//------------------------------// // Five Pints Of Lager Didn't Help Me // Story: Help Me! My Parents Are Bronies! // by Enfield //------------------------------// The calmness of the late and quiet night in the O'Riley household seem relaxing. For Barry O'Riley, it was just another night where he and his wife, Margret, could relax in front of the fire with the TV on and a small bottle of wine to share. Leaning back in his button back armchair Barry gave a sigh of pleasure and brought the glass of wine to his lips, he was about to take a sip when the climatic part of the show was starting. The two lovers had been re-united and were resting heads against one another, the love seemed to be real as all of the troubles were washed away. Barry and Margret gave a low "aww" as the two lovers purged the evil and set everything right. Nothing was spoiling this, nothing except... "Oi! Turn that bloody TV down!" A yell came from up the stairs. Barry sighed and turned around and watched as his son descended the stairs. "Evenin' Douglas," Barry said as he turned back to the TV, "Thought you were sleeping that hangover off." "Yeah, I feckin' was until you turned that bloody TV up," Douglas said as he rubbed the side of his face, he saw what his parents were watching and he shook his head in disbelief. His mother saw him first and wondered what was up. "What?" "You two are watching 'My Little Pony' again, this is the reason I have a hangover. Bloody talking ponies." "You already told us what the problem was, your school friends were laughing at you and you wanted to get away from it." "I wouldn't need to go to the bloody pub every day if you two would've kept this a secret," Douglas said, he then gave a sigh and walked over to his parents, "Mum, dad, I do love you but can you please put a stop to this nonsense? I'm getting sick of my pals making fun of me." Barry stood up, put his arm around his son and sat him down on the couch. "Okay, we'll promise that we shall no longer mention this show in public. I don't want you to be an outcast because of us, I'll make sure soon that we tell everyone that your mother and I have become bored of the show and we'll see if that fixes everything. If not, well, you'll think of something, you're smart." Douglas smiled and hugged his dad. "Thanks dad. I know that you didn't mean to bugger up my life." "Hey, how's about we all watch one episode of My Little Pony, as a family." "Um no, I'm going to try and sleep off this headache," Douglas said as he stood up. "Come on, Douglas," Margret said, "Just one and I promise that you can go back to sleep." "You two Pinkie Promise?" Douglas asked jokingly. "Cross our hearts, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in our eyes," his parents chorused. "I cannot believe they just said that," Douglas thought as he sat down next to his mother. He pulled his feet underneath him and leaned back, he wanted to get back to sleep but then again, he did want to spend more time with his parents and this was one of the few times he could. Douglas was glad that his parent's understanding was unlimited and he knew that they would give up watching My Little Pony but until that day came all he could do was try and get through the troubles that it brought. Douglas leaned back and watched the episode "Putting Your Hoof Down". As Iron Will was presenting his program Douglas was strongly reminded of his uncle Geoff. Barry's brother Geoff was a little bit patriotic, he has always wanted to live in a free Ireland and after a few pints and a talk with a few of his pub friends he had become a member of the IRA. Barry didn't like what Geoff had gotten himself into but he couldn't blame him, Geoff lived in the occupied part of Ireland and was eager to kick the British out. A few times Geoff had taken care of Douglas and he has told him of what life was like living in an occupied city, and just to show what life was like for him, Geoff had Douglas stay over at his house for three days. For those three days all Douglas would hear were sirens and the sounds of riots and he hated it. He could never sleep because he was scared stiff that soldiers would break into his uncle's house and haul him away, Douglas could still remember his uncle's words after he told him about his fear. "It won't stop until they leave my boy, and they ain't gonna leave unless we make 'em leave." "Isn't it a little extravagant that you're with these guys?" Douglas asked his uncle. "No, I've always dream of a unified Ireland and I want to see it come true." "But I don't want you to end up dead uncle Geoff." "It's okay, the lads have me as a weapons technician." "What's that?" Douglas asked with great curiosity. "I just make stuff that blows up or fix any of the guns that come in for repairs," Geoff said proudly. Pretty soon after that Douglas was taught how to make small scale explosives, useful for scaring away squirrels and cats that decided to try and sing at night. As a present for his birthday, Geoff got Douglas an air rifle made to look like an AR-15 rifle, the thing was that the air rifle was incredibly powerful and greatly modified. It had magazines, a compressed air canister and the ability to go fully automatic, something that Douglas really liked. But even then Douglas knew that his uncle wanted him to join the IRA and being level headed and smart, Douglas refused but generously accepted the gifts that Geoff gave him. Geoff understood and let Douglas live his life saying that if he did want to help then he was allowed to. "Wasn't that a funny little episode?" Barry asked bringing back Douglas back to reality. "Huh, oh yeah, it was okay," Douglas replied. He got up and stretched the stiffness from his legs and left his parents alone as he went upstairs to his bedroom. He rubbed his temples and went over to open his window, needing fresh air. He leaned against the window sill and looked out to the window, happy that he had been growing up in such a nice and peaceful part of Ireland but irritated because the stillness of the night was broken by the sound of six cats wailing on a fence. "Dad! Those bloody cats are back again!" "Shoot at them," Barry's voice drifted from downstairs. Douglas fetched his air rifle and loaded a few pellets into the magazine, he planned to shoot at the fence and scare the cats but as he was aiming the rifle his hands started to shake and the barrel started sway. "Dad can you do this? I can't keep the gun steady." The sound of footsteps and and opening door announced that Barry has come to his son's aide. He took the rifle and aimed it at the fence. Two shots and all the cats screeched in surprise and ran away, as Barry handed the rifle back to Douglas a neighbor leaned out of his window and gave a wave of thanks to Douglas and Barry. Barry left Douglas as he tucked his air rifle away under his bed and then pulled the covers back. As he lay down and tried to sleep he heard light knocking on the door. "Remember to get your gear ready tomorrow Douglas," his mother said, "We've got that fancy dress party to go to." "Shite," Douglas said under his breath.