//------------------------------//
// The Old Castle 
// Story: Survivor Shy 
// by Mattatatta 
//------------------------------//


 
Night had fallen in the Everfree Forest, and all around I could feel the dozens of pairs of eyes watching me from behind bushes and shrubs. I quickened up my pace and slinked between twisted trees and shadows. I didn’t remember the path being this thickly overgrown, but I didn’t dare turn back. Safety was wherever my lantern shone, and it was always just a few steps out of reach. A part of me wondered if I could keep doing this all night if I couldn’t find the castle ruin, another already knew the answer – and that there was something following not far behind. I bit down on the handle of my lantern and stared at the path ahead.
 
At last, the bushes parted and opened up to a familiar gorge with a wrecked rope bridge draped down one side of the cliff. I peered over the edge and looked into the bottomless sea of fog. On the other side of the sheer drop I could see the eerie remains of the Old Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. My heartbeat wavered at the sight of the place. The ancient structure sighed with a breeze of chilly wind and cast an empty gaze on its most recent visitor – too long left abandoned to really care whether I stayed or had second thoughts. My eyes drifted down to my hooves, catching them digging up pebbles and knocking them down the chasm.
 
I tightened my grip on my lantern, checked the strap holding my saddlebags on, and carefully unfurled my wings. It’s just a gap in the earth, I assured myself, nothing scary at all. My hooves shuffled backwards a few paces and broke my knees from their stiff mold. I can do this. A ghostly rendition of Pinkie's sing-song advice echoed in my mind, "You can make it if you try with a hop, skip, and a jump!"
 
My focus shattered against my skull, and I slumped onto my haunches. My vision started to warp around the edges and I blinked to push the tears back. A distant shout from Rainbow Dash echoed between my ears, "Suck it up, Fluttershy!"
 
That was the last straw.
 
I dropped my lantern onto the grass in front of me, and buried my face in my hooves. I couldn't do this, not without my friends. I needed them with me. I needed to know it would be okay. I had come hundreds of miles to finally reach them, only to discover that Ponyville was empty, my cottage lifeless and cold, and not another pony to be seen since I left Appaloosa. I was trying – I really was – to find it in me to keep it together, but now I was in the middle of the Everfree Forest and looking for a place to hide instead of searching for my friends. I couldn’t do this alone. What chance did I have? It was stupid of me to have gone this far into the Everfree Forest. I should have tried going to a different town or Zecora's hut, but I was running away instead of thinking. That was all I ever did – and that was all I ever would do.
 
Growls came from behind and sent alarm bells ringing in my ears. In a split second I was on my hooves, whirling around to face the source of the sound. Another growl, this time closer, lurched out of the shadows, followed by the heavy beats of something running towards me. Pairs of green eyes lit up in the darkness, and I didn't waste another second to grab my lantern and leap into the air, pumping my wings as hard as I could.
 
Two Timberwolves came charging out of the bushes, snarling and leaping after me but just barely falling short of catching me in their jaws. I flew over to the other side of the gorge and hit the ground running, galloping up to the castle. The wolves howled loudly, spurring me to run even faster. I was sure that they couldn't jump across, but I wasn't going to wait and find out for sure.
 
I bounded up the mossy steps, reaching two large, ancient doors. With a panicked shove, one of the doors stubbornly moved ajar, allowing just enough space for me to squeeze through. Seconds later, the door groaned again as I pushed it shut and dropped a rotten bar to lock the entrance. I took a step back, glancing at the rusty hinges and cracks letting moonlight through and hoping that the doors would stay closed after centuries of being left alone. Maybe in better times they could keep a Hydra outside, but tonight I only hoped they could keep the wolves out. I spun around on the spot, darting my gaze up and down and side to side for other weak spots. There were windows with missing glass, and the ceiling had collapsed long ago, but the ledges were too high for the Timberwolves to reach and I had never seen a wolf that could fly. I allowed myself to breathe; I was safe for the time being. My legs buckled and shakily dropped me onto the floor, and there I put my lantern down and closed my eyes.
 
Deep breaths, Fluttershy, just take nice, deep breaths. You’re safe now, it’ll be okay.
 
My head nodded forwards and I stirred out of sleep’s grasp. With a yawn I stood back up onto my hooves and looked up at the stars and clouds. An open ceiling wasn’t exactly shelter, and even though the dark hallways of the castle made my legs quiver, another night being rained on wasn’t something I wanted to go through again. I picked my lantern up, picked the least menacing corridor, and quietly wandered through the castle.
 
I hadn’t been here in a long time. Not since my friends and I defeated Nightmare Moon. How long had it been since then? Two years? Being within the walls again made it feel like it had only happened a few days ago. But with a thousand years resting on the remains of the architecture, two dozen months probably meant little to this place. I shone my lantern down long corridors I never remembered going down, and hesitantly chose what I hoped was the route I took when the girls and I were trying to reach Twilight. I chose to go up whenever I could, because even if I didn’t remember where I had gone the last time I was here, being closer to moonlight would be much better if my lantern went out. Besides, the room I was searching for was probably the highest room left standing: the Throne Room.
 
I walked up on the final staircase and walked into a long, moonlit hall. At the far end of the space was a raised pedestal – only without a throne or terrifying pony stood there. I swallowed a lump in my throat and walked down the center of the room, eyeing the windows for anything even slightly threatening, and sat on my haunches near the first step when nothing leapt out at me. I stared at the vast space once more, this time remembering the last time I had been here.
 
It must have been terrifying to have been alone with Nightmare Moon. She was big, powerful, and could scare almost everypony. Twilight didn't run away despite the odds. She did all she could to protect the Elements of Harmony while we were rushing to help her. It was the only chance we had to defeat Nightmare Moon after all, and we were lucky to have found Twilight when we did, otherwise it could have been a losing battle. It could have been for nothing.
 
I blinked as a thought crossed my mind. I was fighting a losing battle alone, too. And no more than ten minutes ago did I consider giving up. I couldn't do that to Twilight, I couldn't just give up because things were looking bleak. I owed that to Twilight, to all of my friends. I had to hang in there. It would be okay, then. Everything would be okay.
 
My head tipped forward but not in agreement. On cue a yawn escaped my lungs and took the last ounces of stress keeping me awake. Not wanting to sleep in the middle of the hall, I stood up on my hooves and picked a side of the room to settle down in. My saddlebags slumped onto the floor with my canteen quickly joining them, and I carefully lay down on the old, stone floor. Shivers rippled through me, but there was nothing I could do about it. A roof over my head and a safe place to sleep was all I had.
 
My weight shifted and pressed my bandaged wound. My voice squeaked and I tipped to the other side and brought my left foreleg in front of the lantern’s glow. I had forgotten to check on the bandage all day, but it wasn’t stained or falling off, so I decided to leave it until morning when I wasn’t tired.
 
I’ll have to be careful, I thought. There’s only one bandage roll, and I don’t know how long it’ll be until I can get some more. Other… Other ponies are going to need all the help they can get.
 
I sniffed and rubbed my eyes. How many homes had been abandoned? How many towns had been evacuated? What if… what if the Diamond Dogs had attacked? Could they have hurt anypony – could they have hurt ponies I know? At least Angel wasn’t there when that hound broke into the cottage, he would have been terrified – all of the critters would have.
 
These thoughts were not helping me settle down. I rattled the questions out of my mind and extinguished my lantern, and gently put my head down onto my front legs to sleep. “Everything will be okay, my friends. I promise.”
 

 
I was being chased in a land of shadows and purple night-light. Everywhere I ran my pursuer was close behind, waiting for me to make a mistake. Desperately I swung around corners, leaping and weaving blindly in the dim light and never seeming to put any extra distance between me and the hunter. I looked up to the ‘sky’, only to see it shrouded in purple haze and further blocked off by solid tree branches in the smothering mist. I could hear it gaining on me, its own steps growing louder and louder until I could swear I could hear it cackling in triumph to itself. I galloped faster than I ever thought my legs could manage, and darted down paths I barely registered.
 
I made a mistake.
 
A wall rushed up to me and cut me off. Frantically I looked around for a way around or over, but I was in a cul-de-sac: a dead end. Again I glanced up at the 'sky', but there was no escape – dozens of jagged limbs had laced among themselves, keeping me on the ground. The only way out was back the way I came, right into the path of the monster. On cue, its deranged laughter crept up my spine and froze me where I stood. It had won, and now it was savoring the moment.
 
Slowly, I turned around, and stared into a mass of swirling smoke and shadows, and watched in terror as the sickly black and purple mist gave way to the silhouette of a tall mare. It was chortling at me, enjoying the sight of me cowering against the wall behind me. The laughter took on a warped tone that sounded like a mare and stallion laughing at once, and the silhouette turned into an alicorn – but looked nothing like any alicorn I knew. Her empty eye sockets narrowed into a look of satisfaction, staring straight into my bones as she approached – smoke and swirling appendages emanating from her ethereal body.
 
In an otherworldly voice, she spoke to me. "You may have got away the first time, little Fluttershy. But I will have you yet!"
 
A tendril slowly reached forward, carrying a large, purple orb. I stared at it, and watched the stone sphere crystallise into a clear ball. Inside I could see the tiny bodies of ponies hopelessly floating around. As the shadow pony inched the orb closer to me, I could feel the orb trying to pull me in, but it didn’t have the strength to do so. The pony silhouette waved a second tendril over the orb, and the scene inside changed to show an apparition of a pegasus who had my Cutie Mark.
 
"One day, Fluttershy, I will get you," She hissed. "One way or another you will give in to hopelessness, and I will trap you forever."
 
The shadowy Alicorn motioned the orb away from me, and leant in towards me. I turned my head away and clamped my eyes shut. I didn’t want to look into the void space where her eyes should have been. I didn’t want feel that emptiness slowly consume me.
 
“Until that day comes,” she purred. “Feel free to run away - I very much enjoy this chase. But no matter how far you go, I'll always be right here." She tapped me on the side of my head, causing me to flinch, and emphasized every syllable with a firm prod against my skull: "Inside your head."
 
My eyelids shot open. I bolted upright and froze solid for a few moments, trying to push the dream out of my head. The image of the alicorn stayed in my vision much longer than it should have. Gradually, the scenes smudged and blurred before vanishing entirely, and my breaths fell into a calmer rhythm. I blinked out of my blank stare, and rose up onto my hooves, stretching my legs and taking deep, generous breaths. My wings were tense, so I forced them open and waved them around to loosen them up. My voice quivered and crackled to life and I began to hum a simple, happy melody to keep a steady pace whilst I walked around the hall.
 
My post-nightmare ritual was second nature to me, and had been since my parents taught me it when I was a tiny filly. Back in those days, I was really afraid of nightmares, and sometimes I would try to stay awake for as long as possible so I wouldn’t have one. Eventually, my mother convinced me that nightmares couldn’t hurt me, and that getting up and taking a walk around my room or having a glass of water would help me get over it quickly. Dad once moved his chair into my room for a couple of weeks, and would read me a story and sleep in his chair, just in case I woke up in the middle of the night. I stopped being afraid of going to sleep after that, and some nightmares eventually ceased to frighten me anymore. I guess that was the first fear I ever got over.
 
After a few minutes I stopped by my saddlebags to take a long drink from my canteen, and then hung the canteen strap from my neck. My head lifted up and glanced out the window in front of me and into the dark and lively forest. It was still night, but I was sure it was not long until sunrise. The moon was setting, but daylight didn’t look like I was coming for another few hours. In fact, nothing seemed right in the sky. Even the stars seemed to be changing formation each time I looked up at them. Could the Princesses be doing this? Why would they need to delay sunrise? Could Princess Luna control the stars like that?
 
It must be a signal, or a message, but I don’t know what it means. I traced the constellations, looking for words if I connected lines between the stars, but no secret message appeared for me. But even if there was, I didn’t need a message to know where I had to go next.
 
A chilled breeze came through the room, and I sat beside my saddlebags and considered trying to go back to sleep. I stared out the window again, slightly expecting to see that the stars had rearranged themselves again. They hadn’t, but that didn’t stop me from gazing upon the vast space sprinkled with twinkling, peaceful glimmers.
 
I had to get to Canterlot, and I had to prepare myself for the trip. I knew that the spare canteen in my saddlebags was empty, and the water sloshing around in the one hanging off me warned that I was running out of water in that one, too.
 
Without missing a beat, my stomach grumbled. It had been a couple of nights since I really ate, and as I took an apple out of my saddlebags, I made a note of what I had managed to take from my home. My hasty gathering of supplies had given me enough food for a few days, some painkillers and cold medicine, and a roll of bandage that I hadn't used yet.
 
Maybe I should find Zecora's hut, she would be willing to help me. I bit into my apple and chewed thoughtfully, thinking about where the zebra’s home would be from here. But I’ve spent far too long getting this far. I have to reach Canterlot as soon as possible. I don’t have any time to spend looking for Zecora. My friends need me – everypony does.
 
My stomach growled for attention, and I took another bite out of my apple. Flying straight up the mountain to Canterlot is out of the question. While the weather in Canterlot is usually pleasant, with only strong gusts around the city being a minor concern for airship pilots and Pegasi alike, it tended to be very windy further beneath the city. With the seasons becoming as unpredictable now, the wind could be much, much stronger.
 
My hooves tapped on the floor idly, and I took another bite from my apple. That leaves two other options; the road that carriages and wagons use to reach Canterlot, or the train line from Ponyville to the city. On the one hoof, the rail road would be quicker – even when walking – but it also takes a route up the side of the mountain that would be worst hit by strong winds. On the other hoof, the road had to take the sheltered path, making it the safest route available – but was also the longest one to take.
 
It wasn't a hard decision to make; safety first – I was taking the road.
 
My mind made up, I finished off the last few bites of my apple, and tossed the core out the window. I put my saddlebags on, and lit my lantern to guide me back to the front door of the Castle. I wasn't going to sleep, and I wasn't going to wait for dawn, either. A head start would give me time to find water, and I would reach the foot of the mountain sooner, too.
 
The barely-intact bar locking the doors lifted up with ease, and I carefully opened one of the giant doors and peered outside. After narrowly avoiding the Timberwolves earlier, I was wary of them still being nearby, lying in wait. I shone my lantern outside, and to my relief, no pairs of eyes reflected the light back to me. I blew the lantern out and sat it just inside from the doors. If I had to come back, it would help to have the lantern here. It would only weigh me down on the way, anyway.
 
I slipped outside between the two ancient doors, closing them behind me with a rumbling clunk. Wasting no time, I unfurled my wings and fluttered into the air until I was safely above the trees. Now that I knew I wasn't being followed by the Diamond Dogs, and wasn't trapped under the thick brush of the forest, I felt it was safe to fly out of Everfree. I planned to head for Canterlot and make a stop for water near a river along the way.
 
Regardless of the nightmare I had, I wasn't going to let myself fall into hopelessness. I didn’t want to let my friends down; I owed it to them to be brave and to not give up. The nightmares could be as terrible as my mind could conjure up for all I cared, because, like I had learnt from my parents when I was a filly: nightmares couldn't hurt me.
 
As I flew over Everfree Forest, the first hints of dawn began to peek over the horizon. There were no birds singing yet, it was still too early. Instead, the gentle whoosh of air passing by and the soft beats of my wings were all I could hear above my heart. This level of silence reminded me of the times I would get up this early to hear the morning song – long before the noise of busy ponies in town could fill the day. Feeling it now brought a little assurance that maybe things could go back to normal soon.
 
The sooner I got to Canterlot, the sooner we could find a way to fix this. There just had to be a way to fix this.