Chapter 2: Royalty and Questions .... That suck
Everyone, Pony and human, looked to Twilight as she finished yelling at them. Twilight was panting slightly because of her little outburst, but quickly regain her composure. Even Rino, who had fallen asleep, awoke as Twilight yelled.
Roger looked to Twilight and then to the small group behind the purple pony. Then looking back to Twilight she finally remembered a very important question that probably should have been asked in the first place.
“Where are we?” Roger said taking a quick look around.
“It doesn’t look like we are in Blood Gulch that’s for sure.” Rino spoke up.
“Noooo Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Tucker said. Donut on the other hand... Erm hoof, had found one of the few joys of being a pony. His tail.
“Get back here you!!” Donut said as he spun in a circle in a attempt to catch it.
“Donut.... What the hell are you doing?” Tucker asked as he tilted his head and giving a questionable look towards Donut.
“I am trying to catch this furry thing attached to my ass!!” Donut said in frustration as he glared at the twitching appendage. He leaped at it again before running in more circles.
“Unless you are a complete dumb ass.... Which I really think you are right now... That thing, like you said, is attached to you’re ass.” Rino said as he relaxed against the tree he had slumped against. He put his hand behind his helmet and let out a happy sigh. “This place at least has some shade compared to Blood Gulch.”
“Yeah... It’s much better than that hell hole of a canyon.” Roger agreed.
“I just don’t see what’s so fascinating about your tail, Donut.” Tucker said as he looked at his own. “It’s just a tail.”
“You got one too!” Dount said as he pointed a hoof at Tucker’s ass. Which happened to have a tail on it.
“Yes. We are ponies. Ponies have tails, Donut. You should know this.” Tucker said slowly. As he switched his gaze from his own tail to Donut.
By now Twilight was getting angry from being ignored and was beginning to fume in frustration. She took slow, calm deep breaths. Then as she began to say something before she was quickly interrupted again.
“Yeah.... You don’t see me crawling on four legs now do you?” Rino said as he looked at Tucker. You could almost see that he was grining behind his helmet.
“Hey! Shut up! It’s hard to stand and run on four legs! Especially if you were a bipedal human for about ooooh I don’t know.... You’re whole life?” Tucker said to Rino as he tried to walk away from him, but ended up crawling forward. “God damn it, why is this so hard?”
“Wait Tucker! I have an idea! Come over here and I think I can help us walk properly.” Donut said standing up without falling down. Before Donut could take a step towards Tucker he let out a yelp of pain and fell to the ground. “Oh yeah. I broke my ha-... Hoof.”
“How did you break your hoof!?” Roger said in confusion.
“Probably because he has such a weak skeleton. He broke it by putting enough pressure on it.” Rino said with a small chuckle.
“Noooooo shit.” Roger said with so much sarcasm that it was dripping off and forming small puddles under it. “I meant how he broke it. Not how his skeleton sucks.”
“I have a great skeleton! I just don’t drink a lot of milk.” Donut said sitting up with his right hoof held up, so he would not hurt it more. “Also I think it was when I tried to punch Rino, was it? Yeah.... When I punched him.”
“Ah..... Well you have to give him points for trying to at least fight back.” Roger said as she looked to Rino.
“He barely made me feel anything, his punch felt like someone just tapped me on the armor.” Rino said back
“Still.... He at least tried.” Roger argued.
Twilight was already used to being interrupted, but being ignored was something that she did not easily handle. She cleared her thoat and yelled again.
“WILL SOMEPONY PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION!?”
Tucker jumped at Twilight’s little outburst and Donut got scared and hid behind Roger’s legs.
“Holy shit lady, calm down!” Tucker said as he held a hoof against one of his ringing ears. “Damn these things are sensitive.”
“I’ll calm down when I know what is going on!” Twilight yelled again. This was the point that Fluttershy had regain consciousness and had walked up to Twilight.
“U-um..T-twilight. I think t-that you sh-shouldn’t be yelling at them. They might get angry.” Fluttershy said barley over a whisper into her friend’s ear.
There were some faint music coming form somewhere and since Tucker had no better thing to do he tried moving his ears a bit and found out that he could direct them in different directions. He pointed one ear to the right and heard the music come from there, so when he looked there he saw that Rino still was slumped and leaning against the tree with the hands behind his helmet, but now he apparently was so bored that he had decided to listen to music.
Roger glared at Tucker who just pointed his hoof at Rino as innocently as he could, which was pretty damn easy to pull off with his new body. Roger walked over to Rino and tapped on his visor with one of her fingers.
“Helloooo, paging Mr. assault guy, Mr. assault guy are you there?” Roger said as she was tapping on his visor.
Rino just waved a hand dismissively as he kept chilling under his tree. Roger shook her head and placed a hand on the ‘chin’ of her helmet as she thought. She got a evil idea and walked around to the side of Rino before saying.
“Oh ho, your not gonna ignore me that easy.” She then took it upon herself to sit into his lap and throw her arms around Rino neck before giving him another light hug.
“What the fuck Rino!?” Tucker yelled out in jealousy.
“H-huh? W-why are you sitting on my lap?” Rino asked. You could almost feel the embarrassment irradiating off from Rino.
“Oh nothing. Just making sure you can’t ignore me.” Roger said tapping a finger against his visor again.
“This is still so fucking unfair!” Tucker yelled as he looked at Rino and Roger. “How come Rino gets all the chicks?!”
“Because he is not a self proclaimed ladies’ man that has no good looks.” Roger said with a matter o’ fact tone.
“You know what fuck you bitch! I don’t need you!!” Tucker yelled as he furiously hit the ground with his hoof. “OW FUCK MY HOOF.”
“That apparently can’t punch something without hurting himself.” Roger added. “Also have you guys not noticed that we aren’t alone?”
She pointed to Twilight and her friends before returning to hugging Rino.
Rino however turned off his armors speakers and yelled inside his helmet “WHY DOES ALL THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!” before turning the speakers on again.
“What was that?” Roger asked Rino. “It doesn’t matter. We probably should find out where we are and what the local flora and fauna is like.”
“Eh... Y-yeah sounds great.” Rino said awkwardly looking away from the woman who was sitting in his lap.
“Well what are we waiting for? Come on big guy!” Roger said getting off and holding out a hand to Rino. Who reluctantly accepted the help.
Now that he was on his feet again, he started to walk over to Twilight, but before he got there Roger slipped her hand in to Rino’s. He looked at her hand for a while before asking
“What are you doing?” A bit confused.
“You looked lonely.” She stated plainly. “So I thought I might give you some company...”
“You do realise that we are on different teams?” Rino stated looking up from her hand and in to her visor.
“So?” She asked without really caring about what he was implying.
Rino just sighed in defeat and said “Come on, lets just find out where we are already.”
“Yes. Let’s.” Roger said happily.
They walked up to Twilight and her friends before standing completely still. Since they were Spartans they were slightly taller than the average human, but that didn’t change the fact that Twilight and her friends were only about 4 and half feet tall. Twilight was already slightly angry from being ignored, so she forgot about the creatures towering height and walked up to them.
“Would you please answer my questions now!?” Twilight asked frustrated.
“OH MY GOD! WOULD YOU STOP TALKING SO LOUD?!” Tucker yelled from a few feet away. “Better fucking put on my helmet again.”
Rino just looked at Tucker as he put his helmet back on his head.... Albeit with much difficulty. Rino felt like laughing his ass off right there at his friends difficulty of doing a simple task as putting a helmet back on. Right before he was gonna laugh at Tucker, Roger pulled him closer to her and said.
“I would save your laughter for later. If you know what I mean.” Roger said with a weird tone before gently letting him go. She looked to Twilight and smiled behind her visor. “Alright Strange purple unicorn., we will answer your question. But in return we some of our answered as well. Deal?”
Rino just looked at Roger in confusion and saw that Tucker finally had gotten his helmet on and was wa-... eh... Crawling over.
“How the fuck do you walk?!” Tucker said as he was crawling towards Rino.
“Hey don’t ask me! I’m a human!” Rino said back with a huge grin behind his helmet.
Roger let out a small whistle before saying. “Donut! Here boy! Come here!”
Donut happily obliged and was going to walk over, but remembered that his right hoof was broken. So instead of walking, he limped over and leaned against Roger’s leg when he got to her.
“Having a broken hoof sucks.” Donut said whimpering as he looked at his hoof.
“How the fuck are you walking!?” Tucker yelled at Donut. “This is really fucking infuriating! Maybe I should get Rino to carry me.”
“I’m not carrying you.” Rino said coldy and giving Tucker a glare. “Besides if its so hard-”
“Bow chicka bow wow.”
“You don’t know how much I want to shoot you right now.” Rino said again.
“Please. Please shoot him.” Roger said almost pleading.
Rino’s hand left hand hovered over his magnum before dropping
“I can’t kill him unless he hurts me first....” Rino said dissapointed.
“Right that stupid code they taught us in training camp. Oh well. Maybe we should stop ignoring the unicorn. She looks pretty pissed.” Roger said pointing to Twilight and then clinging a bit to Rino.
“Yes that would be nice.” Twilight said as her eye twitched a bit. “I have an idea that will help us all out. Why don’t we take you to the Princess and you can get your questions and my questions answered there.”
“That seems reasonable. What do you think Rino?” Roger said squeezing his arm to get his attention.
“H-huh? Did ya say something?” Rino said looking at Roger.
“I said does that seem like a good idea? It would help us out.” Roger stated.
“U-uh.... S-sure?” Rino said before looking back at Tucker who kept falling back down as he tried to stand up properly. Rino gave out a small chuckle before looking at Twilight.
“Mind explaining how you stand to this guy?” Rino said as he pointed at Tucker “He’s too simple minded to figure it out himself”
“Fuck you Rino!” Tucker said a bit angry.
“I have a better idea.” Twilight said. Her horn glowed for a moment until Tucker flew by Rino coverwd in a purple glow and hovered next to Twilight.
“What.... The fuck?” Rino said as he looked at Tucker, he then looked at Roger “Am I seeing things here?”
“No, that little purple unicorn definitely has telekinesis.” Roger stated. She let go of Rino and picked up Donut before looking back to Rino. “So he won’t slow us down.”
Rino just nodded at this and then looked back at Twilight.
“Sooo you guys ready to go now?” She asked. Rino nodded again.
~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~
(Canterlot palace)
(Throne room)
Celestia was sitting on her throne, with her reading glasses on and was reading a newspaper when a guard came running in with a slightly scared expression.
“Your highness! Your highness!!” The guard panted as he stopped in front of the Princess. “Y-you student has...” The guard panted some more. “...Brought two strange creatures...” He panted even more, causing Celestia to have a few dirty thoughts, but she quickly shook them off. “...Into the palace.”
“Yes yes... That’s nice my little pony, you can return to your guard duty now.” Celestia said without taking her eyes off the newspaper.
“Wait.... She did what?” She said as she lowered the newspaper a bit to a look at the guard.
“She...Brought.....” He collapsed onto the ground and just settled for pulling out a scroll. “She.... wrote this...”
Celestia took the scroll with her magic and hovered it over to her then she opened it and read it out loud. The guard took a moment to shakily sit up and pant some more.
“Dear Princess Celestia.... Bla bla bla... Two creatures... Bla bla bla... Uh... Two crazy ponies...” Celestia was really not in the mood for business today, so she skimmed through the scroll. She just wanted to read her newspaper and see what was going on around the world, but noooo. Her personal student who just gotten a few weeks off had to find some mystical creatures....
Celestia sighed loudly and said to the guard
“Send them here. I want to see these creatures with my own eyes.”
The guard nodded and ran out the door again. As he left she heard him mutter. “I can’t believe I’m a messenger, it sucks.”
Celestia took this small time to take one last look at the newspaper before tucking it away. Then she sat there bored out of her mind.... until she heard hoofsteps and arguing. She quickly regained her composure and sat up a bit straighter than before as she had subconsciously slumped a bit.
“All I am saying is that if you thought I was a girl how did you know that Roger wasn’t a boy?” Donut said as the doors where opened to reveal the odd group of creatures and ponies. “Seriously! Her armor is a manly color!”
“Look. You can obviously see that her armor is a bit slimmer than Rino’s armor.” Tucker said.
“Yeah, but you didn’t take that into account when you saw me!” Donut yelled at Tucker, who was still being carried by Twilight’s magic.
“Yeah, but that’s because I was not thinking straight.” Tucker said back defensively putting extra emphasis on straight.
“What ever. Now I know why Roger doesn’t like you.” Donut said crossing his forelegs and huffing.
“Would you two shut up for a few seconds?” Rino said as he looked at the both. “Im pretty sure that you could notice that her breastplate is a bit more... Formed than mine.”
“Oh ho! So you were looking!” Roger said looking to Rino while holding Donut in her arms.
“Eh.... Tucker told me over the radio.” Rino said defensively.
“Yeah... Sure. Knew that you couldn’t resist me.” Roger said swaying her hips a bit at Rino.
“Dude, what have you done?” Tucker asked as he was extremely jealous.
“I have no fucking idea! I threw a magnum at her face and now look where its going!” Rino said extremely flustered.
“Just face it Tucker. Rino is just better with the ladies.” Roger said while Donut nodded in agreement.
You could hear a faint “WHY ME?!” Muffled by Rino’s helmet. Tucker and Roger assumed that he shut off the speakers in his suit and screamed in it.
“What was that?” Celestia asked.
Rino, Tucker, Roger and Donut all looked at the alicorn who was sitting at her throne.
“Wait... She have wings...” Tucker started.
“And a …. horn?” Rino asked himself.
“SHE’S A HORNED BIRD HORSE!” Donut yelled out and pointed at Celestia as he squirmed around in Roger’s grip?
Everyone looked at Donut like he was crazy. “Actually I think it’s a pegacorn....Or a unissus. Or just a horned pegasus.” Roger said looking off in thought.
“How about.... All in the one corn?” Rino said as he was holding his hands in the air
“That is just ridiculous.” Roger said looking to Rino. This is when Twilight decided to intervene.
“Actually her race is called a Alicorn. A combination of all three pony races.” Twilight said in a matter o’ fact tone.
“See! Even the purple unicorn pony agrees with me!” Rino said proudly.
“She said Alicorn. Not ‘All in the one corn’.” Roger said smirking behind her helmet.
Celestia was slightly confused as to what was going on, but nothing that she hadn’t dealt with before.
“Tucker she did say ‘All in the one corn’ right?” Rino said as he looked at Tucker.
“Yeah.... I’m pretty sure she did.” Tucker said a bit hesitant.
“You’re all morons. And Tucker? You’re spineless.” Roger said glaring at Tucker through her visor.
“So that means you agree with us? Good!” Rino said. He then pointed at Celestia and said “You are here forth known as ‘All in the one corn’!”
Then all that was heard that six hooves connected with faces and one hand connecting with a visor.
Tucker just sighed and looked at Rino who was looking triumphant
“You are one big moron sometimes you know that?” Tucker said.
“Thank you! For once something me and you can agree on!” Roger said. Then she took a few steps forward and addressed Celestia. “Hello. I am assuming you are the Princess that your student has told us about non-stop for like the past ten minutes.”
“Oh... She has?” Celestia asked.
“Yes and to be rather honest it was quite annoying, although informative. I am Corporal Spartan #349 code name Roger. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Roger said letting one hand leave donut hanging while she saluted.
Tucker shut of his suit’s speakers and turned on the short range radio and connected himself to Rino.
“Duuude, You two are real soldiers?” Tucker asked over the radio
“Yeah... Why are you asking? I thought you guys were soldiers too.” Rino said after a short while because he had to disable his suits speakers.
“Because last time I checked I was classified as a simulation trooper.” Tucker said a bit surprised.
“So wait... You are telling me.... That.... Son of a bitch.” Rino said with anger in his voice but he calmed him self afterwards.
“The pleasure is all mine Corporal.” Celestia bowed a bit towards Roger just to be formal.
“Oh please I am a soldier. Enough with the formalities. They make me sick.” Roger said as she lowered her hand and supported Donut again, who was on the verge of falling asleep. Roger turned to Rino and yelled. “Hey Rino! Get your arse over here and introduce yourself!”
It took a two minutes before Rino responded “Ehh no?”
“Too damn bad. Get your ass over here before I stick you with a plasma grenade.” Roger threatened.
“Fine...” Rino said as he walked up “Oh but know this... Roger I out rank you.”
“Don’t care. We aren’t in Blood Gulch anymore.” Roger said. You could almost feel the shit eating grin she was wearing behind her visor.
“I swear to god, sometimes you are really coming on to me.” Rino said quietly. Then he went at attention and saluted the princess. ”Assault Lieutenant #665 code name Rino! At your service ma’am!” Rino yelled out.
“Wait your a lieutenant? How the fuck did that happen?” Roger said looking to Rino.
“When you spend most of your time out in the field on the front lines, rank tends to increase quite often.” Rino said.
“Oh and sneaking into covenant battle ships and slitting the throat of the commanding officer doesn’t? That is bullshit right there.” Roger said huffing. Then a guard decided to but in.
“Watch your language around the Princess creature!” He said walking over to them. Roger slowly turned to the guard and just glared. He back down a little bit before lowering his head and whimpering.
“Yeah you better back off bitch.” Roger said before turning back to the Princess.
Celestia stared at the spectacle that just happened and turned to Roger. “May I ask what that was?” She said sounding more curious than angry.
“It’s called domination. It’s were people, and ponies apparently, know not when to fuck with you.” Roger responded sounding a bit more happy than she should have. She then got a playful push from Rino.
“Know your place Corporal” Rino said with a grin hidden behind his mask
“Oh shut up.” Roger retorted with a giggle.
“OH GET A ROOM!” Tucker yelled from behind them.
Roger looked to Rino and shurgged. “Should we?” ‘This should fluster him a bit.’ Roger thought.
“Wh-What the...” Rino could not finish what he was saying so he just shut his mouth and kept looking forward.
“Is that a Ye-?” Roger asked.
“Uh....” Rino said.
“Come on just say the last letter.” Roger said with a playful voice.
“What is going on between you too?” Celestia asked even more curious.
“Oh nothing. Just a simple exchange of ideas.” Roger said happily. “Oh we keep getting off topic. Donut your up!” She said nudging the sleepy pony in her arms.
“W-wha? What did I miss?” Donut said as he tried to rub his eyes through his visor.
“You need to introduce yourself Donut. Your in the presence of royalty.” Roger said pointing to Celestia.
“I am?” Donut looked at Celestia and smiled. “Wow.... She’s pretty. I like the golden things she is wearing. Maybe I should decorate the base with those things when we get back.”
“I told you he’s fucking gay.” Tucker said shaking his head.
“I am not gay!” Donut yelled.
“I think he is metrosexual.” Roger said turning to Tucker.
“That would explain a few of things.” Tucker said.
“So it’s agreed he is metro?” Roger said to Rino and Tucker.
“Negative.” Both of them said at the same time.
“Too bad. Now can we ask you a few questions Princess?” Roger said turning to Celestia.
Twilight and her friends had somehow silently moved past everyone and next to the princess, but remained quiet while they were talking. ‘At least we are going to get some answers.’ Twilight thought.
Just as Roger was going to ask the Princess a question she looked to Rino who was slowly bobbing his head. ‘Again with the music...’ Roger thought.
She smacked the back of Rino’s head and made the ‘Stop the music’ gesture and Rino of course waved his hand dismissively for the second time of the day. She shook her head, Set donut down, and grabbed him by the neck before pressing a few buttons on his helmet and pulling it off.
“WAKE UP!” Roger yelled as she pulled his helmet off and revealing Rino’s face. Which had a scar beginning from just above the left eyebrow and going down to his chin bone. His left eye had been replaced with a cybernetic one cause of a incident in the field. It glowed soft red, he had short black hair and a brown right eye.
“So that’s how you look.” Roger said holding his helmet in her left hand while the right hand was on her hip.
He slowly looked toward Roger and the cybernetic eye changed form glowing softly red to blaring it. ‘It must change color depending on the emotion.’ Roger thought.
Rino exhaled deeply before the cybernetic eye changed color to frost blue.
“May I have my helmet back?” Rino asked calmly.
“That depends. Are you going to listen to music again for do I have to crush it? Your not the only one with Cybernectics.” Roger said as she set the helmet down and grabbed her right arm. She twisted it in the wrong direction and pulled it off. “Can’t use explosives that well with out a tool kit and well...”
She put the arm back on and a few tools popped out of the fingers. “I always have one with me.”
She did not notice that Rino had picked up his helmet and had a cleaning rag in his hands and slowly stroking his helmet with it..
“I think your a bit too military. You need to lighten up.” Roger said as the tools retracted back into her fingers and turned back to Celestia. “May we begin with our questions now?”
~*^*^*^*^*^~^*^*^*^*^*~
After about 20 minutes of continuous back and forth questions just about everything had been answered. Where they were, where they are from, how they got here, ETC.
“So are we all cleared up on everything?” Roger said as she was sitting down scratching Donut behind the ears. He had taken off his helmet because it ‘smelt bad’ and fell asleep from boredom.
“I believe so!” Twilight said happily as she looked over the mountain of notes she had collected.
“Good. Now there is one last question I need to ask.” Roger said looking to Celestia. “Do you have a place we can stay for the night?”
Rino who had nothing else to do during the whole ‘question time’ had started training. Currently he was at thousand push-ups before going in to a thousand sit-ups
“Show off.” Tucker muttered as he was laying down on the ground next to Rino
“940.... 941.... 942...” Rino was muttering to himself. Roger had tried to avert her gaze from Rino but constantly found her gaze going back to the training soldier.
“Anyway. May we have a place to rest for the night?” Roger said looking to Celestia.
“One thousand.” Rino said before standing up and flexing his arms a bit. He had attracted the attention of Twilight and her friends as well as some of the female guards in ther room.
Rino looked around the room and notice the increase of female ponies and how they were all staring at his arms.
“What are you all looking at me for?” Rino asked confused. He had just taken off his arm plates so his arms were showing.
Tucker just faced-hoof and glared at Rino. “You have to be fucking kidding me.”
Rino just looked at his comically sprawled out friend on the marble floor. “Actually I trained in Blood Gulch a few hours ago and I didn’t see anyone staring then.”
“You really are a moron.” Tucker muttered.
Rino just shrugged and started taking off his breastplate... But before he got halfway through Roger came up to him and said.
“Let’s save it for the bedroom okay?” She chuckled and nudged her head towards the ponies watching. The one that was staring the most was Rainbow Dash, who’s wings where at full extent now.
“What... The fuck?” Rino whispered as he saw Rainbow Dash drool a bit. ‘This place is way too creepy.... I can’t believe I’m saying this...’
“I can’t believe I’m saying this... But here is the moment when I miss the peace and quiet of Blood Gulch.” Rino said.
“I don’t know I kinda like it here.” Roger said going back over to Donut and sitting back down. “By the way Princess? You still haven’t answered my question.”
Celestia had taken out the newspaper and started reading it. Again.
“H-huh?” Celestia said as she lowered the newspaper away from her face. “Oh I thought you guys had left.”
“Nice to know you care.” Roger said with sarcasm dripping from her words. “Now may we have a few rooms to sleep in? Just for tonight.”
“You can share rooms with Twilight and the others.” Celestia said as she waved a dismissive hoof.
“Alright then...” Roger said getting up and picked up Donut as she stood up “Uh I forgot to say... Donut needs some help he has a broken hoof.”
Celestia then pointed at a random female guard who was staring at Rino, the pony had a huge red cross on her side.
“Oh.... That’s convenient.” Roger said lowering Donut do the pony could work on him. After about 10 minutes she had set his hoof in a cast and put a sling around him.
“Okay.... Twilight you want to show us the way?” Roger said picking up Donut again. She quickly turned to Rino and said. “You’re gonna have to carry Tucker by the way.”
Rino looked at Tucker and then at Roger and then at Tucker again before he crouched down and took a firm grip on Tuckers fore-hoof.... You thought was going to say the D word huh? You dirty minded fool.
Anyhow, he took a grip on his fore hoof and lifted him till he met his visor with his.
“You owe me fifty dollars.” Rino said.
“What?!”
“Yep. No argue, that or you stay here and sleep on the floor. Your choice.” Rino said as he looked at Tucker.
“Fine.” Tucker said in defeat and got flung over Rino’s shoulder “What the fuck! I cant see anything from here!”
“Live with it.” Rino replied.
Roger chuckled at Tucker’s misfortune and began to walk down the hall. “Are you guys coming or what?”
"Bow chicka bow wow."
Rino sighed and shook his head before looking at Twilight and the others and gestured them to go on. They snapped out of their sleepy eyed stares and nodded before walking ahead of Rino and Roger.
Rino now walked out of the throne room with the others and were now headed for the guest rooms. ‘This night is going to be interesting...’