Ponies on Bronies

by Ravenmane


18 - The Mare From the Moon

“Hey,” called a voice, “you awake Al?”

Slowly my eyes creaked open, revealing a prismatic haze before me. “What’s going on?” My head was pounding, but it was far more manageable than it could’ve been.

“I uh,” Rainbow cleared her throat, “I wanna get up and you’re using me as a pillow.”

That explains a few things, I thought as I got off of her. As I looked around the bed there was no sign of Twilight. “Where’s Twi?”

“She doesn’t wanna get out of the bathroom,” she explained. “She’s not listening to me or Spike so hope ya can do better. Good night all things considered.” She hopped down and checked her wings over quickly. “Oh yeah and Spike had a letter for you, left it on the nightstand.”

I stretched and kept my eyes on Rainbow as she trotted over to the mirror, but what caught my eyes were the lacy, cream colored, thigh high socks on her hind legs.

“Like what you see,” asked Rainbow as she caught my glare in the mirror.

“Trying to remember last night a bit more is all.”

“Yeah well we did drink a bit, nothing like back on Earth, but still… there’s everything else so I can imagine wanting to wrap your head around it better.”

I kinda remembered the wine, the movies, a few dirty jokes. As I continued to put the previous night back together it finally dawned on me…

~~~~~

A handful of hours earlier…

“Got a question Al,” said a merrily intoxicated Rainbow. “Bronies and drinking, what gives with that stuff?”

“That’s just a cheap joke,” answered Twilight from my other side. “Alex would never take advantage of us like that.”

Rainbow got up on her hind legs and wrapped her forelegs around my neck before sticking her tongue out at Twilight. “Wanna make the joke right tonight Al?”

“Hey, shouldn’t you wait until he’s a pony?”

“Oh don’t be such a stick in the mud Twi, we’re adults, we live together, let’s get down and dirty already. ‘Sides thought you were sending signals all the time we had that picnic we had before it got super cold.”

“Fine,” she grumbled, “you’re getting a purging spell before we get upstairs though.”

“Wait, you wanna wait til we’re upstairs before doin it? Why not just strip him and get to it right here?”

Twilight responded by hoisting Rainbow with her magic. “Spike’s bedroom is right above us. There’s no need to wake him up if we can’t dive under the covers.”

~~~~~

Rainbow waved her hoof in front of my face. “Remember Twi’s spell?”

“Something like making us more aware of stuff despite drinking right? I mean she made sure none of us were under the influence after casting it on you.” Last night was something that was interesting, the kind of interesting where words don’t do any justice.

“Mmm-hm,” Rainbow replied as she pulled one of her socks off. “Think it’s strange? You know my socks and stuff.”

“Not as much as Twi’s stuff.”

“Yeah, what gives with all that junk?” Both of us peered over to the open chest and the saddle hanging out of it with ‘Sparkle’ written out in amethysts. “Kinda thought she’d be a bit more, ya know, not into kinky stuff.” She grabbed her remaining sock between her teeth and pulled it off.

“Yeah, well what’s so kinky about socks and panties?”

Rainbow replied with a deadpan stare, her sock now cast aside. “Entice what’s being covered up. Sides, you didn’t seem to mind. Brings me back to my question, do you like what you see?”

“I’d like it a little more if you and Twilight were acting a bit like last night.”

As Rainbow’s face went red, I heard an unmistakable ‘eeep’ from in the bathroom.

“We uh, well we were drinking,” Dash tried to explain away. “Sure, I kinda egged Twilight to go along but the alcohol or something was gettin us to think all sortsa things. Besides you weren’t being all prudish either, encouraging us and stuff.”

I snickered, knowing most of that was BS. “How about you get to breakfast while I try and get Twilight out of the bathroom?”

Rainbow gave a weak chuckle. “No sweat.” She got up and trotted out of the room, but not before giving a fake stretch at the door. “Spike’s off running some errands so I’ll just clean up after eating.”

*****

After grabbing my boxers and the letter, I slunk out of bed and over to the bathroom door. “Twi,” I asked to the door as I sat in front of it.

“Yes,” she replied meekly from the other side.

“So… riding crops and saddles eh?”

“I’m weird aren’t I?”

“It’s okay Twi but you want to experiment already?”

“Uh-huh, I want to know what’s comfortable for all of us and what’s going too far.”

“But a jewel studded saddle with your name on it? Are you sure that’s just an ‘experiment’ Twi?”

“If you were okay with it then why not be a little personalized?” I could hear her nervously clopping her hooves together. “Should I have been all secretive about a box crammed with socks and panties like Rainbow?”

I smirked to the bedroom. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

“Would you rather stuff like that?”

“Dashie’s right, it’s really suggestive so it’s nice foreplay fodder. Do someponies see clothes like that?”

“I guess so, but most ponies think it’s proper to be dressed for important occasions. Personally, I like the idea of a dress for formal things, but for everyday things it's just something I don’t think I’d enjoy.”

“I think the saddle was a bit too much Twi, could get behind the crop though. In my defense, you did keep telling me to ‘go harder’ Twi.”

“I know and I still have a few marks showing that, I just know Spike will ask about them.”

“Like how he’d probably ask Rainbow why her cutie mark’s as ruffled up as it is?”

“She wasn’t just pulling my leg then? I should’ve listened to her and let her in so I could help.”

“So you didn’t ever give Spike the Talk then?”

“I tried to, but you know how he is when I talk for too long. I know he zoned out by the time I got to intimacy and how a couple can get when they’re feeling… you know… that way…

“Feeling any better now?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Can I take my shower?”

I heard the door unlock and open to reveal Twilight’s flushed face. “I haven’t taken my bath yet. I’ve just been so embarrassed.”

“Do you want me to use another bathroom or do you want to share the bath?”

Twilight gulped hard. “You really mean it?”

I shrugged. “That too much right now Twilight?”

“N-No, I mean, Rainbow might be a little jealous.”

“Come on, what do you want?”

“I’ll run the bath, what’s in the letter Alex?”

I shrugged and opened it calmly.

Tonight, same time,
Luna

“Luna’s visiting again; I think she’s got a plan.”

*****

After the bath, I sat there on the bed in silence. Luna was returning, hopefully with a plan hatched. Then there was last night, something so indescribably awesome that I have no words that would do it justice.

“Twilight,” I said as I looked over to her.

“Thanks for not doing anything in the tub,” she replied as she brushed her mane.

Tell her, mouthed my reflection as it peeked out from above her.

“Hey Twi, can I ask you about something?”

“Yeah,” she replied absently.

“Well, I have this little problem. I’m not really sure how to explain it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m having this weird thing with my reflection. It keeps talking to me, like I can even converse with it and everything.”

Twilight’s brush clacked against the floor. “When were you going to tell me about something like this? How long has it been happening?”

My reflection shrugged, causing me to roll my eyes at it. “I was going to tell you soon, but I never figured out how I could put it. It’s been happening since Canterlot I think.”

Twilight shot me a skeptical glare.

“It’s not like I’m glued to a mirror. I mean, I’m not Rarity.”

“It might be something residual, or it could be something concerning your biology reacting to Equestria. I’d run tests but Princess Luna is coming to visit.”

“Well, I know I should’ve told you sooner but well…”

Twilight turned to look at me. “Does your reflection give you advice?”

“I’d like to think it does, but it changes its attitude often. I mean like it will be calm then really lax, or sometimes super serious.”

“Hmmm, it might be your subconscious,” she suggested. “Like it’s just revealing itself in the mirror as a reaction to being in Equestria. I mean I don’t have any evidence to even form a theory so I’m just guessing.”

“She has a good point,” quipped the mirror.

“Well then,” I said plainly, “we should get dinner ready before Princess Luna arrives. I don’t have time for her to get you and Rainbow like last time.”

Twilight gave me a warm smile. “Do you have an idea for a menu?”

“I’ll want some fresher ingredients. I mean, I’m running low on some herbs. Do you think some place in town has saffron? I know I can get cinnamon from the Cakes.”

“We can go to Zecora’s, she might have some of what you need. Right now though, we should head downstairs before Rainbow thinks we’re doing things without her.”

Let’s see dinner with Luna, trip to Zecora’s, awkward moments the day after, weirdest day so far, I know better than to say ‘ever.’ So long as Twilight doesn’t make me have to experiment with herbs I’m just fine.

*****

“So what do you need saffron for,” Rainbow asked as the three of us ventured into the Everfree Forest.

“I have a nice herbal tea blend,” I replied calmly, “but it needs saffron to balance it out. I don’t want to split hairs over it though. If I can’t get any then I can’t serve it tonight, nothing more to it. We could do a workaround and add a nice yellow chartreuse to our dining experience. I’d like some degree of saffron in the meal.”

“We aren’t going to be drinking tonight,” said Twilight sharply.

“It can’t keep forever Twilight and it’ll just be one glass each if even that much.”

“Well then what’s the cinnamon for?”

“I don’t need much so I’ll just get it in town. I mean Sugarcube Corner probably has some I can buy.”

Slowly the three of us argued down what I could barely call a path to a rather odd tree with several ceremonial masks. “Here we are,” Twilight said pleasantly as she continued to lead the way. “She probably won’t be startled by you; it’s rare to spook her. I actually think Princess Luna was the only pony to startle her, but that was on Nightmare Night so I’m not really sure if that counts.”

“That is very true,” came a calm voice from behind us, “I am not rattled as quickly as you.”

I turned to see the wise zebra returning home, Rainbow Dash trying to remain calm beside me. I have to admit, Zecora’s voice caused a chill to run up my spine. “Hello Zecora,” I said as calmly as I could, given my quick startle. “I’m Alex and-”

“We’ve just come by to ask if you have something,” Twilight asked as she cut me off.

“Yes,” I interjected calmly, “Twilight suggested that we check with you regarding saffron before trying to hunt it down in town.”

“I am sorry for you,” she replied with a sigh, “for without saffron I am too. An herbal blend I have today and a little of saffron would brighten its bouquet.”

I felt like, under any other circumstances, I could enjoy this beautiful irony but right now I wasn’t even smiling at the communal misfortune.

“Well, thanks anyways,” Rainbow said idly. “Let’s try and get some other stuff Al.”

As we headed back out of the forest, I heard Zecora call to us. “Best wishes to you my human friend, please visit soon for you do not offend!”

*****

Nearly to Sugarcube Corner I realized that I could deal with conversation in verse for only so long. It did make me a little sad not to be serving that particular blend, but I’d have to check it anyways. I think I’ve been saving a little too long.

“I’m still saying a liqueur is a bad idea,” Twilight said. “I mean last night started off as just a glass of wine.” She and Rainbow returned to the debate regarding the bottle of chartreuse at the edge of the forest and hasn’t stopped since.

“We got a touch of nostalgia last night Twilight,” Rainbow reminded her. “We’re better people than that I swear all I ask for is a single glass, and only if Luna’s okay with it.”

“So what happened last night Alley,” asked a chipper voice behind us.

Pinkie, I thought as I rolled my eyes. “I’d rather you don’t talk so loudly Pinkie, it’s private.”

Rainbow however whispered something in the party pony’s ear. Something that made her freeze up and turn bright red.

I was sure that Pinkie was capable of figuring out why we wanted to be quiet about it, but Rainbow was more than willing to tempt fate. “Can I ask you something though Pinkie,” I asked.

“Ask away,” she replied as she not only caught up to us, but also hopped alongside us. How she does that for any extended period is still beyond me.

“Does Sugarcube Corner have any cinnamon I can get? I mean I’m going to pay for it but we’re having important company and I’d like the meal to be perfect.”

“I think so, but you should ask Mrs. Cake if we can. Oh, and I had a question about the thing yesterday Alley.”

“What is it Pinkie,” asked Twilight, making sure she was still part of the conversation.

“Well it’s just that Alley’s fine how he is isn’t he?”

Rainbow nodded. “Was there something wrong with him fitting in or somethin? I mean as far as I can tell, everypony treats him pretty nice.”

“Nonono,” Pinkie replied quickly. “It’s just you’re okay with it? All of you are okay with it?”

“I don’t want to lie to you Pinkie,” I replied nervously, “there isn’t a part of me that isn’t. That’s more like hesitation. I am but,” I cranked my head around to look to Twilight and Rainbow, “I also feel like I kind of browbeat you two into it.”

Twilight just gave me a pleasant, supportive smile. “I’m just fine with you staying true to yourself Alex. Also, thank you for being honest about that.

“Just don’t let it happen again,” added Rainbow smugly.

I felt relived, they could’ve chewed me out about that for quite a while now and I just felt the weight finally fall by the wayside. “Yeah, a little selfish of me to think about what’s right for our future without talking to you both about it first.”

“Princess Luna put you on the spot though didn’t she,” quipped Pinkie. This caused the three of us to stop dead in our tracks right on the sweetshop’s threshold.

“I never said that,” I said with a startled face.

“Oh come on Al,” Rainbow added as she tried to brush it off, “she’s just doing her thing.”

Twilight and I stifled a snicker and we went inside Sugarcube Corner, the warming feeling of the ovens in the back bringing some warmth back to my chilled face.

After that first moment of feeling some warmth I noticed how unusually vacant the storefront was. It’s the weekend and an afternoon, cold or not this is a strange thing to see.

I walked up to the counter and was greeted spontaneously by Pinkie. I could swear was right behind me a moment ago. “Pinkie could you please get Mrs. Cake for me,” I asked. Pinkie was doing her thing in overdrive…

*****

“You actually got more than enough,” Twilight told me as we were on our way back home.

“I couldn’t say no when she was offering so much for such a cheap price,” I replied. “I mean I’ll have to grind my own cinnamon but that’s easy.”

Rainbow shot me a glare. “Just remember it’s all of us again. We’re all eating and stuff.”

“So, what am I looking at for a ‘Spike budget’ then?”

Twilight giggled. “I’ll get the records out, so we can do it together. I could always get by on my stipend from Princess Celestia, but I’m not sure how our budget will work out now.”

“Then everything’s going to be fine Twi,” Rainbow said casually. “Between my pay, Al’s pay, and your stipend, it’ll be no sweat.”

“But after the change, I mean we can teach you magic or flying but what if you can’t do your job?”

I sighed. “Well, we can cross that bridge when we get to it. You can’t plan for everything Twilight, you remember that lesson right?”

Rainbow stifled her laugh.

“There’s a problem with that lesson though, it’s hard to break a habitual cycle. I mean I adapted but it’s still there.”

“But you’re not writing pre-pre-pre-checklist checklists anymore,” Rainbow told her. “Wait, you aren’t right?”

“No, but it’s still there in my head! I can’t just pull it out.”

Rainbow slipped inside ahead of me as I looked right into Twilight’s eyes. “Then don’t, I like your head just the way it is.” I gave her a soft kiss as I closed the door behind her. We could argue over lessons she should’ve learned till doomsday, but everyone in our house knew that would go nowhere slowly.

*****

Spike, who had the misfortune to return while the kitchen was in full use, quickly found himself pulled into the fray. “What’s going on,” he asked me when he returned to the kitchen for forks, “I mean Twilight just told me to get plates for five.”

I didn’t hear that well, I had the spice grinder out. Naturally he tried to get my attention several times and I didn’t actually hear him until he yelled in my ear. “Well,” I replied with a little hesitation. Twilight was dragging Spike to the table, so I had to be more trusting of her choice. “We’re having company Spike. Princess Luna is coming to dinner and we’ll be discussing something we’ve been planning. I really hope she has a plan.”

“A plan? Is this about the human-pony thing?”

“It is. Princess Luna said to leave the planning to her.”

“Can you tell me anything before she lays it all out?”

“Did you go to Canterlot and stick around with Twilight during the summer?”

“Well no,” he said disappointedly, “Twilight told me to take care of the library.”

I got the feeling that might end up being our excuse for a lot of things if he couldn’t sit still for the whole talk. “It’s about what’s going to happen in the near future. If Twilight or Princess Luna asks, I didn’t tell you that we’re going to be very close to breaking the law.”

“You’re-”

“Didn’t. Hear. From. Me.” I made sure to emphasize each word. “The less about the details the safer you’ll be.”

By the time I was nearly done with dinner, I heard a knock at the door and a skip in Twilight’s step as she passed to answer it. Princess Luna was right on time, and I had a strong feeling that we’re going to hear both good and bad news.

“Ah Twilight Sparkle,” I heard from towards the front door, “how wonderful to see you here already.”

“Um about that,” I heard as they headed towards me, “I’ve moved in. I mean me and Rainbow, I mean… oh, I don’t want to say everything awkwardly but-”

“Take a deep breath Twilight Sparkle; it will help more than you know.”

“What she’s trying to say is we moved in,” squealed Rainbow as she passed by the kitchen door.

I glanced over my shoulder and gave them a warm smile. “Dinner’s nearly ready, please head right to the table is nearly served, just this last dish.” At Twilight’s insistence I gave up on the drinks, she just about refused to let me work until I caved in.

The next thing I heard was a quick ‘urk’ and I looked to see Twilight nearly getting the life crushed out of her by Luna hugging her. “THAT IS SUCH WONDERFUL NEWS,” the lunar princess squealed in her Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Princess Luna,” I pleaded, “please don’t crush the life out of her, I’m not dead yet.”

“Yeah,” agreed Rainbow as she rubbed her ear, “not yelling might be nice too.”

Luna merely blinked as she released Twilight. “Was it too tight Twilight Sparkle,” she asked using a very meek indoor voice.

“A bit,” Twilight eked out.

Princess Luna turned to stare at me eye-to-eye. “You sound so adamant saying things like ‘I’m not dead yet’ Alexander. Do you truly mean such words?”

“I would never harm Twilight intentionally,” I said with as much determination as I could muster. “I don’t really believe in things like the afterlife so I have to say that I won’t stop loving her until I’m dead. If I’m wrong and there is a life after this one then I’ll still love Twilight for as long as I am able to remember her to any extent.” I glanced to Rainbow, catching a silent plea on her face. “Don’t worry Dashie, I feel the same about you.”

Garlic bread went right to the counter as Twilight stared at me, tears welling up in her eyes. She said nothing as she closed in, nor when she pounced and knocked me to the ground. She simply kissed me as an ‘ouch’ caught in my throat from the lump on the back of my head.

As I broke away from Twilight, I smiled for a moment.

“Come on Twi,” Rainbow said in a teasing voice, “not in front of the Princess.”

Twilight went wide-eyed for a moment then returned my content smile. “To be continued.” She casually glanced back towards Rainbow. “Sorry,” she added meekly.

I looked back to the doorway to see Luna nodding. The sooner we hear this plan of hers, the sooner we can move things along.

*****

“Firstly,” Luna said during dinner, “I believe the safest time to perform this spell will be during the Hearth’s Warming pageant. Security shall be more focused on the pageant than the archives. The book we are looking for is in the second sublevel.”

“You said last time that the spells were borderline,” I said, “from a legality point of view. You’ve checked the laws correct?”

“But of course. The spells were created during a time when there was less of a divide between the races of the world. After Discord, my sister and I felt that they required a watchful eye. I do not think Celestia is even aware of their existence anymore.”

“What sort of punishment will we be looking at,” Twilight asked.

“I shall assume full responsibility Twilight Sparkle.”

“But what does the punishment entail?”

“Imprisonment of no less than fifty years,” Luna saw our looks of concern, “I shall be capable of enduring such a sentence. You three need to be happy together.”

Twilight was about to say something when I spoke up. “Excuse me,” I interrupted, “what is the exact wording of the law?”

Luna turned to look me in the eye. “Without express permission all spells stored on the second sublevel of the archives are considered illegal. Only those of the highest levels of authority can give such permission, and only a select few would even be capable of casting such spells. Unfortunately, I do not know my standing in this ruling as of now. My sister had made this law in my absence.”

“Alright, so we sneak into the archives during the pageant. What else is there?”

“In the days before Hearth’s Warming Eve I shall prepare a few stages of the spell we shall require. Such preparations will involve a few runes, a magic circle, and a few other minor complications that would slow us down otherwise.”

“What about the spell itself,” asked Twilight.

“The spell is not too obvious unless you are in the room. There is no doubt that my sister will sense an inkling of the magic and send guards to investigate. We will have to be fast to complete the spell and withdraw from the archives.”

Personally, I think most of this will be overkill. After all, a few months ago Princess Celestia looked the other way so that Twilight could bring me here. Naturally, I would never mention this; in the off chance I was wrong. “What about after we leave the archives,” I asked.

“It is simple; you three slip into the crowd at the pageant. The curfew has been lifted so the train will be running for your escape from Canterlot. While you make your escape, I shall direct soldiers away from you as best I can. Twilight Sparkle, Princess Cadance is also trying to force your brother into aiding us.”

“Sounds like a reasonable idea. Shining Armor should be willing to help us,” Twilight gave me a skeptical look.

“He’ll never hear the end of it from everypony if he doesn’t,” Rainbow added while trying her hardest to hold back her desire to laugh.

“Are there any other questions,” the lunar princess asked.

Spike hesitantly raised his hand but caught three pairs of eyes dart to him with scowls not far behind them. “Um, nevermind.”

Luna raised her eyebrow but nodded. “Thank you for another lovely meal Alexander. I look forward to your arrival in twelve days.”

After seeing Luna off, Twilight leaned against me. “Now where were we,” she cooed.

We’ll remind you after Spike goes to sleep,” Rainbow scolded.