//------------------------------//
// To Prevent All Other Breaking (Big Mac) 
// Story: Where Mad Gods Dance 
// by Cynewulf 
//------------------------------//

To Prevent All Other Breaking






Dear Applejack,


Why do I write you, you ask? Instead of Fluttershy, my wife? A fair question, one I think is better answered by just ignoring it for now and continuing on with my story.

The Zebraharan mercenaries cry out when they come rushing in, did you know that? They do. It’s a terrible sound that just ‘bout curdles the blood. It’s a sound I expect to come out of the Everfree some moonless night, and yet it comes out of them, just ponies. Well, not ponies. They look like ponies, they talk like ponies sometimes, but they aren’t ponies. Applejack, I know this is hard, but you have to believe me.

We linked up with the King’s forces yesterday. Good Zebras, though we don’t trust them. We watch their every movement and I know they’re watching ours. They looks just like the warriors following the mad god king in the Crags. The only difference, really, is in the colors they wear: good is green and yellow and bad is red and black. They paint their faces in the same swirls usually, with little dots and arrows. They both yell that awful yell.

I just wanted to help ponies, sister. 

We’d cornered them, you see. It took us months to do it, but we finally did. You can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to fight the rebels out on the sands. They have no honor, know no goodness or common decency that we can tell. They’ll kill anything if they need to, burn anything. They jump out of the ground and vanish just as quickly. I’m beginning to understand why earth ponies in the old days hated magic. I’m beginning to fear it myself, because they all use it here. It comes in little vials they drop.

I’m sorry. I just keep getting distracted. I don’t

Sorry. We did it like you and Winona herd cattle sometimes. I explained it to my troops, and they all got a grin out of it. Just a little one.

But eventually they made it to that little village. None of us had thought about it. It wasn’t big enough to hide them all in or for them to disappear. They just wanted to kill, I think. Part of me wonders if it wasn’t always just a kind of animal rage. They like blood, the mad god’s devotees, you know. That’s what they told me. I believe them. It helps me sleep.

We moved in. My hoofblades were out and ready, we were drawn up in a long line, staggered so they couldn’t take us out in bundles. The zebras on our side were at the other end of town, and we closed in on them like teeth on a piece of celery. I’d hoped we’d crush them like it too, dear sister. I was so excited that morning. I thought that they’d go out in a brief burst and then we would rule that flat desert. It was one of the last raving bands, Applejack! I was promised leave when the job was done by the Princess herself. She looked so sad, Applejack. I wondered why.

We advanced. I could feel the righteous indignation rising up in me, that they would hide in such a place. My soldiers all had strictest orders to take care with the innocents—we’d do what they wouldn’t. We’d be better. We grappled with monsters, Applejack. We had to believe that we wouldn’t be them. That ponies were good, Applejack. We were going to prove it. I was going to prove it to them.

And then the arrows started. They’re damned good archers. I heard ponies crying out. I felt sweat pour down my face. I felt the heat of my barding’s metal and the nervous rush of adrenaline like ants crawlin all over my skin. I didn’t yell. You know me, I’m not one for noise.

And then I was in the streets. I took one, then another. They’re wide eyed, when they die. Applejack, I see them, monstrous in death, bloated, eyes staring out at something nameless and horrible and I

I’m sorry. I had Red Clover. Yes, I had to think for a moment. I had Red Clover with me. We worked up the street. It was after four, we’d been pushing their scouts back. No. It was later. I don’t even know anymore. It all runs together. Lunadammit but I hate sand Applejack. But it was getting late. It was not working, something was wrong. I knew it. I could just feel that somewhere something wasn’t working somepony—some zebra wasn’t dying and it made me furious. They laugh when they dance—they call fighting dancing. I think they’re stupid. Ain’t dancing at all. Dancin is a thing for your special somepony, not for some lunadamned Zebra with wide eyes and stripes all painted up red.

And I bucked one in the face and I felt his bones crack and it made me think about home. Time moves so slow and so fast, Applejack. Nothing makes sense in the village. Nothing you do makes sense. You should just keep moving, call out, try to be in command. But you don’t. You feel lost. Where is everpony? What’s happened? Where’s Red Clover? Red Clover is dead, they blew his head off. Explosive potion. They throw them and glass and thaumaturgic death goes everywhere. It’s awful. It burns

I’m sorry

I was angry. They were all monsters. This was hell. They were all in hell and I was in hell with them. I could smell blood. There was so much blood. Somezebra through a potion out of the alley and dodged it and I don’t know what happened but he died and he stared with wide eyes at the wall of the hut. I cried for somepony but nopony came, my voice is really loud when I yell they had to hear me but they didn’t or they were dead. And then I run and I hear something moving and one of those shrill cries and I just know everything’s gone to hell I’ll never see my Flutters again and I hate them. I hate them so much. I yell back. It sounds the same. I see him coming out of a door way with a hoofblade and I take him I dig my own in his neck and he starts screaming and falls back and we’re in the house. Oh god Applejack are there tears on this? I can’t see. I don’t have time to start over. I have thirty minutes and that’s it. They told me. I’m trying.

And then I heard another scream and it was high pitched. I thought it was another attack and I jumped and I felt myself hitting something soft and I stabbed it, twice, thrice it started screaming. I panicked, I fell back, it went still.

I noticed her pretty mane and her pretty face. I ruined it AJ there ain’t nothing left of it not a lundammed thing. Ain’t nothing left. She was young. It was her house. It coulda been my house. It was hers, though and I killed her. I didn’t even bother to look I just killed her and I knew that the male was her husband I wondered if he even knew if I was a pony or a zebra. I think he heard the explosion and though I was coming in to kill him or that the Disciples had turned to murder to make our victory hollow. I don’t know

They’re all animals though, AJ. They’re all animals. I tell myself that. I glare at the King’s zebras and I hate them, I think. I don’t know. I want to. I want to really badly. They’re all just animals. It’s alright. They murder

I think everyone will be silent tonight.

Tell Fluttershy I’m fine. 

She looked like Fluttershy, a little. I think I went crazy AJ in the torchlight it was getting dark and I couldn’t see well and I thought I saw a pink mane. 

I don’t want to sleep anymore. I don’t think she’s gonna wanna see me.

Big Mac