A/N: Bet you never expected Rainbow herself to be the writer of Cupcakes, did you? Yes, I realize she’s an extremely cliché fangirl in this one, but this is much better than my EmoDash idea.
Also, this one is meant to make little sense in covering up massive plotholes. The bad writing is intentional
That was it. The final straw! If winning the best young flyers competition AND saving their lives didn’t make Rainbow dash a member of the Wonderbolts, then she would try a new approach.
A pity story.
The cyan pegasus pony immediately began brainstorming ideas for how to make her life seem utterly ruined. After a sleepless night of ghastly ideas, each more gory than the last, she finally settled on something that would get her on the Wonderbolts for sure.
The Air was warm, the sun was shining, and everyone in Ponyville was having a glorious day…
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… The cupcakes could wait; Pinkie had a friend to make.
Now, all that was left was to send the story to Equestria’s most trusted newspaper, the Equestria Daily. Soon, the story would be breaking news across Equestria, and the Wonderbolts would ask her to join them.
One month later, Rainbow Dash was getting irritated. She had still not seen her story in the news headlines, and was about to unsubscribe from the newspaper. She picked up the copy that had been delivered today, and as she glanced at the front cover, a devilish ear to ear grin struck her face. The main article had a picture of Pinkie Pie being apprehended for “her” actions, with a massive story on how she would torture ponies and finally kill them, turning them into pastries. The only reason she was caught was because a heroic pony managed to sneak into her hidden lair and steal a journal that she kept for documenting the atrocities she committed.
Surely by now the Wonderbolts had heard of her terrible story, and were devastated by their saviors death. If they saw her again they would certainly allow her onto the team. Rainbow bought a ticket to the next Wonderbolts derby. Once she was in the audience she snuck into the Wonderbolts locker room, where Spitfire was just putting on her outfit’s goggles “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!” Rainbow squealed, attracting the attention of the orange pegasus pony. Spitfire looked at Rainbow with a puzzled look for a minute, then finally said, Hey, you look like that pony from the news that got tortured and killed. I swear there was something familiar about that young mare.”
“Actually, it’s funny you bring that up, because I am that pony that was tortured and killed!” Rainbow exclaimed, “And I was wondering if you would let me join the Wonderbolts. You see, I had always wanted to join you guys when I was alive, but now that I’m dead, that can’t happen. So I was wondering if you could honor my wishes by making me one in honor of my bravery and sacrifice!”
“Oh, well, we’d love to let you join us, but according to the story, your wings were cut off, so you can’t fly,” Spitfire sorrowfully answered.
“But my wings are right here! And I can use them! See?” Rainbow then began flying all over the locker room.
“It’s probably just a setup, and you are just wearing a harness with a wire on it. But I’ll give you credit for the great special effects. Even if that was real, our manager doesn’t let zombies become Wonderbolts. I’m sorry,” Spitfire said. Rainbow finally gave up and returned to her home to come up with other plans to join the famous flyers.
30 years later
The Air was warm, the sun was shining, and everyone in Ponyville was having a glorious day. The town square was bustling with busy ponies filling the streets. All of them seemed to have somewhere specific to be; especially a certain pink, poufy haired pony. Pinkie Pie walked out of the Ponyville Maximum Security Detention Center with an evil look on her face. “She thinks she can just get rid of me like that? I will show her!” She began laughing maniacally. Pinkie went to Sugarcube Corner, opened a trapdoor, and stepped down into a basement decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Pinkie had a number to draw.
The end?
A/N: Yes, Yes, I know, this chapter is horrible. But by the time I realized how bad it was, I was almost done, so I decided to finish it anyway. The next one will be better, but I’m running out of the ideas I started with (which wasn’t very many) so if you have any you would like to see in this story, send me a PM about it, and chances are it will be used.