//------------------------------// // Zircon, Zecora, and something that rhymes with that // Story: I am He as You are She as You are Me and We are All Rule 63'd // by CaptainSanchez //------------------------------// "The time has come. I must allow it to take control. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I have to do this. I must end it. I-- " WHO IN THREE HELLS ARE YOU, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY NARRATION ROOM? "OH SWEET SOLARIS, YOU'RE STILL ALIVE? I thought that it would've taken you out, like--" NOPONY TOUCHES MY NARRATION CONSOLE!! *due to the Author's desire to keep this story's rating, as well as get the word count up, we cannot show you what occurred, but do not wish to simply say "scene missing," despite the fact that that is indeed the case. We apologize for the inconvenience.* Well, that takes care of that usurper. Well, buck. Now it's too gooey in here for me to comfortably do a chapter. As long as you're here, want to help me clean up this mess? WHY NOT!? ... Oh. I forgot that you aren't physically here. Well, I'll just be a minute. Sorry about that. Alright, now. Let's get on with this. I am He as You are She as You are Me as We and We are All Rule 63'd Chapter Six? No, Chapter Seven: Zecora, Zircon, and Something that Rhymes with That Zecora arrived at the Librarium Discordia in shambles. Twilight, in a fit of indecisiveness, had renamed it again. As a result of this thoughtlessness, Zecora's Starry Stripes: Directions and Advise (patent pending) system had led her all the way through the Everfree forest, past the treacherous Gumpdrop Mountains, and halfway through Neigh Jersey before she realize that it was taking her to Manetreal. She then embarked on a treacherous five-month return trip. This wasn't too surprising, as she got lost quite frequently (in both rhyming and direction) without it. Believe you me, getting lost in the Gumdrop mountains for three months is no picnic. Well, except in the Picnic Fields, but it's still quite doom-worthy. Anyhoof, when Zecora arrived, she was too exhausted to knock, so she just decided to urinate on the door. Wait... what? Okay, seriously, Cap? What is wrong with you, dude? In typing that, you made it true, but I still don't remember it happe-- never mind. What? I don't care that we're not supposed to break the Fourth Wall. I, what? I AM ABOVE THE LAW!!! Okay, I crossed a line with that. No, Interactive Rainbow Dash, you're not an egghead. D'aaawww, she's sleeping. Wait, no she isn't. Good. I miss Pinkie. No, I did not just suggest that she dies in the end. Anyhoof... Twilght, hearing the distinctive trickle of a roadweary Zebra, sent Spike to get the door. Spike, upset that he had to leave a game of Twister, begrudgingly untangled himself from his female counterpart. He opened the door to see a very dazed version of the normally unflappable zebra he'd come to resist the desire to devour. Of course, having been unable to properly rhyme for five months had caused Zecora to constantly mutter the only tow words for which there were no rhymes. "Orange... silver... orange... orange... silver... orange..." muttered the now long-collapsed Zebraharan herbalist under her breath. Spike sighed, then began dragging the semi-concious hermit into the Library. Will the torture ever end? Twilight then mustered all of her magical strength in order pull Dusk out from Starswirl The Bearded: A Forgettable Master, so that they might cast the Spell. Dusk, true to his nature, was fighting and groaning every step of the way. He had only read this book twice, and couldn't bear the thought of having missed something. "Dusk, don't you want to complete our task for the Princess... uh, Prince... um... you get my point, right?" "But Twiley! Wait, we have company?" "Well, duh, bro!' Hearing this, Dusk leapt into the air, then over the staircase railing, dragging Twilight with him. The pair of lavender librarians landed loudly on the wooden floor of the tree-- er, Library-- er, Library made from a still-living tree with a very audible thump. On a related note, ever wonder if the tree feels pain when Twilight falls? I do. Quite often, in fact. Clockwork once told me that it did, but then he told me that it prefers to be called "Marianne," so I'm not sure if he was being serious or not. Anyhoof, I've gotten off-topic. Sorry about that. Happens a lot. The thump awoke Zecora, and she reflexively propelled herself upwards into the air. (That's a great many words for "she jumped at the sound," isn't it?) "ORANGE!" shouted the startled Zebraharan, "... Silver, Orange?" Due to their many years of heavy-duty reading, Twilight and Dusk realized that Zecora had shut off her guidance system, and used their joint magical prowess to remotely activate it. Hey, I'm not the one who likes to use such big words, he is!This snapped Zecora from her funk, allowing her to rhyme once more. "Thanks for the help, unicorns and dragon whelp," said she. "Think nothing of it, Zecora. Now, would you like to meet, uh..." Twilight then turned to her metaphorical brother, "Dusk, what's his name?" "Oh, Zircon. He's a real swell fella." "Right... so, Zecora, are you ready to meet Zircon?" At this, Zecora merely smiled, "But of course, child! I cannot wait to see somepony from the Zebrican wild." Each librarian raised their horn, already aglow, summoning a stallion that once earned scorn, through a blue light show. Out of the vortex came a wise colt, muttering, wheezing, then crashing with a jolt. "Oh, drat!" exclaimed Twilight. She turned her twin, then asked, "Dusk, did we do that?" "It would seem that my twin has been through quite a fright! He needs your help, my dear Twilight." "Ugh, fine, Zecora. shoulda killed you when I had the chance..." Twilight went to work on aiding Zircon. It was actually quite simple, but she still found it irritating. Seriously, she just had to remotely reactivate his Starry Stripes: Directions and Advise system, then dump a bucket of water on his head. Granted, she probably didn't have to drop the bucket on his head afterwards, but she was angry, so it seemed like a good idea. "Wha--? Oh, I see it's my turn, then. Huzzah. Tell me, dear striped mare, did I give you too great a scare?" Hearing this, Zecora went a little weak in the knees. Zircon's voice is smooth and sweet. Just the kind to knock me onto my seat. Zecora thought this, then realized she must look ditzy. Standing on her now-jellyish legs, Zecora put on a brave face. "Hello, Zircon, Zecora is my name. It's good to see another Zebraharan, especially one so tame." Zircon's reaction to his double's voice was the same as hers to his. Zecora was pleased to see this swooning stallion. "Zecora, would you mind explaining?" asked Twilight. "Yeah, Zircon, I just don't understand all of this fainting!" Zecora and Zircon shared a glance. They then gazed at the astonished librarians. "Dusk, surely you heard?" asked Zircon, dumbfoundedly. "That stallion's voice is simply superb!" Zecora exclaimed with glee. Dusk and Twi shared a look. They suddenly remembered something that they once read in a Zebra book. You see, Zebras talk in rhyme to (among other things) attract a mate. The Librarians gulped. Both were terrified of what might if Zircon and Zecora made with the intercourse. With grim determination (and just a little bit of frenzied panic), the purple unicorns reopened the vortex, and sent Zircon through it. Then, to avoid reciprocation, Twilight teleported Zecora back to her little hut. The fervor with which they did these things would prove to be their undoing. See you next time, for the last time in: Chapter Eight: How Reality Died