//------------------------------//
// Boredom 
// Story: Discord's Final Wish 
// by BaleonRosen 
//------------------------------//

“Once again I am bored,” sighed Discord, scratching absent-mindedly at his chin. He sat upon his self-made throne, protruding from the stone floor of his cave.

There was no-one around to talk to, so why he decided to say that out loud, he didn’t know. 
“It’s probably because I wish someone could hear me,” he said.

Stretching his legs and arms he walked towards the ‘window’ he had made in his mountain cave. In reality, it was just a hole that had been made during one of his experiments, one that involved fire and different kinds of explosive materials, but he couldn’t be bothered to fix it. He had simply covered it with a bit of cloth to keep the sunlight out.
“It adds a little bit more chaos to the room,” he said, though no-one was there to hear his statement.

The spirit sat back down on his throne of stones and yawned. Closing his eyes, he started to think of the last time he had fun. 


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It was many decades (or was it centuries?) ago, after being released from his stone imprisonment again. Those blasted ponies that held the Elements of Harmony had finally withered away or been otherwise dispatched, and Discord was once again free.

Discord started his chaotic overthrow of Equestria by changing the weather all over it, making it rain fire and making the sun’s rays cold. It had only lasted for two days, but it was long enough to drive a wedge between the pegasi and the unicorns. He laughed as the pegasi tried to move the clouds, only to burn themselves and blame the unicorns for some sort of magic. It was fun, watching the bickering that came from the ponies. The poor earth ponies had been caught in the middle of a diplomatic war between the pegasi and unicorns, each side blaming the other for their current plight. He listened with glee as the argued constantly, feeling more energised every day. He loved his new life of inciting chaos subtly with minimal changes to their way of life.

For nearly five years, Discord had managed to stay undetected, never changing too much at once. He decided to be more careful with his trickery this time, so he could avoid detection. There was no way he was going back in that stone, not after all the time he had spent there. By causing mischief slowly, he avoided the prying eyes of Luna and Celestia, those pathetic excuses for princesses that constantly searched for him. That was before his major blunder.

One day, while feeling particularly bored, Discord was trying to combine food with animals, so that he could make them scare the citizens of Equestria. While doing so, he accidentally used too much power and turned a nearby mountain into millions of tiny cheese wheels. This had not gone unnoticed, and before he could change it back, word had gotten to Canterlot. Guards patrolled everywhere, searching for him. Discord, being as mischievous as he was, continued to evade the search parties that scoured Equestria. There were many close calls, but he always seemed to get away just in time.

That was around the time Celestia and Luna had shown up and spoiled his fun, somehow reverting all the changes he had made to Equestria’s weather and landscape. Why they didn’t do it earlier Discord wouldn’t know. But he did know one thing for sure. That made him angry. So angry he went and confronted the princesses directly. Five years he had worked on his new world, and while that was but a speck in the life of an immortal, he still had an attachment to it. 

Confronting the sisters, while not the smartest thing to do, held an odd satisfaction for Discord. In just five measly years he had grown strong enough to fight the princesses directly. Even if he didn’t defeat them, contemplating his actions would keep him occupied during his next imprisonment. He flew towards Equestria’s capital atop a large cake with five bat wings, three lizard mouths and eleven cat eyes. This was a rough flight, as the hideous creation kept falling to one side, or spotting a stray bird and trying to chase it. Eventually Discord just tore the odd wing off (much to the creature’s dismay) and scolded it every time it went the wrong way. When they finally reached Canterlot, he turned the creature to dust, marking it as a failure on his mental check-list. There was chaotic, and there was just downright useless. As he blew away the dust, Luna and Celestia flew towards him, stopping some distance away in the air. 

“So you finally show yourself Discord,” Luna stated, her voice having softened since he had last heard it, “we thought you were behind this.” 
He couldn’t tell if she still had trouble speaking normally, or if she was referring to both sisters. He shrugged the thought away and decided to taunt the sisters. 
“Yes, I do. I’ve come to the realisation that you couldn’t defeat me now, not even with the Elements of Harmony,” he boldly claimed, using his own magic to float up to them. He didn't trust one of his creations to keep him aloft.
Celestia raised an eyebrow at the spirit. 
“What makes you so sure?” she asked, sceptical of his earlier claim.
Discord had them right where he wanted them. 
“Because I have spent these last years doing something useful, while you and your sister have been doing nothing but tolerate the petty arguments of your useless subjects.”
Discord knew provoking Celestia would be of no use, but he hoped Luna was still brash enough to strike without thinking. His hopes were answered when a large beam of magical energy shot from the younger sister’s horn and connected with Discord’s chest.

Discord laughed as he fell towards the ground, letting his body go limp as he collided with the earth. It had been a long time since he had felt pain, and it felt good, in an odd way. He guessed it was just a reminder that he was still alive after all the time he had spent imprisoned in stone. An odd thing for an immortal to think, but he went with it anyway, not worrying himself with details. He pushed himself up from the ground and dusted himself of, chuckling as he heard Celestia scold Luna. If he could make the rulers of Equestria quarrel, who could stop him when he did the same to regular citizens?

“After all this time, you still haven’t grown any stronger, Luna. I’m disappointed.” Discord hoped that the princess would take the bait he was throwing for her, but she didn’t acknowledge his statement. 
“Bah, you’re no fun!” He yelled, stretching. He wished he had slept before coming, because his limbs felt as heavy as lead. It was as if an outside power was making him sleepy. His eyes began to close and he snapped them open again, shaking his head.

“Stop that!” Discord demanded, glaring at Celestia. He had caught onto her little trick. There was a faint glow around her horn and he knew what she was doing. His arms started to grow heavier, and his legs began to weaken.
I will not be beaten yet, he said inwardly, and summoned several more hideous food-animal hybrids. There were hot-dogs with six turtle legs and three cat ears, giant apples that had the legs of a pony and the head of an alligator, even some of the useless cake beings that Discord had used earlier. 

“The first one to stop her using that spell will be the last one I destroy.” The food-beasts all ‘looked’ (as some didn’t have eyes) at one another, and the ones that could were nodding. It was a pretty enticing offer. But they immediately forgot the offer, not having brains and subsequently, memories. 
“They also get a free key-chain,” sighed Discord, hoping the beings would do what he asked. He was lying on the floor by now; unable to move his legs and arms. His eyes surveyed the sky and saw Luna laughing at his creations. He couldn’t really blame her. Most stumbled around and bumped into one another instead of attacking Celestia.

I can’t let her spell finish, he said to himself, I don’t want to be lectured without being able to cover my ears.
Surprisingly, one of the cake monsters had grabbed another creature (a small bird with five beaks and one eye on top of an apple pie head) and flew into Celestia while trying to escape with it. This action had shocked Celestia long enough for Discord to break free, teleport above her, and then fall on top of her wings. She let out a small shriek as they fell from the air and crashed onto the earth below.  Before Luna could help her sister, Discord had created a small ring in his claw and jammed it onto Celestia’s horn as hard as he could. Once he was satisfied it was on as tightly as it would go, he stepped back to watch Luna help her sister up. When Celestia was back on her hooves, she pointed her horn at Discord.

“I can’t let you continue hurting everybody Discord,” she said calmly.
Discord looked at her in confusion. “Everybody? Don’t you mean everypony?”
Luna shook her head and stepped forward, standing by her sister. 
“It was brought to our attention that those terms; everypony, anypony, nopony, etc. Were all very discriminative, so we had them changed.”
“About time,” snorted Discord, “I was tired of being excluded by your archaic terms.”
“Yes, we apologise for that,” said Luna sheepishly. 
He still couldn't tell who she was referring to.
“You know, if you two didn’t attack me all the time, we could have some great conversations.”

Celestia raised a hoof to her horn and tried pushing the ring off. It didn’t budge.
“I don’t think that you will be able to get that off,” snickered Discord.
Celestia’s calm composure was beginning to fray.
“Take it off Discord. I want my magic back.”
Luna looked shocked and began to speak, “It blocks your magic sister?”
Celestia nodded grimly. Discord laughed uncontrollably. 
“I can’t do that, Celestia. You see, I want you to promise that I won’t be trapped back in a stone prison again. I will not remove the ring until I have your word it won’t happen.”

Celestia stared at the ground, and Luna looked away sadly. 
“The Elements of Harmony are gone Discord,” she said solemnly, “they turned to dust as each of their bearers died.”
She was choking back tears at this point, and Discord almost felt sorry for her. Almost. 
“Twilight and her friends all died several years ago, and the Elements of Harmony were, somehow,  lost with them.”
She looked directly at Discord. He had never seen the princess so sad before. He wasn't sure he liked the way it made her look.
“They will never turn you to stone again.”

Discord smiled wickedly, forgetting his earlier discomfort, and jumped in the air with glee. He cheered as Luna held Celestia up with her wing. After calming down a bit, Discord walked over to the older sister and touched the ring with his claw. It disappeared as quickly as it had come and Discord stared into Celestia’s eyes.
“Goodbye Celestia,” he said, “I hope next time I cause mischief your little helpers don't use the elements to – oops. Too soon?”
He cackled and teleported away, leaving the sun princess to cry as her younger sister comforted her.

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