//------------------------------//
// Chapter 2: Welcome to... The God-Forsaken Hellhole! 
// Story: Diamond of the Capital Wasteland 
// by Speven Dillberg 
//------------------------------//

“Is that what I think it is?”
“If you think it’s a white unicorn, then yes.” Megan waited for Sheriff Lucas Simms to answer. When he nodded and stared at the creature in her arms in disbelief, she sighed. “Nice to know I haven’t gone crazy yet.”
“Just what do you plan on doing with that thing?” Simms asked, nodding at it.
“Take it back to my place, try and wake it up. Always wanted a pony,” the former vault dweller added, happily.
The sheriff sighed and brought a hand to his face. “Look, lady, I don’t care what you do with that thing, but it’s your responsibility. I will not have that... unicorn running around town.” From the black man’s tone it was immediately clear that he couldn’t believe he had just said that. 
“I’ll take care of it, I promise,” Megan said, hugging the limp form. Simms just let out an aggravated sigh and turned around.
“What’s his problem?” She looked at the still-unconscious unicorn in her arms. She looked again at its pristine white coat, its immaculately groomed purple mane and tail. “Do you already have an owner?” she asked quietly. “How can you be so clean?”
Deciding that these matters weren’t of any dire importance, the young woman made for her shack. After defusing the (rather primitive) bomb that Megaton was named for, the sheriff had decided to give her a house as a way of saying thanks. It was nothing compared to the Vault she had grown up in, but it was something.
“Welcome home, madam.” The Mister Handy that came with the home, Wadsworth, set her a little on edge. Something about it was just off. Andy, Vault 101’s Mister Handy, was very friendly, but something about this one just seemed strange, as though it was plotting to murder her in her sleep. Not that it could ever do such a thing, but... “How was your day?
“Hello, Wadsworth,” Megan replied, pushing those thoughts from her mind. “Got shot at, nearly died. The usual.” She looked off to the side, shocked with herself. “How is that normal?”
“No idea, madam,” the robotic butler replied drolly. “By the way, just what are you carrying?”
“A unicorn.”
There was a slight pause as the robot processed that. “A unicorn.”
“Yes, a unicorn.”
“Excuse me for asking, but just where did you find a unicorn, of all things?”
“Just... lying on the ground. No idea how it got there, though.” She made her way up the stairs and set the creature down on her bed. “I hope it wakes up soon.” She opened the small fridge and pulled out a bottle of Nuka-Cola. Just after she pulled off the cap she realised something quite important. “Ah crap, how am I meant to feed it?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!” Megan cringed at the sudden, high-pitched noise. “Where am I!?”
“I believe your guest has awoken,” Wadsworth said flatly.
“Did... did the unicorn just talk?” Megan asked quietly, unable to believe just what she was asking.
“Unless you brought another woman or feminine man home with you, yes.”





“That must’ve been scary.”
“Oh, you have no idea. Waking up on that filthy mattress in a hut made of scrap metal? Of course, what came right after was even worse.”





Rarity looked around the room in a panic. This was most certainly not her bedroom. Judging by the smell of the air, she wasn’t in Ponyville either. Had she been kidnapped? It certainly wasn’t out of the question, what with international tensions rising. 
She could hear voices from below. Wherever she was, she was on the second, perhaps third floor. She would use this to her advantage, but there wasn’t a window to escape from. The only way in or out was the door.
“Hey.” The mare turned sharply to the door. Someone female was trying to talk to her. “Are you okay?”
“I am most certainly am not!” she replied vehemently. “You’ve kidnapped me and are holding me hostage! I demand that you release me immediately!”
“Hostage?” the other voice sounded shocked. “No! No, I found you unconscious out in the Wastes. I brought you here for safety.”
“The Wastes?” Now Rarity was scared. She had never heard of such a place. “Where am I?”
“Um, my house in Megaton.”
“Megaton?”
“In the Capital Wasteland.”
“Capital... Wasteland?” she asked timidly, now on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.
There was a brief silence. “I’m going to open the door now,” the other voice said unevenly.
“Okay.” Rarity had no idea what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t what she saw.
“Umm...” Megan had no idea what to say. There was a talking unicorn in her bedroom. Ten years ago this would have made her so happy. Now, she was questioning her own sanity. The only thing that made things marginally better was that Wadsworth had heard her speak as well. “Hi?”
“H-hello,” Rarity stammered. What was that thing at the door? It’s face reminded her of those pictures of apes she had seen in her little sister’s school books. It was almost completely bald, except for some blonde hair on its head that went just past its neck. It had a flat face, blue eyes and a worried expression.
“I’m Megan. Do... do you have a name?” it... she asked.
“R-Rarity.”
“Well, nice to meet you, Rarity.” The creature stuck out a claw, causing the mare to back away in fear. “Handshake?” Megan asked carefully.
“Oh.” Rarity felt a little silly. She was just trying to be friendly. She hesitantly put her own hoof out, letting Megan grab it. She flinched when she felt the ape-thing touch her, but relaxed when she gripped lightly and made a shaking motion. “What are you?” she asked suddenly.
“I’m a human,” Megan answered.
“I’ve never met a human before,” Rarity replied, trying to keep the conversation mundane.
“And I’ve never met a unicorn, so that makes two of us.” The woman laughed nervously. “So...”
“Do you have something I could drink?” the mare asked.
“Oh.” The simple request caught Megan off-guard. “Um, sure.” She stuck a hand into one of the pouches of her vault suit and extracted a bottle. “Here.”
The unicorn took the bottle gladly in her magic and emptied it, some of it spilling out onto her coat. When she was done, she was treated to the sight of the human staring at her in shock. 
“How are you doing that?” she asked, pointing at the floating bottle in shock.
“It’s simple magic,” Rarity cautiously explained. “Every unicorn can do it.”
Megan stood there for a moment. “Holy shit! I found a magical talking unicorn!” she exclaimed happily before breaking out in high-pitched giggling.
“We’re all proud of you, madam,” came a metallic, strangely masculine voice from elsewhere.
Megan turned around with a frown. “Shut up, you steaming pile of scrap!” she yelled. “I can rip you apart, you know!”
“Oh, we both know you rely on me too much to even think of doing that,” Wadsworth replied smugly as he floated into view behind Megan.
Rarity’s hooves scrabbled as she pushed herself away, staring in horror. “What is that!?”





“What did it look like?”
“Basically, a ball with six legs, three longer ones closer to the bottom. The top three had smaller balls, which served as eyes.”
“How did it float?”
“Some kind of jet on the bottom.”





“That is my personal robot butler, Wadsworth,” Megan answered, worried by the pony’s reaction.
“Oh don’t worry, madam, I’m perfectly harmless,” Wadsworth said cheerfully to Rarity. “I exist to serve, after all.”
Rarity let out a nervous giggle and swallowed. “Please, do forgive my behaviour. You simply scared me.”
“Consider yourself forgiven, madam Rarity.” With that Wadsworth floated away.
After a few moments Rarity dusted herself off and cleared her throat. Megan rubbed the back of her neck nervously. “I guess you don’t have anywhere to stay...”
“No, I’m afraid not, and I left my purse at home,” the unicorn replied smartly. “I don’t suppose I could stay here?” she asked.
“I’ll have to scrounge up another mattress, but sure. Beats just having Wadsworth around,” she commented. “He scares me a little.”
“I heard that!” the robot replied.
“I don’t care!” Megan yelled back.
“Could you ask him to run a bath for me?” Rarity asked.
“A... a bath?” the human asked, staring at the mare. When she nodded, Megan burst out into laughter.





Explaining to Rarity that a bath was not going to be possible unless she wanted to become irradiated had not gone over well.
“You did not have to throw that bottle at my head.”
“Being far from home is one thing, but not being able to bathe?” Rarity shuddered. “This is the worst possible thing.” Megan decided to avoid mentioning that she was only going to get dirtier and dirtier. “Just how am I meant to keep myself clean?”
“You’re not the only one who has to adjust, y’know,” she muttered. “Until a week ago, I was able to have a shower every second day.” The woman frowned at a wall as she sat on the bed.
“And just what does irradiated mean?”
“Most of the water and pretty much all the food you’ll find is slightly poisonous.”
While the news was shocking, the casual indifference of the statement was perhaps worse. “P-p-poison!?” Rarity’s gaze turned to the now-empty bottle, which had just recently bounced off of Megan’s head. “You poisoned me!?”
“What? No! I gave you a bottle of the purified stuff, completely clean, I promise.”





“Everything you ate was poisonous?”
“You look fine to me.”
“Yes, well, they had some sort of medicine that was mass-produced before the war that turned the place into Tartarus on Earth.”





“Don’t expect to get much more, though, that stuff is expensive.” Megan stood up. “Well, no point sitting here doing nothing, may as well show you around town.”
“I’m perfectly fine sitting here doing nothing, thank you very much.” Rarity planted herself on the floor, doing an admirable job of ignoring the rust and dirt that was everywhere. 
“I promised to take you to the sheriff when you woke up,” the woman lied. “He wants to make sure you’re not going to be a threat.” That, at least, was the truth.
“Fine.” The pair exited the house slowly, Rarity doing her best to step carefully. Already her coat had lost some of its lustre, and her mane looked as though the colour was slowly being leached from it.
As they walked around the shanty town’s catwalks, Rarity did her best to ignore the stares. After a while, though, she couldn’t take it anymore. “I like attention as much as the next girl, but this is getting ridiculous.”
“You remember how I said I’ve never seen a unicorn before? Neither has anyone else,” Megan explained. “So, naturally, they’re a little curious. Get used to it,” she added.
“And it looks like most of them are wearing scraps,” the unicorn went on.
“Kind of because they are. You try finding decent clothing in a post-apocalytic shithole,” she said in response the mare’s horrified expression. “The best you’ll find is an old jumpsuit.”
“Like that horrible blue thing you’re wearing?”
“Hey, this thing has saved my life,” Megan replied angrily.
Rarity continued to look around. “They all seem so depressed.”
“I dunno, everyone I’ve run into seems okay with life. Ah, there he is. Sheriff!” Megan called out, waving to the man with the duster and cowboy hat standing just outside Craterside Supply.
“Ah, Megan,” Simms replied as he turned around. “Mind explaining just what that screaming was earlier?” he asked, barely glancing at the pony.
“Er, funny story.” Lucas stared at her flatly. “Sheriff, meet Rarity.”
“Really? That’s the name you gave it?” he asked, looking at the mare with something that could be called disinterest. “You couldn’t think of anything better?”
“Well, you’ll have to take it up with my parents, if you think my name is so ridiculous,” Rarity replied angrily. 
The black man did a double-take when he realised just what happened. “Did... did you just talk?”
“Yes, I did. I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but - ”
“Calm down! I don’t want you pissing off the sheriff,” Megan pleaded.
“Apologies, ma’am. You caught me off guard.” He cleared his throat before continuing. “The name’s Lucas Simms, sheriff and mayor of Megaton.”
“Rarity,” the mare replied with a curt nod.
They stood there in awkward silence for a moment. “Well, this was nice,” Megan said nervously. “I need to speak to Moira now.”