelled the cross-dressing baker, “Maybe we should try CPR!”
Braeburn flinched and stoically exclaimed, “Ah’m sorry, everypony. We did all that we could.”
“Shut up, Braeburn! Caramel, what should we do?!”
“Let’s go to the hospital!”
-------
“Ugh, where am I?” The crimson stallion awoke in a room that wasn’t his own. Thermometers, tongue depressors, needles, and boring magazines surrounded him. Ah’m at the hospital.
Noticing the stallion’s deep voice, Nurse Redheart walked in. “You’re finally awake. Your friends and family are in the waiting room, they’ve been worried sick.”
“What happened?”
“Apparently, you accidentally ate some cucumber and had an allergic reaction.”
“That rat-patooty had cucumber? Never goin’ back there again.”
“You should really thank your friends. They rushed you in here and waited all night for you to get better.”
“Sure thing, nurse. Ah’m gonna leave now.” Big Mac got up from the hospital bed and headed to the door.
“Before you leave, I have to tell you something, Big Macintosh.”
“Eeyup?”
“Don’t be so stupid next time.”