//------------------------------//
// I scream like a little girl 
// Story: Of Ponies and Ramen 
// by The_Last_Centurion 
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This story is a fan-fiction of MLP:FiM. I don't own any of it. It belongs to Hasbro, etc, etc.
Don't sue. Seriously. That would be so uncouth.


I scream like a little girl

“Aw hell naw!” I shouted at Luna as her horn grew brighter. “Cut that shit out!” 
“What?” Luna asked her horn dimming. 
“If you want to go some place, please, for the love of everything ramen, no teleportation!” I said quickly with a held breath as Luna’s horn dimmed even further. I sighed and wiped my brow. That was a close one. 
“Fine, then follow me Mr. Will.” Luna said as she spread her wings and fluttered to the floor off of her pedestaled throne and led me towards the end of the throne room.
“Will is just fine.” I told Luna as she went up to a thick marble wall and touched her horn to it. A blue light emanated from the wall and a section of it swung inwards to reveal a hidden passage way out to the castle’s yard. Luna winked at me and I followed her outside into the afternoon sun as the door shut behind me. I saw Luna’s horn glow and a pair of dark sunglasses appeared over her eyes to protect them from the harsh sun.
“You a vampire or something?” I asked her as I saw this.
“No, just the Princess of the Night. However, that urban legend started with me.” She replied, a smile spreading on her face.
“Really?” I asked, intrigued.
“Yes. Somepony saw me...embracing another pony and thought I was drinking his blood. Very vivid minds.” Luna said, a blush coming to her face. I laughed as she took to the air and fluttered above me.
“What are you doing?” I asked suspicious.
“Just relax.” She said as a blue aura enveloped me and I started to float off the ground.
“Ohshitohshitohshit!” I stammered out as the ground quickly became a distant sight. 
“We’ll be there in a minute.” Luna grunted. “Just calm down.” She said as I fell a few feet. I screamed, only to be caught a few feet lower.
“Sorry, lost my grip.” Luna said with a devilish smile.
“Like hell you did!” I shouted at her, trembling. It’s not that I was scared of heights, it was just that I reeeallllly didn’t like being this high up without something to stand under. I was blissfully saved from my fears as Luna opened up a window in a tall tower and flung me inside. I landed on a large bed filled with pillows so I was fine, but I could barely see anything as the room was pitch black. Luna came in behind me and shut the window, encapsulating the room in darkness. That is until she reached a dimmer switch on the wall of her room and raised the lights. My little nerdy heart almost imploded at the sight revealed by the growing lights.
In her room I saw an xbox 360 connected to the wall on the floor. It lay on a cabinet filled to the brim with video games and I laughed as I saw many of them were pony-ized. But my delight grew even more when I saw that in a separate cabinet stood a large computer tower that was connected to the wall too. I stared at that until my eyes grew wide and realization hit me. The whole blackened wall was actually a hi-def flatscreen! My mouth opened, but no words could come out as I gazed onto further holinesses, like Death Note posters on her wall or the Nine Tailed-Pony bedspread she had along with all seven Straw hat Pony pirates plushies on her bed that sat next to her huge Totoro plushie. I got up off of her bed and was overwhelmed.
“This is… amazing!” I said in complete awe.
“Go look in the closet.” She said with a smile.
I wordlessly complied and opened the blue sliding door to her closet and immediately screamed, falling back in total fear. Luna laughed at me and I laid on the floor, holding my chest and breathing deeply until I calmed down and realized it was fake. 
Inside the closet, or at least the part I opened, was nothing but eight hoof-written notes, and one of the most terrible things I have seen to date. It was a fully fledged replica costume of Slenderman, or Slenderpony in this case. I looked at Luna with wild eyes.
“You monster.” I kidded.
“You should see the looks on ponies’ faces when I wear this at night. It’s so fun to play an actual game of Slender where you’re not being chased.” Luna said with an evil glint in her eyes. “Now do you want to play some Slender or what? My surround-room stereo and wall-monitor are just waiting to go.”  With that, I already knew who my best friend in the pony world was.


“FUCKSHITRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!!!!” I screamed as Luna held the wireless mouse and keyboard on a lap table.
“THIS BITCH CAN’T RUN FOR SHIT!!!!” She yelled back as she maneuvered the controls and Slenderpony popped up right in front of us on the wall-monitor.
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” We screamed and cringed together as Slenderpony caught us and his creepy-ass face appeared on the screen. Apparently Luna had the original version, because it kicked us back to her desktop. We both sat there on her bed, shivering for a minute, until we took a look at each other and started going into hysterics. We had been playing Slender for the last hour and a half, taking turns every time we got caught. No matter how many times we played, Slenderpony was just as scary each time. I could have sworn all of Canterlot hear me scream like a girl when I was in the shower complex and I saw Slenderpony around the corner in the corridor…so much terror, and yet so much fun at the same time. Luna got up off the bed laughing as I clenched the Nami-pony plushie to my chest in abject terror while she turned on the lights.
“So what should…” Luna asked, but was cut off by a knocking at her door.
“Come in.” she said swiftly as Celestia, Twilight, and Spike entered Luna’s room. The trio looked at me with confused expressions.
“Was that you sister who screamed so loudly?” Celestia asked her sister.
“That was me.” I said in fetal position, still clenching the Nami-pony in a death grip. The trio laughed at the sight. I just shook my head and stared at them wide-eyed. “You weren’t there man, you don’t know how it was…” I said, sounding like a ‘Nam veteran. Again Spike and Twilight laughed at this, but Celestia just rolled her eyes.
“We may have found a way to send you back to your world Mr. Will.” Celestia said seriously.
I forgot my fears of Slender in a record time and jumped up onto my feet, skimming my head on the ceiling of the room. “Really?” I asked, ignoring the pain from my scalp. 
“Yes, but if we tried to send you back now, you would die.” She deadpanned.
“Well…shit.” I said sitting back down on the side of the bed. 
“Don’t worry.” Twilight said as she walked over to me and put a hoof on my shoulder. “We’ll be able to send you back eventually, but for now you’ll be staying with me.”
“Why can’t I go back home now?” I asked curiously.
“Well, it all has to do with the magic barrier of our dimension.” Celestia answered for me.
“What do you mean?” I asked, the science nerd in me awakening with a raging knowledge boner.
“Well, in your dimension, all the magic that once was has been turned into particles that your species can’t use.” Twilight said.
“That must mean that the magic of your dimension is what we call ‘Dark Matter’.” I said, wishing I had glasses and a smoky cigarette so I could pull a Fraken Stein. “But that also means you can access its energy and thus manipulate it. Fascinating! But how does this prevent me from going back to my dimension?” 
“Our manipulation of the magic barrier in this world allows us to essential ‘use’ magic.” Twilight stated. “However, sending things back and forth through the magical barrier that originally have no accumulation of magical particles is very hard to do. I had been working on charging the spell each night for the last two month, using the magical particles from you dimension. I originally was just going to bring you here for a few seconds and send you back, but something happened to all the magical particles when you arrived here. It was like you were all charged up, but then they disappeared after…Ohhh.” Twilight said her eyes growing wide. “Now I know what happened.”
“What?” I asked.
“You know that stuff you had in that pot?” Twilight asked.
“The ramen.” I nodded.
“YOU HAD BUCKING RAMEN?!?!” Luna exclaimed, interrupting our conversation. Celestia had to drag her back and pull her out of the room to keep her from tackling me. “BUT NARUTO EATS BUCKING RAMEN! WHY THE BUCK CAN’T I HAVE ANY?!?” we heard the agitated princess of the night scream before Celestia said something to her. They came back into the room, Celestia dragging a sullen and upset Luna in with her by magic. Luna was pouting, sitting on the floor, and had her front hooves crossed in front of herself, muttering about ramen under her breath. Celestia gave Twilight a smile and a nod and she continued.
“When you ate that ramen, the particles quickly collected on the chopsticks and then went into your pot whenever you touched them to it. And then…” Twilight trailed off.
“They went down the sink and even into the sink when I rinsed it out and set it down.” I finished for her before groaning loudly. “Now how the hell am I supposed to get home?”
“Well, I can charge you with magical particles.” Twilight said.
“What na?” I asked in my best surprised southerner voice.
“If I charge you up directly, using small amounts of magical particles that you body can withstand, I can send you home much quicker, and safer, than it would be to send you right now. So if you can bear with our universe for the time being, then I can get you home safe and sound.” she explained with a smile.
“So let me just go through this.” I said happily, but skeptically at the same time. “You’re going to fill me with ‘magical particles’, or some other sort of radiation that we DON’T have back in my universe each day and then send me home by releasing all of those particles in one swift spell?”
Twilight nodded and I chewed on my lower lip. What she planned on doing sounded ominously like going through chemo therapy and I knew plenty of family, friends of family, and other friend’s family members that had gone through that. It was such a terrible burden on them, but like them I wanted to eventually return home, happy and healthy. It was a simple no brainer.
“Ok. I trust you Twilight.” I said with a nod. Twilight blushed and smiled happily at this and Celestia watched with a smile.
“For now my little pony, I believe it would be best to take Will home and get him situated to live here for a while. Perhaps introduce him to the other Elements of Harmony?” Celestia said regally. 
Twilight nodded and we started to leave the room, Twilight’s horn glowing as we walked.
“Nononononono. No more of that.” I said slowly walking backwards into Luna’s room. However, before I could back up further, something grabbed my leg. I looked down to see Luna, a hoof around my leg and her face down, covered in a sheet of darkness. She turned her head towards me, sending shivers down my spine. I suddenly remembered Alma from F.E.A.R. and knew she had nothing on Luna. Then she smiled at me evilly.
“Can’t teleport because of the pain to your stomach?” she asked creepily. I couldn’t reply out of fear and just nodded. That was when she did it. That was when I knew she was a total bro and one of my best friends ever. That was when she punched me in the balls.
I fell to the floor gasping and rolling around in pain, my tender boys screaming at my body, forcing waves of pain through me. I mentally cursed Luna and Twilight for mentioning the ramen.
“There you go Twilight. Now he won’t feel any pain from the teleportation. It’s like cutting off your wing to block the pain from your broken leg!” Luna said sadistically as she smiled at my pain. Twilight looked at Celestia in fear. All Celestia did was shrug and I felt the magical presence envelop me again. The last thing I saw before the flash of light was Luna’s evil, yet friendly smile. I knew I’d be seeing her again real soon.