//------------------------------// // The Grass Is Pinker... // Story: Apple Pie // by GauntletsofRai //------------------------------// Applejack opened her eyes, her head spinning. That was some dream she had. It's like she had ACTUALLY been Pinkie Pie! She looked closer and saw that she was sprawled on a hard wooden floor. She picked herself up on wobbly legs and rose to her full height. She turned her head and caught her reflection in the mirror. IT was no dream! She was ACTUALLY Pinkie Pie! Applejack felt the world slowly fade to black as her hooves gave way, and she embraced the darkness... Applejack opened her eyes, feeling a knot form on her head. When she reached up to touch it, instead of feeling her straight smooth hair, she felt a bush of wild curls. Her heart started racing as she looked at her hooves. On no, it DEFINITELY wasn't a dream. She picked herself up and turned to the mirror. Her heart caught dead in her chest as her vision began to reduce to blackened tunnels. She shook herself and quickened her resolve. NO, not again! Stay focused! Figure this out! She paced around on her still wobbly legs, not in the least bit over her shock. She stepped over dirty piles of clothes and kicked a pair of rainboots with one missing away from her path. She realized that Pinkie was nowhere near as strong as her in the legs department. That made her REALLY uncomfortable. Her strength was her most defining quality! Just above honesty on the qualities scale! She tried to steady her breathing as she thought out loud to herself. "Alright, think. Think, what happened here? Wait, Is that really my voice?" When she spoke, in place of her signature deep and smooth southern drawl was a high-pitched squeaking that was customary to Pinkie Pie. "Oh fantastic! Now I gotta' listen to THIS every time I open my mouth!" Honestly, Applejack had never had a problem with Pinkie's voice when it was coming out of HER mouth. Isn't it funny when things that don't bother you seem to REALLY bother you when you are the one doing them? The first thing for Applejack to decide was who could help her out. Of course, the first pony to pop into her head was her librarian friend, Twilight Sparkle. There were so many books in that library, one of them was bound to have the info she needed! Besides, stranger things had happened to Applejack and her friends before, this would be no sweat! Right? She really hoped so... * * Getting past the Cakes downstairs was somewhat easy. They had asked if anything was wrong, and if she was feeling okay. Applejack attributed that to her lack of bounciness that Pinkie usually displayed. So she assured them that everything was A-okay, and faked a huge toothy smile. It would seem that Pinkie was acting strange so frequently that it became a kind of norm for her to do so. Once she was out the door, she tried her best at skipping along like Pinkie, but failed miserably. It was harder than it looked! So she settled for trotting at a brisk and springy pace. She tried extremely hard to keep a smile on her face so that nopony would notice her being unusual. Every time she saw somepony walking towards her, she would flash them a huge smile until they were out of sight, where she would then deflate her face to a more comfortable position. Pinkie's face was a heck of a lot more used to smiling than hers was, but even so she had a hard time keeping it up for as long as she could. She rounded a corner after giving out at least eight more smiles and sighed with relief as she saw the leaves of "Books and Branches' sticking out over the rooftops. She quickened her pace and ducked out of a few ponies' ways. She crept up to the door and pushed it open, slipping inside. She crept along to the kitchen in the rear of the store, staying low. Pinkie's hooves were surprisingly quiet and easy to use for sneaking. She guessed that made sense, since Pinkie was notoriously sneaky. She could hear a frying pan sizzling and Twilight humming a tune. She hissed to get Twilight's attention. "*PST* Twilight! Over here!" Twilight looked back towards her and put the skillet of eggs on the counter. "Hey Pinkie! You need something? I was just making breakfast, want to join me?" Applejack trotted into the kitchen nervously and shook her head. "No time fer that! There's somthin' really weird goin' on!" Twilight cocked her head and stared at her. "Pinkie, why are you talking like that?" Applejack noticed that she was still talking in her southern accent, but in Pinkie's high-pitched voice. That was weird to hear. "I'm not Pinkie, I'm Applejack! Somethin' strange is happening and I need your help!" Twilight rolled her eyes and put the skillet back on the stove. "Very funny Pinkie. Nice Applejack impression. Is that all you wanted, or are you going to do Rarity next?" Applejack grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her around to face her. "This is not a joke, Twilight! I'm the REAL Applejack! You gotta help me out, I don't know what's goin' on!" Twilight gave her a calculating glance and wiggled free of her grasp. "Alright Pinkie, enough is enough. Don't you have to go to work or something?" Applejack looked at her in utter shock. She didn't believe it was really her! It felt like Twilight had bucked her right in the stomach. She walked to the front door with her head hung low. When she reached the threshold of the door, she perked up with remembrance. " *GASP* My birthday present!" She rocketed out the door and into the street. Looking back, she could see Twilight standing at the door watching her leave with a sad expression on her face. If Twilight wouldn't help, it looked like her next stop was the antiques shop. * * Applejack trotted up to the antiques shop on the far side of town. The shop stood right between the Post Office and the pumpkin carving shop, and had a large painted sign depicting a dusty ancient earthenware pot being dusted by a feather duster hanging in front. Wreathed around the sign were the words; "The Attic Chest - Antiques Bought and Sold." Applejack pushed open the door and walked inside. There was a bell hanging next to the door, but it had long since lost it's ringer and produced only a dull clanking sound when she opened the door. The interior of the shop was dark, musty, and smelled like moth balls. The dark wooden shelves were filled with all sorts of antique and priceless items from pieces of armor to ancient earthen pots. She could see a spot of white sticking up behind what would have looked like a counter had it not been covered in old scrolls and bits and pieces of antique whatnots. The white something had turned out to be a pony's flank. As she moved closer, she could see that the graphic on the sign outside was an exact copy of this pony's cutie mark. The pony seemed to not hear her enter, having been very involved in something behind the desk. Applejack saw a bell on the counter and abruptly tapped it. The loud ding of the bell broke the silent tension in the shop and sent the mare straight into the air with a startled scream. Applejack could see that the mare was fully white. Even her mane was a completely pure white with just a few thin stripes of faded pink. The pegasus mare clung to a support beam overhead, shaking violently. She looked at Applejack and squeaked out a few words. "Oh, h-hello." She floated down to the ground and stood on shaky legs. She looked around nervously as she talked to Applejack. "W-what can I d-do for you today?" Applejack mentally tried to repress her accent to sound more like Pinkie, which was no mean feat. "Hi! I bought a wooden carvin' thing in here a while back. Can you tell me more 'bout it?" The mare nodded, which was almost undetectable with her shaking, and pulled out a spiral-bound notebook. She donned a pair of wire-frame half-spectacles and went down one of the lists on the page, mumbling to herself. "Hmm, no... um... okay, here it is!" She tapped the page with a shaky hoof. "You b-bought the wooden c-carving with the 2nd era runic carvings, yes? Miss, Pinkie Pie, was it?" "Um, yeah, that's right! Um, I didn't get your name, did I?" "Oh, no. I'm I-Iridescence, pleasure to m-meet you again." She held out a a shaking hoof which Applejack took very lightly, afraid she might hurt the poor mare. Even with Pinkie's lesser strength, she looked quite fragile. "All I can r-really say is that the carving w-was very old. P-perhaps before L-Luna's fall even. I c-couldn't read most of the r-runes, but I know enough to r-recognize them as 2nd era futhark in origin. Whatever they s-said, it was f-for some kind of j-joint ritual, so d-don't touch anyp-pony else just to b-be safe." Applejack thought back to the day Pinkie had given her the object. She HAD accidentally touched Pinkie while she was holding the thing! But what could this mean? "Alright, thank you for yer' help! Hope to see you around Ponyville more often, Iridescence!" Iridescence nervously waved and shrunk back behind the counter as Applejack left the shop. Now was the time to think about what had happened. She said it was a "joint-ritual" or something like that. Applejack didn't normally like puzzles, but she was willing to solve this one if it meant getting her back into her own body. She started by using one of Twilight's techniques. Look at the information, and exclude the impossible. Well, for one,Applejack knew that somehow she looked like Pinkie. But if she LOOKED like Pinkie, then where was the real Pinkie? That couldn't be it because (A) She would have seen Pinkie by now, (B) If she only LOOKED like Pinkie, then why was she not as strong and her voice different? And (3) How could she have gotten from HER bed all the way to Pinkie's without even knowing it? Taking all of this into account, Applejack concluded that since she looked, felt, and sounded like Pinkie Pie, she HAD to be the real Pinkie Pie. But that would mean... Applejack stopped as her heart began to beat faster with realization. If she had been turned into Pinkie Pie, and Pinkie Pie was the only other pony to touch the carving, then Pinkie Pie had also been turned into Applejack! NOT good. Not good at all. Applejack looked around to find the clock that hung on town hall's face. The clock read half past eight. From what she knew, Pinkie didn't even get up until nine. Which meant that, if she had woken up in Applejack's bed like Applejack did in hers, she had to still be at the farm! Applejack raced off down the road towards the farm, but only got to the first turn before she bumped straight into Twilight. She was looking rather low for her usual self, and looked almost apologetic. "Pinkie, there you are! Look, I'm really sorry I snapped at you back there. You really do a great AJ impression, you just caught me before I had my breakfast. Are we still friends?" Applejack danced impatiently on her hooves. "Yeah, sure whatever! Bye!" She sped off down the road past a bewildered Twilight. WOW could Pinkie move or what? She had to be going faster than she ever did in her real body! Why hadn't Pinkie entered the Running of the Leaves last year? She would definitely have left everypony in the dust! She could already see the barn on top of the hill coming up through the apple trees... And it was on fire... * * *