CHAPTER ONE
Trixie tossed and turned in her lumpy bed. She couldn't get to sleep, couldn't rest, not from the rain dropping on the roof of the 7th floor apartment she called 'home', and not even from the tarantula she swore lived in the corner of her room. No. Her conflicting thoughts inside her head were the culprit. Her reality was a dark hole, and she lived in the center.
On the bedside table stood a solitary bottle of hard apple cider with a dented metal cup, drank dry, beside it. She was sleeping less and less, and she had turned to the drink, succumbing to her desire to leave the world behind. It had worked, at least for a couple of hours, before the hangover started. Her life was grim, she thought.
Her ratty apartment was at the top of the apartment building, perched precariously on the 6th floor, that was already too high. She lived in Canterlot, behind the water facilities, in the so called Pony Ghetto. Not all of Canterlot was bright and flashy. She hadn't payed her cheap rent for three months because, well, she wasn't making any money. Her only joy in life was, she didn't have one.
She sat up and stumbled to the door. It opened with a sick creaking noise, and she stumbled down the stairs, one at a time, two at a time. She could hear strange noises coming from her neighbors rooms. She stopped. She could swear someone, no something, was watching her.
She quietly went down the spiral staircase, all the way to the lobby, that was in need of some repair. She took a step out, then stopped. She could smell something a little bit like rancid meat. She had the worst suspicion...... She turned around and jumped backwards.
There stood spider Twilight Sparkle, in all of her glory. What looked like blood was dripping from her hairy mandibles, and her purple face was stretched out. Her horn looked more like a spike. Her eyes were glowing red, and as Trixie watched, her jaws opened wide and she lunged forward.
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Trixie woke up.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
If anyone had come to check on me, they would have probably ponynapped me and thrown me down the waterfall. was pretty sure that everyone in the building was shady in one way or another.
"All right, Trixie, everything's all right...."
I only talked to myself in dire situations, such as waking up after having a bad dream and not having anyone to snuggle with. Like the narrator said before, her life was tough. Her motto: keep your enemies close, but keep your teddy bears closer.
I looked at the clock, hoping desperately that it wasn't 3 o'clock. 5:00. good. I got out of bed, and put my hat on. Her magic hat (not magic, just 'magic'). Ever since the alicorn amulet and the fake apology I had given Twilight, I was deteriorating more and more. My show setup had even been sabotaged.
With a sigh, I began the long trek down the elevator-less building. There were long cracks on the walls that reminded me of the wrinkles of my grandpony. Down down down. Nothing watching her. When she got to the lobby, her 6th floor neighbor grunted at her.
"HWAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"
I assumed the poise of the flying ninja crow, but then realized there was nothing to worry about.
"Oh. Sorry," I remarked.
"UNGHRUNGHR!"
"Love you too."
And I went out to get breakfast.
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"Well howdy-doo, miss! What can I getcha for?"
Hmmmmmmmm. Must be an apple family relative.
"A decaf, no milk, no sugar."
"Anything else?"
"No"
I should have ordered an extra-large espresso.
After breakfast, I went to my cart. I had taken to hiding it under the bridge near my house to keep it away from prying eyes. I opened the doors to the wannabe trailer with my mirrors. I had a bag of week old bagels from Ponymart, and she bit into one, ignoring the musty taste.
My trailer was a sight. Oh my. Mirrors, lasers, dead goldfish.... what?
The main attraction to most people though, was the pointy thing on the top of my head. The crowbar, of course.
My magic was not powerful, just enough to induce excitement in the audience, then my tricks would do the rest. That was my biggest secret. (shhhhh). I turned her horn and used my weak magic to start moving the cart up the hill very, very slowly.
I rolled down the road. I was heading to the flashier part of town, at least before I got laughed at, or maybe kicked out. The money coming in was almost non-existant. When I got past the outskirts of the worst part of canterlot, where I lived, Canterlot got fancier and fancier the farther you got in, then at the middle, there lay the royal palace.
When I reached my point of setup, she pulled a rope. The front opened up, the walls popped out, and a relatively small dose of illegal fireworks flew out and went KABOOM with LOTS of excitement!
I got a tomato in the face.
I felt the cold tomato juice drip down her face. That's it, she thought. She lifted the tomato off her face, split it into several pieces, and threw them at the nearest ponies. Next, the bagels. She looked around.
I got a tomato in the face.
"OH, IT IS ON!"
I took the hat off somepony's head and frisbee'd it at the culprit.
"WHIZZ."
"MY HAT!"
The hat did not approve of my opinion. Or maybe that was the voice in her head. She told it to shut up.
The hat barely missed the Colt.
"GODDANG IT!"
Hmmmmmmmm. I pondered a new battle tactic. I might be able to call a helicopter in, but I would have to get a seven hat streak first. I threw herself behind the fountain, and army-crawled across the brick stone ground. Another couple walked into the park, both wearing hats. I grinned.
The royal guard were escorting her to the castle grounds with the colt that was behind the tomato throwing to be brought before the "Sweet Celestia." Ha. She teleported 2 feet in front of me all of sudden. The guards didn't even so much as flinch, but I yelped. I wish that I could be more influential, the type of pony everypony should know.
"TRIXIE!!!!!! YOU KNOW I TOLD YOU ABOUT HAT THROWING. A HAZARDOUS OCCUPATION!!!! She turned to the guards.
"IS THERE A LAW ON THAT?"
Jesus, I thought. Is she turning into Nightmare Moon?
After we got that sorted out, I headed back to my magic stand. Yeah. No hat throwing or revenge in the middle. Right.
Things went okay that afternoon. A couple of tourists, kids, the usual.
That is my life. I'm hoping things will look up soon.