//------------------------------// // Interdimensional Ship Log 2: Princess Molestia // Story: The Interdimensional Adventures of the S. S. Aweship // by SilverOrion //------------------------------// With another boom, the S.S.Aweship shot through the starry night sky and... crashed into to the mountain upon which Canterlot could be found. Even though this was the case, the S.S.Aweship was too awesome to be smashed to pieces, and instead formed a perfectly shaped crater in the side of the mountain for the ship to remain anchored. Puck immediately woke up from his sleep just as the crash took place. Yawning, he hopped out of the hammock in his quarters and made a beeline for the deck. Reaching the deck now, Puck raced to the side of the ship and peered into the distance to see what this dimension looked like... Darkness. Just plain, cold darkness. Except for the lights off in the distance, and the eerie fog drifting in the sky which seemed to create strange shadow monsters out of even the most innocent of flora and fauna. Even more eerie was how there was not a sound to be heard - as if the entire world was waiting for something; staying quiet and hoping not to be heard by some spirit of evil which would be arriving soon. "Well Puck, we made it." shouted Quirk from the wheel, as he hopped down, took a deep breath, and glanced around himself proudly. "Made it where, Captain?" Puck responded. "We have made it into the Princess Molestia dimension. A fairly unpleasant dimension, however, if I say so myself." "The Princess Molesti..." "Yes, Puck, that is its name - and for very vile reasons as well. However, this is the one dimension we will want to begin our serious plundering in. While Princess Celestia is... distracted elsewhere... we will sneak inside of the Canterlot castle and take for ourselves a mountain of treasure!" "But Captain..." asked Puck hesitantly, "why is it called the... 'Princess Molestia' dimension?" "You do not want to know, Puck, you do not want to know. Now, follow my lead, and whatever you do, do not go running off alone here." Very diligently, Quirk lowered a ramp to an unkempt mountain trail beneath the ship, and trotted across it with Puck following close behind. They trotted on the overgrown mountain trail for what felt like an hour until the two arrived at the gates of Canterlot. Motioning at Puck to stay silent, Quirk crept up to the gates and used his magic to pick the lock, until it dropped onto the ground with a soft thud. Carefully opening the gate so as to keep it from creaking, Quirk motioned at Puck once again to follow him inside the city. - - - Luna read over the book one more time to make sure she knew how to use the spell just right. Ever since she had returned from the moon, she and Celestia had been going back and forth with pulling pranks on each other. They started as being innocent pranks, but over time, they started to become even more sinister; and after Celestia had set rabid house cats to chase her last week - resulting in a lot of flying fur and claws - Luna decided that she had to "up the anti" on her devious pranking plans. In this case, she was now planning to put a spell on Celestia so that her deepest, darkest desires would uncontrollably possess her. It was going to be hilarious to see exactly what she would start doing and saying when the spell took place. Laughing at the image of what her sister could possibly do under the influence of the spell, Luna began to make her final preparations before going to Celestia's bedroom in order to use the spell on her. - - - "Alright, so of all the secret passageways which lead into Princess Celestia's castle, you had to choose this one?" Puck complained. And for good reason, too, because of all places, Quirk decided to take the ventilation into the castle - and the AC was on full power, causing a freezing draft to flow quickly through the vents. "I chose this secret passageway because it will lead us directly to Princess Celestia's bedroom, where we will be able to fetch any valuable items she keeps in there. After that, we will go straight for the castle treasury, before heading back to the ship." Quirk replied. "But captain, if Princess Celestia sees us in her room, then she could just send us to the moon and we'd never get back the ship!" "Not so, Puck, because my instincts are telling me that it is exactly 11:47 P.M., and Princess Celestia is... erm... not around right now. Besides, only Princess Celestia's AUP would send us to the moon on the spot if she caught us in her room." "AUP, captain?" "Yes, Puck, her AUP. You see, my memories or parallel universe travel are still coming back to me; and AUP is an alternate personality of a character or OC in Equestria. It is not their real personality, but for the dimension they are in, it is." "Oh, so like that Pinkamena Diane Pie we met in the Cupcakes dimension?" "Oh, no, she was breaking the... wait..." Quirk stopped crawling through the vent for a moment and began thinking, itching his chin while doing so. Then, his eyes went wide. "Actually, yes, that would have been Pinkie Pie's AUP... this... can't be good." "What? What's not good, captain?" "Oh, well, nothing, I mean... it's probably alright, but... let's... just... not tamper with any AUP's of characters or OC's in any of these dimensions. It would be for the best." "Could something go wrong?" "Well... It... It depends." "Depends on what?" "Well, it depends on-" "HA! I got you RIGHT where I want you!" Both Quirk and Puck turned to look behind them, seeing an unkempt pink pony with a flat mane, and a knife in her hand. She was grimacing maniacally. "You see, Puck," Quirk explained calmly, "Pinkamena Diane Pie is Pinkie Pie's AUP. That, and Pinkie Pie can normally cross through parallel universes on her own." "That, and you STOLE MY YEAST! Now YOU'RE gonna have to give it back - with your OWN bodies! And, you know, I'll let you try some of them while you're still alive. Sharing is caring, after all." "But I thought you didn't need yeast to make cupcakes!" shouted Puck desparately. "I didn't! I needed yeast to make bread for a sandwich!". "Captain, I think we should run." Puck suggested. "Agreed, Puck, agreed." Quirk responded. - - - The two royal guards, both colts, stood outside of Princess Celestia's bedroom. The first one sighed, and scratched his nose; the other one had finally finished counting 1,000,000,000,001 dots on the marble floor, and began to start over. "This is the most boring job in all of the palace." stated the first guard finally. "How so?" replied the second guard. "Well, just look at us! Here we are, standing guard at this one door in a dark, empty hallway, while all the other guys are probably partying at the beach!" "...Heh, yeah, now that you mention it, this job is pretty boring..." "Yeah, and I'll bet that they're getting all the mares, too. Lucky bastards." BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG Both guards jumped and looked at the ceiling, which was the source of the banging noises - which sounded a lot like two colts running desperately away from a mare for some reason, since they were able to hear a muffled, shouting voice: "...And you left me with that other colt! You're going to be so sorry! Now I'm gonna tear your heart out like you tore mine!" After that brief moment, the hoofsteps and shouting were long gone. The two guards looked at each other confusedly. "Shoulda just told her his barn doors swung that way from the start." said the second guard. - - - "Quick Puck, in here!" Quirk hissed, as he dove down a dark, vertical chamber. Puck immediately followed Quirk down the shaft, falling down several meters before hitting the solid metal of the vents. Pinkie Pie's AUP continued running through the vents above, venting her anger over the fact that they had made off with letting Rainbow Dash escape from before, and how it had ruined their play time together. Somehow. "ouch." commented Puck, as he wearily got back up on his hooves again. Looking up, Puck could see Quirk peering through an opening in the vent, leading to an unseen room. "This is no time for useless comments, Puck - we are now in the vent which is adjacent to Princess Celestia's bedroom. Now, we'll need to obtain all of her personal jewelry, and be on our way to the treasure vault!" Quirk proclaimed. Quickly and quietly, Quirk unscrewed the screws in the gate of the vent before pushing it out and sliding it to the side. Motioning Puck to follow him, Quirk sneaked into the room, staying low to the ground all the while - Puck did the same. After they were both outside of the vents and in the bedroom, Quirk quietly whispered, "Now, there's probably guards outside of the room, so we'll want to be careful not to make too much noise and-" Suddenly, a brief, magical blast could be heard in the room - it was the sound of a teleportation spell. Not taking any chances, Puck dived behind the closest form of furniture he could find (which was a chair next to the bed), with Quirk diving under the bed itself. Peering closely, the two could plainly see a dark blue figure, with a starry mane, standing at the foot of the bed with an amused look on her face. "No! I thought this already happened an hour ago!" cried Quirk silently. Looking back at Quirk's face from behind the the chair, Puck could see that he clearly appeared to be distraught. "What's the matter, captain?" "Puck - stay completely quiet, and hold your breath so you can't be heard, after Princess Luna uses that spell." "But I can barely even hear myself breathi-" "SHHHHH!" Luna trotted over to the side of the bed, forcing herself not to laugh, as she took in the sight of Princess Celestia sleeping soundly, peacefully, and unknowingly, in her bed. "Puck! New plan! New plan!" hissed Quirk again. "What is it, captain?" "Can you get a good view of Princess Celestia from where you are?" Puck tried to look up and to peer around the side of the chair in order to get a good view of the scene taking place before him. "Yeah, I think so." "Alright, I want you to listen to my words very carefully. If you screw this up... Well... I'm teleporting out of here and leaving you to deal with it yourself." Puck found that, for some reason, he didn't like the sound of that. "In a moment, Princess Luna is going to use a magic spell on Princess Celestia. When that happens, I want you to do your magic and cause a distraction, which will ruin Princess Luna's concentration, and cause the spell to fail. Whatever it is, it needs to be a loud distraction, so that you can get the guards' attention." "But I thought you didn't want to get the guards' attention, captain." "Puck, there are worse things than getting the guards' attention. Much. Worse. Things." Puck peered around the chair and back at Princess Luna, who appeared to be concentrating on the spell already. Swallowing hard and hoping for good luck, Puck tried to find one of the best magic tricks in his vest for this occasion. Discovering that the best thing he had was something like a cherry bomb, he spread out the feathers in his wing and hid the bomb between his primary feathers for the magic's delivery. "Only magic pegasus..." Puck whispered to himself, preparing himself for the right timing. Luna cast the spell, causing a blue light to eminate from her horn in a way which directed it towards Princess Celestia. In that split second, Puck flapped his wing and shot the bomb into the air, causing a loud pop to be heard, with small rivers of fire darting every which way from the explosion. Luna, in the middle of her spell, tripped over in surprise and fell to the ground. "Who's in there!" shouted a guard from outside the door. Making a gasp of surprise, Luna left the room with a teleportation spell, leaving the two colts and the half-asleep Princess Celestia, who was groaning while getting up in her bed, while rubbing her eyes in the process. The bedroom doors were unlocked, and swung open, with the two colts running inside. “Princess Celestia!” The guard on the right announced. “We saw a bright flash coming from the window of your room, is everything alright!?” “Well of course, everything's just...” a sudden jolt seemed to impact Celestia, as her eyes appeared to widen, pupils dilating harshly, and her teeth seeming to jitter uncontrollably. "Puck!" hissed Quirk "Yes, captain?" "The plan didn't work - I'll meet you back at the ship, but until then my friend, every man for himself!" Of course, he teleported out of the room. "Great." Puck sighed, trying to peer back at the scene taking in the bedroom. Princess Celestia began to eye the colts strangely, as if she had some deep, dark, hidden desires pulsing in the back of her mind. "...Princess Celestia, are you sure you're alright?" Celestia suddenly used her magic to swing the doors shut, locking them in the process. The two guards looked behind them confusedly, then at each other worriedly, then at Celestia fearfully. "Oh, everything is just fine, gentlecolts..." Celestia slurred, "I just wanted to know something... more... about the both of you." "H-how... How s-so, your highness?" She glanced at them both deviously. "I just wanted to know... if you both... liked..." The two colts began to back away slowly. "I just wanted to know if you both liked..." she said once more, toying with their emotions. "Nlock-uay the oor-day, buddy." the Guard on the right hissed hissed in piglatin, which unfortunately, his partner didn't know. "...Bananas." The two colts looked at the Princess with surprise. "Bananas, your highness?" "Yes, bananas. Do you two gentlecolts like bananas?" "Well, uh... I guess, I mean-" "'Cause you're gonna GO bananas!" Celestia howled, "ON THE MOOOOOOOON!" A random cannon shot up from the floor beneath the two colts, pointed directly out the window, and shot them clear through the night sky, all the way to the moon. The cannon then returned to the floor whence it came. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!" she cackled, her dilated eyes looking upward in pleasure. Suddenly, the door burst open once more, with more guards on the scene. "Princess! What happened here? We were on the beach and-" "TOO THE MOON!" the Princess cried once more, the cannon appearing all over again, and shooting those guards, all over again, to the moon. And again, the cannon hid itself in the floor, waiting for its next victim. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" she cried again, laughing hysterically. "My sister! I am so sorry!" Princess Luna exclaimed, running through the door and into the room, "this is all my fault!" Celestia suddenly looked serious, and stared at Luna for a moment. "My sister, I need to tell you something very serious about this." "...What is it? I deserve to hear whatever you say." "Luna, there is just one thing I need to know." Luna swallowed, shame and guilt written on her face. "Luna, do you like bananas?" "...I'm sorry, what was your question?" "IT'S TOO LATE TO ANSWER, 'CAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO... THE MOOOOOOOON!" Again, the cannon shot up from the floor, pointed out the window, and fired Luna right at the moon. "AHAHAHA! AHAHAHA! HAHA!!" "Puck!" Quirk hissed. Puck looked away from the scene and at the vent opening, to see Quirk standing there. "Captain... I thought you'd left!" "Well, I did, but I decided I do need you to be a part of my crew so here I am. Now get back in this vent - we need to get out of here!" - - - "This is bad, Puck, very bad." Quirk began to explain, as both he and Puck briskly traveled through the castle ventilation. "What is bad, captain?" "Well, Puck, this dimension was called the 'Princess Molestia' dimension, because Princess Celestia was supposed to become Princess Molestia by accident when Luna used that spell on her. Instead, because of the distraction we created, she is not Princess Molestia, but Princess Trollestia! Of course, that wouldn't be bad, unless we have the S.S.Aweship with us, in which case, the unpredictable Trollestia could use the dimension break that the S.S.Aweship causes in order to allow herself to wreak havoc throughout infinite dimensions, and causing unrest in the many worlds of fanfiction forever!" "Fanfiction, captain?" "Nevermind, that, Puck, nevermind. What you need to understand is that there are a great many "beings" who are called "dimension authors". These "dimension authors" have the power to create new dimensions for Equestia for many days to come - it is a beautiful thing, Puck, but imagine if it was all ruined by an interdimensional traveler of havoc, chaos, and uncontrollable griefing! Do you know what that means for the many parallel universes of Equestria???" "You mean, if Princess Trollestia gets out of this dimension and travels into others, then it will spell the apocalypse for the many existing dimensions, as well as the many other dimensions to be created by these "dimension authors" in the future?" "Yes, Puck, exactly! If Trollestia pierces the dimension barrier, than it will mean the end of the world for these many dimensions as we know it - their realities become warped, ruined, and twisted, until they are mere gibber-jabber! Not only this, but it could open the doorway for Trollestia to appear in the Forbidden Cannon Dimensions!" "The Forbidden Cannon Dimensions, captain?" "Yes, Puck. And if that happens... May the true Celestia save us all." - - - "Puck, you take the crow's nest, and I'll take the wheel! You'll need to fasten the rope up there to yourself in order to remain on the ship!" Quirk proclaimed, as he jumped to the wheel and flipped some switches. Puck quickly flew up to the crow's nest and fastened a rope around him and the mast. Quirk started to activate the ship with his magic now, causing the ship to levitate off of the mountain and turn to face the night sky above. "Hold on to your beret, Puck!" shouted Quirk. "Aye aye, captain!" shouted Puck in return. Turning his gaze to the stars, Quirk caused the ship to launch into the night sky, the stars appearing to become closer and closer with every second. Then, a portal opened ahead of them into whatever story they would be taken into next. Quirk didn't select any dimensions specifically this time - he only cared that they would be out of this dimension before... No... It couldn't be... Princess Trollestia was flying right next to the portal. "That's not possible!" Puck shouted, seeing what Quirk was seeing, "she didn't know anything about this at all!" "This isn't even in character for her at all, Puck! She's breaking the reality barrier!" Trollestia cackled a maniacal laugh, then shouted "YOU MAD?" before flying right through the portal and into the mystery world beyond. The S.S.Aweship, now moving to fast to stop, flew right through the portal and into the wormhole leading into the next dimension. Whatever future adventures would be had now, were anypony's guess.