//------------------------------// // 1st, One Month After Death // Story: Letters From the Path of Loss // by Tavi n Scratch //------------------------------// My Dearest Rainbow Dash, It has been one month since your passing. Princess Celestia recommended that I write you a letter whenever I feel saddened or whenever I miss you. And that is the case right now, I miss you more than mere words can say, my heart longs to be with you once more. The days we spent together will always be the greatest days of my life. I still have trouble believing you are gone, which shows that I am currently in the denial stage of grief. I apologize if I come off as cynical, it seems to be my only defense against the sorrow and the tears. I’ve never really been much of a crier, always attempting to keep my chin up and hide my emotions inside. But in this span of time, I have really let go. I haven’t really been the same this past month, so a change of pace, in the form of writing this letter, is welcome. What I would not give to have you here again, to have you wrap me in your soft wing, to have you smile that wondrous smile, to be with you once more. I love you Rainbow Dash, and the fact that you are no longer here changes this fact none. Nothing could ever lessen the love I have for you. Only time can heal the wounds of losing you. I’m grateful to have had you in my life, and I hope that we can one day meet again and we can simply be together once more. It still is difficult for me to get around, this emotional blow has left me quite weak. Please don’t be disappointed, I will try to get out more, I will try to be happy again, because that’s what you want. Whenever I was stressed or down for any reason, you were there, offering a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, and a voice of reason. You always hated to see me frown, and your love was always there to make me feel better. I am very grateful that we were able to have the wedding before all of this happened, grateful to have been bound to you for eternity. This reassurance often helps when I feel down. I still remember the ceremony clear as day, each detail is vividly imprinted into my memory. I remember how dazzling you looked in your gown that Rarity had designed for you, I remember your grin as we exchanged vows, I remember the joy and love I felt as we kissed. I even remember how you stuffed some of the cake in my face, how I felt angry for only the shortest of moments, then we both burst into laughter. I was never able to stay angry at you. But remembering is not always such a grand thing, sometimes it hurts too much. I remember how you woke up coughing, but you tried your hardest to convince me it was nothing and shrug it off. I remember how you were adamant against going to the doctor, how you insisted you were fine. I remember how I believed you. If only I had been more forceful or acted sooner, you might still be here. I remember how you got sicker and sicker until you finally let me take you to the hospital, how the doctors quickly went to work doing their jobs, how they ran so many tests. I remember when I received the news. How one of them told me how sick you were. I remember being told you would not make it through the night. How a few hours later, a nurse walked up to me and put a hoof on my shoulder, silently shaking her head. I remember how I fell apart. Losing you hurt more than anything else ever had in my life. I thought I had known the meaning of sadness. I was naive. But I am glad I was able to spend all the time that I possibly could have with you. The other day I fell asleep in the shade of the branches of a willow tree in the palace gardens, it was just like our tree, and I had the most wondrous of dreams, though I do believe I’ll save that for another letter. I have been plagued with awful nightmares ever since I have been sleeping alone, but this dream was beautiful. I do find all of this rather odd, I am writing a letter to my deceased wife, knowing very well that she’ll never receive it, that she will be unable to reply. And yet somehow I feel much better than I did when I first sat down to write this. I guess even now you are still able to console me. And for that I thank you. I suppose Celestia was right, this has seemed to help me. I look forward to writing to you more often. It would be amazing if you could write back, but I’m just dreaming out loud. I miss you more than I could ever possibly express in writing, I wish only to have one more day with you; you were taken from me all too fast. I need only to say goodbye, to hold you once more. One last day to have closure, you deserved a better farewell than words spoken to your lifeless body in a cold hospital room. No matter how separated we seem, we will always have one another in our hearts and in our minds. Even the veil of death cannot separate us, although I must admit that I say this more for my own comfort rather than yours. I will always love you, and I pray that you will always feel the same towards me. Your companion, friend, and wife, Miss Twilight Dash