It was oddly silent in their little, dinky, musty basement. To think I’d actually miss that gryphon’s brash personality or even that useless unicorn’s loud mouth. They were annoying enough to make me want to kill myself, but it was better than sitting here with nothing to do. There weren’t even any drinks left for me to indulge in. Stupid companions! How dare they leave me alone.
“As long as I’m around, you’re never alone.”
Correction, how dare they leave me alone with a sociopath.
“You say that as though you’re not a sociopath yourself.”
“Shut up,” I growled into the oppressive silence. “We art nothing like you.”
“Is that so?” Her silhouette appeared before me and I scrambled back, trying to get away from it. “And yet, I seem to recall a certain little filly blackmailing Gilda into joining her expedition, which might I add, was pulled off with exquisite skill. Really went all out on the tyrant and fish out of temporal water didn’t you?”
“S-Silence!” My blast of magic sailed harmlessly through her. “Dost thou truly believe we shalt fall for thy tricks? We fell for such words once, and we swore an oath to never let thy serpentine tongue affect me again.”
“Really?” Nightmare took a step forward and I flinched back as though struck. “You really are deluded aren’t you? We are not so dissimilar, you and I. Thou art I and I art thou. I was born from your subconscious, given shape through your desires and wishes. I do what you are too afraid to do. I am what you repress and hide from everypony, all that fear and sadness and anger and wrath.”
“Silence! Thou lies will not cloud us any more! We are not the same and we shalt never be the same. Thou art a sociopath, a monster, a creature so vile that being locked in Tartarus would be a blessing.” Though the entire room buckled under my magical might, Nightmare stood there as calm as always.
“You do not remember do you?” Her sad whisper gave me pause. “Aurora... thou dost not remember Aurora. Our precious Aurora...”
“Who?” I tilted my head to the side, but Nightmare was simply dissolved into nothingness. “A-Aurora? Who is this ‘Aurora’ thou speak'st of?”
Silence.
“Answer us!”
The entire ground shook from the sudden discharge or magic, but all was silent. Nary a creak as the dust rained down upon me. I managed to stand on my own two hooves for a split second before I collapsed once more. Every fiber of my being screamed out at me, but I ignored it all as I rearranged myself into a more comfortable position. Was this what it felt like to be mortal? To have such limited powers? A little explosion and my font was completely drained of magic. How pathetically weak.
“Hey! What is the meaning of that? How dare you cut of Trixie’s luxurious tail!” Oh, they were back. “Just because you are jealous of Trixie’s natural beauty.”
“That thing almost cut us in half, and you’re worried about your tail? Priorities Trix. You don’t have them.”
“What did you expect from that idiot?” I glared at the two of them. “And what kept you two so long?”
“You’re calling her an idiot when your plan to save Equestria was starting a war with the Gryphon Kingdom?” Gilda smirked. “At least Trixie can actually hold a conversation; you don’t even get half the phrases anyone uses.”
“Truth be told, We are surprised that you did not run for the nearest border,” I shot back. “No doubt the thought has crossed thy mind.”
“Nah. Those were the Red Tip mountain ranges. We were days from any kind of civilization, and at least a month from the Equestrian border. Aviana’s closer to the border anyway,” replied Gilda.
“So thou did consider it.” I sighed. “To think citizens of Equestria would turn their back on their nation so easily.”
“You’re not my nation. A nation is its populace, not its leader. Plus, you’re not even the leader of Equestria.” She paused and added, “I’m so fuckin-”
Trixie touched Gilda’s arm and shook her head slightly. For a split second, it looked as though Gilda was about to finish her sentence, but in the end she simply sighed.
“Whatever,” she muttered. “I didn’t pick that fight, she just can’t deal with it when I don’t take her shit.”
Curious and curiouser. There was something that I had not been privy too. A discussion of some sort. Perhaps... Nay, that was too improbable to even be a possibility. Nonetheless, it was a change in their interaction, and that required me to monitor it closely. Such changes often threw wrenches in plans, I believe the modern saying is.
“If thou art done, we must discuss what happens next.” I tapped the map before me. “We require thy assistance. With the number of changes both topographically and naming, it hath been less than fruitful.”
“Firstly, no duh dumbass. Do you even know where you want to go? Secondly, why the fuck would I help you? I just want to take Trixie and go home, and that has shit all to do with chasing up whatever half formed idea Nightmare dragged from Teotore’s head.”
“There are more of those creatures and test chambers.” I tossed a pile of notes onto the desk. “The Wide Eyes have changed their code, but We managed to decode enough of it to get that much. Why is another question entirely, but we must stop them.”
Gilda snorted, but her eyes darted to the notes. “I spent half my life avoiding the Wide Eyes. Why the heck would I go chasing them with you?”
“Thou desires monsters to roam the countryside at will?” My hoof slammed down on the table, splintering it in half. “We locked those creatures up in Tartarus for a reason!”
Pause.
“Oh. Buck,” I whispered.
“Tartarus?” Gilda repeated. “Tartarus? As in... the pit of eternal evil that I use as fucking curse...? I think you might have to explain some shit now. Particularly, what in the flying fuck has Tartarus got to do with this?”
I tried to back up, but Trixie managed to catch me with her magic, and thanks to Nightmare, I had none left to break the bonds. Nonetheless, I struggled against them, trying to forget about the familiar feeling of a collar around my neck, but there was nothing I could do. The two of them merely stood there dispassionately as they stared me down. There was no way to get out of this without telling them what I knew or waiting for a day at least for my magic to recharge.
Gilda’s claw covered her knife. “Trix, I know you don’t like blood, but... I could get her to talk if you’re okay with it.”
“No.” The unicorn looked up and whispered something that I couldn’t quite catch.
After a second Gilda sighed and took her claw from her knife. “We might have to, I mean... Tartarus, Trix? That’s something we need to know about if it’s involved.”
I simply kept watching under a hooded gaze.
“We need to know,” agreed Trixie, “but not like this. We will not stoop to such levels. Plus, the Great and Powerful Trixie’s aura is enough to scare the truth out of her.”
Gilda snorted. “Luna, tell us what this has to do with Tartarus, or with or without Trixie’s permission, I’m gonna hurt you so fucking bad that you’re gonna regret being immortal.” Her eyes were hard, and I was very aware she was not lying. She glanced over at the unicorn. “Sorry Trix, but this is one of those things that I put on the keeping you safe list.”
Are they idiots? Whatever.
“If thou art done, We would gladly explain.” Their surprised look only made me smirk. “We do not remember everything, but Tartarus did not always exist. Some time before our banishment, monsters began appearing and so We buried the entire valley and created a powerful enchantment to keep it all at bay. That location now lies deep beneath the Nightmare Plains.”
Gilda and Trixie stared at me, their faces somewhere between shock and incomprehension.
After a while, Gilda spoke. “Well, I don’t know about you Trix, but if that’s true... I say we get the fuck back to Equestria right now. Like... right now, now...”
“If what she said is true, what happens if they decide to use it as a weapon?” said Trixie and my eyes widened. Of course! They hadn’t figured out how to get the magic, but as a weapon? It would be second to none. Oblivious to my reaction, Trixie continued on, “If they deployed it in Equestria, the outfall would be catastrophic.”
“What?” Gilda turned to stare at Trixie. “No! Don’t tell me you’re thinking of getting us anymore caught up in this crap!’
“Equestria is my home you know...”
Gilda shook her head. “Look, there’s no way in... Tartarus...” She frowned and shook her head. “Whatever! There’s no way the Wide Eyes would set that off in Equestria. Our countries are allies, and the Kingdom’s economy is pretty much entirely based off Equestrian imports and trade cuts. That’s the way it’s been for years, Equestria bails out the Kingdom’s fucking awful economy, and the Kingdom fucks up anyone that thinks of invading Equestria. If the Wide Eyes were to go and attack Equestria, they’d get nothing out of it. I mean, the entire Kingdom’s dependent on Equestria. Like half the Wide Eye's job is keeping Equestria safe!”
Trixie continued to look troubled, but nodded slowly. “Trixie supposes that if any gryphon would know, it would be you. But what Trixie really wants to know is what else you are hiding from us, Luna.” Her gaze drifted to me. “You know about the experiments, but how do you even know about how it’s related to Tartarus? Well?”
“Trix has a point. Back in the temple, Nightmare seemed to think you knew more than she did. Plus, you’re dodgy as fuck and I don’t need any more reason to doubt you than I already do.”
I gave them my most reassuring smile, but that only caused their glares to deepen and for them to step forward. Oh dear, this was not going to end well.
“Well... Nightmare Moon is responsible for the experiments and they may have led to the formation of her army and Tartarus and...” I made circular motions with my hoof.
“What!? I did not such thing!”
Gilda stared at me, her face set in a frown. “Luna, blaming Nightmare sounds kinda easy to me. I mean, if Nightmare’s responsible, why bother keeping it a secret?”
“We are already marginalized as is. If it were known that Tartarus was real and that Nightmare Moon created it, that would transfer to us,” I snapped. “We would rather not be ostracized any further.”
Gilda shrugged. “...Well, to be honest I don’t give a fuck either way. Whether you’re full of crap or not, I just want out. I mean, I can just ask Nightmare next time she gets out, and she’d probably just tell me. I doubt she’s worried about ruining your reputation.”
“Trixie will have you know a reputation is an important thing,” commented the unicorn. “Important enough to protect zealously.”
“Alright whatever. I just don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. Look, it doesn’t matter. When it turns out Tartarus is real and I’m sharing a room with the pony that made it, then fuck it. I’m bailing.”
Trixie opened her mouth to say something, only to immediately shut it again. “How about a compromise? We go with her to check out this secret lab and if it is not directed at Equestria, we leave again.”
“And what if Nightmare gets loose and kills everything in sight? I mean, if she knows we’re just gonna ditch anyway, she might decide witnesses are something she doesn’t need. I mean, yeah I cut Luna’s spine, but I’m not too proud to call that a one off. If Nightmare came after me, I’d be fucked.”
“You did what?” Trixie seemed oddly calm about this. “Why is Trixie not surprised about that?”
Gilda replied defensively. “Hey, she was strangling me! You can’t seriously blame me for that can you?”
“I just did,” snapped Trixie. “You severed her spine!”
“Look at her, she’s fine.” Gilda pointed at me. “Other than being a filly and magically drained she’s the picture of health.”
“You still severed her spine! What kind of normal gryphon severs spines in their free time? Let me guess, you were drunk at the time.” She paused as Gilda tried to give her best innocent expression. “You were. You were bucking drunk.”
“Half drunk. I only got full drunk after I won the fight.”
“You were drunk,” said Trixie disbelieving as she facehoofed. “Why did I agree to trust you again? Trixie needs a drink.”
“Hey, that’s not fair! I didn’t start that fight, and I was clear headed enough to win it anyway. Besides, I had good reason to be drinking. Me and booze is not a problem.”
“And yet We found you in jail because of thy drunken brawling,” I commented.
Gilda’s eyes widened and she looked at me in absolute horror. She glanced over at Trixie, whose eye was twitching, before turning her gaze back to me. “Oh you su-”
“Gilda...” For some odd reason, Trixie’s sweet voice only caused the gryphon to back up in fear. “Is what Luna said true? You were in jail because of your drunken antics?”
“Not... strictly.” she swallowed. “Technically, I was in jail for assault.”
“T’was quite impressive really.” I added as I examined my hoof. “Alone, she broke the bones of five different ponies in one fight. Not bad for a drunken unarmed mortal.”
Trixie’s eyes twitched. Then slowly, very, very slowly, she turned to face Gilda. “Please remind Trixie again she should trust you and your drinking again?”
Gilda swallowed. “Because... I … can control myself?” She gave Trixie a desperate smile. “Hey, no one got really badly hurt. I was careful. They’ll be back to work in a month... or two months for that earth pony... or... um...”
It was difficult to control my laughter as I watched Gilda founder for a reply.
“No more drinking. For a month if you are lucky,” announced Trixie. “Got that?”
Gilda opened her beak and closed it. She glanced at Trixie nervously before adding, “But it’s my birthday in two weeks.”
There was a pause then Trixie leaned in close and whispered something in Gilda’s ear.
Gilda jumped away from Trixie suddenly. “Okay, okay woah...” She blinked at Trixie in surprise. “Really?” she asked, her voice incredulous.
Trixie’s mane hid her face so I couldn’t see what she was doing, but Gilda apparently had a perfect view.
She grinned. “Well I guess I can go for that... Alright, sure. No drinking.” She ruffled her feathers and glared at me. “Anyway, we’re still leaving right? Or do you really want to go to White Peak?”
“White Peak. If she’s telling the truth...” A shudder ran through Trixie’s body. “If it has nothing to do with Equestria then we can leave.”
“Unless Luna agrees to drop us back at the border, then that’s another month's travel.”
I rolled my eyes. “Very well. We shall teleport thee back to Canterlot.”
Trixie glanced at Gilda who sighed. “Fine, but I’m telling you, there’s no risk to Equestria, and there’s the chance that Luna’s just gonna cut our throats when she’s done... I mean, national secrets and all.”
“Don’t worry, the Great and Powerful Trixie will protect you from the wittle filly.”
Gilda snorted. “I’d point out I’m the one who took her on in a fight, when you got knocked out in the first five seconds. You giving me shit for that’s a bit backwards.”
“Well... shut up,” huffed Trixie.
“Nice comeback.” Gilda rolled her eyes. “Look, I’ll do what you want to, but I really think it’s a bad idea to go to White Peak.”
Trixie paused before she answered. “Trixie would like to be certain that Equestria is safe. She would not be comfortable returning when her home and country might be at risk.”
Gilda sighed. “Alright then... Luna?” she turned to me. “I swear I’m gonna end you if you get us killed.”
“Likewise,” I replied as I returned everything to my pack. “Then let us leave. Lead the way.”
“To where? We still don’t have a good idea of where we’re going.” Gilda shook her head. “Nuh. We’re going to have a good long talk about what you know, what we’re actually going to do when we get there, and how you know what you know. I’m not letting us dive into this blind like you love doing.”
“Very well.” A pile of notes were tossed onto the table. “These are the notes We gathered from the laboratory. From what We have translated, there is another facility near White Hills-”
“White Peak,” Gilda interrupted.
“We care not what it is called. It is located in some abandoned mines of some description.”
“Well that’s vague to say the bloody least.” Gilda muttered. “There’s gotta be a thousand abandoned mines in that area left over from before we started relying on Equestrian imports. Do you know anything that will actually help us find the place?”
“It is in the notes and We figured that there would be more clues once we reached there,” I replied with a shrug.
“Uh huh. You just assumed you’ll stumble across a Wide Eyes secret facility? You were just gonna wander into a giant region, in the hopes of just finding more ‘clues’ leading you to a top secret facility ran by the most effective intelligence force on this continent?” She shook her head. “Do I need to tell you what wrong with that?”
“Find more clues? There are names in that document and we have had practice making unwilling participants talk.” I examined my hoof. “There will be no hope involved.”
Gilda faceclawed. “You are so fucking dumb... How the fuck were you ever a strategist! I could spend the next hour, telling you everything wrong with that plan. Why it wouldn’t work, why it would let the Wide Eyes know you’re coming, and why a unicorn wandering around near the changeling border might raise a few questions when they’re already on the lookout for ponies. But instead, I’m going to save time and patience with this. You.” She jabbed a claw at me. “Are.” Another jab. “Retarded.”
“Magic.” I sighed. “In case thou forgot, We can wipe minds. We can torture without leaving marks. We can implant fake memories. The only idiot here is thee.”
“Wow, just... just wow. I could not have put it any better.” A slow clap echoed through my mind. “I am proud of you. To think you were capable of such evil.”
“Shut up! Thy words are mere lies designed to confuse us and bring us under thy control”
“Then why is Trixie currently throwing up and Gilda looking at you like a monster?”
“What? They are not-” I paused mid rant as I stared at the scene before me.
“Okay... that’s fucked up. Not only wouldn’t it work, but seriously... What the fuck is wrong with you?” Gilda was glaring down at me with disgust and hate. “How the fuck are you any better than Nightmare?”
“N-No! Thou art wrong! Wrong!” I looked over at Trixie, but she merely shrunk back from my gaze. “Our methods are tried and true. We won wars and gained unmatched intelligence through these methods! Illusion magic, slip in, kidnap, mind read, rewire memory. We are... we are-”
“A complete fucking monster?” Gilda shook her head. “You can justify anything if you try hard enough. Here’s a good question, does it matter what your reasons are?” She glared at me. “Fucking Tartarus. As far as I can tell, you know what the difference between you and Nightmare is? At least Nightmare won’t use shit like that as a first fucking resort!”
“And how many wars did Nightmare win!?” I screamed. “We fought wars. We won wars. We protected Equestria while Celestia hid behind her morals and righteousness. W-”
“She ‘hid’ behind her morals?’” Gilda repeated. “Do you even hear yourself! Can you even see how fucking selfish you are?” She shook her head. “Holy shit, dude.”
“We could not let Equestria die! What choice did We have?” I looked over at Trixie, but she still could not meet my eyes.
“Celestia managed to make a fucking paradise without resorting to mind wiping and mental torture! Have you noticed how fucking perfect Equestria is? Obviously you had a choice!”
“Only because We struck fear in their souls!” I growled. “The dragons still tell tales of how We rained fire upon their heads. The changelings still tell stories about me! It was us who made them realize how powerful alicorn’s were. Without us they would have invaded whilst We were gone!”
Gilda shook her head. “You’re bragging Luna! Bragging about how scared they were of you! You don’t care about anyone, do you? You’re proud of yourself aren’t you?” She shoved me, and I stumbled back. “Inside your head, you’re proud that you did what you ‘had to’.” Her head tilted to the side. “Is it even a moral issue for you? Are you even worried about it at all? I bet you had a really fucking great time hearing what those dragons had to say about you. Crouching quietly and smiling to yourself as a brood mother warned its children about the fucking Nightmare god of Equestria! Don’t pretend you’re some kind of misunderstood hero. You’re a selfish goddess damn filly who’s every bit as sadistic as Nightmare!”
“We did what We had to!” Even to my ears my defense sounded weak. “We... We had to do it. Don’t you see? It was-”
“A good excuse?” Gilda cut across me. “All the reason you needed? Fuck you, Luna.”
“What would thou have us do!? Does thou think We wanted to be in war every day?”
“I didn’t know you back then, but from what I see now? Yes. Yes I fucking do Luna!”
“Gilda...” Trixie placed a hoof on the gryphon’s shoulder, but she shrugged it off.
“No! She needs to fucking hear this, Trix.” The gryphon turned back to me. “You love doing what you ‘have to do,’ don’t you?” Her claw went to her knife. “I would kill you before I let you take the throne! I could not fucking live with myself if I sat and watched you run Equestria into the fucking ground!”
“Then what should We do?” I whispered. “All our life We hath spent at war. What do We do? We want... We want to be a good leader, but We know nothing beyond killing.”
Gilda just stared at me. “Are you really asking me?”
“Trixie agrees. Gilda is probably the last person you should ask.”
“Then who? Who else has an inkling of knowledge about what it is like to be us?” I asked. “Thou hast seen our memories. Thou art as broken as us.”
Gilda snorted. “I fucking hope not. If I was as broken as that...” She shook her head. “Shit.” She glared at me. “How about Nightmare? She’s basically you Luna. Why the fuck can’t you talk to her about it? Or get some help from Celestia, or... something? There’s no way in Tartarus I can teach you about leadership.”
“Oh yes, tell thy guilt ridden sister that the reason We art unable to integrate back into society is because We were at war for every second of our life. She was already troubled by that a thousand years ago. There is no need to bring back further bad memories,” I snapped.
“Do you think she doesn’t know already?” Gilda asked. “Do you really think that someone who’s lived for a thousand years and seen more ponies live and breathe and die than I can count, doesn’t know what’s wrong with her sister? Grace knew what was wrong with me after six years, and he’s not a fucking goddess.”
“Said goddess missed Nightmare Moon,” I replied.
“It’s one thing to know your sister’s troubled, another thing to know she’s hiding a second personality. Honestly, would it really be that easy for her to tell you’re worried about your past, and you’re worried about Nightmare, apart from each other?”
“Thou would think hiding a second personality is more difficult,” I muttered under my breath.
“Not if it wants to stay hidden,” Gilda replied. “Aren’t you just doing what Nightmare wants by keeping her a secret?”
“We... We do not wish to be banished again,” I whispered.
“What happened to ‘do what you had to do’? If Nightmare can possess you and your powers at any time, isn’t what you ‘have to do’ take the manticore by the tail and deal with potential banishment? Not even guaranteed banishment, potential.” She pointed a claw at me. “You’re a selfish fucking filly Luna.”
“But... But...” To my surprise, I felt a pair of hooves wrap around my neck and looking up, there was Trixie, holding me close to her side.
“Trix, what are you doing?” Gilda asked, sounding as confused as I felt.
“You will shut up,” said Trixie in an oddly cold voice. “While Trixie may not like Luna, and while Trixie believes the Princess deserved to hear that, that is enough. Just look at her, Gilda. Just look at what you’ve reduced her down to. That’s enough.”
Gilda looked at me, and there must have been something in my eyes as I stared back at her. Sympathy flashed through her eyes, but it was soon replaced with a taut jaw and a glare.
“Whatever. It’s about damn time somebody did it.”
“Yes, it is, but any more would be too cruel.” She brushed my mane lightly and I instinctively leaned into it. It had been so long since someone had held me. In the back of my mind, I could feel Nightmare calling for somepony. Crying out a name, but I ignored it.
Gilda sighed and rolled her eyes, though her posture relaxed and she seemed less confrontational. “Whatever.”
“You okay?” Trixie whispered in my ear.
I took a shaky breath, but nodded in reply as I slowly climbed onto my hooves. There was a bit of rustling as I adjusted my wings and shook off the worst of Gilda’s words, but even then, I could hear the taunting echoing in my mind. I looked up at the gryphon and gazed straight into her eyes.
“A thousand years ago, thou would have lost thy head before thou were even halfway through thy first sentence.” She stiffened and Trixie seemed ready to kill, but I held out a hoof. “But it is not a thousand years ago and much hast changed. We would greatly appreciate it if thou wouldst be willing to help us adjust. Much hast changed and We hath been living in the past, clinging desperately to what We once knew.”
Gilda stared at me for a while, her eyes set in thought. “I don’t want anything to do with you. I want to take Trix and go home and pretend this never fucking happened. What you’re asking me isn’t something I can just say yes to and do. It’d take time and actual effort from both me and you. And like I’ve said, do you really think that I can teach you that? I’m probably the worst possible example of what normal life in Equestria is.”
Trixie snorted. “Better than some of the scum Trixie has had the displeasure of dealing with. You may be rough around the edges, but you’re decent enough underneath it all.”
Gilda snorted and shook her head with a wry smile. “There’s a reason I haven’t told you much about myself...” she trailed off. “Alright then Trix. If you both think that I’m really the one to do it, and I’m gonna travel with you, then why not?” She shrugged.
“Ha! Trixie never said you’d be the only one helping out, for that would be a foalish thing, and the Great and Powerful Trixie is anything but foalish.” Gilda just stared at the showmare as though she was insane. “Why, with the Great and Powerful Trixie helping out, you shall be a greater ruler than Celestia!”
Gilda just shook her head. “Holy fuck... between the two of us there’s no way this couldn’t end horribly. We’re like... heck, anti-normal training or something.”
“Good thing We are not normal then,” I replied in a soft voice.
“Oh come on! Naysayers! You two are naysayers! Where’s the fun in being normal? Normal ponies don’t get to travel the world. Normal ponies don’t get to go on adventures. Normal ponies don’t inspire others! Being normal is no fun. Trixie says to Tartarus with being normal and Trixie knows all.”
Gilda laughed. “Yeah, but normal ponies don’t kill anyone... ever. Let alone before they’re legally allowed to drink.” She paused and added. “Not that I waited till I was eighteen to drink. Thirteen.” She shook her head and sighed. “A lot of firsts for me that night.”
“Thirteen...” Trixie looked off into the distance, a frown on her brow. “Ah yes, Trixie was almost eaten by a timberwolf when she was twelve. You will have to do better than that to beat the Great and Powerful One.”
Gilda stared at her with an eyebrow raised. She shrugged and added, “How about a manticore hunt when I was ten? I wasn’t alone, but still. Ten for your first big game isn’t bad.”
“Burnt down a library at that age,” replied Trixie as she fixed the gryphon with a defiant stare. “And that doesn’t count, you weren’t alone. At that age Trixie had already travelled from one edge of Equestria to the other.”
“Really?” Gilda asked looking surprised. “Alright, how about killing a full grown buck when I was eight. Alone too. Luck more than anything, but I’m proud to say I dragged that sucker back myself. Pelt was ruined, meat was fucked, and I got the lecture of a lifetime from Calisto, but he still mounted those antlers on his wall.”
“Well Trixie had... er...”
“Well,” I interrupted, “Celestia and I have defeated the embodiment of chaos itself.”
They both stared at me for a moment, until Gilda broke the silence. “Goddesses fucking suck,” she muttered and turned away disgustedly. “Ruin bloody everything.”
“Well, Trixie earned the title of Great and Powerful when she was ten!” yelled the showmare before taking half a step back as we just stared at her. “What?”
Gilda opened her beak and shut it. After a second she just said, “Nothing Trix. Not a fucking thing.”
“We have been wondering, why dost thou call her ‘Trix’?” I tilted my head to the side. “Are such abbreviations of names acceptable in society these days?”
“Uh... Well if you’re friends with someone then sure... It’s not always, you know, appropriate or whatever, but really, when am I ever appropriate?” She paused and was about to say something more when Trixie interrupted.
“On that note, do not copy Gilda’s speaking patterns. Ever. And furt-”
“Gee, thanks Trix.”
“You’re welcome. As Trixie was suggesting, keep speaking as you have. Keep using that old dialect, except maybe dial it back a bit.” Gilda just looked at the show mare as though she was insane. “What? Being a Princess is merely manipulating the audience, just at a national level. Speaking in such a manner makes her endearing and adorable in the eyes of the public, which would definitely help.”
“But Celly said-”
“You asked for help right?” Trixie cocked an eyebrow at me. “And Trixie is telling you, keep speaking as you have been. At least until the press calm down a bit.”
Gilda shrugged. “Uh... yeah. I guess Trixie would know more about that than I would. I guess it wouldn’t be good if you spoke or acted like me.” She paused and added. “Though it would be completely fucking hilarious if you got up for a press conference or whatever and just said ‘Go fuck yourselves.’”
“Gilda...” That warning tone was back in Trixie’s voice.
Gilda sighed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Just… don’t do that. It’d be awesome but... just don’t do it.”
“We have heard of this... ‘awesome’ by guards in passing and they have spoken about it in much the same reverence as thou does. So why would thou tell us not to do such an act when it would be, ah, ‘awesome’ as thou puts it.”
Gilda stared at me for a moment before she broke into snickers. “Oh fuck... Me? Teaching Luna? Equestria’s doomed.” She turned and walked over to the pile of notes I’d left. “I’m gonna start decoding these. Trix, why don’t you... try to start explaining just how much is wrong with me.”
There was a pause as I gazed expectantly at Trixie. After a long paused filled with muffled curses and leafing of pages, Trixie finally said, “Everything.”
Gilda glanced up from her work. “Hey, that’s not true. I’m not saying I’m perfect or even alright, but ‘everything’? There’s gotta be some way that I’m socially acceptable.”
Once more silence descended as Trixie tried to think of an answer, only to come up with, “Nope. Everything.”
“You suck.” Gilda muttered as she turned back to her papers. “You didn’t even bother thinking about your answer, did you?” She said with a frown on her face as she began comparing two pages.
“Of course not,” came the reply without a hint of hesitation.
Was this... was this what friendship was? This bickering and back and forth banter full of insults that would have provoked a war a thousand years ago? How quaint. When Celly told me there had been no wars for a thousand years I had thought she was lying, but if such words could pass between two individuals with no consequences, then perhaps...
“Hey Trix. I stashed some notes from the lab in your pockets. Give ‘em here would you?” She settled on glancing between three different sheets. The pile of wet and dirty notes soon found themselves floating over to Gilda obediently as we gathered around her.
Gilda looked at the pile of dirty notes and sighed. “At least the ink didn’t run,” she muttered as she carefully examined them.
“So? Anything of interest?” I asked as I peered at the scribbles she had added. It was a shame I couldn’t read them, but the mere that fact she could translate so much more than me was curious indeed. Perhaps next time Nightmare was out, I’d let her ruffle through Gilda’s thoughts a bit to see wha-
No!
No. No, I would not do that. That was not how things were done anymore. No mind magic. No killing and no torture. By the stars! How did they manage to get anything done?
“Yeah... you’re right. These notes were headed to White Peak.” She tapped one part of the note, which as far as I could tell was a series of letters and numbers. “The facility's blacklisted, so we’re not gonna find it any public directory’s, but we have the mine’s name and general area. If we get a map of the region I’ll be able to figure out where it is... But, some seriously big names are in here. Heck, Teotore was being kept in the dark on this one, and he’s the highest ranked Wide Eyes in the capital.” She shook her head. “As far as I can tell, this is a Black Eyes only club.”
“Name of the mine is blacklisted as well,” I commented absent mindedly as I skimmed through the extra pages. “Implied on page two of Trixie’s documents and it’s not on any of the maps that we bought before our expedition.”
Gilda snorted. “I wasn’t just gonna check the map for a place named Anacleto Mines. Oh, that’s the name of the mine by the way. Nah, the maps would just help me figure it out, you know, narrow down our options.”
With a simple nod, I drew up the maps and spread them out before us. “They would want a secure location, easily defendable, but also easy to collapse to hide the evidence if necessary. Somewhere close so frequent coming and goings would not be amiss, but not so close that suspicious activity would be noticed. That rules out these three mines.” Large red crosses appeared on the map.
“Yeah, but you’re forgetting one thing. Changelings. Their territory has expanded since this map was written, so unless they want a massive military claw in this, I’d cut this half of the map. Uh... put a cross on every mine west of-”
“Wait.” Both Gilda and I looked at Trixie in surprise. “You said something is going down right? And Nightmare Moon managed to get something about testing this stuff out of Teotore’s head didn’t she? And Trixie assumes gryphons hate changelings, so...”
Gilda frowned. “I guess that’s a possibility. So, if they’re snatching changelings then they’d want somewhere fairly close to a hive’s outskirts...” She paused and tapped one part of the map. “This is a good candidate. Assuming they really are kidnapping the bugs.”
“Hm... It is close to the lake which means a simply explosion could flood the entire facility.” My eyes widened. “Oh no. No!”
Gilda’s eyes narrowed on me.
“Fuck!” Once more our attention snapped towards Trixie who was staring at the map intensely. “If they flood the place and the chemical gets into the lake, then it will affect everything downstream won’t it? Three villages, two towns and a small sized city if they all rely on the lake and river as their water source. That’s what you were thinking, wasn’t it?”
I simply nodded and Gilda sighed. “You guys are being retarded. The Wide Eyes aren’t just going to randomly kill Kingdom citizens, especially not a freaking city.”
“Of course they won’t,” I replied. “But can thou say the same for the changelings? All it takes is a single Wide Eyes to be captured, one of the little bugs to take his form, and then...”
Gilda snorted. “You think they don’t know that? A facility like this would take months to make, so they’ve been here for a while and nothing’s gone wrong. Any Wide Eye I know would kill themselves before they got captured.”
“Thou makes it sound like they have a choice. While thy confidence in them is refreshing, it is far from the truth. We have captured many Wide Eyes in the past and We have defeated even more. Though We loathe to say it, we fear no nation surpasses the changelings in subterfuge and ambushes.”
“Let me put it this way: What I’m hear you saying is you think the three of us are somehow more capable and prepared to deal with this than a government backed intelligence force that’s been doing this for longer than I’ve been born. And the Wide Eyes are different from the clansmen of a thousand years ago. They’re no longer the pack of primitives wandering around outside clan borders to just keep an eye on things.”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Deep calming breaths, seven seconds in, hold, seven seconds to exhale. Rinse and repeat. It was only once the calmness settled in that I opened my eyes once more. In the back of my mind, I could feel Nightmare watching on silently, just as curious as the two before me were.
“Thou may doubt our abilities, but We can assure thee, they are nothing, but insignificant ants in our eyes.” For the first time since coming back, I felt at ease. “Gilda? Outside, now. We shall show you what a goddess is capable of.”
Gilda blinked. “Dude, this isn’t... You don’t need to prove to me how big your horn is, or how fast you can fly.”
“And yet We tire of thy doubts. We are as capable in this task, perhaps more so than any being that has ever lived. Some prefer long drawn out wars, others prefer to hide behind their morals. Thou call us ‘Monster’ for the tactics we employed and yet our tactics brought us victory.”
“You say you’re the best, but you signed your own fucking passport didn’t you?” Gilda shook her head. “I’ve yet to see anything that makes you seem like a barely decent strategist let alone the master you claim to be.”
I sighed sadly. “We got into the capital, managed to get information out of Teotore’s head, destroyed their main laboratory, and escaped. They are unable to instigate anything because as far as Celestia knows, we randomly vanished off the face of the planet just after passing through the border and is no doubt panicking over my location. They wished for us to help in their endeavors which meant the Wide Eyes probably never informed Celestia of my whereabouts, therefore to blame the destruction on us would insinuate them in capturing us to begin with.”
She listed my points off on her claws. “You got arrested and taken to the capital, Nightmare got the information from Teotore, Nightmare destroyed the laboratory and escaped, and I doubt you planned any of it.” Gilda paused in thought. “Wait, they asked you to help in their research?”
“Yes.”
“So you really think that they weren’t prepared for the possibility they couldn’t trust you? You really think, that-”
With a roll of my eyes, I pulled out another stack of papers, easily twice the size of what we had before. “These are all the fake documents that they left planted around and thanks to Nightmare’s liberal use of mindreading, it was impossible to lie to us.”
Gilda opened her beak to speak again, but Trixie cut in. “So you’re telling us, that you’ve been working with Nightmare this entire time?”
“...That’s a good point Trix.” Gilda’s eyes narrowed on me.
What is it with me and putting my hoof in my mouth today?
“If thou prefers, We could have let Nightmare Moon slaughter the entire castle and then mind rape the king,” I shot back. “Without us guiding her actions, we would be dead by now. You two would most certainly be dead.”
Gilda glared at me. “I’m so fucking sick of your condescension and lies. When you make a mistake just fucking admit it! I was in Nightmare’s head! You don’t control her at all!”
“Control is not about forcing somepony to do thy every will!” I yelled back. “And to think to control Nightmare is stupidity itself. The most We can do is contain the damage she will cause and direct it. Dost thou truly wish to know what Nightmare had planned? She planned on slaughtering all the guards, reading the king’s mind and then leaving a crater where the castle stood!”
Gilda frowned and paced back and forth. “No. I saw her mind... She’s not just some mindless sadist. She has a goal, and things she wants and a plan. She enjoys fucking with people, but... It’s not what she wants out of this. She’s not a monster... But she is...” She sat on her haunches and put her claws to her head. “Ergh! The shit I saw is so confusing!” Her fist slammed into a wall, punching a hole in the rotten plaster. “Who the fuck is Aurora! What the bloody fuck has she got to do with me?!”
“Really?” I peered at her curious. I had thought that Nightmare had used false memories to confuse Gilda, but if Aurora was in there, that was highly unlikely. Whoever she was, she sounded important. “What else do thou remember?”
Gilda looked up, her head rising from her claws. “Why would I tell you that? It was Nightmare that stopped from you checking out all my memories. Least I can do is return the favor.”
“Except Nightmare is a monster,” I replied.
Gilda snorted. “Like I’ve said, and you’re not?”
“Right,” I looked away,“More of a monster then.”
Gilda sighed. “Fair point... The thing is...” she scratched her head confused. “Urgh...” she stood up and started pacing before she growled and screamed in frustration. “Fuck it. Those memories were personal, okay? They’re not... Look, if it was something I thought you should know then I’d tell you.”
“Private? As in it occurred during her reign?”
“I don’t know.” Gilda shrugged. “It’s just this... big bundle of emotions and images and sensations. There wasn’t any clear idea or pattern, just... I dunno. Ideas I guess. I’m not a unicorn, I’m not supposed to know anything about mind magic anyway.”
“We could always read thy mind and piece it together that way?” It was doubtful she’d allow it, but there was no harm in asking.
Her confused gaze settled into an angry glare. “If I’m not going to tell you it because it’s private, I’m not gonna show you it either. Especially not when last time you had a shot at my brain you made yourself at bloody home.”
“We did no such thing.”
Gilda just shook her head. “You’re full of shit. Nightmare had to help me drag you out of my head.”
“Or it could have been a ploy by Nightmare to get you to trust her.” An innocent smile found its way onto my face. “She is called ‘Nightmare Moon’ for a reason.”
“Hey! I resent that. Just because I have an evil sounding word in my name doesn’t make me evil. Plus, I have a rule against mind reading those I like.”
Gilda paused to think about that. “Nah, bullshit. Your mind wasn’t the same as hers. I could... ‘feel’... the difference.”
“And yet thou knows nothing about mind magic,” I replied.
“If Trixie may interrupt, shouldn’t we be getting a move on!?” She fixed us a glare. “Trixie finds this... housing arrangement less than satisfactory and would appreciate it if we could find somewhere else to stay. The sooner we get a move on, the sooner we can leave.”
Gilda nodded. “Yeah Trix has a point. Let’s just get this run to White Peak over with and go home.” She added, “Even if it is totally pointless.”
“It is not pointless,” I retorted as I began putting everything back into my saddlebag. “But very well.”
“So how are we getting out of here?” Gilda asked. “You don’t look like you’re up for a teleport.”
“We walk,” I snapped. “Thou can walk correct?”
Gilda paused. “Alright... I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you’re not retarded as fuck, and not tell you why that’s a dumb idea. I’m even going to be nice and guess that you were joking or being sarcastic or knew something I didn’t when you suggested we just ‘walk’ out of Aviana.”
“There is a class of magic known as ‘illusion magic’. Thou dost know this, correct?”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine then smart ass. Are you feeling up to casting an invisibility spell that will cover us from here to the edge of the city?” She paused and added. “Or a disguise or whatever spell it is you’re planning.”
“We were thinking disguise. Gryphon.” I eyed Gilda. “With thou as a male and us as your harem. Thy country still has harems correct?”
“W-What!? Trixie does not approve of this. Trixie is not anypony’s harem!”
Gilda spared her a glance but turned to me. “Yeah, harems are around, but thanks to Equestrian influence they’re not so common. And you’d need an audible adjustment to make me sound like a guy... Something with a north-eastern accent, maybe a White Beak? They still do harems.” She shrugged. “Why do you want me to be the guy anyway?”
“Thou knows thy culture, and thou hast the body for it.” Behind me, I heard Trixie snicker. “We will have less reason to speak and thus, less probable to be detected.”
“Trixie still hasn’t agreed to this!”
Gilda nodded at me and shrugged. “Okay, that makes sense I guess.” She tapped a claw to her beak. “How are you gonna disguise you and Trix? And what if they have anti-spell powders?”
“Illusion magic. It will not be perfect, but in the past we hath found it sufficient.” I paused and thought it over. “As for anti-spell powders, we do not give them a reason to use them.”
“How dare you ignore the Great and Powerful Trixie! If anything, Trixie should be the male. How dare you suggest Trixie should be part of a harem?”
Gilda continued, either failing to hear Trixie or not caring. “What can you do about speech? If we’re posing as a harem, we’ll need decent sounding accents. I mean, I can fake one, but I don’t sound like a guy, so that’s another problem.”
“Harem’s are there to be seen and enjoyed. There is no need for speech. Surely that is still the case?” I tilted my head quizzically.
“Well... yeah I guess, but I’d be coming off as a real douchebag. Some Great Scars can get real ‘white knight’ for an abused female.” She shrugged her shoulders. “And you still haven’t answered me. If I’m gonna do the talking, I’ll need a different voice.”
“Whatever thou think is best.” I turned my attention to Trixie who was busy huffing. “Have there been any advancements in voice changing spells?”
“Oh, so now you care about what Trixie has to say,” she snapped. “Well too late!”
Gilda rolled her eyes. “Trix, this is business and espionage. Just get past yourself and do what you have to do. Ever had to crawl through a sewer barely big enough to move your arms? If not, then get over it. More important things than not wanting to pose as a harem are at stake here.”
“As long as Trixie doesn’t have to-” She stuck her tongue out and made a gagging noise. “-get physical with you.”
“Well if she doesn’t want to, I would gladly volunteer myself.”
“Yeah, of course they’re not gonna expect us to break out in group sex right beneath the fucking city gates.” Gilda shook her head and sounded incredulous. “Fuck, what do you think you’ll actually have to do? Give me head?”
“Considering you lack the parts? That’d be impossible,” replied Trixie.
“‘Head’?” There was no doubt something about that word that was I missing.
Gilda turned to me and stared for a second. “You know what? Fuck it. You know males have dicks right? Head, or sucking it off, or oral, or any one of a thousand bloody words I use is when someone takes a dick in their mouth and sucks it until they blow. Okay?”
Heat rushed to my cheeks. “W-What? Thou mean ponies put a phallus in their mouth? That’s disgusting!”
“More like interesting. I wonder what else ponies have come up with in the past one thousand years. Do you think Celestia has any... ‘educational’ material lying about on this?”
Gilda nodded. “Yeah. It is. That’s why I use it as an insult. So when I say go suck yourself, I think you can figure the rest out.”
More heat. “Is... is that even possible?”
“Well now... that sounds... hot...”
Gilda shrugged. “Well, why don’t you get some ribs removed and try to find out? I sure as bloody Tartarus ain’t gonna try it.”
“C-Can we stop talking about this?” asked Trixie, her face entire red. “And can we get a move on?”
“Well that depends,” Gilda turned to her. “Unless you really want me to fuck you brainless beneath the city gates, I can’t imagine any problems with the illusion magic.” Trixie’s face colored again and Gilda focused her attention on me again. “What disguises have you got for us to work with?”
“Whatever is required.” I closed my eyes and with a bit of magic, my form filled out to be slightly larger, the fur around face and chest became light blue, the rest was dark blue and some tail feathers appeared. “Does this work?”
Gilda just stared at me before she shook her head in exasperation. “When was the last time you met a blue gryphon?”
“Fine,” I spat at her. A bit more magic and I was a perfect color copy of Gilda. “Better?”
She shook her head. “Dude... come on? A little originality... And they’re searching for me, remember? I mean, is that hard to come up with something original? Plus, northern gryphons have a darker more gray color. Like that Chef Gustav guy, the one in the magazines.”
“Very well,” I sighed and changed the coloration again so that I was a mix of black and grey. “This work?”
“No. Fuck, do you pay an attention to gryphon appearance at all? Crown feathers usually have colored tips, also around the eyes are colored too, not like that Gustav guy. If you like, you can use your blue there.”
“Picky,” I muttered under my breath as I added light blue to the areas she suggested. “Better?”
She nodded. “Alright, now for Trix. Most harems are made with variety in mind, so maybe make her a lighter, more ash gray... with golden crown feathers?”
“No. You will not touch Trixie’s coloration! Trixie’s blue is the most majestic color ever invented and you will not-” She let out a shriek her coat color changed. “No! Trixie is Great and Powerful! How dare you? This is unforgivable. You!” She jabbed a hoof at Gilda. “This is all your fault!”
Gilda just laughed. “I don’t know Trix, isn’t this like a fantasy of yours? Being a non-pony, with rocking hot curves? Don’t know if Luna did it deliberately, but she’s made you the bloody stereotype of a hot-ass chick.”
“Really?” Trixie visibly perked up and conjured a mirror, allowing her to admire herself. “Hm... This might come in use at a later date,” she chuckled darkly.
Gilda blanched. “Why does that worry me so much?”
Trixie just smiled at the gryphon sweetly. “Trixie has no idea what you’re talking about.”
Gilda shook her head and turned to me. “Messed up sexuality aside, now I need my disguise.”
“Coloration?” I asked while ignoring the way Trixie’s eye roamed over her illusionary body.
“Uh... charcoal gray with... I dunno... white feathers and...” She shrugged. “I don’t give a fuck, dude... Just crown feathers that aren’t pink.”
I smirked and did exactly as she said, making sure to give her the pinkest crown feathers I could manage.
“Alright,” she said and turned to Trixie. “Let me see that mirror.” She held out her claw and glanced at it. “Oh, huh. I’ve got bigger claws now. Nice.” Trixie passed her, or perhaps the new him, the mirror. She glanced at it before turning to glare at me. “Oh, gee. Really fucking mature Luna.”
“We do not know what thou are speaking of.” I examined my claws. “Can we leave now?”
“No, because I have pink fucking crown feathers!” The newly minted male bristled, and her humorously pink crown feathers stood up. “I said not pink!”
“It looks good on thee. Right Trixie?” I smiled sweetly.
“I don’t give a fuck if it looks good or not!” The male shrieked. “Give me red or green or fucking lilac, or some shit. Not. Fucking. Pink.” Gilda punctuated each pause with a jab of her claw.
“What is wrong with pink?” I asked innocently.
Gilda scowled, which actually looked quite intimidating on male features. Or it would have if it wasn’t for the pink feathers. “The Pink One,” she snarled the phrase like she’d said it before. “Not goddess damn pink.”
I rolled my eyes, but changed the crown feathers to red like she asked. It was best to indulge her before she started huffing.
She checked her reflection in the mirror. “Alright, that’s better. Now we just need to do something with my voice and we’re ready to go.”
“If we’re your harem, how should we act?” asked Trixie. “Should we drape off your arms and smother you in kisses or what?”
I could feel Nightmare bristling inside me.
“No.” Gilda rolled her eyes. “That’d be a favored wife or whatever. Northern females would follow at my shoulders and keep their eyes down. Keep an eye on my claw gestures and just look like you’re ready to jump without me asking.” She scowled. “And you wonder why I don’t think much of females.”
It was as though Trixie completely changed persona. Her body seemed to shrink, her head wasn’t held as tall and her entire body oozed meekness. “Like this Master?” she said tenderly.
Gilda blanched and looked disgusted. “Ugh... yeah.” The male glanced over at me. “Luna, you going to practice?”
With a sigh, I let my shoulders droop and let myself slip back into the shadows just like I had done in the past when in the same room as Celly. It’s not as though I was actually needed at those meetings anyways.
“Try to order us around, and we shall hurt you.” I smacked Gilda in the face with my invisible pony tail. “Got that?”
Gilda shifted back in surprise at the sudden sensation. “Yeah, no. Believe me I don’t like this any more than you do.” The male shivered. “Meekness... Just... I fucking hate anyone that’s meek.”
“Mmmmmhm,” replied Trixie with half lidded eyes. “I hate it too, so don’t you dare try to take advantage of it.”
“I won’t, believe me.” Gilda turned to me. “And I still need a deeper voice. I can add the accent, just give me a baritone.”
“Um...” I tilted my head. “Trixie? When we were banished, voice changing magic had not yet been invented...”
“She’s read about it once, but never tried it.” The space where her horn was lit up in a familiar blue glow and a small beam shot out at Gilda’s throat.
“Is it working? Woah!” Gilda blinked in surprise at her deep voice. Yes. Yes it was working. “Sweet. I sound fucking bass.” She gave a deep throaty chuckle. “Oh crap. Hey, deep and sexy here. I roll smooth and hard.” She waggled an eyebrow at no one. “Fuck.” She glanced at the both of us. “This is so freaking weird.” She turned to me. “Did you give me a fake dick?”
“W-What!?” I backed up, a bright red blush on my cheeks. “Even if we did, we don’t even know what that would look like!”
With a sigh and eye roll, a fine blue mist settled on Gilda. “There,” smirked Trixie. “Done.”
Gilda’s head ducked down, but she caught herself before she checked fully. A small blush forming on her face as she remembered we were watching her. Then her brow furrowed and evil smirk came over her face.
“Trix, how do you know what a gryphon cock looks like?”
“N-No reason!” cried Trixie as she suddenly turned and barged out the door. “But come! We have been waiting long enough.”
“And why’d you make it so big?” called Gilda after the unicorn.
“Shut up!” screamed Trixie.
“I’m hung like a bleeding titan!” Gilda shouted after her again as we followed her out.
“No you’re not! You’re only above average by a couple of in-” Silence. “Gah!”
“Living out some kind of a fantasy here?” Gilda walked up the stairs behind her, just managing to duck in time as Trixie bucked backwards. She started laughing. “Just how big do I have to be before I’m officially big Trix? I’m only asking because you’re the expert here.”
“Not listening!” She began trotting in an attempt to get away, but we easily kept pace. I had to admit, this was the best entertainment I have had in a long time.
“Oh, not listening babe?” Gilda moved right up to Trixie and whispered in her ear with a seductively bass tone that I easily overheard. “But there’re so many things we have to... ‘talk’ about.”
Trixie jumped away from her as though she was stung, and Gilda burst out laughing. It was a good thing we weren't outside the building yet, or we would have been attracting much attention. In the back of my mind, I heard a low growl from Nightmare and I just knew, next time she was out, Trixie was going to pay.
“Anyway,” Gilda shook her head. “Seriously though, now’s the time to get into character.” She shook her head. “Everyone focus.”
Once again, Trixie’s entire body language change and she even snuggled herself up against Gilda slightly. From the looks of things, she was practically draping herself over Gilda, which caused jealousy to flash through Nightmare. Gilda better watch out. If Nightmare came out, she was going to cling to the gryphoness like a dragon to its hoard.
“Trix, back off a bit.” Gilda pushed her away. “You’re being too pushy. It’s like you’re trying to get my attention. Gryphon females are supposed to be subtle and part of the wall paper.”
“Alright...” Trixie back off slightly and walked beside Gilda, but kept close so they were walking side by side with their flanks touching.
“Take a step back. When you’re walking alongside me, it doesn’t look quite like I’m leading the way.”
Like an obedient puppy Trixie dropped back.
“Yeah that’s good.” Gilda glanced back at me. “Luna, you take the other side, but walk a few steps further back. That way it’s like Trix is the preferred bride and you’ve got a bit more to do to earn my...” Her beak curled in disgust. “Favor. Ugh...” She shook her head in disgust. “I hate my culture so much.”
I smirked in reply, but did as she bid. It was a shame gryphon culture had changed so much, otherwise I’d be in front as was proper of somepony of my status. No. Stop that. I had to stop thinking that way! Things had changed, things were different now.
“We think it wouldst be best if thou proclaimed We were mute,” I said. “After all a harem is wanted for their beauty, not for functionality, and it wouldst prevent us from being identified through our unique speech.”
Gilda snorted. “Fuck. I’m gonna have to play a real douchebag aren’t I?” She shook her head. “Alright, you’re mute then. Umm... Names. We need names. I’ll be Adalberto, Trix can be Adelina, and you can be Alicia.” She glanced between the two of us. “Any problems with those names?”
No reply. After a couple of seconds, Trixie spoke up, “Will Trixie have to call you ‘Master’? And how should she act and speak? Seductively? Submissively?”
Gilda shrugged. “Just cause you’re female, doesn’t mean you don’t have a personality. As long as you’re not in their face or challenging, you’ll be able to pass off as a White Beak pretty easy. But remember, northern accents. Like this,” She changed her tone and began to speak in a forced accent. I was not familiar with gryphon accents, so I could tell if it was a particularly good one or not. To me, it sounded similar to the Chef Gustav that Celestia hired from time to time for special feasts or foreign dignitaries. “You will sound like this, oui?” Her voice was deeper than Gustav’s and she stressed her vowels slightly more. Whether this was deliberate or not, I did not know.
“Keep speaking,” said Trixie. “She needs a bit more than that.”
“Testing, one two three. The quick brown dog jumps over the lazy yellow fox.” Trixie made a ‘keep going’ gesture. “Uh... bonjure, my name is Adalberto, and I’m a complete douchebag. My wives are beaten into submission, and one of them is mute so I don’t have to put up with her voice. I doubt we’ll be questioned much by guards, but it never hurts to prepare a bit. Testing, testing. How much more do you need?”
“That should be enough.” Trixie cleared her throat and began speaking in a lighter voice, with a bit of a tilt at the end that reminded me of Fleur. “Ah yes, it’s a pleasure to meet you, my name is Adelina. How does this sound?”
“Good to me.” Gilda also spoke in her Adalberto accent. “Alright my harem. Let us go.” She turned and walked out the front door onto the street.
We followed meekly behind her. The first thing that struck me about was how run down everything was. It reminded me of Equestria from a couple thousand years ago, rundown housing, obsolete factories, and beggars everywhere. Gryphons glanced over at us and a couple even leered at us, but one look from Gilda made them change their minds. Well, most of them. There were one or two that kept watching us, no doubt fantasizing about what they’d do to Trixie and I if they managed to capture us. Ha! I’d like to see them try.
“See why I said no pink?” Gilda glanced over her shoulder at us before turning forwards to glare at another shady looking gryphon.
“Should we take care of them?” I whispered back.
Gilda just gave a slight shake of her head. “I’ll deal with them if they try anything, and I’ll make it nasty so no one else takes a shot.”
“Alright,” I replied as my eyes darted over to a pair that was following us. Gilda seemed to notice as well for I could see her body tense, but as we continued through, they didn’t make a single move. Eventually they dropped back as the area around us became living quarters. Wasn’t really fancy, but at least they had windows.
We kept moving through the area and soon it was full of cubs playing in the street and guards everywhere. A whole bunch of houses had some gaudy red claw slash with a multitude of colors to offset it and I was tempted to bash my head in. Seems like the Red Ends hadn’t changed at all, and if possible, they had gotten worse. At least there were enough Great Scars around to offset it, otherwise I’d be tempted to rip my eyes out. A simple single vertical blue line. Perfect. You could just tell they were a military clan. Only idiots who wanted to die on the battlefield had gaudy symbols that could be seen across the battlefield.
“Red Ends.” Gilda snorted as she looked around. “And they think they’re the lords of battle or someshit.”
I snorted. “Seriously? We crushed them on the field of battle.”
Gilda shrugged. “Yeah. They’re so freaking dramatic about everything. They lose the first battle of the war and name it the ‘Battle of Red Tears’.” She shook her head in disgust and glanced back at me. “Hey, you’re supposed to be a mute, remember?”
It took all my willpower to not snap at her.
With a sigh, I continued following her like the meek female I was meant to be. Stupid gryphons, I knew there was a reason they were below ponies. Ha! Look at their guards. Pathetic. We strolled right past them as though we belonged, and not once did they even bat an eyelash at us. With Gilda leading the way, we quickly made it to the gates and with a simple smile, they let us pass. Idiots. If that had been committed by one of my underlings, I would have had them flog-
No. Stop right there. That practice had been outlawed over nine hundred years ago. Making these changes was going to be far harder than I thought.
This week cannot end soon enough.