Stallion Universe
Pinkie Pie sniffed loudly and wiped one of her wet eyes as she looked up at her stallion self. Bubble Berry appeared to be half-awake.
"Nothing's going on," Mrs. Cake called up to Bubble Berry. "This mare just showed up in our house and—"
Suddenly, Bubble Berry's eyes almost popped out of his head, as he caught a glimpse of what appeared to be the most attractive mare ever, sitting in his house. He squealed loudly.
"I'll be right down!" Bubble Berry said. He ducked into his room and presently came out, sliding down a staircase banister and hopping off towards the others.
"Bubble..." Mr. Cake said warily.
"Here," Bubble Berry said, holding out a handkerchief to Pinkie Pie. "I saw you needed one of these."
Pinkie gave a weak smile as she took the handkerchief. She blew her nose in the middle, then wiped her eyes with the corners.
"Feel better?" Berry Bubble asked.
"Uh huh..." Pinkie said softly, nodding a bit. "Thank you."
The Cakes exchanged a look. Bubble Berry was being uncharacteristically chivalrous.
"I don't want to see you sad anymore, okay?" Bubble Berry said, putting a compassionate hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "A pretty mare like you shouldn't need to cry."
"You think I'm pretty?" Pinkie Pie asked. That wasn't a word most ponies used to describe her. "Energetic" or "crazy", yes, but not "pretty".
"I think you're really pretty!" Bubble Berry said, grinning hugely. "You're like the prettiest mare in all of Prettydom! I'm Bubble Berry! Who are you?"
Pinkie took a moment to shake her body and stand back up on all four hooves. "I'm Pinkie Pie!" she said, in a more cheery voice. "I'm your twin sister!"
"Twin sister?" the Cakes gasped in horror.
"Huh, I don't remember having one of those..." Bubble Berry said, scratching his head.
"I'm from the same universe as Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie said. "You know all about that, right?"
Bubble Berry was a tad surprised. To be honest, he had never fully believed Rainbow Dash's story about the mare universe. But there was no longer any reason to doubt.
"Of course!" Bubble Berry said. He wrapped Pinkie Pie in a big bear hug. "Pinkie Pie, my favorite twin! How could I forget about you?"
"You're my favorite twin, too!" Pinkie Pie said. "I always wanted a brother!"
"And I always wanted a little sister!" Bubble Berry said.
"Hey!" Pinkie Pie said. "I'm not a little sister! I'm the big sister!"
"Awh, I wanted to be the older one!" Bubble Berry said. He pouted for a second, then stopped. "Wait! If we're related...does that mean it's awkward I called you pretty?"
"No way," Pinkie Pie said. "I know I'm hot."
"Am I hot?" Bubble Berry asked.
"You are the hottest stallion ever!" Pinkie Pie said. "Except for the ones with big muscles and perfect hair and clean teeth. But who cares? You're pink! BEST! COLOR! EVER!"
"Pink power!" Bubble Berry cheered.
By this point, the two Cakes had crossed over to the other side of the room. They were conversing in low tones, so the two pink ponies wouldn't overhear them.
"Bubble Berry has a twin?" Mr. Cake asked.
"It looks like it," Mrs. Cake said. "They even have the same cutie mark!"
"This feels like a disaster waiting to happen," Mr. Cake said. "I should probably warn Mayor Mustang, just in case the town explodes."
"Don't be silly," Mrs. Cake said. "They seem to be getting along fine."
Mr. Cake glanced at the two pink ponies, who were singing and dancing about their newfound interdimensional friendship.
I found a brand new best friend, and it's me!
I found a brand new best friend, and it's me!
Now that I found you,
We can be a duo!
"I guess they seem harmless enough," Mr. Cake said. "But what about the rules?"
The Cakes had a number of rules that Bubble Berry had to follow, if he wanted to continue living with them. Right after "no loud party music if the babies are asleep", there was a rule about not having mares spend the night.
"We can make an exception," Mrs. Cake said. "What's the worst that could happen?
Mare Universe
If your idea of "the worst that could happen" is "an unstoppable, all-powerful trickster on the loose", then the worst that could happen was happening.
"Isn't this a curious situation?" Discord asked. "It looks like you've traded some of your mares in for stallions!"
"Discord!" Princess Celestia said, pawing the ground with one hoof. "You're behind Rainbow Dash's disappearance?"
Discord chuckled. He had nothing to do with the Rainbow Blitz disaster, but if the princess wanted to think otherwise, he wouldn't argue. A good villain never turns down a chance to appear more powerful than he actually is.
"You've all been brewing up such wonderful chaos lately, that I decided I just had to pay you a visit," Discord said. "Did you miss me?"
Spines gulped. "Is that thing...Eris?" he asked.
"Has to be," Elusive said. "Nothing else looks quite like her, no matter which universe you're in."
"I'll hold Discord off," Celestia said. "You girls get the Elements of Harmony, and—"
"You mean these?" Discord said, pulling a suitcase from out of nowhere and opening it to show all six Elements of Harmony were inside. Discord dismissively tossed it towards his foes.
"Go ahead, try and use them!" he said. "You can't do it without your wimpy little friends!"
"He's right!" Twilight gasped. "Without all six of us here, the Elements don't work!"
"Well, what do we do, then?" Applejack asked.
"I...I'm not sure!" Celestia said. "But we can't give up hope! We must stop Discord!"
"Your threats mean nothing!" Discord said. "You can't turn me into stone without your precious Elements!"
Discord snapped his fingers and howled with delight as Celestia was slowly turned into stone, from the bottom up. Twilight Sparkle's scream of horror was particularly pleasant to the draconequus' ears.
"The shoe's on the other hoof now, isn't it?" Discord asked.
"You can't get away with this!" Celestia said. "We'll—augg." Her speech was cut off as her mouth turned to stone.
"Really, isn't this what they call 'poetic justice'?" Discord asked. "You turn me into stone for a thousand years, I turn you into stone...it's only fair, isn't it? I know how much you love fairness..."
Twilight Sparkle turned to her friends, and they all huddled up together. "Quickly, while he's distracted!" she said. "We have to stop him!"
"We'll help!" Dusk Shine said. He cast a side glance at his stallion friends. "We can wield the Elements of Harmony, right, bronies?"
"Darn right!" Rainbow Blitz said.
"Perfect!" Twilight said. "Dusk, you can replace Pinkie Pie...Elusive, you should be Rarity...and Spines, you're the new Rainbow Dash."
"Whaaat?" Rainbow Blitz asked. "If anypony's going to be Rainbow Dash, it'll be me!"
"Is Pinkie Pie Bubble Berry?" Dusk asked. "Because that's a problem. I'm not the Element of Laughter."
"This ain't the time to be arguing!" Applejack said, grabbing her necklace and putting it on. "It's time to get going afore Discord—"
"No," Elusive said.
"What do you mean, 'no'?" Applejack asked.
"Well, not to be rude, but I don't want to be an Element of Harmony in this universe," Elusive said.
Discord fist-pumped. "Score another point for chaos!" he said.
"An' why not?"
"The Elements in this universe are...er..." Elusive said. He pointed towards them with his hoof. "They're girly-looking necklaces! I can't be seen wearing one of those!"
"He's got a point..." Rainbow Blitz said.
Dusk Shine frowned, when he saw the mare version of his Element wasn't a crown. "Uh...I agree," he said. "Besides, I don't think that tiara would fit me..."
"Why, I disagree!" Discord said, suddenly putting his chin on Dusk's shoulder. "You'd look adorable in that sparkly tiara!"
"Augh!" Dusk Shine cried, jumping left to get away from Discord. "Get off! Get off! Get off!"
"No time to argue!" Twilight said, using her magic to throw the Elements of Harmony at the colts. "Just put them on!"
Discord laughed to himself, then leaned back comfortably. He wasn't worried in the slightest. For one thing, he was certain that the Elements of Harmony would not work if they tried to replace half of the bearers with new ponies. For another thing, the gold-covered necklaces in the suitcase were fakes. Do you really think Discord would be stupid enough to give his enemies the real Elements of Harmony? Puh-lease.
"Discord, it's time to surrender!" Twilight Sparkle said. Her eyes glowed as she flew upwards. "There's no—ow!"
She bumped into Dusk Shine, who was also floating upwards. "You're in the way!" he said.
"I'm in the center!" Twilight said. "You're on the outside!"
"Where?" he asked. "Bottom/left? Does the positioning matter?"
Discord sighed in happiness. Such bickering among the chosen Elements of the Harmony warmed his cruel heart...and the best part was that he hadn't even started manipulating them!
"Just get out of my way!" Twilight said. "I can't—huh?"
With a loud squeak, the tiara on Twilight's head turned into a rubber duck. Similar things happened to the other elements. Discord howled with laughter.
"You should see the looks on your faces!" Discord said. "Oh, priceless!"
"It was a trick," Twilight said unnecessarily. "Not funny, Discord."
"On the contrary, my little pony, it's hilarious!" Discord said.
Elusive was holding his head in his hooves. "All I wanted to do was go on a date with a nice mare," he said. "How did my night turn into this?"
Fluttershy scrunched up. "This is bad. This is bad." she kept repeating to herself.
"Where are the real Elements of Harmony?" Twilight Sparkle demanded.
"Oh, I hid them in a very special place," Discord said. "If you want to find them, you'll have to play a game."
"Again?" Twilight. "You did this last time."
"Not like last time!" Discord said, his eyes suddenly turning to flame. "This time, you will lose, Twilight Sparkle!"
"Uh..." Twilight said, gritting her teeth. Suddenly, antagonizing Discord seemed like a bad idea.
"Teams of two this time," Discord said. "Enjoy!" He snapped his fingers, and the six ponies disappeared, leaving behind a very frightened baby dragon.
Discord sized Spines up for a second, then flew straight at her. "Boo!" he shouted.
"AAAAAAA!" Spines screamed, running out of the room with her hands in the air.
Stallion Universe
When Rarity went downstairs the next morning, she was startled to find a small filly in the kitchen.
"Surprise!" the filly said. "I made breakfast!"
"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity asked.
"My name's Silver Bell," the young colt said. Silver Bell was marshmallow colored, with silver-and-purple hair. His mane was naturally curly, but he clearly did not take good care of it, for it was much scruffier than Rarity would have liked.
"I'm Rarity," Rarity introduced herself. "I am...your brother's friend."
"You mean like a normal friend, or one of his special friends?" Silver Bell asked.
Rarity stood up straighter at that question. "What do you mean?" she asked.
"Elusive likes to bring strange mares to his house," Silver Bell said. "He calls them his 'special' friends."
"He—what?"
The young filly seemed eager to explain. "When one of his special mare friends come over, they go to his room and lock the door," he said. "Then they stay up really late, making all sorts of crazy loud noises! I don't like it, because it makes it hard for me to sleep."
Rarity was aghast. If Elusive was doing what it sounded like he was doing...
"These mares your brother brings over," Rarity said. Are they—?"
"You're one of 'em, right?" Silver Bell said. "That means you're gonna leave after breakfast. They all do."
"No!" Rarity said. "That can't be!" Her colt self was...promiscuous? A mare chaser? Unthinkable!
"Silver Bell," Rarity said seriously. "This is very important. How often does your brother bring mares home with him?"
"He usually gets a new one every day," Silver Bell said. "He says mares are—"
"AAAAAAAAA!" Rarity screamed. She put a hoof to her forehead and fainted.
There was silence in the kitchen for a moment, followed by unbridled laughter as a light blue pegasus stepped out from her hiding spot near the fridge. "Ha ha ha ha! It worked!" Rainbow Dash said. "We totally got her!"
"Yeah!" Silver Bell said, jumping up in excitement. "I said exactly what you told me to, and she screamed!"
Rainbow Dash laughed some more. "That was hilarious!" she said. "She totally fell for it!"
Silver checked his flank, then frowned. "Aw, I didn't get my practical joke cutie mark..." he said. "Why did she scream, though? What did those weird things mean?"
"Uh...you'll find out when you're older, kid," Rainbow Dash said. "Either way, that was the best joke ever."
Rarity's eyes snapped open. "A joke?" she cried.
"Uh oh," Rainbow Dash said.
Rarity got to her feet, practically breathing fire. "RAINBOW DASH!" she said. "SWEETIE BELLE!"
"Uh, my name's not really—" Silver began to say.
"Forget that, kid!" Rainbow Dash advised. "Ruuuuuuuun!"
Mare Universe
For a moment, everything was darkness, and Twilight Sparkle had no idea where she was. She had the odd sensation of falling sideways for ten seconds, before she landed on her hooves.
"Ugh!" she grunted. Beside her, another pony grunted as well. In the dim light, she could see that it was Dusk Shine.
The two purple ponies instinctively looked upwards, to the only source of light. It appeared the two of them were at the bottom of an empty well.
"Hello, my little ponies..." Discord's voice said, even though the monster himself was nowhere in sight. His voice echoed off the walls, which made it sound deeper than normal.
"Where are we?" Twilight asked.
"In a well, of course," Discord said. "There are two of you, so I figure I'll let you rot in there for, oh, two days?"
Twilight looked in all directions, trying to find the source of Discord's voice. She eventually settled for looking upwards. "How do we get out?" she asked.
"Oh, it's simple," Discord said. "Just surrender to me. Surrendering gets you a one-way ticket outta here!"
"Never!" Twilight said.
"Suit yourself," Discord said. "You'll change your mind soon enough, when you learn what Dusk Shine really thinks about you."
Twilight cast a glance at her male partner. "Uh...do you have any idea what's going on here?" she asked. "Because I'm a little confused."
Dusk nodded grimly. "Don't worry," he said. "I know exactly what Discord is up to. Eris did the same thing, the third time she escaped. She tried to isolate us, so we would betray each other."
Twilight took a moment to wonder why the Spirit of Chaos would appear more often in Dusk's world—perhaps a universe dominated by stallions was inherently more chaotic than a universe run by mares?—before asking, "How do we get out of this?"
"We trust each other, and we trust our friends," Dusk Shine said. "No matter what, we don't let Discord twist our feelings around. Isn't that right, you stupid little brat?"
"Huh?" Twilight asked.
"Isn't that right, you pathetic, useless dolt?" Dusk Shine asked. "What, are you too stupid to understand a simple sentence?"
Twilight took a step back and bumped up against the wall. "I...I must be hearing things," she said.
Dusk Shine's ears flattened backwards, as a sad look appeared on his face. "What?" he asked. "Why...why would you say something mean like that?"
"I didn't say anything mean," Twilight said. "You're the one who called me a brat!"
"Mom did not say anything like that to me!" Dusk Shine said. "Just because I've never had a marefriend doesn't mean I'm useless!"
Something clicked inside Twilight's brain. "Discord!" she said. "He must be changing what we're hearing!"
Dusk put his hooves in his ears. "La la la la la! I'm not listening!" he said.
"No, Dusk!" Twilight said. "Discord is changing what we're saying! You think I'm saying horrible things, when really I—"
Dusk Shine slapped Twilight. "You [bad word]!" he said.
"Getting along well, are you?" Discord chuckled. "I haven't even finished explaining the rules."
"The rules?" Twilight asked.
"I said that you can surrender at any time to get out of here," Discord said. "That's true, but only one pony can surrender."
"Huh?"
"You surrender, you get out. Your partner, on the other hand? He gets left behind," Discord said. "Stuck in a well for all eternity..."
"Are you crazy?" Twilight asked. "I'm not going to leave Dusk stranded here forever!"
"Are you suuure?" Discord asked. "Do you think he's trustworthy? What if he decides to betray you first? Then you're stuck here!"
Twilight looked at Dusk Shine. "You won't betray me, right?" she asked.
"I would do anything to ruin your waste of a life," Dusk replied.
"Quit messing with our words!" Twilight said. "I want to talk to the real Dusk!"
"But Twilight, I am the real Dusk," Dusk said. "It hurts me that you don't believe me."
"Ah, but she never really believes her friends, does she?" Discord asked. "The only pony she cares about is herself. Isn't that right?"
"I wouldn't know," Dusk said. "Personally, I don't really pay much attention to her. She's a bore."
Twilight slumped on the ground. She wasn't sure she could take two days of this.