//------------------------------// // Timey Wimey Riftey Raftey // Story: Ponyville in a "Jam" // by Polygrammar //------------------------------// The three fillies threw the Doctor down on the same chair as before, pointed the same lamp at him as before, and locked the door to the same tree house as before. What was different, however, was the way they had decided to tie him up. "Rope? Well, nice to see you girls are at least expanding your horizons in some way." He said dryly. "I mean really, kidnapping me again? And then bringing me back to the same place? You're beginning to become a bit redundant!" Scootaloo placed the blindfold from before over his mouth. "There, is that better?" The Doctor simply glared at her. She stuck her tongue out at him and the three once again huddled in the corner, conversing quietly. This time he could overhear their conversation and what he heard was them going over a contingency plan to prevent his escape this time. He struggled against his bonds, trying in vain to wiggle out of them. He noticed his sonic screwdriver was nowhere to be seen this time. 'Doesn't matter anyway' he thought, 'these ropes are made from wood fibers. My screwdriver would have no effect on them.' The three fillies finished going over their plan, turning to face him as they, once again, began their relentless interrogation of him. "This time, Doctor, we have all the exits covered. So don't try to be tricky this time, 'cause we're on to you!" Scootaloo looked him dead in the eye as she said this. Sweetie Belle stepped up. "Now, maybe you'll stay long enough to answer a few questions this time." The Doctor gave her a dull look in response. "Jest where are ya hidin' all that jelly, Doctor? An' how are ya stealin' it?" Apple Bloom paused, waiting for a reply. The Doctor rolled his eyes, clearing his throat and trying to indicate the blind fold on his mouth as best he could. Scootaloo reached up and pulled it down for him. "Thank you. Now, as I have already told you, I am not the jelly thief! How many times must I say it before you get it through your head? I am on your side! In fact I was extremely close to solving the mystery before you three snatched me away to this unsanctioned interrogation!" He struggled against the ropes again, this time more to indicate them then to actually try to break free. "Now let me go so I can get back to Ditzy Doo and-" "You mean your girlfriend?" Scootaloo asked with a malicious smile on her face. "She is not my-oh, never mind…" He let his head drop. The three giggled. "Ya know how ta make this all go away, Mr. Doctor." Apple Bloom said sweetly. "Admit ta bein' the thief, an' we'll let ya go." That made the Doctor's ears perk up. "You'll…let me go? Just like that?" He asked, unbelieving. "Yep. As soon as we get a proper confession outta you, we'll drop you off to-" "I did it! Yep, it was me! All me! I stole the jelly!" The three jumped back, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle hiding behind Scootaloo for protection. When they noticed what he said, they're looks of fear transformed into excitement. Scootaloo reacted first. "Aha! I knew it! You're the jelly thief!" "Yep, that's me. I'm just crazy for jelly. I love the stuff, just hate buying it." While Scootaloo began doing a happy dance, the other two caught up to the unfolding events and hoof bumped, cheering that they had finally gotten their confession. "Ya know what this means, girls! We completed our very first investigation! Maybe investigating really is our special talent!" After she said this, they all immediately craned their necks to look at their flanks. Seeing them still blank made them all sigh in despair. "What did we do wrong? We tailed him, we did research on him, we interrogated him and we got a confession! How come we don't have our cutie marks?" Sweetie Belle asked sadly. "Maybe it's because this isn't your special talent." The Doctor received three glares in response. "It's just a suggestion." "I know what we're missing!" Scootaloo shouted. "We still have to bring this criminal to the proper authorities so he can be brought to justice!" "Wait, what!?" "Hey, yeah!" "That's a great idea, Scoot!" That most certainly was not a great idea. Dealing with these kids was one thing, but if the actual police or whatever passed for law enforcement in this crazy world full of ponies got involved, it might make his true identity as a time traveling pony that much harder to protect. Not that he was making much of an effort to hide it now that he thought of it. Perhaps leaving the TARDIS in that pony's living room wasn't such a good idea. In fact for the life of him he couldn't remember why he had left it there in the first place- "I know how to find the thief!" This time his outburst was enough to scare the three fillies so much that they almost ran out the door. They stopped before they opened it, turning back around, a confused look on their faces. "What do you mean, 'you know how to find the thief'? You just confessed to being the thief!" "Oh, I was just lying about that. I thought you would let me go if I said I was. But now I just realized how to find the real thief!" "Hey, you can't just change the story like that! You already confessed, you can't take it back!" "I'm not taking it back, I just told you, I lied-" He stopped when he spotted an eye staring at him through a crack in the curtains over the windows. He stared back until he heard someone clear their throat. He snapped back to attention and realized the three fillies were now giving him odd looks. "…Uh…a-as I was saying…" He looked back at the window, but the eye was gone. 'There was something familiar about that particular ocular orb' he thought. "…What are you staring at?" Scootaloo walked over to the window and pulled the curtain aside, allowing bright sunlight to flood in. The view the Doctor got was of a wide field edged with thick brush and large trees, the beginning of the Everfree forest. The owner of the eye was nowhere to be seen. "I-I was just staring at the…the…" He struggle to think up an excuse. "…the forest! Yeah, the forest. I-I was just hoping…for one last chance to look at it before you…you know, take me to the Big house." Sweetie Belle cocked her head to the side. "Who's house?" "The Big house. You know, big walls, iron bars, bunk beds, toilets in the same room you sleep?" She stared at him blankly. The Doctor sighed. "Jail." He said bluntly. "Ooooooooh…" The other two began to snicker and started poking jabs at Sweetie Belle for being so air headed. While they were distracted, the Doctor heard a "Psst!" above him. He turned to look and saw the eye again, looking at him through a trap door in the ceiling. It opened a bit more to reveal a blonde headed mare with wall eyes. "That's why the eye looked so famil-" "Sssh!" Ditzy hissed before pulling her head back through the trapdoor. The fillies all whipped their heads over to look at him simultaneously, glaring at him suspiciously while circling him slowly. "Who were you talking to just now?" Scootaloo asked. "Yeah, do you have a complice here er somethin'?" Apple Bloom began looking around the room. "N-n-no! No, of course not! Hehe…and it's accomplice." Suddenly Apple Bloom made a move to check the trap door, making the Doctor's eyes widen. He looked forward at the door and shouted "They're on to us! Run!" while rocking back and forth, so much so that it caused his chair to fall over and make a loud bang. The fillies mistook the bang for the door slamming shut, the three of them running to it and throwing it open, fighting to be the first one out. As the door slowly closed behind them, Ditzy floated down from trap door in the ceiling and began to untie him. "Oh, Ditzy! Am I ever glad to see your wall eyed stare through a curtained window!" "Doctor, why did the Cutie Mark Crusaders kidnap you and tie you up?" She asked after she had him untied and helped him to his feet. "Apparently they think I'm the jelly thief, but that's not important right now. Ditzy, I know where we can find a suitable way to open a portal that leads to the real thief!" Ditzy gasped excitedly. "Really? That's great! Where do we go?" "Well, first things first. We need to catch up to those 'Crusaders' and get my sonic screwdriver back. You know how I despise others touching it without my permission." "Oh…um…Doctor, I have it." She held the small device out to him. "You dropped it when you started running away from them in town. You should really keep it somewhere safer so it won't fall out." The Doctor took it and tucked it away back under his tie. "Ditzy, until the day ponies magically develop pockets, I have no other way to store it. Now, let's get going." _________________________________________________________________________________ They searched Ponyville until they found the house that the Doctor had forgotten the TARDIS in earlier that month. Actually, according to the Doctor, he hadn't forgotten it, he had left it there. "On purpose?" Ditzy asked incredulously. "Yes, I left it there on purpose. As it turns out, there is a small Time Rift inside that house, right smack down in the middle of the living room. The TARDIS was getting a bit low on energy, so I parked it on the Time Rift to allow it to absorb radiation and recharge. I intended to only leave it there for the afternoon, but I ended up taking a nap and forgot." He finished his explanation sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with a hoof. The two approached the house and knocked, waiting for someone to answer. When no one did, the Doctor pulled out his screwdriver and unlocked the door, letting himself in. "Doctor! That's rude, no pony's home!" "It's not like we're stealing anything, Ditzy. We just need to open a portal possibly leading to another planet or even another dimension from the living room; it shouldn't cause too much damage to their property." Ditzy wasn't reassured. "Let's just not get caught, okay?" She followed him in slowly. The house was quite nice; plush furniture was placed around the room, ornate artworks decorating the walls. All in all it looked like a nice place to live. The Doctor placed the Portal Ray down on a coffee table, aiming the radar dish towards the center of the room. "So how is this going to work, Doctor?" "Well, Time Rifts are similar to the portals we've been seeing, except they're a bit more temperamental; you never know what'll happen with one. They don't close as quickly either, some will even take centuries to fully close. This machine I've built ought to allow me to alter the Time Rift's makeup and force open one of the portals that have been opened in town." "You see, Doctor, the thing is…when you say things like 'should' or 'ought to'…yeah, it-it tends to make me a bit nervous." The Doctor ignored that and began punching in keys on the machine, making it begin to slowly come to life. The microwave part glowed brightly, while the tails of the cats began to quickly spin back and forth erratically. A small beam of light shot out of the radar dish, hitting the middle of the room and highlighting what looked like a crack floating in midair. "Now I just need to adjust the beam to the right frequency…" The Doctor stopped one of the cat's tails and spun it clockwise. The beam of light got a little bigger. Suddenly a projection appeared in the microwave, showing a map of a familiar looking town. "Ponyville!" The Doctor smiled. "Exactly! See these dark points on the map?" He pointed to one of them. "They represent every single hole that's opened in the area." Ditzy was awestruck. "There are hundreds of them!" The Doctor checked the monitor, blinked, then checked it again. "Ditzy, there are twenty eight of them." He said flatly. Ditzy rubbed her eyes and looked at the map again. She started counting them, but quickly lost track. "Stupid wall eyes…" She fumed. The Doctor laughed apologetically, returning his attention to the machine. "Now I just have to lock onto one of them and I should be able to open it…" "There's that 'should' again…" The Doctor hit a few more keys and looked expectantly at the Time Rift. When nothing happened, he gave the radar dish a good smack with his hoof. It sputtered a little before shooting out a purplish beam of light at the rift, widening the cracks to the point where there was a large circular opening in their place. What they could see through it was a very frightened looking Berry Punch standing in her cellar. "Oh, hello there, Ms. Punch!" The Doctor waved. "We're getting closer to finding the thief, so we can't talk right now. Bye!" Before she could respond he pressed another button and the opening closed for a second, only to reopen again, this time into an alley near the market in Ponyville. They could see ponies walking between stalls, saddlebags filled with groceries. "Hmm, it looks like its opening the portal's in order that they were closed. We'll have to cycle through them to find the right one." He began opening and closing the portal, each time the view on the other side changing to a different place in Ponyville. Then it opened up to reveal a yellow Earth pony with an orange mane and tail and a bundle of carrots for a cutie mark. She didn't look at all surprised when she noticed Ditzy and the Doctor staring at her through it. "Hi Carrot Top!" Ditzy waved excitedly. "Hi Ditzy. Hello Doctor." She waved back, but not with as much enthusiasm as Ditzy Doo. In fact, she looked bored, like this sort of thing happened a lot. "Hey, Ditzy, if you're headed over to the market later, could you pick up some more of that herbal tea you got before?" "Sure thing Carrot Top! We just passed that a minute ago, but I think the Doctor might be able to take me by there again! Right Doctor?" "Wha-Oh, right! Uh, yeah, sure, I guess." "Thank you Doctor! See you later Carrot Top!" Ditzy waved goodbye. "Yep, see ya Ditzy. Bye Doctor." She gave a lazy wave and started yawning before the Doctor closed the portal. ________________________________________________________________________________ They began their search again after a quick stop back at the market so Ditzy could pick up some tea, which required the Doctor to reset the machine and start cycling through the openings from the beginning. When they came back to Ditzy's house, she called out to Carrot Top and handed the tea over to her. "Thanks Ditzy." "No problem, Carrot Top!" With that done, they went back to looking for the thief. They spent a good few minutes opening and closing portals, surprising more then a few ponies with a sudden "window in space" right inside their kitchen. When they reached portal twenty seven, a massive flood of confetti shot out at them, blanketing the floor of the room in brightly colored scraps of paper. They stood there in confusion for a moment before Pinkie Pie suddenly jumped through. "Oops, sorry about that! I was just getting ready for my new friends party, and I wasn't expecting a big portal thingy to pop up in my room! Did you guys get your invites yet? I guess not, 'cause I haven't sent them out yet! Ooh, it's going to be so super-duper extra spectacularly fun! I've got a cake and cupcakes and punch and games, plus a big pile of confetti to launch everywhere! Oh, I guess you already know, that, huh? 'Cause it's already in here! How silly is that! Well, I better get going; I still have lots and lots to plan for the party! See ya!" As usual Pinkie's mouth ran faster than a cheetah on steroids, scooping up the confetti on the floor and pushing it back through the portal into her room while she rambled. When it was over and the Doctor had closed the portal, they both stood there for a moment to absorb everything that had just happened. When they got over it, they prepared for what was next. "Alright Ditzy, last portal. Whatever is going to be on the other side has to be where the thief is hiding. Get ready; we don't know what it's going to be." Ditzy puffed out her chest and gave a salute. "Right-O, Doctor!" He took a deep breath before hitting a button on the machine. The portal opened to stacks of dried grass, wooden beams and a couple sacks of flour. A large door that was partially opened showed trees decorated with large red apples. It looked like the inside of the barn at Sweet Apple Acres. "Applejack is the thief?" Ditzy asked while staring through the portal. "No…no this can't be right…" The Doctor checked the display of the map on the microwave. He counted the dots, frowning when he got to the last one. "Twenty eight…but that's impossible! We checked all of them! How could we have missed something?" He began typing on the machine again. The radar dish sputtered like before, then stopped completely. "No, no, no!" He gave the radar dish another quick wack to get it restarted. It shot out the beam and opened the rift once again, but this time instead of a portal to the barn, it showed nothing. Complete black, not a ray of light to be seen through it. "I think we broke the rift, Doctor." "No, that's impossible! We searched every opening in Ponyville, how is it possible we didn't find where the thief is?" The Doctor walked over to the portal, sticking his head in and looking around. He pulled it back and turned around to face Ditzy. "I just don't understand where we could have failed…Ditzy, why are you looking at me like that?" Indeed, Ditzy was now staring at the Doctor with a strange look on her face. Slowly the look morphed into one of fear. The Doctor's eyes widened when he realized what she was really looking at. "Ditzy…please don't tell me what it is. I'd rather die not knowing what's about to kill me." He felt something grab one of his back legs and quickly pull him through the portal. "Ditzy, run!" was all he was able to get out before he was enveloped in complete darkness. ________________________________________________________________________________ Back in the library of Ponyville, Twilight was cataloging the books and putting them in the correct order with the help of her assistant, a little purple dragon named Spike. "Let's see…'Horticultural Spells and Incantations', that goes in the 'Natural' section-" "Twilight, do we have to do this? It's not like anything has changes since last week." Spike said from his lounge made from a pile of books. "Of course Spike, repetition is the way to keep your mind sharp. Now get off the Astronomy pile, you're going to bend the spines." Suddenly the door flew open, a bright pink Earth pony bounding in and skipping about the library. "Hey Twilight, hey Twilight, hey Twilight, hey Twilight, hey Twilight, hey Twili-" Twilight placed a hoof against her mouth, silencing her. "What is it, Pinkie." Pinkie Pie began talking, unfazed by the fact that Twilight's hoof was still covering her mouth. "Hmmpf hmm hm mpf mm mph-" Twilight took her hoof away. "-and so I thought, what better way to send out the invitations then to personally deliver them myself! So I decided to go to all my very besty-best friends houses and give them to them in person-" "Wait, hold on Pinkie. What invitations are you talking about?" "To the party I'm throwing for my new friend! Duh! Why else would I spend the better part of a day preparing for a party if I wasn't planning on throwing one? Come on Twilight, I thought you were smart enough to know that much-" Twilight placed her hoof back over Pinkie's mouth. "New friend? Is there a new pony in Ponyville?" This time she took her hoof back before Pinkie's reply so she wouldn't miss half the explanation again. "No, not a new pony. A new friend. I met him in my basement! He's big and scary looking, but he played hide and seek with me so he can't be bad. I decided to throw a party for him to celebrate me getting a new friend and-" "Wait, you met somepony-er, something in your basement that was big and scary looking and you decided to throw it a party?" Twilight asked, wide eyed. "Yep!" Something dawned on Twilight, and she got a look of recognition on her face. "Pinkie, can you describe exactly what you saw in your basement?"