//------------------------------// // Chapter three: Pinkie “Poozer” Pie has problems // Story: The Unlikely Lanterns of Planet Equis // by xanderman1201 //------------------------------// Killowog (for that was what Hal had said his name was) took a swing at Pinkie, throwing his fist straight at her face. All of the other Lanterns in the training hall were sitting off to the side watching the amazing spectacle of the best trainer in the Green Lantern Corps… …horribly failing to land a single hit on a four legged, poufy, giggling, pink pony. Pinkie side stepped the experienced Green Lantern’s attack at last second possible. Killowog’s fist hit the floor where she had been a fraction of a second before, leaving a sizable dent in it. “You missed.” She stated with a smile. The alien attempted to back hand her, only to end up swinging at empty air. “You missed again.” She announced in a sing song tone of voice from directly behind him. His ring lit up as turned whirled around, summoning a hammer made of emerald light. His efforts to harm her were not rewarded, however, as she ducked under the swing. “You know you’re supposed to be hitting me, right?” Killowog growled and took another swing at her, then another, followed by yet another. The ecstatic equine always seemed to know exactly where he was aiming and managed to get out of the way every time. “Quit playing around, you poozer; you can’t win if you never try to hit me back!” He shouted at the pink pony. “Hit you back? Doesn’t that imply that you’d actually managed to hit me first?” Killowog’s eyes narrowed. His adversary was apparently better at avoiding hits than most rookie lanterns with basic military training, but it was obvious that she didn’t have that kind of training at all. She was just a civilian that was really quick and agile. Her increased efforts, however, would never make up for her lack of actual skill. All he had to do was take her a little more seriously… …which was really hard to do when she was bouncing around, giggling like an idiot. He rushed her, with his hammer raised high above his head. She dodged to her left, but saw what his plan really was just a second too late. As he brought the hammer down it split into two hammers, attached to each other by a tether of green light. One hammer went to each side, and as much as Pinkie’s friends talked about her defiance of the laws of physics it wasn’t something she could do on command. Her move to dodge left couldn’t be undone; she was stuck moving right in the way of Killowog’s attack. Oh I am so going to feel this one tomorrow… Crack! “Augh!” The party pony cried out in pain, as Killowog’s strength slammed the hammer into her ribs, bashing her body against the floor. Any possible confidence she might have had in her ability to be a Green Lantern was quickly shattered in the aftermath of that blow. Was that at least three broken ribs she felt? Why, yes; yes it was. The damaged ribs might explain why she was suddenly finding it hard to breath. It might also be a part of the reason she could taste blood in her mouth. Oh hey, there was Hal standing over her. He was saying something…she couldn’t quite make out what though, over the ringing in her ears. Her head had hit that floor harder than anything else it had collided against all day. Huh…maybe this is what it feels like when Dashie crash lands. Pinkie thought to herself, right before passing out. * Pinkie let out a quiet moan, and slowly opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Hal and Killowog looking down at her. She was still in the training room, although it appeared the area had been vacated with the exception of herself and her two alien friends. “Ugh…did anyone get the number of the train that hit me?” “That was no train, Pinkie; just Killowog…although, quite frankly, I’m not sure which one hits harder.” Hal replied. “You feeling okay there, Poozer?” The large alien asked. “You took that hit pretty hard.” Pinkie tried to move, and found that she felt a lot better than she did before she passed out. Of course, better didn’t mean without pain; her side was sore beyond all reason and she had a throbbing headache. “I’m in pain, but it’s nowhere near as bad as before.” She told them. She then frowned and added. “I don’t really think I’m cut out for this kind of stuff though.” “Nonsense! You were doing great for a rookie.” Killowog declared. “Stick with me, and I’ll have you fighting bad guys like a pro in no time!” “Considering how badly you beat me and the fact that you did it in one hit, I’m not exactly sure I believe that.” “Come on, Pinkie; if a rookie quit every time they had to receive medical care after one hit from Killowog, the Corps wouldn’t have nearly as many members as it does.” Hal told her. “Not to mention you just went one on one with one of the best fighters in the Corps, and lasted more than three minutes without using light constructs or flying. All you need to do is train hard and toughen up a little, and you’ll be a great lantern.” Killowog added. “I’m still not sure about that…but I guess I can keep trying.” “That’s the spirit.” Hal said. “Anyways, I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave you in the capable hands of Killowog and whoever the guardians are going to choose to help him train you. I’m being reassigned to cover for you in your sector until Killowog and your other trainer say you’re ready for field duty.” “Huh? You’re leaving? But-” Pinkie started to say, but her human friend cut her off. “Relax. I’m sure we’ll get to hang out again some other time, and you’ll do just fine with the training as long as you try your hardest.” “Well, it’s good to know all that, but I was more concerned with the part where I’m being left on an alien planet for an undetermined amount of time. I ran off from my home the night I left, and there’s a big crater by my other house, which was destroyed when a certain Green Lantern crashed right through it. Everypony is going to think something bad happened to me. I don’t want them all to worry or panic and think I’m dead. And what happens if a changeling replaces me while I’m gone?” “Uh…” Hal scratched his head and glanced at Killowog for help. The larger alien shrugged in response. “Well, then…I’d better get over there and contact the other Green Lantern in your sector so we can figure out something to do about that. Good luck with the training.” And with that the human turned and left, shutting the door behind him as he exited. The remaining two Green Lanterns sat for a moment in awkward silence. “So…what kind of stuff are we going to do first?” * “So I just think of something, and will my ring to create it?” “Yep.” Pinkie raised a questioning eyebrow at her newest alien friend. “That’s all there is to it? Just think of something and make it appear?” “That’s all you’ve got to do.” Pinkie looked back at her ring, frowning slightly. The fact that someone expected her to need training in how to do something as simple as making these “Hard Light Constructs” said that someone was clearly underestimating her intelligence. “Okay then…here I go.” She closed her eyes and imagined an object that she was familiar with. She then opened them again, and concentrated on her ring. A moment later, a tether of green light darted out of her ring and constructed the desired object… Killowog laughed. “Wow, rookie, you’re just dying to get back to the fighting aren’t you? It’s not often a new recruit makes a cannon right off the bat.” Pinkie was about to reply, when her large alien friend pointed his ring at the cannon. A green blast of energy shot out of the ring, hitting the cannon and causing it to shatter in a flash of green light. “These constructs are the tools of your will. The more conviction you put into making them, the stronger they are. If you don’t have confidence that what you made will get the job done, it’ll weaken, and be more likely to fail. That’s the reason why a lot of Lanterns try to make constructs of things their familiar with; you have more confidence when working with things you know how to use.” Killowog aimed his ring at Pinkie. “Now that you know all that, let’s see if you can’t make something strong enough to block one of my shots.” “Uh…are you sure that’s such a good idea? I mean, didn’t you just almost put me in a hospital with that thing?” Pinkie asked nervously taking a step back and pointing at Killowog’s ring. “Well, you know what they say, Poozer: no pain, no gain.” A blast of energy shot forward from the ring. Rather than block it, like she’d been told to do, Pinkie ducked under the attack. “Are you sure I can’t have a little more time to practice making constructs? I mean, do we really need to jump straight into this part of the training?” Killowog fired another couple of shots at her, all of which she dodged. “You’re not going to get any better if you don’t try to work on what you can’t do well. Now stop moving and start trying to block, you pathetic pink sissy!” “Calling me names isn’t making me want to be anymore compliant with your demands.” Pinkie replied as she nervously danced around another volley of shots. It was plain to see that her confidence was very lacking at the moment. Killowog honestly couldn’t blame her for that; she didn’t really seem like the fighter type. Her behavior was playful, silly, and in no way serious. He doubted any shield she made right now to defend herself would protect her from a fly, let alone from one of his shots. Still, jumping straight in was the best way to train a rookie; experience was the best teacher. Letting her put this lesson off would only make things worse in the long run. She needed to learn to get over her failures; such easily shaken determination could easily get a lantern killed. “Come on! You’re supposed to be acting like the next great champion of your world! If you’re the best the ring could find then it seems to me that your whole world is pretty pathetic!” “Hey! A lot of the ponies and other creatures on Equis are my friends you jerk! Pick on me all you want, but leave them out of it!” “Or what? You and your prissy little pony friends are going to run crying to mommy?” The first sign that Killowog had crossed a line was probably the twitching in Pinkie’s left eye. “I bet their just as big of sissies as you are.” The clenched teeth and small amount of steam coming out Pinkie’s ears probably should have made for an obvious warning number two. “Probably not that bright either, considering how stupid you are. If you can’t even grasp the concept of blocking an attack, your mother probably couldn’t-” He never did get to finish that sentence. There was a scream of inarticulate rage, followed by a pair of transparent green hooves slammed into Killowog’s gut with all the force of a charging minotaur. Before he could recover, she was already upon him, hitting him repeatedly with a glowing green baseball bat she held in one hoof. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted what appeared to be a construct of a pony charging straight at him. Another one dropped down from above, attacking him like an angry bird. He called up a hammer and managed to smash the flying construct as it took another pass at him, but he was subsequently tackled by the other pony construct, which proceeded to savagely try and trample him. One shot at point blank range later, the large alien got back to his feet just in time to have a bat hit him in the face. Whack! Right in the head. “DON’T!” Whack! All air had been forcefully removed from his lungs. “YOU!” Whack! He was certainly going to feel that one in the morning. “DARE!” Whack! That one had to hurt. “TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER LIKE THAT!” Pinkie took another swing, but was cut off when a large green fist slammed into her from the side, knocking her straight into a wall. Her eyes traced the fist back to its source; a green lantern who appeared to be human, just like Hal. His mane was ginger, and done in a bowl cut style and he didn’t have a mask on. His outfit consisted of a black pair of pants and long sleeved shirt, a green sleeveless jacket (or maybe it was just a very jacket-looking vest) with the lantern symbol on it, white gloves, a belt, and a pair of green boots. “Killowog, I can’t believe you just got your butt kicked by talking, pink, miniature horse. I bet you feel real proud of yourself right now.” Killowog glanced in Pinkie’s general direction. “Heads up, Guy.” The human glanced in the same direction Killowog was looking, just in time to get smacked in the face by a pegasus construct. Pinkie flew over to the door, glaring at the two senior lanterns the whole way. “No parties for either of you! For the rest of your lives!” She shouted, before throwing the doors open and flying off. The Human and Killowog remained where they were for a few moments, before the silence was broken by the larger of the two. “Hey Gardner, I can’t believe you just got your butt kicked by a talking, pink, miniature horse. I bet you feel real proud of yourself right now.” “Shut up, Killowog. She just got a lucky shot, that’s all; at least I didn’t get thoroughly trampled, like you did.” The human replied. “What the heck did you do to piss her off anyways? Ganthet made her out to sound like some kind of stupid, naive, sweet little kid or something…” Killowog got to his feet and looked out to door. “I’m not completely sure, but I may have been trying to goad her into trying to use a construct to hit me and accidentally taken it a bit too far.” “Well, congratulations big guy, it worked. She definitely hit you with one of her constructs…and now we have a rookie GL in a bad mood running loose on Oa…and I’m going to have to knock her out and drag her back here.” Guy Gardner said, as he glared out the door Pinkie had exited through. * Pinkie had no idea where she was now. All the buildings on Oa looked the same to her, which resulted in her getting lost very quickly. It was very hard for her to find a place to be alone with all the other Green Lanterns being out and about. After a few minutes of searching, she finally found a seemingly empty balcony in a relatively quiet area. She landed on it, sitting down with her fore-hooves resting on the railing, and her head on her fore-hooves. Her hair fell straight as she let out a depressed sigh. “Gosh…I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that angry over stuff like that before.” she said to nopony but herself. “The last time I ever flew off the handle about that was years ago, and even then I didn’t do anything until they started picking on somepony else.” “Would you care to talk about it?” asked a familiar voice. Pinkie turned to spot one of the guardians of the universe slowly floating over to her. She immediately recognized him as the one that had saved her from the wrath of his peers. She returned her head to its resting place on her hooves and let out another sigh. “Not really. No offence, but I don’t think you’d really understand it, even if I did explain it to you…” “Normally, I would be inclined to disagree with you, but at the moment I find that your statement actually helps prove a point. While most seek advice from those who do understand them, the opinion they receive tends to be somewhat biased. Perhaps by explaining your worries to someone who doesn’t understand you will discover the fresh perspective you need to put the problem to rest.” The equine GL blinked, and thought it over for a moment. The guardian had a valid point. If you asked a bunch of people who had similar experiences for help, there was a good chance you were going to get a lot of similar answers, most of which Pinkie had heard before. Maybe a fresh perspective from someone who didn’t get it would be helpful. “Well…” The party pony began. * “…And that’s why I’m out here instead of training.” Pinkie finished. The guardian next to her was suppressing a slight chuckle. “No parties for you”…she certainly knows how to make a threat. He thought to himself. “Yes, I can see why that would have you so upset, though I’m certain Killowog didn’t mean what he was saying. He is correct about your training, though. You will only get better if you put your best effort into the tasks he gives you.” The small alien put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “As for your other problem, I’m afraid you are correct for the most part; I’ve never experienced such a thing personally. What I knowledge I have gathered from such subjects is all second hand, and I honestly must say that I don’t truly understand it. But know that I’m very sorry for your loss.” Pinkie gave him a sad smile, knowing that unlike many others who had spoken the same words to her before, this stranger on a far away world truly was sorry to hear about her misfortune. This of course brought a very important question to her mind. “Why are you so different?” “I beg your pardon?” “You’re not like the other guardians. You’re nice, and friendly, and caring. You didn’t get angry when I was super disrespectful earlier, and you took the time to stop and see what was bothering me even though I know you must be busy with some super important work, what with guarding the universe and all. So why are you so different from the other guardians?” The blue alien smiled. “Oh, I wouldn’t say I’m too different. All of us are concerned for the well being of the entire universe. I simply believe that if we detach ourselves from the problem emotionally, and only follow the logical course of action, then we will be almost no better than the evils we fight. Obviously we cannot always afford to show compassion all the time, less someone takes advantage of it…but showing it whenever possible is good enough.” “But why waste your time on me? I know you just said all that stuff about showing compassion and all that, but why me specifically?” Pinkie asked. “Let’s just say that I see something special in you, and that the corps could use someone like you.” He turned and started to float back over to the door from whence he’d come, only to be stopped by cry. “Wait! I, uh…I don’t mean to seem rude or anything, but…if you have a name, could you please tell me what it is?” “I am Ganthet of the Guardians.” * “Jeez, how hard is it to find one pink horse on a world where everything is black, white, and green?” Guy grumbled to himself. He’d been searching for hours, and was turning up empty handed everywhere he looked. “Hi Mr. Human!” Guy whirled around and found himself face to face with the very creature he was looking for. “Before you say anything, I’m really sorry about earlier, I was just really-” She began to say, before being cut off by a fist of green energy hitting her in the face, knocking her away from him. “Yeah, you’re going to be sorry, punk! Because there ain’t no way in hell Guy Gardner is letting some pink, poufy, pansy pony get away with hitting him in the face! I’m gonna knock you out and drag you back to the training hall so I can knock you out again for fun!” Pinkie rubbed her jaw where he had hit it, not liking the feeling of pain one bit. “That doesn’t sound very fun to me…” “Maybe not, but I’ll sure have a blast.” Guy threw another energy fist at her, but it was stopped by a brick wall construct, created by Pinkie. The wall cracked and threatened to break on her, but just barely managed to hold. “Yeah, but I’ll get all beaten up and won’t be able to say I’m sorry.” “I don’t see anything stopping you from apologizing.” The fist Guy had used disappeared, as he began rapidly firing of energy blasts from his ring. Pinkie dismissed her own construct and began dodging the attacks with little effort. “Well, it is kind of hard to apologize while you’re shooting at me, but I guess I can handle it since you don’t appear to want to stop.” Pinkie called up a kite shield to block another energy punch thrown by Guy, but her shield shattered, and the pink pony just barely managed to get away with the attack only grazing one of her legs. “Wow that was close. Anyways, where was I? Oh, right. I’m really sorry about earlier, I was just really upset, and I kind of blew up in Killowog’s face, and then you hit me, and it was just all sorts of foul moods and getting off on the wrong hoof. Seriously, I almost never do that kind of stuff back home. So if you wouldn’t mind forgiving me, I’d really like to start over and see if we couldn’t be friends.” Guy paused in his attack for a second, and Pinkie cautiously lowered her defenses… …she was subsequently hit in the face with a hammer construct and knocked out. “Okay, now let’s start over. I’m Guy Gardner, and I just kicked your pink butt. It’s nice to meet you.” * Pinkie sat in pain, holding one of Oa’s equivalents of an ice pack against her head as she watched Killowog give a number of Green Lanterns quick demonstration of how to kick Guy Gardner’s butt. They were back at the training hall, and the large alien had been a bit upset that Guy had used excessive force when Pinkie had basically been surrendering to him. She sighed, bored out of her skull, when her ring started flashing. “This is Hal Jordan of Earth, temporary Green Lantern of Sector 1847, contacting Pinkie Pie of Equis, Green Lantern in training. Can you hear me there pink stuff?” The Pink pony looked at her ring with renewed fascination. “Wow, these things work as phones too? Super cool!” Pinkie heard Hal laugh a bit before responding. “Yes, they can let us communicate…anyways, I have something kind of important that you need to know about. Is Killowog there with you?” “Hang on a second, Hal.” Pinkie looked over at the alien in question, who was actively demonstrating the best way to attempt to break a humans arm. “Hey Killowog! I know you’re super busy at the moment, but Hal’s talking to me on my ring and he says he wants to talk to you too!” Reluctantly, Killowog let go of Guy and went over to where the pink pony was, leaving the bruised human in charge of training. “Alright Jordan, I’m here now. What did you want to tell us?” “I thought you should get a heads up about this, since it’s bound to become a complicated mess, but one of the lanterns in Sector 1846 was assisting the acting lantern of Sector 1847 with something and...well, to make a long story short, you’re about to get another Poozer from Equis…”