Thweet Geniuth
Chapter 5 “Come On, Quiz, It Will Be Fun!”
“Five tick…” The pony at the train station’s ticket window had begun speaking in falsetto, then cleared their throat, and continued in a hoarse, effected baritone. “Five tickets to Manehattan, please. Round trip, tonight.”
The old stallion in the ticket booth just muttered something about how he had “been on the night shift way too long,” and with no further comment or reaction he handed Scootaloo her tickets and the change. If he heard the muffled cry, “Oww! You have your hoof in mah eye!” he ignored it.
When the ticket clerk turned back to his newspaper the five fillies ran for the passenger car and boarded the train. The last aboard was Apple Bloom, who waited for Scootaloo to jump off her back.
“I told you that would work,” said Scootaloo, struggling out of Big Macintosh’s raincoat. “Man, this thing is warm. And heavy.”
“At least you were in the part where you could breath,” grumbled Apple Bloom. “And speaking of heavy, Girl, you need to lose weight!”
“Oh, shut up, Apple Bloom! You’re just mad because my plan worked and your plan was stupid.”
“Was not! Mah plan would have worked just fine.”
“We’d have been stuck in a crate all the way to Manehattan,” said Sweetie Belle.
“And there’s a law against sending yourself through the mail,” said Dinky.
“Well, there’s also rules against unaccompanied minors,” said Apple Bloom, pouting.
Quiz did not join in the bickering. “Scootaloo, please come here so I may dispel your disguise,” she said.
“Oh, let her keep it, Quiz!” laughed Sweetie Belle. “I think it looks cute on her!”
“That’s all I need to hear,” said Scootaloo. “Quiz, please get this thing off of me.”
With a pop the mustache and goatee disappeared from Scootaloo’s face. “Thanks Quiz. And here’s your change. We really need to work out a way for us to pay you back the rest.”
“Think nothing of it,” said Quiz, slipping the coins into her bag. “My parents will be delighted that I spent some of my allowance for once, I so rarely withdraw more than the cost of a notebook from the bank. I hope mother will imagine I bought myself a gown, or some other pretty thing. With luck they will never discover how I actually spent the bits.”
“Quiz, what’s the matter?” asked Sweetie Belle. “We’re all excited, and you just sound sad.”
“I fear I am leading you all into trouble,” said Quiz. “I never wanted to do that.”
“Come, on, Quiz, this was my idea, remember?” said Scootaloo. “Cheer up. This could be the adventure of a lifetime!”
“Perhaps,” said Quiz.
The late night trains between Ponyville and Manehattan primarily carry mail and cargo; passengers are rare. The fillies had the one small passenger car to themselves. They chattered excitedly, plotting how they would break into Confectionery Coliseum, until they were interrupted by an outburst from Quiz.
“Darn,” muttered Quiz, peering into her saddle bag. “I have forgotten the map of Manehattan.”
This stopped everypony cold.
“Quiz…” gasped Apple Bloom. “You forgot something?!”
“Wasn’t it on your check list?” asked Dinky.
“I… may have been lax in my preparations,” said Quiz. “I only went over my check list once.”
“Oh, Quiz, you really are troubled!” cried Sweetie Belle. She moved to Quiz’s side, and put a leg across her friend’s shoulders. “Tell me what’s really bothering you.”
Quiz stiffened, but did not flinch at being touched as she once would have. She spoke softly, “I just do not understand why you are all here with me. Admit it, none of you truly believe my allegations against the Grand Chef and his producers.”
This was met with silence. Finally, Apple Bloom answered for them. “It ain’t like that, Quiz. Sure, what you say sounds crazy. Anypony would have their doubts. But if there’s one thing I don’t doubt, it’s you, Quiz. If you say there’s something fishy going on then I know there’s something fishy going on. So I’m in. We all are.”
The other fillies just nodded.
“Thank you, my friends,” said Quiz.
Sensing that the mood was getting hopelessly sappy, Scootaloo interrupted. “Quiz, it’s okay if you forgot the map, you can just summon it.”
“Of course,” said Quiz. A moment later there was a ‘pop’, and the map appear floating in front of her.
Quiz could not teleport herself, but she could teleport objects better than anypony. Whatever it was, if Quiz had a reasonably good idea of what it looked like and where it was, and if it was light enough for her to lift, Quiz could summon it to her side.
Spike and Owloicious had taken to playing tricks on her; deliberately miss-shelving the books Twilight asked for most often just to see what it would take to trip Quiz up. So far they had failed to fool her. If Quiz noticed what they were doing she kept it to herself.
However, one trick got Quiz every time.
“Quiz,” said Scootaloo, speaking very quickly, “Summon for me volume one of the Encyclopedia of Things That Never Were.”
“Certainly,” said Quiz, reacting without thinking. The requested book popped into the train car. Every pony laughed but Quiz.
Quiz, stood blinking, puzzled, but only for a moment. “Oh,” she said. “You did not actually want this book, did you, Scootaloo?”
“No, Quiz.” The laughter grew louder.
“You have ‘Got Me’ once again, then, Scootaloo?”
“Yes, Quiz.” Scootaloo could barely answer.
“I believe I will credit you with ‘A good one’ this time, Scootaloo,” said Quiz. You had to really know Quiz well to tell that she was smiling.
“Oh, dear,” said Quiz, as she sent the book back to its shelf. “I fear that, someday, Diamond Tiara will learn this trick, and I will find myself teleporting something embarrassing into the middle of Miss Cheerilee’s classroom.”
They laughed for miles.
#
Once they had all settled down Sweetie Belle began pulling black bundles out of her bag and passing them around. “I made these for us. I think I’m getting pretty good at sewing, now that somepony finally explained to me how to do it.”
“Wow!” exclaimed Scootaloo, holding her’s up. It was a black ninja suit, complete with hood. “This is so cool!”
“We’re going to be ninjas?” asked Dinky, slightly disappointed. “When you all kept calling this a ‘raid’ it sounded more like we’d be pirates. Pirates are more fun than ninjas.”
“Yeah, but ninjas are cooler!” answered Scootaloo.
The fillies wasted no time trying their suits on. All, but Quiz, who regarded her’s dubiously. “What is the purpose of this garment?” she asked.
“It will make you stealthy,” said Sweetie Belle. “So you can sneak around and hide in shadows…” She trailed off, suddenly realizing that this was Quiz she was talking too.
Quiz just stared at her.
“Oh,” said Sweetie Belle, obviously disappointed. “Never mind Quiz. Maybe you can wear it next Nightmare Night…”
“No, if you all are going to wear them, then I shall wear mine as well,” said Quiz. “We shall all have the same uniform tonight.”
Apparently, this called for a cheer.
“Cutiemark Crusaders Ninja Raid On Confectionery Coliseum Is A Go!”
Quiz did not let Sweetie Belle hear her mutter to herself, “If this fabric rustles and gives me away I shall be very cross.”
.
#
Anypony who peered into the darkest alleys between Dolly Square Station and Confectionery Coliseum might just make out four little ponies moving carefully through the night. They would certainly have heard them, as the girls stumbled into trash cans and bickered about which pony was making the most noise.
Now and then, a soft voice would call to them when they made a wrong turn. This, and the occasional rustle of fabric, was all that gave Quiz away.
Eventually, the mouth of an alley ended on a wide street. Though this was the City that Never Sleeps, at this hour the street was empty, as were the sidewalks in every direction. Across this quiet street towered Confectionery Coliseum.
“Now what do we do?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“We case the joint!” declared Scootaloo.
“We must circle the building, to see what doors may be unlocked, and to determine where the guards will be,” said Quiz.
“Like I said, we case the joint!” repeated Scootaloo.
The actual amphitheater of the Coliseum fronted on the office complex of “Food Equestria,” producers of cooking shows and contests across the nation. All of the doors they tried were locked. They noticed several guards patrolling around the building, and they thought they saw flashlights inside, passing by the windows. But only at one entrance were guards stationed.
While the fillies were watching several ponies arrived and were allowed inside by the guards. They all recognized Smarty Brickoven, host and judge of many Food Equestria productions, including the Grand Chef’s Candy Challenge. Sweetie Belle thought she recognized some other Food Equestria judges and presenters, but she wasn’t sure.
“See that, the guards just opened the door and let ‘em in,” said Apple Bloom. “That door ain’t locked.”
“So?” said Scootaloo. “It’s guarded, it doesn’t need to be locked.”
“A distraction might lead them away, but it would have to be something considerable to get the guards to leave their posts,” said Quiz.
“Naw, just a little thing would do it. Scoot’s fast, she could zip in while their backs are turned, then head down a corridor and unlock one of the other doors for the rest of us,” said Apple Bloom.
“This plan has merit,” said Quiz, nodding her head thoughtfully.
“Assuming Scootaloo doesn’t get lost inside the building,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Shut up!” was Scootaloo’s clever rebutal.
“I will cast an illusion to distract the guards…” began Quiz.
“Um… Quiz?” interrupted Sweetie Belle. “You can’t draw. All your illusions look like stick figures.”
“What of that?” asked Quiz, almost sounding indignant. “They will be distracting stick figures.”
“I don’t think we want the guards to know they're being distracted by a beginning magician,” said Scootaloo. “Now, I bet one of these buildings has a fire alarm…”
“That might be a bit more attention than we want,” warned Apple Bloom. “We should keep it simple. Maybe toss a trash can in the street.”
“If we merely wish them to turn their heads I fail to see why you will not allow me to cast a simple light effect…” began Quiz.
“Hay! What’s Dinky doing?!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.
While they were arguing nopony had noticed Dinky wriggle out of her ninja suit. She had tied her mane into two big, fluffy tails with long pink ribbons. The effect was disarming. A pony would have to be completely hard hearted to perceive Dinky as anything but innocent.
“Hay, Misters!” called Dinky, as she skipped across the street, right up to the guards. “Can you please do me a big favor?”
“Little Filly, you should not be out alone,” said a guard.
“It’s okay, my Mom’s just up the block. But I had to make this side trip real quick,” said Dinky. “Could you please take my picture in front of the Coliseum?”
“Picture?” asked the puzzled guard. “Look, it’s way past your bedtime…”
“Oh, we’ve been living in Canterberra for Dad’s work, and we only just came home,” lied Dinky. “It’s the middle of the day down there. We have all been keeping funny hours, and we’re still sleeping on Canterberra time.”
“Where’s ‘Canterberra’?” asked Scootaloo.
“It is far to the south and west,” answered Quiz. “I have been tutoring Dinky in geography. I am so very proud… of her.”
“Anyway,” Dinky continued, “My best friend down there was runner up at the Canterberra Fair candy contest. I promised her that I'd visit Confectionery Coliseum. But we leave for Fillydelphia tonight.”
Dinky nattered on, completely disarming the guards. They only needed to go to the corner, just 10 or 15 steps from their post, to get the picture. What harm could there be?
They took several pictures; first one of Dinky, then Dinky with one guard, then Dinky with the other guard, then a close up of the three of them, then more shots just in case some didn’t come out right, then a guard on patrol happened by and got into the act…
There was time to get all the fillies inside. They found another side door, and unlocked it to let Dinky in, but it seemed as if they had to wait forever for Dinky to finish playing with the guards.
“Seriously, you brought your camera?” asked Sweetie Belle.
Dinky shrugged. “I thought we would want something to remember tonight.”
“I don’t care, that was just awesome!” said Scootaloo, giving Dinky a high-hoof. “It is now official. Anypony who calls you 'Just a Little Tag-along' can shut up!”
“It was you who said that, Scoot,” pointed out Apple Bloom.
“Whatever!” grumbled Scootaloo. “Let’s just find the kitchen and measure it, already.”