"I know you're out there," Twilight stated slyly, staring into his eyes despite his formless state.
"Right...uh...can I come in?" Alfonz replied with extreme hesitation. He had an obligation to return the favor Twilight had given him, but by the look of his surroundings, this was not at all how he intended it to be.
"Of course!" the unicorn responded with a smile, standing aside to allow him entry. Almost immediately after he entered, the door was shut behind him. A loud thunk of metal against wood echoed around him as he made his way inside.
She locked the door.
"Is that really necessary?" he almost pleaded, watching Twilight walk calmly over to him. She only continued to smile.
"I just don't want us to be disturbed, that's all."
"Yeah, right," Alfonz replied, clearly not buying her excuse.
"Well, I guess its time you got to work," she said coolly, flopping onto the couch on her stomach, her front hooves pointed forward and her rear hooves pointed behind.
"Let's set some ground rules first," Alfonz stated, keeping a safe distance from the mare. "First, this is a massage, nothing more. Second, I will not be touching any of your nether regions, no matter what you say or do. Got it?"
"That's fine," Twilight insisted, though he could sense a little disappointment in her tone. "Oh, I almost forgot!" she said suddenly, her horn glowing brightly as the strange sensation Alfonz had felt before returned. A moment later, he was back to normal, his body clearly visible beneath him.
A few silent moments passed as he eyed the sprawled mare before him. He didn't exactly trust her to keep her word, after what had happened before. But he really didn't have a choice now.
Alfonz moved over to the couch slowly, his hands gradually reaching out toward the unicorn, who was being quite patient. Eventually, his hands reached her warm body, squeezing and moving in a fairly gentle motion as he massaged the pony's shoulders and back. He made sure to keep the massage as casual as possible, whistling nonchalantly as he gently elbowed the unicorn's back down the center. He was clearly determined not to make it any more weirder than it already was.
Twilight, meanwhile, seemed to be enjoying his modest efforts far too much. Every so often she would let out a small wince, her eyes tightly shut in an exaggerated fashion. Occasionally a leg would twitch as he moved his hands across her back. Despite his attempts to make it casual, the unicorn's seemingly involuntary response to the massage seemed to be working in the opposite direction. The longer it progressed, the dirtier he felt.
After a particularly loud moan, Alfonz released the mare and took a step back, holding his hands out in front of him as if the limbs were contaminated.
"Well, looks like my work here is done, I hope you enjoyed it," he said swiftly, chuckling nervously as he turned toward the door.
"Done already?" Twilight moaned, lifting her head weakly from the couch.
"Yep, didn't say it would be an all day affair," he explained quickly, undoing the latch on the door. Suddenly, he felt his own weight disappear. Looking down, he found his body coated in sparkling purple energy, slowly lifting off the floor. Slowly but surely he was wafting away from the door, despite his manic attempts to reach out to it.
"Come on..." Twilight pleaded, rising into a sitting position. "Stay with me. I know you want to."
"No, really, I don't!" Alfonz insisted, grabbing hold of a nearby table as he passed. He only succeeded in bringing the table with him. The man began cursing frantically, though Twilight did not seem to care. Soon, he was placed onto the couch, a few inches away from where the unicorn sat. Her mane was messy now, as if she had just awoke from a night's slumber. She regarded him with eyes obscured by parts of her mane; hungry eyes, if not very relaxed ones.
Even after he was seated, the field around him did not relent. Both knew that, should it disappear, he would make a break for the door without a moment's hesitation. But so long as he was under the unicorn's magic, he would be at her mercy.
"Relax..." she cooed, rubbing her face against his shoulder. Alfonz's face was frozen in terror, staring down at her with wide eyes. "That massage just felt so good...hooves just can't do that kind've work..."
"I'm...glad...you...liked...it..." Alfonz murmured through his unmoving mouth, silently cursing various deities and the fates for his current predicament. "But...I thought...this...wasn't...part of...the deal..."
"Why do you have to be so difficult?" Twilight replied with a huff, pulling herself away from him. "Am...I not attractive?"
Unlike last time, her words appeared genuine.
"Different...species..." Alfonz growled, growing frustrated. He was slowly inching his way through the field, but his progress was much too slow to be of any real worth.
"I'm willing to look past that!" the unicorn insisted, mirroring Luna's response the night before.
"Bookcase!" Alfonz snarled. "Bookcase...bookcase...bookcase!" he threatened, managing to point a finger at the bookcase he had thrown Twilight into the day before.
Twilight's expression darkened, as if she were ready to cry. Suddenly, her sorrow was replaced with fury as she launched herself at the stricken man, pushing him against the arm of the couch.
"Take me, please!" she cried, briefly losing control of herself, including her magic. This was all Alfonz needed. Grasping her by the waist, he lifted her off him and stood up in the same motion, the unicorn held above him.
"Justice thy name is BOOKCASE!" he cried as he hurled the mare away. Being closer to the bookcase this time, he made sure not to throw her quite as hard as he did previously, but still hard enough to dislodge a number of books with the impact.
Twilight lay in a daze, partially covered by the fallen books, as she slowly regained her senses. Alfonz was not about to wait to see if she was alright, however. Bolting over to the door, he swung it open and darted into the streets, briefly losing himself in his panic, unable to realize the possible consequences of his actions. Almost immediately, the denizens of Ponyville took notice, as they had done when he first arrived. They followed after him, but not quite at the same pace. He was running full tilt, and had no intention of stopping.
Suddenly, he felt a pressure underneath his arms, and found himself not only racing ahead, but also soaring upward. Before he realized what had happened, he was many yards above the ground, apparently flying.
"Lemme help you out there!" a voice suggested behind him, prompting him to turn wildly to see who it was that had abducted him. As if he needed to see her to know; the voice alone told him it was Rainbow Dash.
"NO!" he cried, struggling frantically in the pegasus' grip, her hooves tucked under his arms. If he weren't so angry, he would've been impressed by the pony's strength; despite his struggling, she did not seem very much affected in her flight. "I know how this ends! Put me down!"
"Calm down, stranger!" Rainbow Dash insisted, clearly confused. "I'm just trying to do you a solid! You were being chased by a mob!"
"I don't care! Put me down god damn it!" Alfonz snarled, futilely struggling as the two raced off toward the pegasus' palace in the sky. How in the blue hell would he even stand on such a thing? And better yet, how would he escape?
Rainbow Dash did not seem to have any such concerns as they approached. The man wondered if he would simply fall through the clouds to his death. He almost welcomed the notion at this point. Much to his dismay, however, when the pegasus released him, he found solid footing on the cloud floor. Rainbow Dash landed a few feet away, giving a proud, impressive pose as she did.
"H-how?" Alfonz stammered, his arms out at his sides as if he were balancing on a tightrope. "How am I on...clouds?"
"Oh, I used a special type of cloud to build my house," the pegasus explained. "Makes it so my friends can visit without worrying about spells or wings. Pretty sweet, huh?"
"Yeah...sweet..." Alfonz murmured, slowly falling onto his backside with a soft poof of the clouds beneath him. Resting his arms on his knees, the man stared blankly at the clouds in front of him.
"Are you alright?" Rainbow Dash asked tentatively, craning her neck down to look at him in the eyes.
"Uh...yes..." he replied suddenly, snapping briefly back to reality. "Can I go back to the ground now?"
"What's the rush?" the pegasus replied casually, flexing her wings as she walked toward the entrance to her home. "You should check out the inside. Its even more impressive than the outside!"
"Please..." Alfonz pleaded lowly, falling to the side. He stared forward, blankly, pleadingly. "Ground...please ground...please..."
"Geez, what happened to you down there?" Rainbow Dash asked, taking a step back away from him after his display.
"Twilight...massage...magic...move...bookcase..." he murmured absently, as if he had lost all trace of sanity. "I just want to go back to the cottage..."
"Cottage?" the pegasus repeated, tapping her chin with a hoof. "Fluttershy's Cottage?"
Alfonz was about to confirm when he realized the implications of such a thing. Instead, he remained silent.
"Either way, I have the best place outside of Canterlot!" Rainbow declared, puffing out her chest proudly. "Even puts a lot of Canterlot houses to shame!"
"I'm going to kill something," Alfonz said absently, not moving from his position on the cloud floor. "Or myself. I'm still deciding."
"Come on, I'll give you the tour!" the pegasus insisted, taking the man's shirt collar in her powerful jaws before dragging him into the house proper.
If nothing else, he could say that Rainbow was not lying. Her house, even though it was designed for a pony and made out of clouds, was more than a little impressive. It was much more spacious than it appeared on the outside, and every window seemed to have an incredible view, either of the countryside or of Ponyville in the distance. Cascading waterfalls of liquid rainbows descended outside, casting a brilliant multicolored glow into various rooms when the sun was in the right position.
Of course, much to Alfonz's incoherent dismay, the final stop on the tour was the bedroom. Rainbow Dash released the man near the bed itself, where he lay, on his back, on the floor.
"So," the pegasus began, looking around the bedroom. "What do ya think?" she asked, her tone edged with sly intentions.
"A very nice house," he replied absently, his eyes still glued on the ceiling. "And no, I don't want to bone you. Ground please."
"I'm not sure I follow," Rainbow Dash responded. A spark of hope rose in Alfonz's chest before he realized the context. She was unfamiliar with the phrase, not the act.
"Just push me off the side of the clouds, please. I'll be fine."