Beep
Beep
Beep
Beep
Beep
I open my eyes. The brightness hurts, but I fight it.
"You're awake..." I hear.
I look around the blur before me and I barely make out a pink blob.
I close my eyes and fall into the soft embrace of sleep… But after what seems like only a minute, I gain some strength and wake once more. Fate, it seems, is not done with me yet. I don't remember what happened, but even though I can hear I'm on the heart monitor again, I quickly decide that I have not had another heart attack, judging by how lucid I'm starting to feel. Enough to open my eyes again and squint at the blur in the bright light.
Trying to reach over to the table for my glasses isn't too easy, but the pink blur decides to help me.
"Here, let me get that for you," she says in a mellow tone, soaked in sadness.
Next thing I know, the blur has her forelegs on either side of me and I see pony teeth holding my glasses coming out of the fog and towards my face. I close my eyes, and feel a brush of soft fur against my nose as she nudges my spectacles into place.
Opening my eyes again, they focus on Pinkie… well actually… Pinkamena.
The straight-maned pink pony is sitting on a chair next to my bed, very close to me, ears laid back, staring back at me with depressed and droopy eyes. With a closer look, I see her hair is not perfectly straight. It's hanging down, having no volume to it at all, but it's a little wavy and very frizzy. And her coat is dull, reflecting not a drop of the sunlight that's pouring in through the window.
I clear my throat and croak, "Hi."
"Hi," she responds quietly, looking down.
"So, um," I clear my throat again, "what happened?"
"I, um…" Suddenly the wall is very interesting to her, as she turns her head so I can't see her eyes. "…startled you."
Oh yes… I remember now. She managed to sneak up on me, and pulled a Pinkie.
"I'm sorry." She sniffles and rubs her nose with the back of a foreleg.
"It's ok, I'm not mad."
"But I am… I'm mad at myself…"
"I forgive you, Pinkie." I smile as best as I can in my weak state.
She whips her head around and locks eyes with me, giving me a death stare. "But how can you? I can't even forgive myself! All I wanted to do was sing you the welcome song and make you happy…" she sniffs, "give you a cupcake maybe… but noooOOOO, I had to be a big dumb meanie pants and… scare you…"
"I…"
"And you know what the worst part is? It wasn't even an accident! I mean, it kinda was… but Twilight knew I would do that. Why else would she take me to meet you last, out of all her friends? I begged and I pleaded with her to take me here so I could say 'welcome to our planet, Mr. Alien,' but she kept taking everypony else first… Fluttershy kinda made sense because she found you, then Applejack, because Twilight said you like apples for some reason, then Rarity, because she said you needed clothes, then when she picked Rainbow Dash, I knew something was up, because she didn't even say why she had to go before me. But I waited and I waited, until this morning-"
This morning? Thank Celestia, I've only been out for a few hours.
"-when Twilight was supposed to take me here, but she wasn't home, and neither was Spike, so I just walked over here by myself… And then I… I…" she sniffles and rubs her watering eyes with a foreleg. "I'm such a bad pony!" She wails and sobs, burying her head in the edge of my bed.
Poor Pinkie. She didn't mean it…
I reach over and gently stroke her mane. "You're not a bad pony, Pinkie, you didn't mean it."
She keeps her face mashed into my bed. "But… but I DID! sob I wanted sob to surprise you! sob I knew sob you were sob sick, but I sob was so excited that I sob FORGOT!"
"Pinkie… we all make mistakes… and bad choices. It’s how you deal with them that defines you. Come on now… cheer up." I pat her on the head.
She just stays there, still face down. Breathing raggedly from all this crying, sobbing occasionally between breaths.
"Hey Pinkie…" I lean closer. "If you cheer up, I'll let you…" pause for dramatic effect, "throw me a party!"
Her ears perk up. She sniffles some more and pulls her head up. Wow, she's a mess. Bloodshot eyes and her face is soaked in tears. And so is a very large spot on the edge of my bed.
"Really?" She brings up a leg to rub her eyes. "You'd let me throw you a party?"
"Pinkie, I worked my whole life to come here, I wouldn't miss a Pinkie Pie party for the world," I finish with an honest smile.
Huh, it just dawned on me: what I just said is quite literal. I really did give up my own world for such things…
"You… wouldn't?"
I shake my head 'no' with a reassuring smile.
"Are you… sure?"
I nod. "As long as it's not a surprise party," I tease, gently nudging her with an elbow.
That earns a tiny chuckle from her. But that weak smile turns into frown again.
"I still don't think I can forgive myself," she sniffles.
"Hey, if a crazy old alien can forgive you, of course you can forgive you."
"Do you really forgive me?"
"Of course! How could I stay mad at you? All you ever want to do is make ponies smile, right?"
She looks down and sniffles, her lower lip quivers and her sad eyes start welling up with tears again. "It's TRUE!!" she cries.
She surprises me by jumping onto my bed and burying me in a fluffy pink hug while loudly sobbing on my shoulder. After my initial shock, I hug her back and pat her gently on the back.
"There, there, Pinkie. It's ok, just let it all out…"
I hear the door click open, and Nurse Redheart pokes her head in.
I recognize her presence with a small nod. She merely examines the scene I'm in with a raised eyebrow, but a small smile quickly graces her lips before she backs out of the door frame, gently pulling the door closed again.
Pinkie cries her heart out on my shoulder, and I continue to comfort her.
I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that I hugged Pinkie… It was a very tender moment, and the poor thing needed a hug right about then…
…But right now she's just being annoying.
"…And then she said I couldn't bring my welcome wagon in the hospital because it has explosives! I mean come on! They're just fireworks! They're not really…"
"Pinkie."
"…And the loud noises might wake the patients up, but it was in the morning! What kind of sleepy-heads are gonna miss breakfast?! It's the most important…"
"Pinkie."
"…Waffles and pancakes and fried hay and scrambled eggs and…"
"PINKIE!"
She blinks a few times at me. "Yes?"
"It's your turn."
"Oh! Sky five!"
Without even looking at the board… "Wow! You stung my bumblebee…" Pinkie's too good at this game. "How are you so good at this game?"
"I dunno!" She smiles innocently and shrugs.
Two soft knocks come from the door and it slowly opens, revealing a certain purple unicorn.
"Hi Dane, hi Pinkie." She looks curiously at Pinkie. "Well, you look a lot better, Pinkie."
Ah yes, she's become a lot more vibrant than earlier today…
"I KNOW! I feel SOOO much better now!"
…In more ways than one apparently. Not long after we broke our hug, the flat, lifeless strands of her mane poofed up to a big lively (and messy) bundle of pink curls on her head. Interestingly, her curls are rather small, her cotton candy mane almost looks like a big, messy pink afro. Almost. And her coat livened up too. Its healthy sheen now reflects tiny bits of the orange sunset filtering in through the window.
"And Daney-Waney here really helped me get me out of the dumps!"
I cringe at Pinkie's nickname for me.
"Not that I was really in a dump! That would be silly, it's just a metaphor! At least I think it's a metaphor…" She turns to me, "Was I in a dump?" she asks with her head cocked sideways.
"No, Pinkie. I'm pretty sure it's just a metaphor." I can't help but smile at her antics.
"So Dane," Twilight looks to me, clearly concerned, "the nurse told me you're doing fine, how do you feel?"
"Well for a guy that's had like five heart attacks since he got here? I'd say I'm doing pretty good."
"Good, good…" She responds in a neutral tone, my joke seemingly having gone right over her head. "Hey Pinkie, aren't you here a little late? Visiting hours are almost over…"
"Nurse Redheart said I could stay overnight if it was alright with Dane and Nurse Coldheart said I should probably be kept overnight for observation anyway! I wonder what she meant by that…?"
"I was kind of hoping to talk with you, Dane…"
"Actually, Twi, I need to talk to you too…"
"You do?"
"Yeah… if all is well, they're probably checking me out of here tomorrow, and, well, I don't exactly have a place to stay. I probably should have talked to you about this sooner…"
"You can stay at my place!" Twilight insists a little too fast, maybe hoping to beat Pinkie to the punch.
Pinkie does look a little down, "Aw…" she mumbles.
"Great! Thank you, Twi, This really means a lot to me. I uh… I-I'll try to repay you… somehow…"
"Oh, it won't be any problem at all, besides, I'd like to get to know you better." Twi manages a weak smile.
"Oh, would you…?" I wiggle my eyebrows.
Twilight shakes her head and nervously tries to correct herself, "W-What? No, I didn't mean it like that, I-"
Poor Twi, she looks pretty blue. So to speak. I mean, she's purple, after all. But my jest made no improvement to her mood…
I sigh. "I'm just teasing, Twi."
Pinkie's chortling into a hoof.
"Oh, right, of course…" She sighs and looks downtrodden. "I still want to talk to you though…"
Hmm… I wonder if she remembers what I told her last night. Maybe she did forget and she wants to ask me the same question all over again? Either way it'll probably be another disaster. I really need to think of a way to break it to her easier… I'll buy some time.
"Well I should get out of here tomorrow, we'll have plenty of time to talk then, right?" I offer with a smile.
At least we could be somewhere private. Maybe she'd be more comfortable and relaxed in the library anyway… She was so tense last night.
"Oh. Right. Sure." She nods slowly.
"I'm throwing him a party tomorrow!" Pinkie jumps into the air, throwing her forelegs up.
"But no surprises, right Pinkie?" I playfully ask.
"Right! No surprises! I promise!"
"Should be fun, right Twi?" I look around. "Twi? Huh. Where'd she go?"
Pinkie shrugs, "I dunno!"
Twilight's acting funny. Maybe she does remember after all… I'll have plenty of time to talk to her tomorrow, but I can only hope she doesn't start a riot until then…
"Hey Pinkie, it's still your turn."
"Tree two!"
Son of a… "You burned my phoenix…"
The next day…
"Say 'ahhhhh.' "
I comply and the standard over-grown popsicle stick touches my tongue and presses down, the magical field holding it tickles my tongue a little, a feeling that's kind of reminiscent of static electricity. Not the shock, but more like holding a statically-charged balloon against your skin.
Dr. Sutures, my main surgeon, is examining my throat with a penlight. He's an older stallion with an aqua green coat and a graying blue mane and tail. Nice fellow, almost always wearing a cheery little smile. Cutie mark of – you guessed it – a needle and thread making a stitch. It almost looks like someone was stitching up a cut on his flank and they left the needle hanging from the thread on it.
The wood stick lets off my tongue so I close my mouth.
"Alright, now let's listen to my work." He puts his stethoscope in his ears, levitates my hospital gown aside (totally invading my personal space), and he puts the–
"AH!" I jerk back a little.
"Sorry! Sorry! I forgot you haven't got a coat! Here…" He levitates the cold metal listening part to his mouth and breathes on it. He then places the less shockingly cold device to my chest. "See? I remember that trick you taught me." He looks away from me while he listens to my ticker, repositioning the stethoscope several times in between, and ordering me to breathe in certain ways.
He goes on to check my blood pressure, look in my ears, and other menial things like that. Thankfully, he doesn't grab my balls and ask me to cough… I'm not even entirely sure how that would work with hooves…
Satisfied with his work, he proclaims, "I think it's safe to set you loose. Just stay on the prescribed medications and we'll see you in a week for a checkup. Just relax until then, try to take it easy, and for Celestia's sake no more scares from your new friends! And after that we'll have to determine what kind of physical therapy would be best suited for a… stallion of your age, to improve your strength."
"Well, thanks for all the help Doc." I offer my hand for a shake.
"Pleasure was all mine." He puts his hoof in my hand and shakes. He pulls me closer. "You know, I'll be writing a paper on you, and they're having a big medical symposium at Canterlot University, they'll probably ask me to give a lecture!"
"Good for you! Glad I could help advance your career."
"Ha! I'm just a small town surgeon, I don't think that'll ever change. In fact I hope it doesn't. It'd just be nice to have some time in the spotlight, that's all. I like it here. Nice place, Ponyville. You're going to like it too. Sure, we've had more than our fair share of catastrophes, but everything always seems to work out in the end."
"So I've heard," I say with a smile.
"Well," he says as he hops off of his little doctor's stool, "I have to go make my rounds, but I should see you again before you leave. But just in case I don't: goodbye!"
"Goodbye, Doc. It's been good."
I'm finally getting out of here. Next stop, Ponyville!
I feel as giddy as a schoolgirl! I'm going to see the town, meet the ponies, go to Pinkie's party…
…I wish Patty could be here with me to enjoy this…