//------------------------------// // The Cutie Mark Caper // Story: Pinkamena Diane Pie: Consultant Detective // by Time Pony Victorious //------------------------------// The city of Manehattan was the quintessential center of modernization and elegance. Other than Canterlot, this is the place to go to in Equestria if you wish for sophistication. The traffic of ponies, the grand skyscrapers, the amazing architectures would assault you immediately, granting the full experience of sociological innovation. The days of rustic villages were far behind cities like Manehattan. With that said, however, the traditions haven't changed with the geographic. Cutie marks are still considered major social factors to young fillies and colts, and things like special talents are held highly. Although it is not queer to witness a pony going against his or her cutie mark and engage in another special talent, typically, deviants like that are rare. It was late, on a school night much less. The night sky was beautiful as the moon shone over the entirety of Manehattan. Few streetlamps idled, providing very little light in the monolith that is this island-city. It is perceived as dangerous for young ponies to be out and about in the city like this, which is why, unsurprisingly enough, the younglings lingered on the streets. Cherry Bomb, a young unicorn mare with a sea-green mane and a teal coat, giggled as her coltfriend, Evening Star, a pegasus with a rough appearance, tough looking face, black coat and a dark mane, told a joke concerning their elderly teacher. These two vagrants straggled almost drunkenly on the sidewalk. Bumping into each other lazily, giggling madly, and slurring their words as their breath stunk of spiced apple cider. Cherry looked down at her flank, barely covered by her jean jacket, and smiled; her cutie mark had appeared last night. She was a late bloomer, much older than most ponies when receiving her cutie mark, which had depicted a professional microphone; complementing her love of singing and dreams of becoming a professional. Evening Star's cutie mark was simply a pegasus wing, in profile, with motion blur on it, accurately displaying his love for flying and aspirations of becoming a Wonderbolt, as is typical of most pegasi stallions. The young couple had lied about a study session taking place at the local library, where they went wasn't conducive to studying and lacked the plethora of books held at the library. After a few hours of partying, part celebrating Cherry's cutie mark, part sneaking out for the sheer fun of it, they awkwardly trotted home, barely able to remain horizontal and coherent. Their senses were dull, but even if they were alert and aware, they wouldn't have noticed their stalker. A shadow in the city of shadows, it lurked closely behind. Not too far to have lost sight of them, and not too close to garner attention, this was the work of a well-versed lurker. Cherry cackled as Evening told another joke, this time exaggerating the flank of their history teacher to hyperbolic measures. It was a happy time for her, gaining her cutie mark, having a good time with her coltfriend, nothing could have ruined it. As they cornered Malcolt X Avenue, the stalker quickly pursued. The streets were completely barren of anypony, there would be no witnesses. Approaching the couple from behind, this criminal smiled under the shroud it wore; black as night, like a creature of darkness. Cherry was the first to notice, the air around them changed. She glanced over her shoulder and saw a wicked face, contorted into a horrible smile. It was all she could do to scream. ~--~ My friend, Pinkie Pie, was a rather strange pony. As a detective, she was brilliant, insightful and had a keen logical mind that can see through you as if you were transparent. With a single glance, Pinkie would be able to tell your entire life story. Indeed a startling ability for one as eccentric as she, but that wasn't why she was strange. Pinkie was happy-go-lucky, always wearing a smile on her face, always cheerful and kind. She goes out of her way to help ponies, to make them smile as wide as a mile. However, despite how intelligent she is, Pinkie is rather dim when it comes to some things. Frowning at my desk, I brandished a scroll and a quill. I began to write: Pinkamena Diane Pie – her limits Her knowledge base Literature – none Philosophy – none Astronomy – none Politics – comprehension akin to that of a filly's Biological Sciences – some; she knows of the biological systems of some creatures and ponies, enough for moderate martial efficacy Geology – practical, but finite; can identify soils from different places Chemistry – expert; but her cooking ability varies Physics – questionable My frown deepened. I wasn't getting anywhere with this list, it hadn't mattered what Pinkie knew and didn't know, her knowledge was quite vast regardless. She surprised me every day it seems when she spouts off random facts. Like how Princesses Celestia gets her mane fixed in that floaty, magical manner. But, if you were to ask her of the simplest questions, she would be stumped. For example: she was unaware that the earth revolved around the sun and that the sun rising is simply the Princess's efforts to accelerate its rotation. It was elementary this knowledge! It is incredible how Pinkie can see right through anypony in seconds but remain ignorant on simple facts. I wondered this as I sat with my head propped up on my table, gazing over the library as Pinkie scurried about, throwing numerous books off the shelves and reading them as quickly as she possibly could. Spike, my number one assistant, the poor dear was desperately trying to keep up with the hyperactive pony. "Pinkie!" he cried, "If you could just – ah! – calm down for a second, I could hel- ah! – help you!" With each exclamation, he jumped to catch a falling book she had thrown. His skills as a bookkeeper were unparalleled as he didn't miss a single book and had precariously balanced them on his claws and tail. "No time!" Pinkie huffed, throwing yet another book over her shoulder, "It'll be faster if I do it like this. Besides, Twi said it's alright, right?" She looked up at me and I just smiled at her reassuringly, promising that it was indeed alright. Usually, I wouldn't allow such a mess to occur in the library, but I made an exception with Pinkie. Not only was she my friend, but she required a consultation on a case she was on. Besides, the library is always messy. The case in question was concerning a possible griffon attack in Cloudsdale. Pinkie wanted to read up on griffon culture and the sociology behind them, for the life of me I don't know why she would want to, but she had explained that this information was imperative to the case. So, I let her borrow the library for an hour. The result: a great big mess. "Pinkie," I muttered sullenly, "How would this information help you anyways?" She emerged from a pile of books with a book covering her entire face, but she looked toward me anyways with that silly look, "Proof! If I can prove that it wasn't a griffon that attacked her, then I could clear the suspect!" "And how do you plan to do that?" snapped Spike as he went over to pick up a few books. "There is already enough proof, it's just the police won't look closely enough! All I really need is one more piece of evidence!" she insisted. "Like what?" Spike asked. Pinkie giggled as she threw a book at Spike, "You're sounding a lot like Twilight, Spike! You guys ask a lot of silly questions, because the answer is simple. This!" She had spread open a book over the table and pointed to a specific passage. Crumbling up my paper, I trotted downstairs and looked at the book. It depicted the attack patterns of the griffon in that they would attack vitals first rather than waste time on center of mass. Meaning they would go for the throat, eyes, etcetera, to kill rather than disable. "How does this prove anything?" I asked. "The pony that was attacked was only cut on her legs and suffered a nasty bruise to her head. If a griffon, someone that is usually twice the size of a fully grown pegasus, attacked a pony, they wouldn't go for the legs," she explained. "Well, maybe this griffon wasn't trying to kill that pegasus," offered Spike, "Maybe it was just a grudge." "Doesn't matter anyways, since the wounds the pegasus suffered weren't from a pegasus. They were from a pony." "Pinkie, don't be ridiculous." Rolling my eyes, I stepped in front of her and showed her my hooves, "No claws or talons, no physical way to cut somepony." "You have teeth don't you?" A sly smile appeared on her face as I realized what she was saying. "Come on, are you trying to say that the police mistaken teeth marks for griffon cuts," argued Spike. "They don't have to. They don't exactly have a forensics team, so there is no way to tell the difference really especially if the suspect dragged their bite to obscure it. However, all they had to do was take the pony's word. She's the one who suggested that her attacker was a griffon, there's no real good reason to argue especially with how poorly pegasi and griffons get along." "Discrimination?" I mused. "Yeppers!" she cried. How depressing, the negativity toward griffons exceeded social stigma and even extended to politics and crime. I've never gotten along with griffons too much, they consider most unicorns as elitist snobs, but that doesn't mean I would dislike any griffon I would meet. "So, you're done now?" asked Spike with obvious hope. "Yep! Come on Twi, let's go clear her name!" Pinkie declared, quickly dragging me out of the library and down toward city hall. I tried to protest, considering I knew literally nothing of the case. I hadn't been involved because Pinkie jumps from case to case very fast. Two nights ago she was on a case of a disappearing goose, then another on a young pony who claimed that his comic books were being reenacted in real life. I was burnt out by the second night and when I woke up she was on this case of the griffons. It was hard to keep up with Pinkie, even more so if she is on a roll with her cases. When we arrived at City Hall, we were greeted by Mayor Mare (the real one, of course) and went back to the makeshift cells. Ponyville had no official police force, so any crime that would happen within our jurisdiction would be handled in City Hall. Usually there were someponies here to handle things, Rainbow Dash or Applejack, but it was completely empty save a few guards. We went to the far back, to the very last cell. Before we could actually reach it, Pinkie began to speak, "Don't worry! Pinkie's got this all sorted out, I can clear your name!" A flick of the tongue came from the cell and an irritated sigh. "Great, can't believe you of all ponies saved me…" I frowned when this griffon spoke, as I recognized her voice. Looking into the very last cell, I saw Gilda the Griffon sitting there with a sour expression. Gilda was a longtime friend of Rainbow Dash, but she had a very bad personality. She was arrogant, temperamental and just plain rude. We had a bad run-in with her last year, she and Pinkie didn't get along very well despite the latter's efforts to try to become the former's friend. "It's the least I can do," Pinkie giggled, "We're friends, right?" Friends? I certainly hadn't heard of this. My eyes widened as Gilda just sighed louder, obviously disagreeing with Pinkie's statement. "Sure, sure, friends. You already gave me that stupid welcoming song twenty times man, I don't need another reminder…" Gilda muttered, moving closer to the bars and held them with her claws. "So, come on, bust me out of here already. I'm going crazy!" Pinkie summoned the guard, handed her a few pieces of paper. The guard pony's eyes widened as he read this, sneering at the griffon who gladly returned a nasty glare, he bowed his head, dejected, before opening the cell and letting Gilda free. The griffon stepped out of her cage and stretched to her full height, successfully intimidating me, and, to my surprise, she picked up Pinkie and hugged her. After a few seconds, she dropped the pink mare and glared at both of us, "Don't tell anypony about that!" "Okie Dokie Loki!" "Sure, sure.." I grumbled. With that, our audience with the griffon was swiftly over and Pinkie and I headed back to the library. "Why did you help Gilda?" I asked. Pinkie looked at me strangely, "Why not? She needed help, and I gave it to her. Plus, the puzzle was really interesting." "I mean, she treated you horribly before," I countered, "Why didn't you just leave her there?" It sounded cruel, but it could easily be argued that Gilda would leave Pinkie in that cell if she were ever to be caught in that situation. Why should a nice pony like her go out of her way to help someone who doesn't appreciate it? "It wouldn't be nice," answered Pinkie, "Even though Gilda was mean, it doesn't mean I have to be. The best way to get Gilda to turn that frown upside down is to be nice." It was such a Pinkie Pie answer that I had no argument. It made sense, I'm not sure I would have approved of Pinkie cold-heartedly leaving Gilda there when she could help, but it didn't feel fair to Pinkie. Doing things to help someone who was mean… then again, she did hug her… My moral dilemma aside, we had somehow made our way by a diner. Where the most unusual pair awaited us. Cheerilee and Applejack standing outside, right beside Applejack's applecart, chatting it up. I never knew Applejack was friends with Cheerilee, so seeing the educated pony behaving very friendly toward the workpony was… well, strange. As strange as seeing Gilda hug Pinkie. "- Are ya' sure?" I heard the familiar Southern drawl from Applejack as she spoke to Cheerilee, who nodded solemnly. "I keep track of all of my students," promised Cheerilee, "And I can't say if anypony has been doing anything suspicious-" Her eyes focused on me and she smiled as we approached. "Ah, Twilight Sparkle," she cried familiarly, "How are you today?" "Fine, thank you Cheerilee," smiling back, I was comforted with how familiar she was acting toward me. We had never really been the closest of friends, really, but we spoke occasionally when she came by the library for a book in particle physics; why a schoolteacher to young fillies and colts would need with a physics book was beyond me. "What, ah, are you guys talking about?" I asked as Pinkie trotted off to order something, good thing too, I don't think she's eaten for three days. "Well, Applejack here thinks something is amiss with my students as of late," she explained eloquently, "And has asked me if I had noticed anything suspicious." "Suspicious?" I repeated. "Ah'ma tellin' ya, somethin' ain't quite right. You should know somethin' about it, right Twi?" Applejack turned toward me, her eyes fixed with concern. "Wait, wait, you haven't explained anything Applejack. Know something about what?" "Somepony has been stealin' cutie marks Twi!" Concerned, I placed my hoof over her mouth to prevent her from speaking; as the other ponies looked toward us with curiosity and concern. If this accusation were true, we couldn't afford to cause any panic amongst the populace. It would be insanely dangerous and I wouldn't want Applejack to be locked up for insanity. Glancing over at Pinkie, I noticed that she hadn't caught a word of this conversation and was entirely busy getting her order from the diner. I then looked at Cheerilee and noticed she wasn't very convinced at Applejack's claim as she rolled her eyes and gave me a concerned look, I deduced that she had been trying to reassure Applejack for some time now. "Uh, you guys wouldn't mind if you came with us now, would you?" I asked the earth mares to which I received grateful nods. Pinkie finally came over with a tray of food and nodding to her, I said, "Pinkie, we're going back to the library. Come on!" We were there after a quick walk, Spike had finally managed to clean everything up – to which I rewarded him with a ruby – and Pinkie laid her food on the table for us to share. Gratefully, I took a daffodil sandwich and chewed it as Applejack explained her story. "Y'all know my lil' sister Applebloom, right?" We nodded, "Well, the poor dear is a blank flank and has been obsessed in gettin' her cutie mark for some time now. But she had noticed somethin' different 'bout the other ponies. Her friend Twist had gotten her cutie mark a while ago, but yesterday, it was gone!" Applejack wasn't the most eloquent pony. The more excited or agitated she got, the more severe her Southern tongue became, making it a little difficult to understand what she was saying. "Why, if ya saw Applebloom, ya'd think she were mad. Hollerin' about how Twist suddenly lost her cutie mark, and Twist weren't too happy neither. They were both frantic, hollerin' like mental chickens!" "Missing cutie marks?" I mused, to my chagrin, Pinkie was too focused on her meal to offer her own opinion, so I needed to be her mouth and ears, "I don't think I know of a spell like that." "Whatever the case is, somethin' fishy is goin' on," insisted Applejack. "And you think her students are involved?" I asked. "No… well, not exactly, but all of these cases are showin' up in her school first. If this spreads, then it'll be chaos, chaos!" Suddenly, Applejack began to flail her forelegs excitingly, punctuating her point perfectly. "Cheerilee, what do you think is going on then?" Turning to the teacher, I noticed she was absolutely calm in this. She either doesn't think there is any foul-play, or she already knows the answer, either case, her calm demeanor was unsettling. "I'm not sure," she admitted, "I haven't heard any case of somepony losing their cutie mark. It might be magic or something supernatural behind it, you can't just lose your special talent. Maybe an investigation is needed." Jumping off my chair, I trotted over to the newly organized bookshelves and began to search for a book. It would probably be in Mystical Spells or Archaic Magic. To my surprise, however, both books were missing. "Huh, that's weird," muttering to myself as I went over to the check-out book, I opened it and searched for any recent check-outs. Indeed, I found Mystical Spells and Archaic Magic both checked out by somepony, but no name was provided. "Spike!" I called. A few moments later, my little purple dragon stumbled out of the next room wearing a cute apron, holding a duster, he looked aggravated but it was hard to take him seriously. "What?" he demanded walking toward me, "I'm a little busy here." "Do you know who checked out Mystical Spells and Archaic Magic?" I asked, ignoring his huffy attitude. Spike shook his head and shrugged, the universal symbol for "I don't know". "It's hard enough keeping track of all these books," he complained, "Now I have to keep track of who checks them out?" "It is your job," I reminded him. With another shrug, Spike made his exit. Walking back to the table, I sighed dejectedly, "I won't be able to find an answer anytime soon. Looks like we're stuck for the moment." "Not exactly," corrected Pinkie as she chewed her hay fries. "The detective speaks," I muttered. "There is still a lot of information we can collect, we should go and interview some of the fillies who were involved. Besides, I have a few theories on what might be going on," Pinkie explained as politely as she could with a mouthful of fries. "While I agree on the severity of this situation," Cherrilee started, "I think discretion is the best policy for this. If anypony began taking this seriously, it certainly would be chaos. Imagine, if ponies everywhere began to lose their hard earned cutie marks." She allowed that thought to hang for a bit and it resonated deeply for us. Cutie marks were nothing to sneeze at, it defined our special quality and helped shaped the type of pony we are today. While I think there was some flexibility in the whole "special talent" department (as apparent with Pinkie Pie, for instance) cutie marks are the defining features for most ponies. Pinkie nodded in agreement before downing another hoof-ful of fries. "Then, will ya'll investigate?" asked Applejack earnestly. "Yes and if all goes to plan, I'll have your solution by the end of the day!" promised Pinkie. I didn't want to argue for fear I would make the unflappable detective appear overconfident, but I was absolutely stumped on how she would accomplish that. As I mentioned, Pinkie was an absolute genius in her detective work, often times obfuscating others by feigning ignorance, but this case seemed to be out of her realm. Her usual work involved concrete evidence and cold logic, anything involving the supernatural or magic was usually my area of expertise, but, to date, I was lost on the prospect of something magical stealing cutie marks. But, if I knew Pinkie Pie, and I did, then I know she'll solve this case posthaste. It would be an entire two hours before we came back to the library, tired and bemoaning from the laborious task of interviewing several rowdy fillies and colts who were either victims or friends and family of victims of this cutie mark crime. And we had gained absolutely zero ground. The only tangible piece of evidence gained from this was a piece of blue ribbon that was found at the school. Nopony claimed the ribbon and according the Pinkie it was absolutely unremarkable with no real evidence to go on it. "I don't get it!" I groaned, reviewing my notes from the interviews. "Nopony got a good look at what stole their cutie marks and there was no evidence of foul-play on any of their bodies. They just sorta vanished without a trace!" "There is something we learned from this," Pinkie reminded me. She smirked that all too familiar smile that made me roll my eyes. "You're doing it again," I reminded her. "Doing what?" she asked, innocently perplexed. "Making that face. You're doing that face again Pinkie." "I can't see my own face silly," Pinkie laughed. But I levitated a small mirror in front of her and she frowned. "It's just my normal face." "No, you're doing the 'we-both-know-what-is-really-going-on-here' face," I insisted. "Well, we do don't we?" "No. You know what's going on, not me." Pinkie sighed. "Twi, you always see but don't observe the clues are all there, you just have to look for them." I rolled my eyes, exasperated at Pinkie's insufferable genius. She always knew more than anypony and was generally the smartest one in the room, and she was always confused and perplexed whenever nopony could keep up with her train of thought. "Well, it's obvious isn't it?" she would always say, "The clues are right there!" I always wondered what went on in that silly little head of hers. "Think about it. Look, these thefts aren't random. There is a pattern, an unseen line connecting all of them. Can you deduce what it is?" Pinkie asked. I shook my head. Pinkie sighed. "Do you have a map of Equestria?" Of course I did. I levitated a thin scroll from the Geography section and opened it up before us. It was completely updated and even had a little coordinate system in the upper right hand corner for precise reference. She brandished a quill and began marking spots on the map, I needed to restrain myself from fainting because this map was absolutely brand new and she was already defacing it! "Look." She pointed at the map now covered with several X marks. There was one mark on Manehattan, another in Canterlot, and the final one in Ponyville. Pinkie then asked for a detailed map of Ponyville, which I gave to her to which she immediately began marking it as well! There was a mark to the Northwest at the school. Another slightly further south at the local park. Then another near town square. One slightly southwest of Fluttershy's cottage (near a recently constructed building) and the last one was further south, on the path leading to Froggy Bottom Bog. I couldn't see the connection between these marks, they were all over Ponyville and completely random! But Pinkie nodded at me as if the answer were obvious. But when she saw that I was completely clueless, she grimaced. "This is a progression, a completely set trail that is following something. The first case was in Manehattan, then it moved to Canterlot, then here in Ponyville. Then in seemingly random spots around town, but it isn't random, it is being led." "What is being led, and why?" I demanded. "That, my dear, is the question, and such a deliciously excellent question at that. No worries, though, I can figure it out!" she promised before running out of the library in a sudden rush. I would have followed suit, but my hungry was a bit overwhelming. So, I took Spike out for a quick lunch. It was mid-afternoon by the time I returned to the library. Spike was satisfied at his jewel salad and passed out on his bed right there. I was too distracted to focus on my hunger and could barely eat. Instead, I had spent all lunch trying to make heads or tails on Pinkie's explanation. Fine, the thefts weren't in random order and were some sort of progression, but to what? And why? And, perhaps the most important, how? How was it possible that somepony could steal cutie marks? My magic wasn't strong enough to even make permanent cutie marks, I doubt there was an actual spell out there that could steal it. My thoughts were interrupted by yelling outside. Quickly, I ran out to investigate. Only a few feet away from the library was an angry mob, I feared that it was some form of riot of terrified ponies but then I heard them cursing and threatening somepony. Fear gripped my throat, could the culprit have been found already? Pushing my way into the mob, I noticed who they were ganging up on. Zecora, the zebra, stood in the middle of the crowd, trying to inch away from the angry ponies. A stray vase was flung from the crowd and aimed its way to Zecora, threatening to smash into her face. Levitating the threatening projectile, I gently set it aside and stood in front of Zecora, glaring at the mob. I was successful in repelling them for a few moments, no doubt they heard of my magical prowess. "Twilight, move out of the way so I can throw more vases at Zecora!" a random pony cried from the mob. "No! What are you doing? Didn't I tell you before, Zecora isn't bad, why are you treating her this way?" Zecora placed her hoof on my shoulder and frowned sadly at me. "Twilight Sparkle, it seems these ponies distrust me. They act with words so harsh and actions so cruel, please, quell this angry army!" Zecora answered with a weary voice; tired of their accusations. Managing my best death glare, I stood at the ready for any more stray antiquities. "You think she's the cutie mark thief?" "Well duh!" answered a mob member, "Who else is capable of this freaky magic?" "You said it yourself, her magic isn't anything normal!" another voice accused. "Fine, but that doesn't make her a bad zebra! Zecora is kind and wise, she doesn't deserve this type of treatment," I quickly countered. "Then who has been stealing cutie marks?" "I… don't know," I admitted. "But! Pinkie is on the case, she'll find the culprit." Dry laughter echoed from the crowd. Apparently, they trusted Pinkie's detective skills as much as they trusted Zecora. "The party pony?" one asked. "Isn't she just a baker?" another questioned. "And she is the pony who helped your sorry flanks when you asked them!" I snapped, "And without needing any sort of compensation, she just smiled happily at a job well done. So, you might want to think twice before you say anything to the pony who helped you for free!" Silence answered me as nopony dared to retort. They all knew how idiotic they were being with their false accusations, and they all knew better than to say something lest they would incur my wrath. "Now," my voice softened to try and calm them down further, "I understand you're scared and don't understand this threat. But, you can't go around attacking innocent ponies, or zebras, out of fear. We must approach this with logic and reason, not panic-induced passion and fear." The mob muttered sullenly to themselves but they dispersed quietly. Zecora turned to me and gave me an appreciative smile. "Thank you Ms. Sparkle. For your words, so kind, I am forever grateful." "It's no problem at all, Zecora," I responded with a smile of my own, "But I can't believe how quickly these ponies would turn in dark times." "Yes, everypony is capable of such dark deeds when frightened. I dread what they would be capable of if their fears were further heightened." I shuddered to think what they would have done had I not intervened. Zecora is generally a docile zebra, but I've seen how powerful her magic is and I wouldn't want her as an enemy. I promised Zecora that I would check up on Pinkie to see how the investigation was going but explained that she may need to lay low for a while; just in case there were someponies that would act on drastic measures. After that entire mess, I ran toward Sugarcube Corner. Opening the door, the first thing that hit me was the smell. It didn't smell like pastries and baked goods, but instead there was this heavy musky smell of something overly sweet; like the scent of heavily refined sugar. The musk was worrying and thick over my nose, so much that I needed to cover my face in order to not smell it. I ran to the back room and found the source of the smell. Pinkie was lounging in a chair with three potent cupcakes in front of her. She wasn't eating it, she was just sitting there and allowing the scent of those cupcakes to blanket her. Her mane was straight and fell over her shoulders, her eyes were dull and lifeless and she hardly moved when I approached her. In fact, I probably would've assumed she was dead or comatose had I not heard her breathing; heavy and deliberately slow. "Pinkie?" I took a breath and the thick scent of those cupcakes nearly chocked me, "What are you doing?" "Thinking," she answered in a low, bored voice, "This problem is so complex, it does well to keep my mind active." "Oh, uh… how are you getting on with it?" "Fine, just fine." She spoke so curtly and slowly, it was like Pinkie was in slow motion. "Um, what's the deal with these cupcakes-" "Don't!" she sat up straight and stopped my hoof immediately. "These are special cupcakes!" "I can tell," I muttered, nursing my now sore hoof, "But why aren't you eating them?" "All in due time," she answered, "These cupcakes are specially designed to give my brain the extra kick it needs. It has three times the sugar of a normal cupcake and some magic powder, for the extra boost. I don't need to eat them, I just sorta smell them. Of course, I'll eat them later once the scent wears off, but for now it's good enough." "Why do you need those cupcakes anyways?" "It's a three-cupcake problem," she dumbly answered, "Most problems are only worth two cupcakes. I never bake these cupcakes if it is a two or one cupcake problem, it isn't worth it." "Right…" I turned to face the window and opened it. The thick odor was too much for me. "Well, what have you got so far?" "So far?" she grinned and jumped out of her chair, as she did so, her mane and tail instantly poofed back to its curly, wild form. I know everypony that's ever met Pinkie has a few theories of her expressive mane, and, as her friend, I have a few of my own. Most think that her mane is the product of her current mood, the curly mane is indicative of her happy and cheerful mood, whereas the straight mane indicates her sad or depressed mood. I disagree with that theory. I think her mane expresses her level of physical activity. The more she romps about, all excited and hyper, the curlier her mane becomes, however, as she slows down, her mane reflects that by straightening. Then again, it could always be a case of Pinkie logic, who knows? "I think I may know the culprit!" she declared proudly. "Seriously?" I cried, obviously incredulous, "But all you've done is mull around with cupcakes!" "All great theories are written in chairs," she countered, "It's simple Twi! You just have to think about the circumstances and the problem is simple! All that remains is the how and who, but, that'll be explained later tonight." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Explain, please?" "Whoever the culprit is will show up tonight, and she, or he, will explain how they were able to commit all of this!" Pinkie explained almost arrogantly. "Why would they show up here?" I asked. Pinkie turned and grinned that stupidly brilliant smile of hers. "Because I asked them to come." It would be well into the night before anything of significant importance happened. Pinkie and I were crouched in a bush, positioned right outside of my library simply waiting. She had eventually explained that she sent a letter in the newspaper early today indicating that a lost ribbon had been found by the schoolyard and the owner should go by the library to pick it up. Naturally, I was skeptical of such a simple plan. But, Pinkie addressed them as concisely and succinct as she could. "Obviously, she'll be looking for the ribbon," she had said. "Obviously?" I had echoed. "Of course. It was made by her mother, or older sister. It's hoofstitched, from the fabric I'd say it was fairly expensive and made painstakingly with love. No way this is something purchased at the store. So, this is obviously something treasured by her. Look at how clean it is, no way a normal filly would be able to keep such fabric this immaculate. So, she tried her best to keep it cleaned and had it washed every night, you can see by how the color is fading." "How do you know it is a filly?" I had asked. "Who else would be so desperate for a cutie mark?" She hadn't explained further and buttoned up for another half hour before our visitor came. It was too dark to see her, but I could tell it was a filly. She had wrapped herself up in thick robes and sleuthed awkwardly as she made her way to the door. "Make sure to grab her," Pinkie whispered, "She'll try to run." The filly came closer to the library, and tentatively raised a hoof to knock… "Now!" We leapt from the bush, completely startling the filly who faced us, her unicorn horn buzzing shyly with weak magic, as if she were trying to defend herself from us. But, before she could make a run for it, I ensnared her with magic and she floated toward us. Using my magic, I pulled her hood back. A young unicorn looked at me with wide innocently frightened eyes. Her coat was perfectly white and her mane was elegantly coifed, it was the color of milkshake; bright pink with a contrasting purple. She struggled against my magical hold and complained, her voice was distinctive, in that it was incredibly high pitched. "Lemme go!" she complained. I began to feel a bit uncomfortable in detaining a filly, but hadn't relinquished my magical grip. "I think we should go in for a little talk. This is yours, isn't it?" Pinkie pulled out the ribbon and showed it to the filly who squealed happily. "Yes!" she cried, her voice slightly cracking, "Where did you find it?" "First, we should introduce ourselves. I'm Pinkie Pie, this is Twilight Sparkle. Who are you?" The filly looked at us with a slight glare. Obviously, she hadn't trusted us even if we brought back her beloved ribbon. "Sweetie Belle," she finally said, "Now, can you let me go?" I brought Sweetie into the library and as soon as I let her go, she hugged her ribbon like it was her long-lost friend. She was completely ignorant to the fact that we had essentially kidnapped her, until Pinkie cleared her throat. "Now then, Sweetie Belle, if that is your real name!" Pinkie suddenly cried. Sweetie raised an eyebrow, "Uh, yes, that is my name." "Okie Doki Loki, just making sure!" chirped the detective. "Maybe we should ask some important questions?" I suggested. "How did you do it?" Pinkie asked. Sweetie didn't respond and just gave Pinkie an innocent inquisitive look. "The spell to steal cutie marks, how did you do it?" "Oh, um, about that…" Sweetie Belle rubbed her ribbon nervously, like a security blanket, "It was an accident." "An accident?!" I cried, "That is high level magic, Sweetie Belle. There's no way somepony can conjure up a spell of that magnitude by accident!" "Well it was!" she insisted. "I just got a package the other day with the spell books and instructions on how to use it. I didn't think I could even do the spell and when I did it…" "Books?" I echoed, "Where are the books?" Sweetie Belle moved toward her saddlebags and produced two books that I recognized instantly. Mystical Spells and Archaic Magic. "And here's the note that came with it," she said, handing us a piece of paper with elegant writing on it. Pinkie snatched the paper immediately and examined it. After a moment, she frowned and handed it back to me, it ran: "For the filly who waits for her cutie mark. Enjoy your studies." "Unremarkable," Pinkie muttered, "Nothing on it that could lead us anywhere." "But which spell was used?" I asked, opening up both books and scanning its contents. Halfway into Archaic Magic I found the spell. My face blanched as I read it. "Oh, that's not… good." I muttered. "Is there a way to reverse it?" Pinkie asked. "Something like that…" "What do you mean?" The door shuddered and shook from a tremendous force. As if somepony threw themselves at it, but from the sound of the impact, I could tell that it wasn't a pony, it was something bigger and meaner. "Twilight, do you know how to reverse the spell?" Pinkie asked, her voice incredibly urgent. I flipped through the book frantically. "Um, hold on…" "We don't have much time," she reminded me. "Ah! Right here!-" The door exploded and the force threw us all of our hooves. When I recovered, I took notice of the intruder and let out a strangled gasp. It was huge and bipedal. Its body was round and meaty, as if it were engorged. It wasn't like a pony, it was sort of like a bunny, if the bunny got hit with an ugly stick a few times. It snarled and growled at us and that's when I noticed that it was completely transparent. You could see right through it and swirling inside of its body were dozens of cutie marks. "The Cutie Mark Monster," I muttered, "It was developed in the PreClassical Era-" "Why does it feel like all the worst things were made during that time?" Pinkie asked. "-By a trickster who stole a king's cutie mark in order to take over his kingdom. But it went on a rampage and went after the trickster. The kingdom literally disappeared off the map." "Oh…" squeaked Sweetie Belle. "D-don't you know how to reverse it?" "Yeah," I admitted, "But it would only work when the creature is weakened, at this state, it won't do anything." "Well then, time for plan B," grinned Pinkie as she reached behind a random bookshelf and pulled out… "A party cannon!" I cried, "How long have you had that there?" "Oh Twi," she giggled, "You should know I keep these cannons stashed all over Ponyville, in case I needed to do this!" She pulled on the cord and the cannon fired. But, instead of the traditional confetti, it fired a three-tiered cake! It was so powerful that the creature flew off into the middle of the street, covered in cake and stunned from the impact. Pinkie ran out and we followed. "We need to get him away from Ponyville!" "Come on, follow me!" Sweetie Belle ran off and we were at her heels. Unfortunately, the little filly was too small to outrun us, much less the Cutie Mark Monster, so, I had to levitate her on my back and have her lead us. Her directions lead us to the outskirts of Ponyville, nearby Fluttershy's cottage to the west where an unfinished building stood. "I've never noticed this place," I remarked as I looked over the empty building. From the outside, it looked a lot like a fun house. It was tall and pink and had a carousel on top of it. "Newly constructed," confirmed Pinkie, "Somepony is moving here?" "Look!" cried Sweetie Belle. The Cutie Mark Monster bounded for us, roaring angrily as his eyes focused on Pinkie, he didn't like the cake it seemed. "Got a plan?" I asked. "Three so far," answered Pinkie. The Monster effortlessly pushed a log out of his way, it flew right over our heads and deep into the forest behind us. "Okay, make that one," she corrected. "Work on it, I'll keep it distracted." I stepped forward and did the stupidest thing in my life. I charged the creature. With my horn glowing and my heart ready to jump out of my chest, I sprinted toward the big ugly thing, restraining myself from yelling my name as a battle cry. He reeled back and punched at me. Thankfully, he was so big that his movements may as well have telegraphed his attack. Dodging to the left, I countered with a cross to his left cheek. The Monster staggered back from my hit, and I followed along with a magical bolt to his chest. He roared in pain and swung at me. He was much faster than before and it was all I could do to roll out of the way. "Ha!" I laughed, "Missed!" He looked at me and grinned as he held out his hand and showed me… my cutie mark. Looking down at my flank, I noticed that it was indeed blank! No way, he stole it?! "Hey!" I heard Sweetie Belle squeak out, "Stop right there!" The Monster turned to her. Sweetie Belle stood beside Pinkie with a confident look on her face that was betrayed by her shaking legs. "Yeah, you heard me! Who do you think you are? Running around like that, stealing cutie marks?!" To my surprise, he didn't attack her instead he… cowered! He sat down and bowed his head, ashamed as the little filly reprimanded him! Sweetie Belle was on a roll as she walked up to him and continued yelling. It was so effective that he was beginning to shrink, soon, my counter-spell would dispel him indefinitely. But something went wrong. The Monster tensed as Sweetie Belle neared. Either her confident demeanor dropped or he got upset with her, but he wasn't about to listen to her criticism anymore as he suddenly stood up and raised his arm to swat her. I jumped in his way, I wasn't about to let Sweetie Belle get hurt; but, before he could hit me, heat over washed me. Like the sun was standing right next to me. The pain was overwhelming and I felt like every molecule in my body was on fire. I looked over to my left and I could swear that Princess Celestia was right there, but before I could confirm it, I passed out. When I came to, my throat was dryer than a Canterlotian's sense of humor. Pinkie hugged me and recounted what happened. "I… what?" I gasped. "You were glowing!" she repeated, "Bright purple and then that light overwhelm the Cutie Mark Monster and it made him disintegrate! I guess your counterspell worked because look!" She pointed at my flank and I looked to see that my cutie mark had returned! "I thought you said it wouldn't work because it was too big," asked Sweetie Belle. "I… guess I was just strong enough to make it work." Pinkie looked at me with a slight frown, as if she weren't convinced yet but didn't press the issue. "Whatever the case is, your spell worked and the cutie marks should return to their rightful spot." "Wait, how did you know that Sweetie Belle could command it?" "I told you, Twi. There was a progression, it wasn't random. The Monster was following Sweetie Belle, that's why it attacked in places like the school and park, that's where fillies would go after school. She probably moved around from Manehattan to Canterlot to here, right Sweetie?" She nodded but gave us those puppy-dog eyes. "Yeah. My older sister is moving here and decided to take me along. But, um, sorry about this whole mess… It was an accident, I swear." Pinkie placed a reassuring hoof on her shoulder and grinned. "It's okay. I believe you. And besides, you're new to Ponyville, right? I've got to throw you a welcome party now!" Sweetie Belle had, however, declined the party for now and left to meet up with her older sister. Pinkie had to help me to the library because I nearly threw up when I stood back up. "You're not satisfied are you?" I asked. "How did you know?" "You have that look on your face," I remarked, "The 'the-answer-can't-be-that-simple' face." Pinkie chuckled. "This is my normal face." "Exactly." "Who gave her those books?" she asked, "There's no way a filly like her would be interested in those dangerous spells. It's like somepony wanted her to cause all of this trouble." I shrugged, honestly unsure of the answer. "You think this pony is going out of his way to make life difficult for you?" "Difficult?" She shook her head, "No, interesting. Whoever is doing this is certainly desperate for my attention." "You two would be perfect for each other." "But, no matter. It might be a coincidence." I had to refrain from grimacing at her. Pinkie Pie, the Great Detective, never believed in coincidence. "What are you going to tell everypony? About the monster, I mean, you aren't going to blame it on Sweetie." "Nah. She didn't know any better. But, I'll think of something, we should really head to the store later on, though." "Why?" "I've got a party to throw for Sweetie Belle and her sister, you know!"