//------------------------------// // Getting the Elements // Story: The Rainbow Blitz Disaster // by arglefumph //------------------------------// Stallion Universe Prince Solaris' sun burned brightly, causing heat to rise from the pavement near the Ponyville Train Station. The three mares quickly made their way to the ticket counter, in hopes of exchanging their tickets to Canterlot for tickets that left at an earlier date. Sadly, this was not to be. "What do you mean our money's no good here?" Rarity demanded. Rainbow Dash slammed her hoof on the counter. "We need to get to Canterlot, fast!" The train station attendant was undisturbed. "Look, you give me real money, I give you a ticket. That's how it works," he said. "But this is real money!" Pinkie Pie said. "Ha!" the attendant said. He held up the coin that Rarity had given him. "Tell me, whose picture is on this bit?" "Princess Celestia—oh," Rarity said. "Like I said, fake," the attendant said. "You either gimme somethin' with Prince Solaris' fancy mug on it, or you go home." The three mares walked away, upset. "Great, now what do we do?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Those tickets are for five days from now!" "I guess we have no choice but to wait it out," Rarity said. "I wonder why Solaris expected us to stay so long in Ponyville..." "I think it's great!" Pinkie Pie said. "We can have fun, and I can hang with my twin brother! We could throw a Super Interdimensional Pinkie Pie Party Bubble Berry Bash!" Rainbow Dash looked at Pinkie. "Call me crazy," she said, "but I get the sense you met Bubble Berry already." "Yep! We had a sleepover party last night!" Pinkie said. "He's sooo much FUN! Now we have to meet all the other ponies we know! Like Cheerilee and Lyra Heartstrings and Ditzy Doo and—" "That's it!" Rarity exclaimed suddenly. "What's it?" Pinkie asked. "Ditzy Doo! She's a mailmare!" Rarity said. "She can send a letter to Princess Celesti—er, that is, she can send a letter to Prince Solaris for us!" "It's worth a shot," Rainbow Dash shrugged. "To the post office!" Pinkie cried, pointing her hoof in the air heroically. Mare Universe Discord smiled, as he checked his pony captives. He knew this was the perfect plan to turn the Elements of Harmony into the Elements of Harm-ony. Twilight and Dusk Shine had gotten wise to Discord's game. The two of them were sitting still, not saying anything to each other. Bah. Boring know-it-alls. Applejack and Elusive were much more entertaining. The two ponies were currently trying to strangle each other. Discord chuckled with glee, and complimented himself for the idea of putting those two together. Ah, but his best idea was combining Fluttershy with Rainbow Blitz. The Master of Chaos had a special strategy in mind for them. He turned his ear towards the two ponies and listened to what they were saying. "Oh, no," Fluttershy moaned. "I don't like being trapped in here at all!" "I don't like it any more than you do," Rainbow Blitz said. "What if we die in here?" Fluttershy said. "I remember the last time Discord was here, and it was...bad..." "He said he'd let us out in two days, if none of us surrenders," Rainbow Blitz said. "What do you think he meant by that?" "I have no idea," Fluttershy said. Discord shook his head. What a boring conversation! He stretched out his hands and performed a little audio editing magic. Changing the things that Rainbow Blitz heard resulted in a much more interesting conversation. "Oh, no," Fluttershy moaned. "I don't like being trapped in here at all!" "I don't like it any more than you do," Rainbow Blitz said. "What if we die in here?" Fluttershy said. "I'll die without ever having kissed a stallion!" "You...you've never kissed a stallion?" Rainbow Blitz asked. "No," Fluttershy said. "But I'd really, really like to try." "Well, then," Rainbow Blitz said, slicking back his unkempt mane. "Today's your lucky day. I'm gonna immortalize you, babe!" Rainbow Blitz puckered up and moved in to kiss Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus had no way of expecting this to happen, and it scared her more than the fight with the changling army. She screamed and tried to escape. "Huh? Babe, why are you moving?" Rainbow asked. "HELP ME!" Fluttershy screamed. "HEEELP!" Discord laughed uproariously, then took a long, relaxing drink from his lemon-cherry soda. Stallion Universe It must have been a bad day for Fluttershies, no matter which universe they live in. Poor Butterscotch was also having problems. He was inside his cottage, with the door firmly locked. "Oh, Angela Bunny, I don't know what to do," Butterscotch sighed. "Half of my friends have disappeared! Now they're in a scary world where all the ponies are mares!" Angela Bunny rubbed her face against Butterscotch's leg in a comforting manner. Butterscotch picked up his friend and hugged her. "I have to go save them, but I don't know how," Butterscotch said. "And none of my friends can help, either! Applejack is busy with the farm, and Bubble Berry—" "Somepony say my name?" Bubble Berry asked, appearing from behind Butterscotch's couch. Butterscotch shrieked and fell backwards. "Bubble, how did you—?" the yellow stallion said. "Don't scare me like that!" "Ha ha ha! I'm not scary!" Bubble Berry said. "And I have great news! My twin sister is town, so we're having a humongous party!" "Your...sister?" Butterscotch asked. "I thought you said your family never comes to visit you." "They don't!" Bubble Berry said. "They spend all their time on the rock farm! I think they're mad because the last time they visited, I accidentally covered them in cake frosting." "Well, it's good your sister is in town," Butterscotch said. "But we've got an emergency! Elusive, Dusk and Spines have all disappeared from Ponyville!" Bubble Berry gasped. "Elusive and Spines are gone?" he asked. "Dusk Shine, too!" Butterscotch said. "There's only you, me and Applejack—" "I don't believe this!" Bubble Berry said, slamming his hooves on the ground. "Spines and Elusive must have run off to get married in Las Pegasus! I knew they would!" "Uh...I'm sorry, what?" Butterscotch asked. "I guess Elusive picked Dusk to be his best stallion," Bubble Berry said. "But really, why didn't they invite the rest of us? I wanted to see the wedding! That is so mean of them!" Bubble Berry stomped around angrily, frightening Angela Bunny, who hid behind Butterscotch's hind legs. "They didn't elope with each other," Butterscotch corrected. "They got taken to another dimension by some weird magic device!" "Oh," Bubble Berry said, instantly stopping in mid-stomp. "That makes more sense." Butterscotch sized up the pink stallion, who had a huge grin on his face. "It does?" "Yeah," Bubble nodded. That seemed like a bit of a leap, even for an off-the-wall pony like BB. "You think it makes sense that ponies can travel through dimensions," Butterscotch repeated. "That's how Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie got here, right?" Bubble Berry asked. With that, everything clicked in Butterscotch's mind. "You know about Pinkie Pie?" he asked. "She's my twin sister!" Bubble Berry said. "We had a huge sleepover and—why are you blushing?" "I'm... not..." Butterscotch said, blushing furiously at the thought of Pinkie Pie in pretty pink pajamas. "You're blushing!" Bubble Berry said. "You like her, don't you?" "NO!" Butterscotch said. "Oh my gosh, that is sooo cute!" Bubble Berry said. "I heard you had a crush on somepony, but I didn't know it was my sister! I can totally set you up with her!" "You can?" Butterscotch asked hopefully. Then he shook his head. "I mean, you don't think it's weird that I like her? Because she's you!" "Butter, my buddy, I always knew you'd find true love someday," Bubble Berry said, wrapping a hoof around his friend's shoulder. "Or, in this case, you have a crush on the first mare who's ever been nice to you. Either way, I'm not going to screw it up!" "That's...nice?" Butterscotch said. "Love is so fun, it makes me want to sing!" Bubble Berry said, jumping up and pulling out a microphone. Butterscotch, you need a mare Somepony to love and share "Please don't sing..." Butterscotch said. Pinkie Pie is the mare for you! She is the one you should pursue! You don't know what joy you're missing! I know for a fact she's good at kissing! "Okay, well, this has been nice, but I really need to go now," Butterscotch said, taking a few steps backwards towards the door of his cottage. "Bye!" "Huh? But I haven't finished my song!" Bubble Berry said. "I didn't even get to the chorus!" "Sorry, but I don't want to sing about kissing mares," Butterscotch said. Bubble Berry cracked up. "Ha ha ha! HA HA HA!" he said. "You thought—that's not—ha ha ha! You don't need to worry about that!" "I-I don't?" Butterscotch asked. A dark shadow passed over Bubble Berry's face, as his hair straightened. "If you even think about kissing my twin sister, I am going to hurt you," Bubble Berry said. "I will hurt you very badly, for a very long time." Butterscotch shivered uncontrollably in fear. Bubble Berry returned to his normal bubbly self. "So you don't have to worry about ever kissing her!" Bubble Berry said. "Great, that means it's settled! Come to the party tonight at seven, and I'll set you and Pinkie Pie up on a date! See you then!" Bubble Berry bounced off, looking for more people to invite to the party. Butterscotch immediately scooped up his pet bunny, ran inside his cottage, and locked all the doors. "Angela, do you think I could get away with never leaving my house again?" Butterscotch asked seriously. Mare Universe Spines ran through the castle as fast as her chubby legs could take her. Once she realized she Discord wasn't chasing her, she stopped to catch her breath. "What do I do? What do I do?" Spines asked herself. "That monster took my friends and the princess!" Spines' fear instantly disappeared, as the solution hit her. "There's more than one Princess who can use the Elements of Harmony!" she said. Spines made haste to Princess Luna's bedchambers. She was vaguely familiar with the castle's layout, as it resembled the castle from her own universe. Spines was almost in the home stretch, when she ran into a burly security guard. "No dragons allowed here," he said. Spines looked up at the large guard. He was wearing dark purple armor with bat-like wings sticking out of the sides. His appearance practically screamed "pony you do not want to mess with". "Please, I need to talk to Princess Artemis," Spines said. "It's urgent." "Arta-what?" the guard asked. "Oh," Spines said. Artemis was normally a girl's name, but apparently the female Artemis was called something else. "I mean, Princess Selene?" The guard glared at Spines. "The big blue pony who moves the moon across the sky!" Spines said. "Princess Luna is not in the habit of meeting with ponies who don't even know her name," the guard said. "Beat it." "But this is an emergency!" Spines said. "Discord is on the loose and he's torturing my friends!" "Discord is a statue, kid," the guard said. "Now LEAVE!" The guard made a sweeping motion with his hoof, and Spines went sprawling across the floor. She got up, clenched her fists, then walked over to the guard again. "Look, I don't care if you're a dragon," the guard said. "Luna has special orders to prevent anypony from entering." "Are you a pegasus?" Spines asked curiously. "What kind of stupid question is that?" the guard asked. "Are you dense?" Spines took in a deep breath and breathed out fire on the guard's bat-like wings. They quickly caught fire, causing the guard to scream and run away in search of water. "Ha, I thought those wings were just for decoration," Spines said smugly. She pushed open the doors to Luna's personal chambers and went inside. Princess Luna was on her hind legs, in front of her bed. She was wearing an 80's-style pink dance workout suit, and she was dancing like there was no tomorrow. "Uh...Princess Luna?" Spines asked. "AAAAAAA!" Luna screamed, when she saw Spines. "AAAAAA!" Spines screamed, falling over backwards. "How dare you come in without knocking first?" Luna demanded. "Spike the Dragon, you shall pay for such—wait, you're not Spike." "I'm Spines," Spines said. "And I'm sorry for interrupting you, but we have a major problem. Discord is on the loose!" "Discord?" Luna asked. Her eyes narrowed. "Tell me exactly what happened." Spines explained the situation as best she could, while Luna quickly changed out of her workout clothes and back into her normal regal attire. The Princess did a quick fly-over the garden where Discord's statue was kept; as she feared, the statue had disappeared completely. "You're right," Luna said grimly, as she landed on her balcony, next to Spines. "If Celestia and the Elements have been captured, then you and I are the only ones who can save Equestria from Discord's madness." "How?" Spines asked. "I'm not entirely sure," Luna confessed. "If we're lucky, Princess Cadance and her husband haven't left for the Crystal Empire yet. In any case, our first priority is securing the Elements of Harmony. Climb on." Luna knelt down so Spines could climb onto her back. She warned Spines to hold tight as she flew into the sky at top speed, going towards the part of the castle where the Elements were kept. The poor baby dragon got airsickness from being so high up, but she managed to keep her head. "But—but Discord stole the Elements!" Spines said. "Impossible. Only the princesses can get to the Elements of Harmony," Princess Luna said. "I am sure that Discord has not touched them." "If you say so..." Spines said. The Princess landed, and Spines jumped off her back. Spines followed her to an impressive blue safe, with a locked drawer and a slot. "Is this where they normally keep the Elements?" Spines wondered. "Yes," Luna said. She carefully put her horn into the slot, and the drawer popped open, revealing Canterlot's greatest magical treasure. Instantly, a blaring alarm sounded. Spines covered her ears with her hands. "What's happening?" she asked. "An alarm!" Princess Luna said. "Discord must have put a guard on the Elements!" She used her magic to take out the Elements of Harmony, and she dumped all six of them on Spines. "Quickly!" "Quickly—what?" Spines asked. "Keep them safe," Luna said. "When the coast is clear, I will come to you." Spines made a questioning sound, as Luna touched her horn to the dragon's head and performed a quick teleportation spell. Spines—and the Elements of Harmony she was holding—vanished. Luna raised her head and took a deep breath, preparing herself for what was about to happen. A popping sound came from behind her, shortly followed by a sinister voice. "Well, well, well," the voice said. "Somepony's trying to get the Elements of Harmony." Princess Luna turned around, making sure her body blocked the drawer from Discord's sight, lest he notice it was empty. She discretely took a step backwards, shutting the drawer with her hindquarters. "Discord, you foul demon!" Luna said. "Once I finish with you—" "Princess Luna?" Discord asked, surprised. "You—weren't you banished to the moon?" "I...escaped," Luna said tersely. "And so did I," Discord sneered. "Let's see if you can stop me without your precious older sister to take care of you." Luna prepared her magic and charged at Discord.