Chapter Three: Nightmares Of Mind And Body
Cold. Dark. Alone. These were all Applejack felt. She was surrounded by smokey black walls, unable to see past her nose. She looked around desperately, searching for just a pinprick of light in what could have been darker than Nightmare Moon's heart. The farmpony bit back a scream as panic started to well up inside her, feeling that somewhere in that fog were prying eyes that are looking into her tortured heart. "Where in Equestria am Ah?" She could hear her voice cracking in fear. This black shroud was sapping the happiness and warmth from her body. She had to escape. She galloped full speed straight ahead, feeling tears well up in her eyes and roll down her cheeks. "Somepony save me!" she cried at the top of her lungs. Eventually, the nothingness under her hooves turned into soft grass, and her vision was engulfed in a bright white flash. She halted and blinked furiously as spots danced before her eyes. Once her vision cleared she gasped. She was back at Sweet Apple Acres. It was mid-day, the sun hung high and birds sang in the apple trees. She saw her brother and sister working, bucking apples from the branches. She hurried to them. "Big Mac, Applebloom! Thank Celestia you're here. I-"
Her voice died at the sight of Big Macintosh, who stared at her not in his usual calm self, but in anger. Even hate. "What are you doing here?" The edge in his voice sliced through her like a knife through an apple peal. The red stallion scowled at her. "Why did you come back?"
She gaped at her brother, who still bore that hate filled expression. "W-what do ya' mean? A-Ah live here." Her words spilled uncertainly from her mouth, tumbling over themselves.
Her brother's face bore even more hate now. "Not anymore. Ya' can't be like the rest of us, we don't want ya' here anymore." Next to him, Applebloom let out a small huff and turned her back to her sister. "Now get off our land."
Applejack felt new tears filling her eyes. How could this be... My family's...Rejecting me. She took a few steps back, shaking her head in disbelief. This couldn't be happening. The orange mare turned on a hoof and ran away from her former family. A.J didn't know where she was going. She simply had to run. Through her blurred vision she just noticed her surroundings change to the open plains outside of Ponyville, ahead of her she saw a cyan and rainbow blur. She doubled her pace to her marefriend. "Rainbow!" the farmpony cried "Th-they turned me away. Ah got no family now." Then she stopped in horror. No... Rainbow Dash turned to face the orange mare, her rose eyes bore the same hatred.
"Look A.J! I'm tired of all this!" The pegasus bellowed and paced around Applejack. "I'm so tired of restricting myself from practicing to keep you happy. And looking back, you cost me my job as Chief of Weather Control. I also had to save your flank from the gryphons, and I almost died for it." Dash stopped in front of the earth pony, "You've cost me nothing but grief, and I'm sick of it! We're through." The cyan mare then turned and lunged into the air, flying away.
Applejack's heart shattered, and she fell to her haunches. "No... No! No! No!" she cried to the sky at the top of her lungs. then everything started to fade away, closing in on the sight of the light blue dot shrinking in the distance.
FLASH
Applejack woke with a scream, panting heavily as perspiration drenched her. Beside her Rainbow jumped up with a start, and A.J buried her face in the pegasus's prismatic main, crying uncontrollably. She felt forhooves wrap around her neck in a tight embrace.
"Oh, A.J..." She heard the soft whisper come to her as she sobbed against her love.
--==--
Through the night Applejack and Rainbow stayed up in each others embrace, which made the orange mare feel better. They didn't need to talk, they knew what the other was thinking. A.J loved this closeness she had with the prismatic maned pegasus, knowing it would never happen with another pony. A.J had told Dash about the dream. The Pegasus never interrupted her as she told what happened and listened intently. The pegasus had changed from when they were just friends, not a lot, but she seemed a bit more...Mature.
At the end of her tale, Rainbow had told her: "That will never happen, A.J. I never felt angry at you for being an earth pony. I could care less if you were an Alicorn. I love you for you. And you saw Big Mac, he just wan't you to be happy. Everything will be fine, just give it time." At the end of her words, Rainbow had wiped away Applejack's tears and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
Now the sun was rising, its soft glow came through the windows, warming A.J's coat. She sighed and slowly stood to stretch, her muscles tight from laying down for hours. Next to her Rainbow yawned and did the same, and Applejack watched the sun bring out the colors of the pegasus's bold mane.
"Don't know about you, A.J, But I'm starving." Rainbow said as she flapped her wings a few times to loosen them. "You think Twi has anything?"
The orange mare couldn't help but laugh. "Ya always think with yer stomach, R.D. Ah think ya should ask Twilight before you raid her kitchen." She gave her marefriend a playful nudge on her shoulder.
"You two are both welcome to eat something" came Twilight's voice, causing the both of them to jump. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you, guys." The purple unicorn brought a hoof over her mouth, obviously hiding a snicker.
"Whatever, Twilight. You were probably waiting to scare us!" Rainbow protested.
"Yes, Rainbow, because I do that every morning." Twilight replied sarcastically. "Anyway. I was planning on making you two something."
A.J spoke before Dash could. "Thank ya kindly, Twilight. Some food in mah stomach would be very appreciated."
"How are you holding up, A.J?" Asked twilight, her voice filled with concern.
"Ah reckon Ah'm just waiting on some news now."
On that sad note, all three mares went into the kitchen where Twi began making breakfast. Applejack and Rainbow sat patiently at the table. The orange mare was still running over everything from her dream when Twilight began placing the food on the table, her violet magic aura surrounded the plates. Before them lay toast, hay pancakes, apple tarts, and three cups of coffee. Beside her levitated a ruby for Spike. "Dig in, girls." said the purple unicorn.
Applejack didn't feel very hungry until her first bite. After that she she ate like she had been starving, but neither Twilight or Rainbow said anything. after they finished they abandoned their dirty plates and went back into the main room of the library. Applejack and Rainbow Dash sat on the couch they had slept on, and Twilight went back to her desk, looking over the book from last night. Rainbow broke the silence.
"Okay, I'll bite. What is that?" She asked.
"Oh. I should have explained this." Twilight started. "Well after the Gryphon attack, Princess Celestia asked me to ask you both and the other's who fought about the battle, as you surely remember, and compile it all those notes with a story of the fight. So this book, you see, will be published in Canterlot and sold all over Equestria!" The unicorn squealed, unable to hold in her excitement.
A.J and Rainbow looked at each other with wide eyes before facing the purple pony in front of them."Wee, shoot. Ain't that somethin'. Ah'm a mite proud of ya', Twi."
"Yeah! That is gonna be awesome!" Rainbow added enthusiastically. "Just think of it, Twilight. You could become the best known author in all of Equestria. You'll be famous!"
"And I have you girls to thank." Twilight said with a smile. " I just cant belie- " She was cut short by a knock on the door. The unicorn got up from her stool and trotted to the door, opening it. Applejack's heart stopped at the sight of her brother's hulking red frame. She quickly got up.
"Big Mac. Please tell me Granny didn't take what Ah said seriously. Ah was just frustrated, and Ah... " Her voice died in her throat and tears welled in her green eyes.
Calm as ever, Big Macintosh spoke. "She want's to talk wit' ya', A.J. She doesn't understand whats goin' on with ya'. She admitted tha' she may have overreacted, but with Cider Season comin' she's all kind's o'stressed."
The mare felt the slightest shimmer of hope inside her, spreading through her body until she could have floated where she stood. "She wants ta' talk about it?"
"Eeyup."
This was it, her chance to explain it all calmly and get her stubborn grandmother to understand. Grinning like mad, she pushed her brother out of the way. "Then what are we waitin' fer? Let's go!" She galloped back to Sweet Apple Acres, not sparing her self for the long run.
--==--
The farmpony rushed up the dirt path leading to the farm. Her breath was ragged and her legs screamed in protest from her never ending sprint. She ignored them, she was a mare on a mission. Applejack caught sight of her target in front of the barn doors, sorting though baskets of apples for apple cider.
Applejack doubled her efforts, charging for the old green mare. "Granny Smith!" She hollered before skidding to a stop in front of her startled grandmother. "Granny Smith," She said again through her ragged breaths, "Ah'm here. Big Mac sad that ya' wanted t' talk."
Granny looked up at her granddaughter and slowly stood, her ancient joints cracking and popping as she does. "Yes, child, Ah do. Before ya' get mad, Ah'm just gonna ask. Why did ya' choose t' be a fillyfooler?"
"Granny, somethin' like this ain't no choice..." Applejack said quietly, already feeling her confidence fade. "It's who Ah am, Ah tried to fight it, Ah really did, but ya' can't fight yer heart." The orange mare could already feel herself close to tears. Her stress level was increasing dramatically as her entire dream played before her eyes, making her sweat and feel light headed.
The old farmer pondered this for a few moments. "Ya' say that, A.J, But Ah'm having a hard time accepting that. Tell me, dear, what's so special about Rainbow Dash?"
Applejack blinked, completely caught off guard. Did her granny just ask that? She expects her to explain the reasons she loves a mare? "Erm..." She cleared her throat, summoning her courage. "Rainbow is the best friend of mah life. She's loyal, brave, strong, determined, And she's loving." Her voice grew in strength as her confidence began to rise. "She listens to me when Ah need to talk. She comforts me when Ah'm having a bad day. She makes me laugh when Ah'm happy. All in all, shes-"
"Your best friend." Granny Smith cut her off, making Applejack silence herself. "And only your best friend. Ah think your simply confused, A.J. You're confused and need to spend more time workin' on the farm." The ancient pony said with authority. " So far it's only been your brother out in those fields, and little Applebloom has been trying to help even though she can't knock down any apples yet. We can't afford ya' to go slacking off with your friends, not with Cider season a'comin'." A.J was speechless, the old pony continued. "From now on Ah want you in those fields from sun-up to sun-down. Understood?"
She lowered her head, her Stetson hiding her face, and stared numbly at the ground at her hooves. Several moments passed as silent sobs shook her frame. Ah should have known how this would end up. She though with a mental kick to herself. What do Ah do? I can't simply deny that Ah have responsibilities on the farm, but if Ah stay, Ah won't have time to spend with Rainbow. Her tears fell to the grass from her cheeks, and she felt a slight pain in her chest.
She took deep breaths, knowing what that pain was. The amount of stress she was in was pushing her body even more than farm work. The same had happened to Rainbow when she was hiding her feelings from all of Ponyville. Applejack never forgave herself for putting Rainbow through that. With a last deep breath, she looked up at her grandmother.
"Listen to me, Granny. Ah appreciate that you took me, Big Mac, and Applebloom inta' your home. Ah respect all the work an' effort you put inta' this family. And Ah love you for it all. Believe me when Ah say that Ah will work my hardest fer Cider Season, but Ah will not give up my right t' see Rainbow Dash." She stomped her hoof in determination, challenging the old mare to argue further. When she did not get a reply, she said, "Ah know ya may not like it, but Ah'm happy wit' my choice. Now if ya'll excuse me, Granny, Ah have apples to buck." With that she turned to the west fields of Sweet Apple Acres, leaving her grandmother speechless behind her.
--==--
The moon hung high over the apple farm, making the orchards look like shadowy woodlands hiding away their sweet red fruit. Over in the carrot farm next door, Carrot Top was walking back to her home with her last harvest for the day. Luna's night seemed so peaceful, but inside Applejack's head was pure melancholy. She had worked hard today and she would sleep well tonight, that was for sure, but her maelstrom thoughts kept her at her windowsill, leaning with her forelegs crossed over the old wood and her chin rested on her hooves. She let out a sigh as she stared at the stars.
"Ma? Pa? Are ya'll there? Are ya'll watching me, listening?" She closed her eyes and slowly removed her brown Stetson and held it in her hooves. She stared blankly at the head ware as she continued to speak, "Granny says ya'll are always watchin' over us. Ah.. Ah'm lost. Ah'm lost on what Ah should do. Ah love this farm, and Ah also love Rainbow, yet those two things can't come together. Ah feel like Ah'm forced to make a choice between them, but Ah don' wanna. Ponies always say 'follow yer heart', but my heart is split right down the middle." She looked up at the sky, and she could feel her tears roll down her cheeks. "Ah need a sign, anything that tells me what t' do." When no response came, she buried her face into her hooves, dropping her hat out the window in the process, and she ignored the slight twinge of pain in her chest.
In her sobbing state, she never noticed the light sound of wings flapping slowly in the air, and barely recognized the feeling her her Stetson being placed back on top of her head. But, she sniffed and stopped sobbing when she felt a hoof stroke her mane, and the familiar tomcoltish whisper, "Hey, it's gonna be alright."
She slowly looked up at the source of the voice, finding a kind cyan face and loving rose eyes. "R.. Rainbow?" She stepped back from the window to let her marefriend in. The pegasus landed silently Applejack. "Rainbow Dash, what in the hay are you doing here? You know yer on thin ice with Granny!" She whispered, trying to sound harsh so her stubborn marefriend would understand the danger she's in, but could not keep the relief of her arrival from her voice. She stepped forward and wrapped a forehoof around Rainbow's neck in a tight embrace. The pegasus returned it with a kiss on the crying mare's cheek.
Rainbow finally stepped back to look at Applejack, and her coat and mane was washed in the white glow of the moon, making her vibrant colors seem like an angelic aura. Applejack had never seen her so beautiful in her life.
"I know," Rainbow said, "And I could care less right now. Big Mac told me what happened with you and Granny a few minutes ago. I'm just here to make sure you're alright after all of that." The pegasus gave her a quick once-over. "you look rough. Have you been feeling any pain in your chest?"
Applejack hesitated a few seconds before answering., "No, o' course not. Ah can handle stress, RD." She lied, which made her chest hurt even more. She was the Celestia damned Element of Honesty, and she was lying to the one she could tell anything. She knew Rainbow was asking because she herself had stress induced heart attacks, leading to multiple surgeries and the loss of her job. The thought of surgery scared Applejack, but the thought of letting Rainbow know she was causing half of it scared her even more. "Ah'm just shook up is all. Now ya need to get goin' before Granny shows up. Go on." She lightly nudged Rainbow to the window. When the pegasus was about to ask if she was sure, she placed a small kiss on her lips, silencing her winged lover. "I'm sure. Ah love ya, Rainbow."
"I love you too, A.J." With a last kiss, Rainbow flared her wings up and jumped from the window. Apple jack watched her fly up and soar through the clouds. Once Rainbow was out of sight, she flopped onto her bed and lay her Stetson on the pillow next to her head. She closed her eyes and sleep immediately took her, and once again she had her nightmares.