//------------------------------// // Chapter Four // Story: Who Is Twilight Sparkle? // by Running From Time //------------------------------// I shrieked and thrashed and bit. I yelled and squirmed and scratched. They would not stop me. They could not stop me. I would not stop until I was free. They cannot keep me subdued. They will not keep me subdued. I freed myself. I ran. They followed. I ran faster. They ran faster. I escaped. They lost me. I returned. They did not keep me subdued. They could not stop me. I am too good for them. I am too smart for them. That is why none of them are smart enough to know the truth. The light of Celestia's morning sun blinded me. I awoke from a terrible nightmare with a lump in my throat. My face felt dry, and my eyes stung. I pulled a pillow over my head. I looked over at Spike's tiny bed, which sat next to my own. It was empty. I guessed he was already up, perhaps getting a head start on his chores. Or goofing around. I closed my eyes shut and turned on my other side. He and I weren't angry at each other, although I was upset at first. There were a few instances where I attempted to ask what he was hiding, but he only replied that he had promised to never tell me. Any other times I attempted to ask, he either changed the topic or pretended he didn't hear it. I eventually gave up asking Spike, although I did try to ask others. Rarity and Rainbow Dash pretended not to know, while Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie told me the same as Spike; they swore to not tell me. Therefore, I wouldn't get the answer I wanted. I tried to find the letters that weren't recorded, but it appears as if Spike had hidden them somewhere. Or maybe they never existed. The delectable smell of baked apple reached my nose, and I willed myself to once again open my eyes. Spike walked up to my bed. "C'mon Twilight, up and at 'em! I made baked apples for breakfast! They're Applejack's best apples!" Spike yelled practically in my ear. I got out of bed. I did have to admit, I did like baked apples. I walked into the kitchen, and levitated a plate to a table. I took a fork and began to eat. I was met immediately with a very wonderful taste. "Spike, these are amazing!" I shouted, amazed at his skill. I suppose by now I should not be surprised at his cooking skills, but still, these were delicious. Spike lifted his head and but his fists on his hips in pride. "I got the special recipe from Applejack. Applejack gave it to me when I bought some apples, which she made sure were the best, and told me to write down how to make these apple perfect. She wanted me to make it special just for you, Twilight," Spike told me. I gobbled up the delicious treat, and then wiped off remaining apple bits with a napkin. "Thank you for making the food for me. It was very delicious." I lifted the plates and silverware into the sink. "I should probably go wash off my face and brush my hair and teeth well." My hair, like usual, had the same bedhead I wake up with a lot. I wonder, did I always sleep like this? I splashed water in my face. Maybe it's only when I sleep when thinking a lot. I suppose those odd dreams I have every once in a while contribute towards my bedhead. I picked up the brushed and pulled it through my knotted hair, wincing at the slight pull. What are those dreams about, anyway? Maybe I should start recording these odd dreams. The one last night was the fourth, though. Do I really remember the other three? I grunted as I brushed through a very resistant knot. Well, I know that the first two were when I was in the hospital, and the third was a week ago... They were about... something to do with dying. Yes. Wait, that is kind of weird. Well, the first one, I am pretty sure, was about me falling. I don't think it was anything other than that. The second one was about looking down off a very high cliff with the intention of jumping. I slid the brush through my hair a few times more to make sure it was good. As I put the brush away, I took out toothpaste and my new toothbrush. I got it a week ago when I got Spike a new one. I had to do that because I did not know which toothbrush was mine, and Spike forgot to tell me which one was his. Therefore resulting in getting two new toothbrushes. I squirted a pea sized bit of toothpaste onto the toothbrush, and started brushing my teeth. The third dream was about catching on fire. Wait, no, it was about sitting in front of a fire, thinking about setting myself on fire. And the dream last night, the fourth, was about escaping from something. I don't really remember who it was. I do not even know if I saw their faces, or their features. Were they ponies? Were they dragons? Were they Changelings? What were they? It seems as if these dreams meant something. But what? Are they in an order of sorts? I spit out the toothpaste and cleaned off my toothbrush before putting it where it belonged. I wiped off my face, and once again splashed my face to clean off the toothpaste. Maybe the dreams are going backwards. Say, didn't I fall and hit my head when I got amnesia? Maybe these dreams are from before I hit my head. But that means... I tried to commit suicide. Why would I do that? I walked out of the bathroom, and into the library. These dreams are only bits and pieces. They are like puzzle pieces, with the majority of the box missing. It doesn't make sense. Why did I do that? If these dreams were reality, and what I thought then were my actual thoughts, then... I might have been crazy. How crazy was I? Did whatever than was trying to hold me down drive me mad? This is not enough! I need to know more! But how? Spike walked into the library, and began dusting off the books. I noticed he was dusting off a spellbook. Wait, that's it! I have no idea why I never thought of this before. I lifted the book out of the shelf, carefully avoiding Spike so that he did not fall. He fell anyway, but it was only about one foot off the ground, so he was fine. He got up, and glared at me. "Twilight! What was that for?!" he yelled with anger. "Sorry, Spike, I just wanted to get this book," I commented as I flipped open the book to the back, where the index was, and looked down the columns for what I searched for. "What for?" Spike moved towards me with curiosity. "Are you going to try to relearn a spell you haven't yet?" "Yes." "Well, what is it?" "A memory spell." I traced down when I finally found it. "Aha!" I flipped to page 251, where the memory spell held its place. "No no no! You can't do that!" Spike took the book into his own hands and closed it. "Why in Equestria not?" Spike got that nervous look he gets when he is hiding something. "Well... You're not allowed to regain your memory by spell. You have to do it naturally." Spike stood up straight. "Again, why not?" I asked again, with more than a hint of annoyance. "Because... well... Princess Celestia said so!" "Why?" Spike sighed and slouched. "I... I don't know. I would tell you if I could, but she didn't tell me why." I cocked my eyebrows. I was still suspicious. "Well, I only want a little bit so that I can understand something. I won't restore it all." I grabbed the book and once again flipped to page 251, but Spike just snatched the book again. "Ask me. You don't need to waste your magic." I once again grabbed the book and went through the pages. "I don't think you would know." He took it back. "I've lived with you ever since you hatched me, when you were ten. What makes you think I don't know you now?" I grabbed it from him. "Do you know everything and anything about my daily life?" He took it back. "No, because that's creepy. But if it's important, I probably know it." We kind of had a tug-of-war here, both of us thrying to get the book. "Do you really? Do you know my latest discovery in magic?" "Yes. You relearned how to teleport over short distances two days ago." "Do you know my latest discovery in magic before I got amnesia?" He suddenly stopped trying to get the book for himself, and it was mine. "Yes! It's mine!" I flipped through the pages again. I looked at Spike smugly, but then saw that he was in shock. What, don't look at me! I didn't use my magic on him, only to retrieve the book! I put down the book. "Spike?" I poked him in the shoulder. He recovered. "What? Oh. Yeah. Um... I don't remember." He picked up the book. I didn't try to stop him, still baffled by his reaction. "You can't have this, and I'm sorry, but I will have to take this." He walked up the stairs with the book, most likely going to hide it from me. Was that where everything else was hidden? I guess I don't really have any choice in this matter. However, one question still remained in my head. Why?