//------------------------------//
// Chapter Four: Named in Honour of Bobby Orr 
// Story: Two Guys' Crimefighting Adventure (in Equestria) 
// by Alan Smithee 
//------------------------------//

Patches and Twilight made their way through the thick forest. Bill was nowhere to be seen.
"So...you're a pony."
"I am."
"We have ponies where I'm from too."
"Really?" Twilight's mood lifted at this new tidbit of information, "How do humans and ponies get along? Do you trade? Who controls the Sun and Moon? Who controls the weather?"
Patches answered all these questions at once.
"We domesticated the ponies."
"HUH?"
"Yes. We domesticated them and a few other equine species a few...thousand years ago I think."
"How can you domesticate a species that can think and talk?"
"The ponies where I come from didn't evolve to the same level of intelligence as you. They can't talk."
"Can they use magic?"
"No"
"Interesting. There's some debate over whether language or magic came first. What do ponies do?"
"Beasts of burden, mostly. Generally, they aren't used for food, but they can be when there's nothing left to eat. They also provide by-products for various uses"
"I don't want to talk about this anymore."
Patches stopped.
"Wait a minute. Something's not right. We should have caught up with Bill by now. BILL! WHERE ARE YOU!"
Bill's reply was faint.
"I think I went too far"
"You think, do you? Get back here and look for my baseball. We're not leaving without it"
Twilight wanted to address something with Patches. She wasn't used to ponies with social problems, so she had to ask...
"He's not normal, is he? For a human, I mean."
"Bill? Hell, no. I don't know what's wrong with him. He thinks he's autistic. He's not, though. He just wants attention."
"What does he do? Are you both detectives?"
"I am. Bill couldn't solve a crime if he was the culprit. But I still need him"
"What for?"
"He's got a mind like a steel trap. There's nothing he doesn't know. He just memorizes everything"
Twilight could relate to that.
"BILL!" Patches shouted into Bill's face, for Bill was now standing next to him, "Who won the World Series in 1972?"
"The Cubs did"
"You see? He always has the answer at the front of his mind. I don't think I could ask for a better THE CUBS HAVE NEVER WON THE WORLD SERIES!"
Before Twilight knew what was happening, Patches had Bill by the neck and was strangling him.
"What are you trying to do to me? Make me look bad? I've put people in the chair using your info!"
Bill was trying to push Patches away. Twilight was aghast.
"Patches, Bill, break it up!"
Bill was going limp. Without thinking, Twilight leaped between them and pushed them with her front hooves. They stumbled apart.
"I can't take this anymore! How can you two act like this? You're friends!"
The two men looked at Twilight Sparkle, then at each other, then at Twilight Sparkle.
"...aren't you?"
The two men looked at Twilight Sparkle, then at each other, then at Twilight Sparkle.
"GAH!"
Twilight galloped off the way they came.
Patches and Bill stood, alone in the forest. They looked at each other.
"Are we?"




Next chapter, you will thrill as Twilight Sparkle has a conversation with Applejack, and the author will struggle to write decent pony dialogue.
Don't miss it!