//------------------------------// // To Here Knows When // Story: A Canterlot Divorce // by democritus //------------------------------// "Nuts, Ms. Sparkle?" asked a very confused Perna. "Nuts! This is all nuts! How did the perfect wedding descend into this? How did the beautiful bride and handsome groom become completely crazy and an abdicating asshole? How did two ponies I respect end up like this? How did she become so dependent on an asshole? How did he fall for that nasty Changeling queen? She poses as her fiance, tries to take over Equestria, hurts Celestia, goddammit how is any of that attractive?! "And if none of it's my fault, why does it hurt so much?" "Ms. Sparkle, at least take solace in that he probably won't find them," Perna replied, trying his best to be comforting. "We don't know from whence the Changelings came or where they were blasted to. None of the records in the library even hint at a homeland, though Shining Armor himself spent many nights trying to find them. Hah, to think it wasn't to find where our invaders came from, but to find and to make kissy faces at their queen. Simply abs-" Perna noticed some movement out of the corner of his eye. It was in the doorway. There shouldn't be movement there. "You there! This is a confidential conversation!" "Then, if I may say sir Perna, you should really close the door," said the voice. Twilight found it strangely familiar. "Jet Set you should really not be snooping around this section anyway!" Perna replied as he magically slammed the door. "Really, he's been poking his head where he shouldn't. I'm just hoping he'll get bored and leave or slip up so I can shut him away until he learns his lesson." "We had the door open?" asked Twilight. "This whole time? With all the things I just said? Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. This is bad, really bad, really really bad!" Twilight teleported out of the room without another word. "Ms. Sparkle! Wait! Dammit did things just get worse?" Perna asked no one in particular. "Pretty sure we're fucked," The yellow pegasus said. Disruption in the royal court. Discrediting the Sparkles. A single princess. Social mobility. Games. Political games. Games where the pieces were heartbroken ponies. Twilight knew deep down that she couldn't stop anything. Even if she intercepted Jet Set now, he'd just pass along the information and it'd invariably reach the right ears. She didn't care, she had to do something. Maybe she could, if nothing else, present the information in nice terms. So she ran to stop something. She reached Celestia's chambers, and just in time! There was no hint of anypony around! She stood, partly to catch her breath, and partly to stop anypony trying to reveal what Shining Armor has done. It only took a few moments of this for her to realize something. "Holy shit he wasn't coming here at all!" Twilight yelled to no one in particular. She started to run again, hoping it wasn't too late. "Sorry, sir, no one's allowed in, no exceptions." Said the guardpony. "Sir, I have very relevant information for Princess Cadance. She must be informed," Jet Set said. "Leave the message with me, sir, and I'll see that Princess Cadance gets it. Eventually." "I happen to know how your stock portfolio looks, which isn't hard given how much you brag about it," said Upper Crust. "Imagine how those companies would react to the top ponies in Canterlot rejecting them. Oh, I imagine the shock would be immediate and disastrous." "You wouldn't dare!" The guardpony gasped. "So, sir, may we come in?" Repeated Jet Set. "I uh... um... uh... I'm just going to go see about getting myself positioned somewhere else! I'll uh... j-just have to ask you don't g-go in right now!" The guardpony ran away, with tears in his eyes. He passed Twilight Sparkle, who couldn't beat the aristocrats to the one pony no one should be bothering. "Dear Princess Cadance, how is Your Majesty today?" Jet Set said to Cadance, who apparently hadn't moved since yesterday. "I'm your subject, Jet Set, and this is my wife, Upper Crust. I do believe we've met once or twice a—" "Oh how nice you're married! I'm married too, you know. Have you seen my fantastic better half today? He's really nice you know." "Cadance! Don't listen to them!" "We came to talk to you about just that, in fact, Your Majesty. You see he's—" "He's so wonderful and strong and courageous and well-endowed, I know, I know! I could stand to talk about him all day couldn't you?" "Stop it! Stop this!" "W-well, um, Your Majesty, we need to tell you something about him. You see, he's missing." "Oh he does that sometimes, I know sometimes ponies need time to themselves, but he'll come back. He'll come back to me. He will." "If I may, Your Majesty, I don't think that's the the case this time," said Jet Set, unable to contain his smirk. "You see, he's left..." "Stop! Shut up! Just... quit!" "...To go after the Changeling queen." Twilight finally forced herself into the room. "No Goddammit!" "Twilight, sister dear, is this... really the case?" Cadance asked. "I-I... I.." Twilight stammered helplessly. "I'm afraid so, Your Majesty," Upper Crust said. "He's gone to find this horrid Changeling because it is true love." "He told us as much in his letter," added Jet Set. "He's left Canterlot for good." "Then he... all this time he was... and we have... Twilight, please, be honest with me, is this true?" Cadance pleaded pitifully. "It's..." Twilight hung her head in resignation, letting a tear drop to the floor. "...true." "He... he... he..." stammered Cadance." He... he he he hehehehehehahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh of course I just spend months alone in a cave pining after a guy only to find out he likes evil creatures who drain his quintessence and threaten to take over my country! We got married in a fancy ceremony just after such was defeated. We consummated this marriage in Cape Ann, and for what? A funny show?" "Cadence?" Asked Twilight. Jet Set and Upper Crust had long since fled. "It was all a sham was it, Shining Armor?! Just because a bitch makes you feel good, that's all that counts?! Your mom is exhausting, your dad is a prick, and I would've put up with it for you! All for you! I gave you everything and what do you do with it!?" "Cadance, what are you doing?!" Twilight screamed. The princess seemed not to even notice her. Cadance's horn lit up with a glow too intense for Twilight's eyes. "You reject it! You trample it! You chew it up and spit it out! Why?!" A bolt of energy shot from her horn, taking out an exterior wall of the castle. The building shuddered under the force. "Why did you tell me you loved me if it was all a lie!?" Another bolt flew, taking out another wall. Ponies ran screaming in panic out of the compromised palace. "Why did you take my hoof in marriage if your heart wasn't in it!?" Cadance shot a hole in the ceiling with another bolt, and flew up through it. Twilight wanted to follow her, but knew it would be useless. Instead, she fled the castle. Cadance, flying above the palace, screamed loud enough for all of Equestria to be her audience. "Why did you tell me you'd be mine forever if it was only a month?! Why didn't you notice a heartless monster had replaced me, my knight in shining tinfoil!? Do I mean nothing to you?!" More bolts flew from Cadance's horn as they tore through the palace. "Was our love a lie? Were the kisses empty?! "WHY DID YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MADE LOVE?!" With this final cry a flurry of countless bolts flew from Cadance's horn, converging on the palace and exploding with intense light that enveloped all of Canterlot. When the light faded and the dust cleared, the princess was gone, as was the city. Canterlot lay in ruins, destroyed by a pony scorned. Twilight Sparkle sat on a jutting slab of rock, numbly staring at the rubble. She recognized her seat as her old bedroom wall. Princess Celestia flew down next to her. "Well, Twilight," Said the princess. "I should give you credit for guessing this one would be special. They don't usually end like... this." Twilight turned to her. "Just... just shove it Celestia. "I'm sorry, I just..." Twilight turned away to hide her tears, once again facing the rubble. "I was there for everything and I couldn't stop anything. I feel like there's something I should've done. And yet here we are." "What would you have done differently, my faithful student?" "I could've... I... just don't know. Something, anything!" "And would it have made things any different?" "...I doubt it. Might have stopped Canterlot from getting destroyed, but I couldn't do anything about the divorce. Even if some things were done differently, the root causes would remain. "But... it still hurts to know it's over for them. They seemed so happy during the wedding it's just awful to see it end like this," Twilight said, trying to stifle sobs. "That is the proof of your concern, and the proof that you care," Celestia said in a soothing tone. "You did everything you could, but sometimes you just need to know that sometimes ponies will put themselves into lose-lose situations, and when your involvement won't help anymore." "Then, can we help now?" "Of course, my faithful student. Could you step aside?" Celestia said. Twilight leaped off her rock, and stood next to her mentor. Celestia's magic lifted the rock, and numerous others, which started swirling in a small cyclone of stone. "What are you doing?" Twilight asked. "Picking up the pieces," Celestia repsonded, and the stones slowly landed, fitting together like jigsaw pieces until Twilight's old house stood as it once did. "Woah, I didn't know you could do that!" "Twilight, my faithful student, when you have a family as tumultuous as mine, it helps to know how to rebuild buildings," Celestia said with a slight giggle. For the first time in a while, Twilight shared it. "Now, let's go fix up that doughnut shop you like that much and have us some lunch." "Yes ma'am, Aunite Celly!" Twilight said with a giggle. "Can I still call you that?" "Well, the court date for the divorce was next Tuesday, so, sure, why not? Just... make sure no one else is around, alright?" The sky was beautiful today, too. The end.