Dark Body, Light Soul (Or the Tale of the Stalfos)

by Garino


27: Ultimate Showdown, Part Duex

Chapter 27: Ultimate Showdown, Part Duex

I bet you can guess that I'm an idiot, right? I just introduce myself to one of the guys that wants me buried for good, as if I'M the one running the town, and I do so with so much attitude (you can't tell by reading words alone), a certain bowler-wearing cat would say, "The amount of swag in this entrance is TOO DAMN HIGH!" ...okay, that might be a bit of a stretch. But anyway, I'm here to point out that no, I am NOT an idiot.

I am, in fact, a moron of the highest order.

The king removed himself from the throne, grabbing a nearby lance and pointing its blade at me. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't strike you down here and now for breaking out of the dungeon, incapacitating my army, and conspiring to overthrow my rule," he growled.

"Well," I said, unsure of the word's weight, "because there are currently paladins roaming your city and plan to destroy it in an effort to find a gate to Tartarus that may or may not be close by?"

Griffon dropped his spear, giving me a dumbfounded look. There was a small snicker. Then a chuckle. Then full-on laughter. "Ha...hahaha...HAHAHAHAHA! AHHAHAHAHA! OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE, YOU DECEIVER, YOU!" he exclaimed. He laughed a bit more before finishing with, "Ah, I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl, thank you for that."

If I had eyelids, they'd be blinking right now. "Yeah, just one problem," I sighed.

"Oh? And that would be?" he asked.

"I wasn't joking; some group of radicals calling themselves the Reverent Dawn are razing the town for the exact reasons I just stated," I explained again. "I know it sounds crazy, MAYBE with a dash of dark comedy, but it's true. Your next Honor Guard, Shiira? Killed one in the infirmary because he tried to murder her. Also, according to her, he's been posing as one of your soldiers. ONE. OF. YOUR. SOLDIERS. If he was able to do that, who knows how long the others have been here, or even their means of entrance!"

Why the guards didn't come in at the sound of my voice is beyond me. And still beyond me is the fact that, outrageous as it may seem, King Highwind actually thought over my words. A moment passed before he picked his lance up and gave me a response.

"You lie, bonehead. Your metaphorical silver tongue will not trick me," he said, brows furrowed.

I realized he probably wasn't going to talk this out, so I removed MC from my back, gripping it in two hands. In a last-ditch effort to sway him, I shouted, "I'm not lying! If we fight each other, we're wasting time we could be spending actually stopping them!"

"THEY WILL FAIL, AS WILL YOUR EFFORTS TO DETHRONE ME!" the now-angry gryphon shouted, flying at me. He attempted to impale me before I had a chance to fight back. Thankfully, I rolled out of the way before he could succeed.

Regaining my footing, I turned to him, somehow seeing words appear.

Dragoon King of Undead
Griffon Highwind

Wait, Dragoon?

With a shout, Highwind flew above me and quickly slammed his lance down onto me. I made MC connect with the tip to absorb the blow, only for the force of the hit to shove me into the ground. I mean, he created a small dip in the throne room. And remembering that the floor was made of stone, that was quite the impressive feat for the guy. I took a wild swing at him, missing completely as he flew out of range. Yeah, and I thought I could take THIS guy on?

He came down again, this time a bit faster. I used MC to push the blade away, causing him to hit the ground with his lance. The shock made him lose grip of his weapon, dropping it on the ground. I capitalized by swiping at his body with my hammer again. He wasn't as quick to the dodge this time, and I managed to hit his wing. Highwind was still flying, but the blow really took a toll; he wasn't holding himself aloft as well as he could. Capitalize now, a thought rang out.

I dropped my hammer to the side and prepared to throw my shield at his bad wing. Sadly, in spite of the luck I had with doing this a few times before, it didn't work this time. Instead, my opponent managed to strafe aside and dodge the shield. Even worse? It flew right out the window, descending slowly like a frisbee. That wasn't capitalizing on the situation, the thought snarked.

Geez, figure that out all by yourself, or did someone hand you a cheat sheet? I thought.

Quit arguing with yourself and get back in the fight! it shot back.

I picked up my hammer again just as Griffon grabbed his lance. "Hey, Griffon, why don't you just give up now? Because I'm gonna win in the end anyway!" I said with confidence.

Landing on the ground and trying to use basic thrust attacks, which I simply sidestepped, he replied, "And what makes you think that? The sword you used in the tournament isn't on you!"

"True," I nodded, waiting for the right moment, "but a hammer is considered an axe type, and do you know what that means?"

The king tried to thrust his spear into my face, but I ducked, causing him to skewer my hat instead. "A hammer is NOT an axe type! And what does it have to do with our fight?!?"

"It actually is," I said, noting the opening I needed. "As for why it matters to the fight, it's the same rules that say a hammer is an axe type. And THAT!" He gave another thrust, but I slammed my hammer on his lance, breaking it. "IS THE RULE!" I shoved my fist into his beak, causing him to reel back. "OF THE WEAPON!" I raised my hammer high above my head, ready to finish the job. "TRIANGLE!"

*CRUNCH*

The hammer didn't crush his head like I thought it would, but the impact sure made it clear that he was dead. I sighed as I thought back to Marcy in the other room. How am I gonna explain this? Knocking some sense into him isn't the same as... I didn't finish the thought. Instead, I sheathed MC and went to the king's bedchamber door. Before I knocked on it, I felt something grab me and throw me across the room, making my hammer fall off of my back as I had an impromptu flight.

I got up, rubbing my skull as I wondered who stopped me. The answer was...not what I wanted. Flying in front of the door, body restored to full health, and with a VERY pissed-off look on his face, was King Griffon Highwind. The air around him seemed to distort slightly, giving a small sense of an increase of power.

"You didn't think it was THAT easy to destroy me, did you, peasant!?" he bellowed.

"Erm...would you believe me if I told you yes?" I asked sheepishly.

I didn't even see him move, but I felt a huge hit right in my sternum (the thing that binds the ribs together, more or less) and send me flying further across the room. No way am I gonna get out of this unscathed, by any stretch of the imagination. I shook off the dizziness, and saw as he grabbed another weapon by his throne. When he did, getting out unscathed had lost all meaning.

The weapon he had grabbed was the weapon I had used throughout the tournament.

"You are a thorn in my side. It's time to purge you!"

"Um, not to be a smartass," I said, "but someone's already used that jo-" I took another flying lesson as I felt the flat end of the sword hit me into the wall. Talking has, officially, been taken away as a free action.

I got back up as the king cracked his neck. He moved again, but this time, I managed to escape his fist. But not the wing, as it extended and shot me into the wall AGAIN. My bones detached themselves as Griffon punched the wall where my head just occupied. Quickly reattaching myself (very crucial in a fight against an enraged gryphon that was not quite dead), I punched him a few times in the side. Sadly, the only thing it did was piss him off more. This was puntuated by the fact I was sent flying AGAIN. It seems to be a problem today.

I shakily got up and pulled out the sword hilt, holding it as if it had a blade. You'd better get a plan made within the next half-minute, or else you're gonna be bone meal, bro.

He's too fast, though! How do I deal with something that moves faster than I can keep up with?

Find a way to slow him down. You have to figure that part out on your own, though.

Of course. I stared at Highwind, who had now freed his fist from the wall's grip, and he closed his eyes. I charged as fast as I could, knowing he was going for a spell. Too late; he opened his eyes, aimed the sword at me, and I was hit by a chilling blast of cold air. I tried to press on, but it overpowered me, sending me back to the ground. I can't lose now...too much is at stake. I got back up, more unsteady than before, and I readied my hilt again.

"Just give up and accept your fate," the king laughed. "It's much faster, and far less painful."

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with NO," I said in all seriousness. As he flew at me, time seemed to slow down. The background seemed to fade as pieces of Highwind flashed. Left claw. Right wing. Torso.

Instead of attacking the parts, I did a dodge roll, avoiding the business end of Griffon's sword and too far for his wing to reach me with a snap. Even if I chose to attack, what would I use? The hilt is just that: a sword hilt. My shield was thrown outside thanks to stupidity and my hammer would be too slow to swing, if I could even find it. I glanced at the sword hilt quickly and noticed a button on it. Nothing to lose, I guess, I thought as I pressed it.

A bright pink laser shot out of the hilt and attached itself, acting as a blade. "No way," I mumbled. This thing was a beam sword. A FREAKING BEAM SWORD! I couldn't contain my laughter. If I had been able to, I would've known Highwind was shooting a fireball at me and planned accordingly. Instead, my laughter turned into a gasp as I was hit and sent into the wall, burning but still conscious.

Note to self: laughter is to be practiced OUTSIDE of combat, I thought to myself.

Noted, the other me agreed. Now use that beam sword and give him hell.

I removed myself from the wall as the king charged me again. I tried to slice him in two with my sword, only to be stopped by the sound of blades colliding.

Highwind's rage seemed to build. "Why do you fight, Stalfos, when you KNOW you will lose?"

"Because," I replied through clenched teeth, "I fight for my friends."

"Well, that's too bad, because they, along with this sorry excuse for a city, are going to disappear," an unknown voice said cheerfully.

The two of us turned our attention to the intruder: a smirking white pegasus with a yellow mane, a lance in his left hoof and a crimson armband on his right.