Letters to Celestia

by Storylover-Vodhr


Spike's escapades

Dear Princess Celestia,

I think I've really messed up. Bad.

Before you try and do the whole comforting thing that Twi Loves, which sounds totally awesome right now, I gotta explain what I did.

It all started when Twi and Dash were going out. They gave me twelve bits, told me to have fun in town, and to not make any pies. ‘Cause, well, my pies are seriously misunderstood. They’re even better than those trash cupcakes Applejack made, and don’t let anypony tell you otherwise.

Anyway, I ended up going to the cake’s for some, well, cakes. When I got there, I saw the Cutie Mark crusaders, all huddled up, talking and whispering as they always do. I, being the nice and awesome dragon I am, said hello and asked if they wanted to get some cupcakes with me. Next thing I know, Applebloom and Sweetie Bell look at each other with their evil trademark grins and shoved Scootaloo towards me. She was just as confused as I was, and all she did was turn beet red when the other two ran off giggling evilly as they’re famous for.

Ok, they aren’t famous for it, but still. They do it a lot. Who would ’a thought that the Cutie Mark Crusaders were so… mischievous?

Wait, don’t answer that. I remember what they did in Canterlot.

Anyway, I ended up asking Scootaloo if she wanted some cupcakes, and she gave me a stare that meant either “I’m gonna kill those two…” or “Yes Spike, why else would I continue to be sitting next to you after my other two traitorous friends ditched me?” I couldn’t really tell. I’m not known for my “Skills in regards to reading facial cues.” Whatever that even means.

Either way, I ended up buying three ruby dust cupcakes, and three rainbow sprinkled cupcakes with crème filling, seeing as Scootaloo loves Rainbow Dash, and we ended up sitting down at a table. Seeing as I was with Scootaloo, I expected some cool talking and stuff, but all I got from her was a nervous stare, as if I was gonna teleport her to you if she said something wrong.

Not that I would never do that.

After a very awkward half hour of eating, which was long because I wanted to enjoy the gems, Scootaloo ended up saying something before turning redder then Big Mac and running off. I didn’t even hear what she said! I ended up leaving a quarter of a cupcake on the table, which I am hoping is still there, and chased her. She ended up locking herself in the crusader’s fort, and I ended up getting jumped by an angry Applebloom and Sweetie Bell. They yelled at me for hurting Scootaloo, making her feel bad and other things like that, and the moment ended with me badly hog tied and blindfolded inside their fort.

Obviously Applebloom’s skill is not restraining ponies. Although I would be kinda scared if it was.

After that, Scootaloo and the other crusaders got in a fight, which I couldn’t see, or even hear, ‘cause they were outside, and the next thing I know, I’m alone. I must have sat there for fifteen minutes, hog tied and blindfolded in their fort, before Scootaloo finally cut my ropes. She told me she was sorry, and gave me a hug, but I was still dazed and confused.

Then, she asked me a question that made me even more dazed and confused. She asked me to go to the school dance with her! And I said yes!

And that’s where I am in trouble. I have no clue what I’m doing, what I’m supposed to do, or even how I supposed to act. I’m completely lost, and covered in rope burns.

Help me!

Your faithful student’s assistant,

Spike “The Dragon” Sparkle.

P.S Sorry about my comments on the last letter. I’m gonna have to lay off the donuts.