//------------------------------// // How to Herd Wild Ponies (Too Many Pinkie Pies) // Story: The AppleDash Project: Wherever Life Takes Us // by bookplayer //------------------------------// As the sun went down, Rainbow Dash and Applejack returned to the newly built barn. It still smelled of sawed timber and paint, but it was well built and solid. Like AJ herself, but a lot less sexy, in Dash's opinion. Applejack flopped down on the freshly laid straw in the corner, and Dash grinned and landed next to her. Applejack just looked at her and smirked. “So, did ya' have a nice time relaxin' today?” Dash shot her a look, before flopping heavily onto the straw. “Well, you're the one that's been lookin' for more excitement,” Applejack pointed out with the same smirk. “Yeah, but a whole herd of Pinkie Pies. . . she could've at least waited 'til my day off!” “Ya' know, Dash, I don't think anypony's ever bothered to check my plans before they went and did somethin' foolish and excitin'.” “Good thing they don't, you're always working. Nothing exciting would ever happen.” Applejack considered that for a moment. “If, just for once, you, or Pinkie, or Twilight came up to me and said, 'Hey Applejack, tomorrow I'm gonna get myself into some great big mess that might ruin the whole town, that okay by you?' I might just take the day off. None of y'all are that polite, though.” Dash grinned at her. “Hey Applejack, I'm gonna get myself into a mess tomorrow, and the only way to stop it is to keep me distracted all day.” “Nice try, sugarcube.” Applejack chuckled. “I'm totally blaming you when my double whirlwind destroys the town.” Dash giggled. Then she rolled over and wrapped her forelegs around AJ. “Really, I do need some help with it. It could be a real pain in the tail if it gets out of control.” “I ain't your foal-sitter, Dash,” Applejack said, ruffling the rainbow mane. “There ain't enough bits in Equestria to make me take that job.” “I don't need a foal-sitter, just somepony to shout directions at me.” Dash gave a charming smile. “Come on, do it for Ponyville.” Applejack sighed. “I just don't got time. I got chores to get done, and my little cousin is comin' to stay with us.” She raised her eyebrows and gave a hopeful smile. “Say, I gotta help Apple Bloom and her friends make a float for the parade, you wanna help us instead?” Dash rolled her eyes. “Paper mache a giant apple, or practice an awesome flying trick. Gee, tough one.” Applejack's face fell, and she pulled away from Dash's forelegs. “I'm just tryin' to save everypony a couple hundred bits of property damage from that awesome flyin' trick. And for your information, it's a pumpkin.” “A pumpkin?” Dash furrowed her brow and looked at AJ. “Who are you, and what have you done with Applejack?” That brought a smile to AJ's face. “We don't got enough red paint left, after the barn. So we're mixin' it with some yellow paint Pinkie had, and there's only so many orange crops we grow 'round here.” “Okay, but just this once,” Dash said, smiling and poking AJ with a hoof. “You can't make this pumpkin thing a habit. Pumpkinjack just sounds creepy.” “I'll keep ya' safe.” Applejack smirked. “Hey, I could totally take your evil twin. If I can take a couple of dozen evil Pinkies, one evil AJ should be a piece of cake.” “They weren't exactly evil Pinkies, Dash.” Applejack pointed out. “And if I recall, you were hidin' with Fluttershy while I was out herdin' them.” “I totally saved your flank,” Dash protested. AJ raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, and how'd you do that?” “I found that Pinkie that you missed.” “That was more savin' Pinkie's flank than mine. And I think the family did a right good job, considerin' we ain't used to herdin' anythin' that bounces like that.” “You did better than with those bunnies a while ago.” Applejack narrowed her eyes at Dash. “We ain't talkin' 'bout that.” Dash giggled. “You're just lucky it wasn't me who copied myself. I woulda been all over Equestria before you could get your rope out.” “I dunno, I reckon I could wrangle a herd of you,” Applejack said, looking Dash up and down. “No way.” Dash gave a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Even if I wasn't faster than you-” “Which ya' ain't.” “Even if I wasn't faster than you, you know all the copies of me would be in the air.” Applejack smirked, and rolled onto her side, facing Dash. “I could do it. And I don't even need wings.” “I'd like to see you try!” “Simple, I'd just call up to y'all that whichever one is the most awesome gets a kiss.” Applejack slowly moved to lay on top of Dash, and smiled down at her. “Every last one of you would be on the ground in a second to claim it.” Dash looked up at AJ's half closed eyes, feeling their bodies pressed together. “. . .Okay, that's good.” “I know my girl.” “Hey, since there aren't a bunch of me, can I collect on that offer? I'm officially the most awesome Rainbow Dash in Equestria,” Dash suggested hopefully. “Well now, I guess ya' can.” Applejack leaned in and planted a long kiss on Rainbow Dash's lips. “Mmm.” Dash melted back into the hay, then grinned up at AJ. “I know how to wrangle a herd of Applejacks.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” Dash smirked. “I'd just tell 'em all I can last longer in the hay. They'd all run to prove me wrong.” Applejack chuckled and shook her head. “Dash, even if you could last longer than me in the hay-” “Which I totally can.” “Even if ya' could, you know darn well you can't last longer than a whole herd of me.” Dash wrapped her forelegs around AJ and pulled her close. “All of you would have to prove it.” “That'd kill you,” Applejack said, smiling and nuzzling Dash's cheek. “Maybe.” Dash smirked. “But of all the ways to go. . .”